Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
Bruce as one of those parents who learns one thing about you and then assumes that is your whole personality
Bruce: Happy Birthday, Jason! Open your presents!
Jason: You got me tires. Again.
Bruce: You used to like tires :(
Jason: Yeah, when I was twelve. And I didnt even like them that much back then either!
Bruce: Should I take them back…
Jason: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FUCKING TIRES, BRUCIE.
Bruce Wayne, trying to go over the case of a murder victim but very confused: Tim, why are you wearing sunglasses in the Cave?
Tim Drake, wearing sunglasses to cover up his black eye that he got last night because there was no patrol but he and his siblings went for a joyride in the Batmobile and events led to his head slamming into the steering wheel: uhhhh
Dick Grayson, very desperately trying to hide this fact from Bruce because he's supposed to be the responsible elder sibling: B, if I may. Tim spoke to us all about a week ago about wearing sunglasses to all murder briefings moving forward to show respect for the dead. I simply forgot. And Jason refused because he has no value for human life.
Jason Todd, very much enjoying watching his brothers squirm but playing along because it's definitely his fault Tim's head slammed into the steering wheel: It's true, I don't.
Very public and an obviously not fake Batman is Bruce Wayne reveal
But Bruce simple acts like this never happened
_
Reporter: MR. WAYNE, MR. WAYNE, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THE FACT YOU ARE A FOUNDING JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER?
Bruce, head tilt, eyes squinted: .. What is a “justice league”
-
Reporter: Mr. Wayne, prince and knight of Gotham-
Bruce: why would I be “night” of Gotham? I would be 3:24 pm at most
-
Gothamite: thank you for the save Batman… or Mr. Wayne… do I call you Batman in the suit and Mr. Wayne when you get coffee on Wednesdays?
Batman: *turning around slowly* what the fuck is a Mr. Wayne?
-
Villain: ah, Batman, or should I say BRUCE WAYNE-
Batman: *puffing up* WHO is this ‘Wayne’ and why is he impersonating me
genuinely the funniest thing i’ve read all week
Jason Todd: You know what they say: go big or go home!
Bruce Wayne, sobbing: I'm begging you, Jason, for once in your life, PLEASE go home
Jason: *whispering* I'm going big
This was a thing from youtube on D&D with this and a all seeing demon(?)
Jason: Hey so as my stalker exactly how much of my life have you seen? Tim, reviewing his most recent pictures: Are you asking because last week you tripped on your own shoelaces in the hallway and fell on your face? Jason: oh..so you saw that... Tim, trying to be nice: ....no
Riddler, talking to some random girl: And here's my number. Ha-ha!
Scarecrow: Do you just... walk around with your phone number pre-written on pieces of paper???
Riddler, smirking: Yep.
Scarecrow, rolling his eyes: Of course you do-
(Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QagRwKrumQ)
Edward: The rule is no Ex's talk though, it just triggers-
Jervis, with anguish: AAAALLLIIIICCCE!
Edward: Just promise the evening won't end with me in the middle stroking both your heads while you cry about Sherry and Alice.
Jonathan, deadpan: I make no promises.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtEZYEnHpN8)
Joker: I don't fucking like you.
Jonathan: What?
Joker: I said I don't fucking like you.
Jonathan: You don't like me???
Joker: No.
*Jonathan tries to keep himself from laughing. It doesn't work. Joker just gives him a death glare.*
Jonathan, laughing: I'm sorry-!
Joker: ...
Jonathan: What? *Puts on a sad face* *It doesn't last.* *He's laughing again.*
Jonathan, still laughing: Bitch, I don't give a fuck-!
Edward: -We should probably stop staring before this gets creepy.
Jonathan: Too late.
*Jervis and Edward look over and see Jonathan on the other end of the table*
Jonathan: You two are losers.
Jervis: Well Then, why do you sit with us?
Jonathan: Because I don't have any friends.