You Broke My Heart - Blog Posts

You still sit in front of me in English class, and it kills me a little bit more every time I have to watch you read out loud. Passage by passage, word by word sentence by sentence.

I feel used.

I feel ashamed.

You meant so much to me yet you threw me away like I was disposable. Like I was garbage. Maybe that is all I am to you. Was it for the money? Was it because I let you use my cell phone? Was it because I made you look less pathetic in comparison? Ten fucking years and 5 calls to CPS yet once the summer ended it was like I didn't exist anymore. So yeah, sit with your annoying friends and complain about how shitty your life is. I for one, know about the lies, the exaggerations, the manipulations. Just last year you had practically convinced me that every little inconvenience was my fault.

Enjoy your friends, enjoy being popular, enjoy not having me around, the only person who didn't just have you around because of pity. I wish I could tell you right now just how I feel. I try not to cry about it but the tears run down my cheeks regardless. You were my best friend, my sister, my everything, but I was nothing. You used me up until I was nothing left, treated me like my depression and anxiety were nothing to you and wouldn't even apologize. Everytime I just wanted a second to myself you'd cry and make me feel bad like the child you are. I hope you feel this right now, the pain I feel every day because of you. Part of me still misses you, I'll see something funny on the Internet and wonder what you'd think. I'll draw a picture or write a song and wonder if you'd be proud of me.

Go fuck yourself.

The trust was as radiant as the sun, yet like a sudden eclipse, you cast shadows that blinded me, sweeping me into darkness.

And as the light faded, I stumbled through the ruins of my shattered faith, each step a haunting reminder of the warmth that had once ignited my soul.

I look at the cover of our love story and acknowledge that there will never be another one quite like it, and I make peace with it.

c.e.

Give me all your hate, it’s your indifference that I can’t take

Dear Guardian Angel,

My gums are bleeding

I still haven't eaten

Do you pity me?

Please don't

I do this to myself

I self sabotage when things get better and act like it's the end of the world

I dug my own grave

Do you feel anything at all…

You were assigned to me

I'm sorry

My observer

For all the things you've seen

For all my thoughts you hear

For all the words I utter

And still I hope you can see that this is not truly me

I am is whatever I've seen on tv

I'm a chameleon

I put on a new mask and change it when it cracks

I'm lost

Who am I?

I’m gone

Or am I just done

Sitting with my thoughts alone

In this empty home

Father ignores and mothers on the other side of the world

I'm sure you already know

I mean you know me better than me

Stuck in my apocalypse

Hollow, dark, empty, incomplete, disguised, loveless

Distorted with the painful echo of my screams and cries.

Begging for an escape from my capturer

Me.

sometimes, i wonder if i'd pushed myself just a little harder in the past, i would have held onto something meaningful by now.

- a.m. {they never last}

“i have a tendency to fall in love with people i already know will end up breaking my heart,

yet i still hope one of them will prove me wrong.”

- A.M. {just one}

ballad

my heart clenches every time i read a poem he dedicates to the beautiful rose girl

whilst i sit here with broken, ink stained fingers, continuously writing about a boy who will never write a sentence for the plain daisy girl

- is it love or envy

a.r.

haunted

your ghost

still leaves kisses

on my cheek to

make sure

i never

forget you

a.r.

2am thoughts

The first person you think in the Morning, or last person you think of at night,

Is either the cause of your happiness or your pain

Sometimes both

the sweet scent of cigarettes and semen on your lips

July 4th, 2021 10:05 p.m

On this day you chose to do something that broke my trust with you.

It ended too soon.

I am broken

I’m aching

I am feeling pain

Now I just want to be numb...

Lexington, VA flagging

Lexington, VA has caved to the woke mob. Lexington has distanced itself from their heritage and VMI removed the Stonewall Jackson monument. Keep em Flying! Flag the town! VMI Cadets and Lee and Jackson have been dishonored by woke politicians. #boycottLexington

Thinking about what to do with my life...