Tw Food Mention - Blog Posts

I hate canon Bruce Wayne hitting his kids so how does he discipline them WITHOUT abuse?

(where's that post about how anything can be a punishment if you frame it as one)

———————

Dick: *breaks the chandelier while swinging from it*

Bruce: *hands him a broom*

Dick: Yeah that's fair.

Bruce: Also you have to use the Batman plate at dinner.

Dick: Please no, I hate that plate.

Bruce: You should've thought about that before.

———————

Tim: *logs into the Batcomputer without permission*

Bruce: And what do you think you're doing?

Tim: I know I've been benched but I just need to—

Bruce: Sit.

Tim: *sits down*

Bruce: *puts on The Bee Movie*

Bruce: If you insist on being down here while injured, then you're gonna watch this in its entirety.

———————

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: And you think that's an excuse?

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: We're going for a drive and I'm picking the music.

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: Maybe you'll take this as a lesson.

———————

Jason: *causes a crime scene*

Jason: Go ahead, punish me. I'll still be right.

Bruce: *takes out a marker*

Bruce: *draws a mustache on Jason's helmet*

Bruce: It'll wash off in three weeks.

Jason: WHAT?!

Bruce: Actions have consequences.

———————

Steph: *breaks protocol*

Bruce: Go change your cape in the car.

Steph: That's not fair!

Bruce: That's the rule.

Steph: *grumbles and puts on a cape that's a slightly different shade of purple from the rest of her suit*

———————

Duke: *sneaks in after curfew*

Bruce: *flicks the light on*

Bruce: Do you know what time it is?

Duke: I can explain—

Bruce: Yogurt. Now.

Duke: But I don't want yogurt.

Bruce: I don't care. Go eat a cup of yogurt and think about what you did.

———————

Damian: *drops his fork at dinner*

Damian: Fuck.

Bruce: *pulls out a straw*

Damian: You wouldn't.

Bruce: *takes a sip of Damian's drink*

Damian: I hate this family.

Dick, eating off the Bat-plate: You and me both.

You say chonky baby Henry, I say Henry's default is pudgy and he just hasn't been eating enough. The minute Robert picks up on his bad eating habits and makes him eat dinner with him every day, he gets his Chonk back, and anyone crushing on him is absolutely screwed because he is So Cute and So Handsome and looks So Happy. The battle for his affections quickly involves giving him snacks and taking him to dinner. Bonus happy side effect; Rachel notices Hyde gaining a bit more weight and is relieved that he doesn't look like a drowned rat anymore.

Ooo hurt/comfort bonus though; Frankenstein makes some snarky comments about his weight just trying to get under his skin and the Lodgers fukkin POUNCE and go off about body shaming. Frankenstein is in trouble for a while, especially with Maijabi (Henry's science dad), Rachel (who's been trying to get Henry to eat more for forever), and Robert (who JUST got Henry to start forming healthier habits).

CHONKY HENRY SUPREMACY.

I did confirm yesterday that I am a chonky bastard, and while chonk often can (keyword being CAN, not that it does always) make me uncomfortable, i LOVE chonky Henry. Chonky baby Henry chonky adult Henry GIVE THE MAN SOME FLUFF OK. Give me Henry being a fucking twig because he has a bad appetite and problems with remembering to eat and the MOMENT Robert realizes how thin Henry has gotten, he makes sure that bastard EATS like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING. Henry slowly but surely 1) getting a good appetite and 2) getting his chonk back because the chonk is natural and it's just like he is growing back into his skin. Actually having energy and his body actually functioning and Henry actually getting happy chemicals because he isn't starving. All those swooning for him swooning HARDER because he looks handsome and happy and ESPECIALLY when he actually has some fluff. Also henry getting stronger because his body can actually work on his muscles yes and PLEASE.

Frankenstein would be such a hypocrite about Henry and his tiny bit of chonk because she is built like a fucking bulldog. Maybe she would say that he is getting chonk because he is a lazy bastard and a rich aristocrat or whatever and teh Lodgers. WOULD POUNCE at her. Grab her by her collar and shake her like DONT YOU SEE THAT HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SICK CHIHUAHUA ANYMORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I just... yes <3 Also projecting more hurt comfort by having Henry feel guilty and having those words nagging in him only for Maijabi, Rachel, Robert, and Jasper to just hug the shit out of him because dont he DARE think that it's NOT GOOD that he has chonk. Just. Yes pls <3

Happy Spaghetti Day y'all

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

If you have a favorite chip that isn’t in the poll you can add it in the replies/reblogs

Whatever is made, I will drink it.

I’m going to regret this

I love cooking so for me it is as follows.

Eating my samefood: :)

Cooking my samefood: :)

Eating my samefood: :)

Waiting for my samefood to cook: >:(