Pregnancy Tw - Blog Posts

If I'm entirely honest one of the harder things about being a feminist is simply realizing how pervasive misogyny still is even in the United States. Like Roe v Wade got overturned and women are being thrown in jail for needing life saving abortions. Yet men will face less time in prison for putting abortion pills in their girlfriends/wives' drinks. Absolute Insanity

Azazel Hawthorn

HEY, i think i just saw AZAZEL HAWTHORN walking down the strip. stop by to catch up and you’ll learn the THIRTY-ONE YEAR OLD is working as a BIOTECHNOLOGIST and lives in STARGAZER VILLAS. given they are ECCENTRIC but BRUTAL, it’s likely that they ARE NOT a vampire. on the flipside, rumor has it that THEY HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR A WHILE AND CAME BACK CHANGED, TO WHISPERS OF WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IN THEY’RE LONG ABSENCE, ONE SUCH RUMOR GUARDED ABOVE ALL OTHER, AN ILLNESS THEY KEEP TO THEMSELF. and it keeps them looking over their shoulder. i bet you can find them tearing up the dance floor to SURVIVOR by 2WEI and you’ll know why they’re called THE TORMENTED SOUL.  ☾ .⭒˚ avan jogia. non-binary + he/they. bisexual + scorpio.

General Information

Full name: Azazel Vayu Hawthorn Reason or meaning of name: Azazel-Scapegoat Vayu-Air Hawthorn- Thorn Bush Nickname: Zaz/Zel/Hawthorn/(Insert none name-related nicknames here) Reason for nicknames: His names. Age: 31 How old does he/she appear: 25 Nationality: American. Religion: None. Place of birth: Jarbidge, Nevada The current living place: Las Vegas, Nevada Job title: Biotechnologist. Employing company: Income: That's no one's business but his. Socioeconomic status: That's no one's business but his. Is he or she married? No. Pets: Desert Lynx Cat (Caracal) -Female- Name: Moonshine, Permit: Acquired. Russian Tortoise -Male- Name: Jellybean. Green Iguana -Male- Name: Crackers. Irish wolfhound -Female- Name: Shadow. Mother tongue: American English. Birthday: November 22. Does he or she own a home? Yes. Clubs/Memberships: Math Club, Band (Thunderstorm Dreams: Back-Up Vocals/other), Robotics Club, History Club, Dance Club, Theater Club, Book Club, Chemistry Club, Occult Club, Dungeons and Dragons Club. Public perception of them: Introverted but welcome before his disappearance, unsettling and confused after he comes back. Plays a musical instrument?: Yes, his voice and oboe are on a near professional level. But practices in other instruments, with varying ability, mostly at the average skill. Plays a sport?: Yes, Golf/Tennis/Volleyball/Baseball/Skateboarding/Mixed Martial Arts/Soccer/Gymnastics. How he/she would spend a rainy day: Inside doing inside hobbies. Smokes: Yes. Drinks: Yes. Other drugs: Yes, which is a very recent development for him. What does the character like?

Museums Pop music Worms Parks Lakes Color: white Rock Cryptozoology Sheep Fantasy novels Singing Graphic novels Stamps Choreography Clay Photography Caves Monster movies Snakes Baths Insects Alcohol

What does the character dislike?

Mimes Open windows Baking Epic music Throwing knives Going outside Color: olive Planes Pool Clowns Poetry Statues Minimalism Listening to people talk

Background

Trigger Warnings For: Drug use, Fire, Alcoholism, Pregnancy, Death, Mental Illness, Violence, Serious Injury.

Like most stories begin, Azazel's started with his parents meeting. Sharada was visiting the States, all the way from India, when she met D'Arcy. It was one of the last stops on her journey through America, to hit spots in Nevada, noted for their 'beauty', one may say. As she had a hobby in photography, she had heard at one point of Jarbidge being one such sight of beauty. A few days into visiting the area, she met her future husband, and of course, they hit it off. They would start to date, with much difficulty, given her not being a Native to America. But, decided to marry, and soon Sharada had been living in Jarbidge with her new husband. Over time, having four children, and a fifth on the way in the years that followed. Life with her beloved husband was a simple one, but a cherished one for the couple. Who focused on their children and raised them partially in an off-grid lifestyle. Sharada would take on the task of homeschooling her children. while D'Arcy had focused on his job that often took him away from home for long periods of time.

For a little extra cash for the family, Sharada would work part-time as a photographer, and in doing so, their children rarely wanted for anything. They grew up living among nature and relying on themselves to find entertainment. But they were not raised entirely outside of society either. They often played outside with other children who lived in the county. When he could, D'Arcy would get time off to take his wife and children on trips to several places within the country and outside of it. Sharada would take these opportunities to make the trips not only fun, with her husband, but to also use many of them to teach her children. However, with their fifth child coming, these outside activities became less and less for Sharada as she prepared for her newest baby. It was nearing the last few months now before the newest addition to the family would be disrupting her sleep, and she couldn't be more excited.

While on a shopping trip near Las Vegas to get a few more odds and ends, her husband was working later that day and not being able to grab them on his commute back home, she put her four older children into her station wagon and off the family went. After picking up the odds and ends she needed, she noticed she had nearly run out of gas and made a small stop in the city at a gas station. On her way to the door, a younger man came bolting out of the gas station, hissing a 'watch it, lady' or some other such thing as he slammed the door into Sharada, sending her harshly to the ground. One of her children shouted after the man about him being rude, which he either didn't hear or ignored, as Sharada winced in sudden pain. The store clerk came running out, screaming at the man about having called the cops before noticing Sharada and asking if she was okay, before they both noticed her water had broken. Shocked, as she didn't think she had been hurt that badly, Sharada asked the man to call for an ambulance, frightened, of course. Then, as she waited for that, she called one of her husband's relatives to come get the children then her husband, informing him what had happened, and what was happening.

Within the next hours, things grew to be extremely traumatic for the family as their youngest would be born not breathing, and it took a concerning amount of time for the staff to get their baby to breathe. Sharada verbalizing this as she watched her baby be worked on only feet away. Before finally hearing Azazel cry, it was weak, but it was there, and it eased some of the stress. D'Arcy grabbed Sharada's hand, assuring her their child was going to be okay. She wasn't even allowed to hold him as he was rushed away to an incubator. She could see he was so much smaller than his older siblings, and that made her worry more. When she was finally able to see him, even rushing it. But agonized over the fact that she had to see him this way. Holding Azazel for the first time in her arms, however, made whatever anger and pain from how he came to be here disappear. But a pit had formed thinking that the circumstances of her youngest's birth were an omen of a future of bad luck, and suddenly she realized she was crying at the idea of it. Her tears dropping onto Azazel, she stared, hoping that this was just her mind overreacting.

After some time being monitored Azazel was finally allowed to come home, things were good from that point on. For a while. Azazel's first year after that had no issues. But about that time, while his mother was looking away and dealing with something for one of his older siblings, another of his siblings, younger than the other, placed marbles onto the tray of Azazel's high chair, resulting in his consuming some and choking on one. Sharada managed to pull the marble out, but he had to get the others he swallowed out, through other methods. The sibling who did this had all marbles banned from the house till they could be used properly as punishment, along with other discipline. Life returned to normal again. Azazel had been about four or five, just starting to form a very distinct personality for trouble. Whether by his own action or just circumstances and bad luck. He had a lot of accidents, trips, falls, scuffed knees, and small animal attacks from getting too close to the wild ones. But nothing serious until one day, climbing a tall tree with one of his older siblings. He wanted to prove he was the better climber. Only to, about 20 feet off the ground, have one of his feet slip off the side of a branch, sending him straight to the ground, hitting it hard enough to knock him unconscious and crack his skull open.

Every couple of years, something like that seemed to be happening to the youngest Hawthorn. Sharada noticed changes each one had done to her son, and felt useless watching, feeling as if there were something more at play. But again, she was overthinking things. As she had given up her religion and chose to live comfortably with her husband, both deciding to live without it, and let their children decide if they wanted to become religious on their own. But, still, old habits did die hard for her. She remembered tales, of Djinn, of other such spirits. Often she wondered if this bad luck Azazel had seemed to have around him was her fault, for rejecting her religion. Perhaps it was the same for husband, the spirits were conspiring to punish them, and they were targeting her child. The idea seemed too silly to her until one day. While driving home with a now seven-year-old Azazel, who had been sporting a broken arm after taking a harsh hit while playing a soccer game. Yet Azazel had just told her of it, 'I'm okay.' When he noticed her worried look at him. He was always okay. But she caught him, sometimes, not always. When he was not trying to brave the pain. Why, she could not help, such a sweet, strong child, would be cursed by any 'angry spirits' was beyond her. Again, it was silly, and she had to stop thinking it was anything to do with 'spirits' or the like.

Azazel was chatting up his parents on this car ride home from his latest check-up on his broken arm. He had been yapping about monsters and musing about drawing one of his own. Or, well, painting. He enjoyed that much more than drawing. Though he was not good at it yet, he wasn't too bad. Azazel paused long enough to ask his dad, as he usually did, about his indigenous ancestry, specifically asking about monsters. His father, who was only half-blood and partially Germanic, commented that the last time he told him stories of such things, Azazel was scared for a week, thinking one was in his closet. Which Azazel giggled, commenting back that he wasn't afraid anymore! But before the conversation could carry on, his father noticed a truck driver driving strangely behind them. Azazel looked through his window to see what was going on, only to see the truck suddenly turned into the back of their car, sending it sliding to one side before it caught, and flipped onto its side. Sliding across the road, metal scraping against asphalt was the last thing Azazel heard before everything went dark.

Though he was awake, he could only guess that it was a few minutes later, his mother holding him as she was running. Staring back at his father, his vision blurred for a moment before looking over toward the truck, now on its side, and the smell of some kind of gas filled the air. Then he heard several booms, and fire started exploding, like a chain reaction, suddenly surrounding them. As things got hot and too bright, Azazel closed his eyes, feeling something hit his mother before they were both tumbling into grass, and rolling down a bit down a small slope. Though she was a bit burnt by the fire, she was more concerned with Azazel. Who had taken some burns on his arms, legs, and face. She was repeatedly asking to tell him where it hurt, otherwise, he ignored her. Because he was honestly too shocked by the situation to respond. Mostly because he didn't see his father. When Sharada noticed this too, she stood and screamed out her husband's name. Azazel was able to breathe when D'Arcy emerged from the smoke just a few feet away. Finally, he snapped back from his episode. Standing up and running to the other, shouting at his mother so she would see him, too.

After a bit of a stint in the hospital to make sure his wounds weren't more serious, Azazel, his mother, and father returned home and resumed life. Azazel wore the new wounds proudly. Showing them off to his siblings for the most part, not wanting to focus on anything else, as he didn't want to think about it. One of his oldest siblings commented that 'burn scars' would be cool. Then commented that Azazel's didn't look like they would be noticeable. Before the two got in a playfight over it in a childish little argument. Which, as soon as Sharada had noticed this, shut it down, not wanting to have Azazel's injuries get worse. One of his siblings commented that Azazel was a walking bad luck totem, jokingly at this before running off to find something they could all do that wouldn't irritate Azazel's wounds. Pulling out a board game. The family spent some hours playing before going to bed. Once again, life returned to normal for the family.

After that, things were normal for a long time. The 'bad luck' seemed to have worn out, much to Sharada's delight. Perhaps she was just worrying too much, and overthinking it, she decided. As Azazel and his siblings grew up, he still got into little accidents, but nothing too life-threatening, thankfully. He seemed to settle more into who he would soon to be as an adult, she came to realize. As well, he showed to be quite intelligent, earning some amount of attention due to her persistence. As he seemed to show a budding interest in the sciences, she pushed him in that direction, letting him experiment and grow in that field as much as she possibly could.

In school, Azazel was often viewed as 'odd' for his quirky personality. But capitalized on many of the more 'jocky' and 'popular' types, offering to get them passing grades for some extra cash, so he didn't have to spend his time working some crummy part-time job through school, like his older siblings did. Entirely so he could focus on his own pursuits. It was during these teenage years that he honed his advisory skills. Especially when he was in line to take up an important role in a local gang he had gotten in with in these early years of his life, because of his skills, and rather than being an adversary, he made a better asset. Not only did he want his classmates to just use his answers, he wanted them to learn, and he wanted them to love learning. Or, well, he hoped they would do the work on their own, and still pay him for it. But whatever got him money, he wasn't too upset with what the outcome would usually be. But eventually he skipped a couple of grades, and within a few years, was attending university, one of the best in the country. Earning a doctorate and falling in love.

Eventually the two were made aware she was pregnant with their child. They both were excited over the idea of having a child. Azazel, who had been heavy into drinking and staying out late at night, do to unresolved trauma he was keeping to himself, told himself at this time that he was going to have to cut back on these habits. He even considered leaving the gang, but quickly dismissed this notion, finding it too valuable and enjoyable to leave. But he still found that starting a family would be in conflict with the dangers of being in a gang. Especially when he was in such an important position. However, he decided to not think about it, as it was distressing. Then kept putting it off, over and over again. Till it was time for the baby to be born. Just on time, his girlfriend woke him early one morning to tell him it was time and he grabbed her bag she had pre-prepared, helping her to the car. Driving her to the hospital. Everything looked to be going well. Azazel was with her when she brought their son into the world. But all too quickly, things went sour. While holding their son, he had seen how happy she was, before suddenly the color was leaving her face. The baby was taken away. He was healthy. But then, everything started to get hectic after that. He was rushed out of the room without saying much, except that his girlfriend was bleeding out.

Hours passed, his family was with him, his father or mother asking on his behalf what was happening during these times, when he didn't. It was during the night, when he was told that his girlfriend had died from blood loss. Angry, Azazel lashed out, demanding to know what could have happened. Only to be told 'It just happened' and 'We did everything we could'. His mother came to hold him, to stop him from getting more upset, and potentially hurting someone, which wasn't even on his mind at the moment. Despite his anger, he knew he had plenty of other things to take care of than spend any effort going to prison, for whatever he could have done, that night. Not an hour later, he was told he could visit his son. He wasted no time in doing so. Entering the room, he saw the baby, squirming a bit in his blanket he was wrapped in. Hesitating, he made his way over and reached over, cooing down at his son before gently brushing a finger along his red-stained face. It was just them, and it hurt so much to think of it like that. Just the two of them, now. Suddenly he remembered the conversation he and his girlfriend had on what to name the baby.

"What about Mapplethorpe?" "What? That names going to get him bullied. We can't name our baby Mapplethorpe." "Oh come on, AZ-a-zell, Mapplethorpe is totally a cute name!" "No! I'd rather name him James. At least it's boring."

He realized that he could hear her voice still, now. But soon enough, he wouldn't even remember it. Taking a seat next to the baby, he sighed, resigning to name their son Mapplethorpe, for her. Already regretting it, but knew he had to. At least his middle name would be James, he decided.

After being allowed to come home, Azazel brought Mapplethorpe home to Stargazer Villa, and the two spent the following six years without any major incident. A few pets and what felt like a lifetime later, Mapplethorpe and Azazel had carved quite a life for themselves. Azazel never left the gang, under his watchful eye when the two did come into contact. As things started to get more serious, Azazel would leave Mapplethorpe with his siblings, explaining he had to do stuff for his day job as a biotechnologist, and he figured the other would have been better off enjoying the company of his cousins. Though he had no clue how dangerous things had truly gotten till it was literally right on top of him. A day after dropping his son off on one such visit to one of his siblings, his memories just stop, and start not making much sense.

Then, suddenly, he is waking up. The dark star filled sky over him, the moon seeming fuller and bigger than it usually did on this day. Or maybe it was just in his head, honestly. He was lying somewhere, in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. He felt numb at first, as if his brain wasn't readily acknowledging…whatever happened. Taking in a deep breath, though, something snapped. Something inside of him was broken, or wrong, or- well, he couldn't really explain it, himself. But before he could stop himself, he was screaming like a banshee out there in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. Thrashing against the ground, tears building in his eyes, before spilling out. Twisting his body, arching his back, he screamed before grabbing his head as all these emotions had suddenly crushed down on him. He swore he could hear barking, howling in the area around him. Wolves, or coyotes, maybe. He didn't have the brainpower to decide which one was more concerning at that moment. As this compulsion washed over him. Then suddenly, after some minutes, it stopped. He was numb again, curled up into a ball, his arms wrapped around his head. Now shaved down to a buzzcut. He had to think, he had to control himself. He told himself. Though the lack of memories, yet all these devastating emotions that washed over him, made doing so hard for him.

He felt extremely weak, especially after that uncharacteristic fit he just had. He didn't really register them as his, as he could not remember in that moment, just why he was feeling them. Pushing himself up took several tries. He felt just too weak at first. When he would get up just enough, he would collapse again, needing to rest for a few minutes. It was cold out here, but that was the last thing he was worried about. But what wasn't he worried about at the moment? He felt confused and lost about a lot of things. A million questions flooded his mind. But he couldn't even begin to answer them in this place, this nowhere he woke up in. He had to get home. He made that his first goal. Attempting to stand again, he managed to do it this time, though it took a few steps, holding a hand to his gut, before stumbling and falling to his knees. Catching himself with his free hand, he prevented himself from collapsing to the ground entirely. Something was very wrong, that was the issue, and he didn't know if he could get over it, and survive out here. Lifting his head, he looked around, at first only seeing absolute darkness aside from the little light the moon and stars in the clear sky provided him. It was no use in the desert brush that surrounded him.

But he continued to try, regardless of his weakened state. Even when he started to feel downright sick and ready to give up, he persisted, making his way to the lights in the distance. That he knew was one indicator of humanity. All he needed to do was get there. Though in the hours it took to get himself there, he stumbled, crawled, and dragged himself there. He recognized he hadn't even been far from home. Slouching against a building, he assessed, exhausted, his situation. Maybe, he told himself, if he just slept, everything would be better after that. Azazel pushed himself forward, trying to remember the way home from where he was. His clothes were in tatters, and filthy. Which seemed to bring him some attention, well, the way he looked, period, seemed to garner some attention from people leaving businesses that were still open at this hour, like bars. Azazel hadn't even registered these people, just focusing on keeping himself upright. Eventually, as the sun was looking as if it might rise soon, he came onto his street. Walking up to his house, he saw some yellow tape. Reaching out, he angrily ripped it off his door and tossed it out behind him, it getting caught in the wind. Then it got caught on a corner. Reaching into his pocket he hoped to find his key, only to find nothing. Great. Reaching up, he toyed with a part of the house that soon came loose, a key dropping out onto the stoop. With agonizing difficulty, Azazel knelt down to grab the key and stuck it in the door

Once inside, he realized why tape was on the door, seeing a significant amount of blood, he guessed that people thought he was dead or something, with how much blood stains still dotted the house. But he didn't have time to think about that. He was just set on sleeping. Not even thinking how things remained as they were, nothing was out of place, the blood didn't reach passed the entrance. Though as he moved to climb into his bed, he noticed how everything seemed to have some layer of dust on it. He told himself, once he had a decent night's sleep, he could figure out everything else that was going on. His mind just needed to rest before it could connect all the indefinite pieces that kept popping up in his head, sparking more bursts of overwhelming emotions. Unfortunately, days later, no amount of sleep resolved much, if any of it. But what did come to mind, he knew he had to keep to himself, along with the strange illness that he came home with, an absolute secret, even though it exacerbated his mental health along with it. He had to get used to when he needed to make his exits in efforts to keep his secrets. Once he had a few days to himself to get used to this new state of life, he revealed himself to well, not be dead, and back from wherever it is he even went.

With the questions from several directions mostly being about where he was, what happened, and the like, he refused to answer them. Quickly making exits wherever possible to go do something else of seeming importance. When it came to Mapplethorpe, he told the sibling primarily taking care of him at the moment to keep his son for the time being. Not sure it was safe, and still not sure if he was dangerous, with his sudden state of mind, and the illness making it worse, it seems he thought it would be better. Though he did let his sibling visit him with his son occasionally since coming back. What bothers him most, however, since coming back was his welcome back to regular mafia activity, putting on a strong front, he laughed off questions about where he was, what he had been doing all that time, and all of that. Not really ever giving a definitive answer, but played off his absence well enough. Or at least he hoped, but the whispers, the rumors buzzing from the housekeeping at the head of the family's home really would become a problem, one he had to make sure didn't get too out of control, one way or another. Even if it meant spilling blood on the carpet.

Self-Para's

Notable events/milestones: TBD. Accomplishments: TBD. Memories: TBD. Criminal record: Failure to appear/loitering. Affiliations: Mafia, Consigliere of the VITELLI FAMILY. Skeletons in the closet: TBD.

Relationships

Grandparents: Unknown Parents: Sharada Hawthorn (Chaudhari)(Mother)(Alive), D'Arcy Hawthorn (Father)(Alive). Sisters or brothers: 4 Older siblings. Wife or husband: None Children: A son. Currently living with one of Azazel's siblings since he's been missing. Other important persons: The devil may care(X)/The close encounter(RIKA HOSHINO)/The cracked jewel (X)/The malingering sloth (KINERET VITELLI)/The bad omen (SALEM JUNG)/The tiger shark (X) Partner(s)/Significant other(s): Daniel Spanou, Jazmín Ostrowski, Robertina Felipe , Zdislava Gómez, Hèctor Franklin, Gray Szabolcsi, Atousa Schultheiss, Vladimira Karimi, Renza Paulsen, Ambrose Grabowska, The tiger shark (X). Lover(s): Viliam Sheenan, Petro Sugita, Tancrède Temitope, Jacinth Shiraishi, Flavius Vaughan, Rehema Ölvirsson, Zaki Jahodová. Parents/Guardians: Best friends: Víkingr Gill, Adélard Kurz, Azra Krastiņa, Varuna Caivano. Friends: Kelley Calabrese, Gláucio Pál, Ismaël Abdullah, Adewale Abeln, Lina Pain, Conn Abdullayeva, Yaara Quirk, Simon Kovac, Jamshed Urano, Isapo-Muxika Sheedy, Guwisti Dalton, Inga Lukáč, Manius Kocsis, Andre Šarić, Zoe Yonker, Édouard Tsvetanov, Anah Giménez, Fernão Pugliese, Beata Warren, Dálach Linden, Dipaka Van Houten, Helmut Abdullayev, Raju Banerjee, Oghenero Zheng, Zoriana Mac Ruaidhrí, Maja Jacobse. Rivals: Marusya Babić, Hilding Ionescu, Oona Alvey, Zedong Oberst, Sébastienne Sydykova, Lorena Mlynáriková, Vancho Suess, Lisha Rutgers. Enemies: Helvius Davis, Tomiko Gold, Johannes Mägi, Younes O'Connor, Röstäm Klementová, Katrina Jiang. Colleagues: Mentors/Teachers: Raül Musil, Tam Cummings, Lamech Reece, Bodil Mulligan, Dalibor Westbrook, Nadir Antall, Miriana Roman, Erik Watts, Ferdi Andrysiak, Selig Shaughnessy. Idols/Role models: Socrates, Cesare Beccaria, Plato, Lao Tzu, Hypatia, Jacques Derrida, Jacques Lacan, Voltaire, Max Scheler, John Stuart Mill, Babe Ruth, Denzel Washington, Neil Armstrong, Carl Sagan, Chris Rock, Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Nostradamus, Angelina Jolie, Noah (Ark), Ernest Hemingway, Michael Jordan, Robin Williams, Pablo Picasso, Charles Darwin, Robert Downey Jr, Galileo Galilei, Albert Einstein, Aristotle, Amelia Earhart, Alexander the Great, Harry Houdini, Bruce Lee, C. S. Lewis, Nikola Tesla, Leonardo da Vinci, Unatural things: TBD.

Physical Characteristics

Addictions: Alcohol Bad Habits:

Seems to "zone out" when music is playing Taps fingers on surfaces Biting fingernails Overthinking Popping/snapping bubble gum in public Pacing Maintains intense eye contact Shows up unannounced

Color of Eyes: Deep Dark Brown. The color of Hair: Dark Brown. Type of hair: When not tamed with product or such, his hair can be curly. 3b type. It's pretty thick and usually appears styled/gelled/other, Or soft when left in a cleaned natural state. Hairstyle: Used to have hair long, very long, almost has never had his hair cut his entire life. Will fight tooth and nail if someone tries. More because he doesn't like to be touched, and such. So his hair has just grown to be incredibly long, and with that, he spends a lot of time working on keeping it out of his way, and the way of others. Examples. Upon his return from his assumed death, it is cut much shorter, initially a buzzcut when he came back, now a little longer. The color of Skin: Cold Golden Brown. That's now a lot paler. Fashion style: Prefers wearing elegant clothing, practical clothing, and respectable clothing. All with cool colors, winter colors, or light colors. Often wearing hats, scarves, gloves, belts, and some jewelry. Favorite outfits: Here. Accessories: A book, A pocket watch, A whistle, A bookmark, a Bottle of pills, a Chain, A Fork, A Harmonica, Pistol, A bottle of glue, an Umbrella, Silencer, a Skateboard, a Kitchen knife, Handheld game systems, a Laptop, Journal, all in his backpack interchangeably. Cleanliness/Grooming: He is often good at keeping up his hygienic habits but can be messy. Posture/Gait: Takes a knee when he kneels, Sleeps/rests in the fetal position, When he crouches he squats fully, Stands with arms akimbo, that is with hands on hips, elbows pointing outward. Coordination (or lack thereof): Most of the time he has excellent coordination. But not all of the time. Does the character drink regularly? Yes. Does the character have any disabilities/conditions? Yes

Asthma [mild persistent] ADHD [impulsive/hyperactive type] Sleepwalking Undiagnosed illness Paranoia Generally Low Tolerance for everything Dissociative Amnesia CPTSD Misophonia Anemia Narcolepsy

Does the character smoke? Yes. Good Habits:

Can literally fall asleep anywhere Strong convictions Thrives in hot weather, hates cold weather Prone to singing, whistling, or humming quietly Brutally honest in most conversations Likes to file their fingernails to sharp points because it makes them feel more dangerous Fantastic chef, but hates to cook Wears long sleeves with thumb holes to cover the lower part of the palm Loves to walk in the rain Restless/constantly needing to move/fidget [Dispersing energy]

Height: 5'10” Weight: 137 Body type: Lean/Toned. Fitness level: Intermediate Tattoos: Has five tattoos. Scars/Birthmarks: Has eight scars. Has eighteen birthmarks that look more like freckles, dotted across his body. Hobbies:

Woodworking Metalworking Learning Crafting Gardening/other Coloring Astronomy Antiquing Mathematics Experimenting Parkour Chess Painting Playing board/tabletop games

Is he/she wearing glasses? No. Is the character healthy or does he have any diseases? No. What’s the style of the character? (modern, outmoded): Practical and elegant.

Mental Characteristics

Education: Attended University. IQ: 180. Skills/talents: Hiding, Palm objects, Giving advice, Nature lore, Climbing, Personal productivity. Fears: Abandonment/Loss of identity. Optimist or pessimist?: Pessimist. Daredevil or cautious?: A bit of both, given a situation, more so a daredevil, however. Logical or emotional?: Logical. Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?: Probably a disordered, yet methodical and clean mess. Prefers working or relaxing?: Relaxing. Confident or unsure of himself/herself?: Confident. Animal lover?: Yes. Self-perception: That he is an omen of bad luck or something like that.. Assumed external perception: Winning. Self-Confidence: Strong. Rational Or Emotional: Rational. Personality traits: Eccentric/Brutal/Ambitious/Dependable/Principled/Deceitful/Impersonal/Complex/Secretive/Charming/Tense/Compassionate/Precise/Well-read/Chummy/Honorable/Distractable/Surprising/Casual/Steely/Crafty/Aloof Personality type: INTJ. Enneagram: 8w7. Character archetype: Ruler. Zodiac: Scorpio. Moral Alignment: True Neutral most of the time, but will to jump alignments from Good to evil, given what the situations call for. Temperament: Phlegmatic. Animal Types: Owl Aura: Honeysuckle Chakra: Third Eye (Imbalanced) Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw. Patronus: Great Grey Owl, Bat or Buzzard. Ilvermorny House: Horned Serpent. Introvert/Extrovert: Introvert. Holland Code: ICA: Investigative, Conventional, Artistic. Morals/Virtues: Chastity, Patience. Sins/Vices: Sloth, Gluttony. Dark Triad: Machiavellian-ism. Elemental: Fire (Electricity) or Air. Avatar Element: Earth. Divergent: Erudite. Loves: Clutter, Horror movies, Trips, Toys, Running, Animals, Puzzles, Spicy food, Art, Fall, Organizing, Blue, Rugby, Meditation. Angered by/Pet peeves: Humming, Over apologizing, Telemarketers, Line cutters. Obsessed with: Zoomania, Methomania, Ergasiomania, Klopemania, Technomania, Bibliomania, Infomania. More Secrets: Makes up stories since he thinks he's boring. Shot someone. Regrets: His seemingly stubborn and odd behavior made other children avoid him when he was growing up. Feeling like he's missing out. Unknowingly helped a friend do something that hurt other people, finding out afterward. Not accepting being friends with someone who would have had a better impact on his life as he grew up. Wrote a best-selling novel, that was stolen and put under another person's name. Not liking some foods. One of his musician friends invited him to join their band, but he left the opportunity because of a trivial matter he had with himself. Preferred communication methods: Listening and visual communication. Style and pacing of speech: Casual style, pace is normal, understandable when not excited. He pauses a little more than regularly to think. Pitch: His pitch can be low-mid to mid-high. Laughter: Pigeon laughter. Smile: Warm smile. Use of gestures: Nodding, Shaka sign, Manipulator gestures, and Iconic gestures. Facial expressions: Ecstatic, Pitying, Impassive, Stolid, Sanguine, Vacant, Scornful, Glancing, Straight-faced, Chagrined, Cheeky, Hopeless, Bleak, Blinking, Wry, Wary, Bilious, Somber, Tight, Glaring, Darkly. Verbal expressions: Bloviation, Mutterings, Utterances, Whispering, Talking through.

Emotional Characteristics

How does the character cope with fury and rage? Probably go and work on one of his interests. Or he may just argue/fight the person who put him in this state of mind. … with unhappiness? Certainly, go away to focus on a project/interest till he feels better. … with rivalry? Ignore them. Or Antagonize them. … with new situations? They are fine. … with trouble? Handle it. What’s his or her meaning of life? Hasn't decided yet. What makes this character happy? Be able to do his hobbies or invest in his interests. Is the character often biased? Here and there. Probably. Depends on that topic. Does the character prefer to give or to take? He leans more toward giving. But he's not ashamed of just taking, either. Character Questions

Here

Glancing at the woman who appeared quite pregnant, Zahra hurried to shake her head. She couldn't possibly involve this kind stranger in her dumb mess of a situation.

"Oh, I can't expect you to help. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, or however the saying goes." Of course she had to oppose, embarrassed she appeared as if she needed help carrying the books she had been dumb enough to check out and now return in one trip. That being said, Zahra had to admit she was just about to give up and escape, leaving the bag and its contents behind. She had to admit defeat and accept the helpful offering, no matter how mortifying.

Nodding, she picked up just a few books, the ones trying to make their own escape. It was a miracle she hadn't actually lost any of them on the way. That acted as a small consolation at least. "Actually, that would be really helpful. Carrying this would be a lot easier if I didn't have to worry about some of these getting lost," she admitted, a hint of defeat in her voice.

For as long as Sage could remember, libraries were one of her happy places. While many of the memories she had of her mother eroded with time, she could remember spending hours of her early childhood happily perusing the many shelves of their local library while her mom held her ever-growing stack of books with an amused smile. Walking up to the library the only thing she looked forward to more than finding a new read was the air conditioning. While summer felt like it had barely begun, it was already kicking her ass. “I hate stairs,” she grumbled as she trudged up the steps, one hand on her lower back and the other fixing her ‘I’m not like other girls, I’m worse’ tote that threatened to slip off her shoulder. She had only borrowed a couple books this time but was already a day late to return them. Something that was minuscule in the scheme of things, but stressed her out endlessly. Finally having made her way up the steps, she stopped beside another patron to also catch her breath. How any person chose to have a baby was beyond her. Even more baffling were the people who chose to have a second baby knowing damn well the little fuckers made it so much harder to breathe. Taking in as deep a breath as she could, Sage glanced down and noticed the tote spilling over with books. “Damn,” she said before she could stop herself, her gaze darting from the overburdened Ikea bag to the breathless woman with a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I won’t ask. Plus, I can’t judge. I usually look like I robbed the place when I leave,” she added though even she had yet to take out quite so many at the same time. Truthfully, it made her feel like she should step up her library game, but seeing how winded the woman was had her reconsidering. “Do you need help? I can’t carry all of them, but I can lighten your load a little.” She held up her practically empty tote as she spoke. Sure there wasn’t far left for her to go, but she knew that if she was struggling, she would have been happy for the help. Hell, if it had been socially acceptable, she would have asked someone to fireman carry her up those damn steps just so she could avoid the struggle.

Truth was Julia had seen a lot in her career as a doctor and an expectant mother wanting to have a drink after being deprived for almost nine months was hardly the most shocking. In fact it was probably far more common than the blonde in front of her realised, but her attention had been entirely swayed towards something else. The mention of symptoms that could contribute to something more serious. “I’m so sorry to hear about your first trimester struggles, do you feel you’ve managed to find coping mechanisms for that? If not I’d be happy to refer you to one of our wonderful members of the mental health team here. You just let me know.” A soft smile before turning back to the iPad and scribbling down a quick note with the apple pen. “Unplanned things can often be stressful, having children is a huge undertaking so there is no shame in taking a while to get your head around that fact. There is no judgment in the room, so please feel free to say what you need to, everything stays between us.” Offering an encouraging smile because you never know what a patient might say that could be related to their condition even in a way they didn’t expect to be relevant. Her eyebrows rose slightly the next time Neva spoke, not because of the answer to the issues she was having because truthfully she’d expected that, but no it was more because of her statement that she planned to have her babies in Sweden - meaning a long flight would be involved. “You have a transatlantic trip planned prior to your babies being born? Due to the things you’ve told me in the last ten minutes I really must advise that that’s a bad idea. I want to get some tests run on you for pre-eclampsia and if they come back conclusive we’re going to need to think about putting you on bed rest. A long flight could be catastrophic, the list of risks are extensive.” Her look of concern was genuine as she tapped a couple of buttons that would register Neva for the appropriate tests that needed to be done to confirm or deny what she suspected. Although Julia was pretty sure - this was arguably textbook. “I would be remiss if I didn’t urge you to consider changing your trip until after the twins are born.”  @bjorkncaddel

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐒 hesitated in answering some of the questions, which explains why she had a second or two to respond to them. She feels utterly bad for not having her husband by her side in this impromptu appointment. She did not want him to think she wanted to hurt their babies by sipping an alcoholic beverage. On the other hand, the Swedish is a lot overthinker, maybe she was worrying too much when she shouldn't. This is why she is here, to consult and ask for professional guidance. The blonde did not trust Google and didn't want to read about pregnancy in books, because she knew both sources would stress her out. ❛ I was advised to not be too active. My activities were radical. I did a few others that I was capable of doing. 'Soft' activities. Besides my first trimester was stressful for me, I didn't want them, and I was in a deep depression. ❜ The phrase sounded kind of bad, but she corrected it. ❛ I didn't want them now. I don't like unplanned things. It gives me a lot of stress. And I would like to this be our secret. My husband would be sad to hear it. ❜ In truth, she didn't want to have them at the moment, but her husband was so happy, and she knew what his desires were, and the thought that she was just like her mother haunted her mind, the fact she didn't want them. As she grew further with the pregnancy, she learned to like them. This was the first time she admitted it out and loud for a doctor. Maybe deep down, Ryan knew or kind of suspected it. This is a topic she would never bring to him, nor she reckons he would never bring to her. ⎯ Neva rested her back on the chair, and she thought she couldn't omit information forever. Her gaze dropped to her wedding ring, where she continued toying anxiously. ❛ Yes, yes, and yes to the majority of all the things that you said. I want you to know, that my babies will be born in Sweden, so I have a trip planned. ❜

As the blonde spoke, Julia noted down a couple of things on her iPad with the apple pen she had to go with it, silently hating the things because she was much more of an actual pen and paper person. This thing if you touched the wrong part it all would go mad - beyond annoying, especially when you were tired. “Okay, so did you manage to stay active at all during your pregnancy or is this something that’s been going on right since the first trimester?” Twin pregnancies were always harder on the body than single ones just because of the sheer strain they put on the body but that didn’t stop her from wanting to make sure there was nothing more going on underneath. “Have you had any blurry vision, sensitivity to light, shortness of breath, or swelling in your hands and feet?” She asked as she glanced up, wondering if there was a chance the woman had pre-eclampsia and her OBGYN just hadn’t caught it. @bjorkn

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐀 small ghost smile appeared on her delicate features upon the light joke about being rich. All this time she was being extra careful because this was her first pregnancy to know she could've ONE glass of wine? She hated herself for not asking it before. A hand rested on her baby bump, as she rested her back on the backrest of the chair she was. ❛ I don't know how to describe it, but basically, I feel excessive fatigue, and very weak physically speaking. As if I lost my physical conditioning. Before this pregnancy, I was very physically active. Also, I'm struggling to keep food. I have morning and night sickness, and only afternoon I can eat decent. Also, dizziness as if I'm about to faint. My OBGYN gave me medications still I struggle these days as if there is no effect working.❜ One thing the blonde also noticed was that she was getting more sleeper.

Julia could tell the woman was on edge, which wasn’t unusual because they so often were when it came to their babies, but that meant she had to put in extra effort to keep these anxieties at bay. Sitting down on the stool by the desk she used her feet to walk it over towards Neva, nodding understandingly while she spoke. “Being scared is totally natural, as is being tired, so I just want to reassure you about that first off. If I had a cent for every soon to be mother that came in saying that I’d be a very rich woman.” Joking lightly, not expecting the question about the wine but not letting that show on her face. “Potentially, it’s entirely possible that a glass of wine wouldn’t do any harm. Explain to me more in what ways you haven’t been feeling very well, I just want to make sure it’s not something that would be exacerbated with the introduction of alcohol.” She could just look at the chart but she wanted to make sure she didn’t miss anything, or if she did, that she consulted the woman’s OBGYN. @bjorkn

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐀 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 regretted going on this appointment alone. She was so used to having Ryan by her side in every consultation, but this wasn't one of their routine check-ups. Karma, for not telling him she was seeing a doctor. Fucking hell. On the other hand, she knew he would be so worried… She greeted the doctor by giving a friendly and delicate handshake before taking a seat across from her and putting her purse on her lap. ❛ Yes, that's correct. ❜ The blonde sighs deeply. ❛ I feel very tired and scared. I mean, I'm not sure if I want my babies to be born, because I'm scared of the pain. But I'm not feeling very well lately. And I want to ask, hypothetically, can I have a sip of wine? This whole thing of not drinking… It's driving me nuts. It is just a sip to kill my craving. ❜

Looking up from the chart she was reading as she headed into her next patient’s room she noted that they were there for a consultation regarding a set of twins that weren’t yet born, not that this was unusual. Sure the OBGYN team would be closely monitoring this too but she was no doubt brought in to discuss something to do with the actual baby care after they were born. Most likely in the event they came early so that everyone was on the same page. “Miss Bjork, it’s lovely to meet you. I'm Doctor Rebeiro.” She gave her a warm smile, offering her hand in greeting, beside manner very much switched on. “Well, I wouldn’t worry. Let’s just see what we have going on here. So you’re coming up to seven months - is that right? How have you been feeling?” @bjorkn

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 her trust commented about Doctor Ribeiro's excellent job, and she wanted the best for her unborn children. Normally to all doctor appointments, Neva goes with her fiance. Today, this is not the case because this is one of her 'impulses attack'. ⎯ The blonde came to ask some doubts. Once her name was announced she entered the room, introducing herself. ❛ Hi doctor, I'm Neva Björk. I heard a lot about your work, and I'm not really sure why I'm here. They aren't born yet. ❜ Fucking hell… This is starting badly.

@drjuliarebeiro

[ Midori Francis, cis female, she/her ] — whoa! JULIA SATO just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for THREE MONTHS, working as a PAEDIATRIC DOCTOR. that can’t be easy, especially at only 33 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit PEDANTIC and GUARDED, but i know them to be EXTRAORDINARY and PATIENT. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! 

Tw: Unwanted pregnancy, adoption, trauma

Julia wasn’t born wanting to be a doctor, she didn’t grow up playing doctor, but little did she know it was always on the cards for her. Pushed from a young age to focus closely on her academics she had two choices - doctor or lawyer, and in the end she chose the former. Her father was a well known cardiovascular surgeon and her mother one of New York’s top OBGYN, so it was hardly surprising when their only daughter was said to have her eyes set on medical school (Even if they were telling people long before Julia had any idea that’s what was happening.)

They tended to do that though. The pair of them would decide on something and before you knew it that was exactly what was happening, it was a control thing they loved to have, and it overflowed into every aspect of their daughter’s life. On the most part Julia was a sweet, normal child, she did well in school and didn’t make too many waves that drew extra attention to herself. With a select circle of friends - she was the girl you wanted to be in group projects with because it meant the ball wasn’t going to be dropped, you would have a finished project bang on time, and the lettering on the poster board would be impeccable to boot. Well if you’re going to do something you might as well do it properly, she knew the past of least resistance in her family was to excel so she didn’t put up a fuss. Just knuckling down to do what was expect of her. It wasn’t a miserable existence, did she get to go to as many social events as the rest of her classmates? Maybe not, but she never felt she was being deprived of anything. 

That was until she met and fell for Leo West. The two had been in the same grade for their entire school life but it wasn’t until they turned fifteen that their paths properly crossed and Julia’s eyes were suddenly opened to a world beyond her school books and music lessons. He had an freedom she had never been around before but wanted more of as soon as she’d been exposed, and it wasn’t long before (much to her parents disapproval) the two were dating. Julia’s first romance and it was a total whirlwind of infatuation and codependence they were inseparable and soon became a package deal. Even as she continued to study hard, it wasn’t with the same dedication that she’d had before and both the Sato parents started to notice, concern growing that this boy was turning their daughter’s head in the wrong direction. Not that they ever acted upon that thought - but they certainly made it known to Julia. Leo was due to go away on a year abroad once he finished high school and the Sato parents had already decided that this would be the end of their daughters relationship with him. And just like that he left when summer broke that year and Julia was back to focusing her attention onto her studies. 

Kinda. 

About three weeks later it was discovered that she was pregnant. A total disaster in her parents eyes the girl was made to go through with the pregnancy, hiding it for the most part thanks to her mother’s medical field, and the baby was put up for adoption the moment it came into he world. Never up for debate. Julia never got to hold it, they never even told her what she’d had. Instead she was just expected to go back to her studies as if nothing had happened without any kind of mental health or trauma support, and she did. But she was never the same. By the time Leo came home from his time abroad (which ended up going from one year to two) she had left for medical school so her parents didn't have to worry about the two of them reconnecting.

That was sixteen years ago and even after earning a place at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, a placement at Boston Children’s Hospital, and finally getting a job offer she couldn’t refuse back in her home town of New York, she still felt totally lost. So to combat it she threw herself into her work without letting up for a second, no time to think meant no time to hurt. At least with this career she could help children in a way she could never help her own child, but that didn’t stop her eyes from lingering a couple of seconds longer on kids that came in with features that reminded her of Leos’, wondering what had happened to their son or daughter. 

Wound tight, laser focused, a stickler for detail, and well overdue for everything she’d squished down to the depths of her soul and darkest parts of her brain to come bursting out, there was really no telling when this ticking time bomb was going to go off. 

hc + birth

HEADCANONS// ACCEPTING

I  think  theres  a  few  scattered  answers  for  her  on  that  so  i'll  break  those  down.  or  i'll  attempt  to…

BIRTH  (  medically  );  it's  another  procedure  she  believes  isn't  taken  as  seriously  as  it  should  be.  she  was  trained  as  any  medic  would  be  while  serving  but  she  didn't  actually  imagine  she  would  be  using  this  skill.  she  genuinely  thought  it  would  be  a  simplistic  (  and  horrifying  )  as  tournoquits,  field  procedures  and  stabilization.  but  when  she  was  dropped  into  zones  that  required  extra  humanitarian  aid,  it  was  something  she  had  to  do  and  i  think  it  was  an  absolute  shock.  you  can  say  you  understand  that  not  every  place  in  the  world  has  the  same  access  to  medical  care  but  when  it  was  right  in  front  of  her  in  a  hostile  zone,  you  can't  ignore  it.  she's  delivered  babies  unsure  of  what  happens  to  the  mother  and  baby  once  they  leave,  and  that  gets  brought  back  home  with  her.  those  are  the  moments  that  stick  with  her,  and  it  becomes  an  advocacy  point  within  her  profession.  if  someone  comes  into  the  ER  ready  to  pop,  she's  in  there  very  calmly  and  focused  on  providing  the  best  care  with  the  best  equipment  that  simply  wasn't  a  luxury  in  a  war  zone.  the  matter  of  care  for  women,  in  particular  within  the  medical  system,  is  abysmal  at  best.  the  most  dangerous  thing  a  woman,  or  any  person  with  the  potential  to  give  birth,  can  do  is,  in  fact,  become  pregnant  and  give  birth.  alternatively,  anyone  who  comes  from  a  state  where  abortion  isn't  legal,  she's  working  with  efficiency  and  empathy  to  make  certain  the  CHOICE  is  exercised  and  they  are  in  control  of  their  reproductive  health.  while  i  have  not  written  her  verse  in  its  entirety,  she  would  certainly  be  volunteering  days  and  free  time  to  women's  clinics,  shelters,  veterans'  hospitals  and  planned  parenthood.  this  is  an  aspect  she's  willing  to  go  to  jail  for  or  be  reprimanded  for.

BIRTH  (  personally  ):  in  saying  all  this,  it's  still  something  she  wants  for  herself.  she  loves  children,  and  her  instincts  to  nurture  are  incredibly  strong,  but  she  doesn't  ever  imagine  it's  something  she  will  get  to  do.  the  process  itself,  she  would  probably  approach  as  very...clinical  and  almost  obsessive  in  how  she  suddenly  takes  better  care  of  everything  within  herself  because  she  has  a  soul  bound  responsibility  to  her  unborn  baby.

Leyla's smile brightened as the other woman confirmed with her hand what she had suspected. Though she wasn't so sure about having kids herself, she did love seeing the joy in others who did want it. "That would be great, I'm actually working on having some of the local musicians come play for a night of live music. I think that would make a great date night. Do you mind if I ask when you're due?"

Accepting her hand and shaking it, she said, "nice to meet you, Alice. I'm Leyla. I really do hope we get to know each other better." It still amazed her how kind everyone was here, she wasn't exactly familiar with the small town dynamics. "Will you really?" She asked, again surprised by the hospitality of this place. "That would be wonderful!" Finishing pouring the drink into a glass, she added the finishing touch of a sprig of fresh basil before placing it down in front of her newest regular.

Alice smiled and nodded. “Well, thank you,” she grinned. “I’ve gone to taking a liking to these mixed drinks without them being spiked,” she said, placing a hand on her bump with a small smile. “I’m excited to discover the menu! Maybe I’ll bring my boyfriend with me next time,” she grinned.

She nodded quickly. “I remember,” she chuckled, adjusting herself more comfortably in her seat. “Alice,” she introduced herself, with a warm smile, holding her hand out. “I write for the local paper. I will definitely spotlight Mawk Tales,”