Glancing At The Woman Who Appeared Quite Pregnant, Zahra Hurried To Shake Her Head. She Couldn't Possibly

She listened quietly, staring at him with the sort of intensity people often found quiet eerie. She couldn't really say no after he had been so kind. "You can come as long as you don't ask about the books." She didn't mean to sound quite so tense but she really did not want to be discussing anything related to her work. Some people said talking to a stranger could be helpful as you didn't really have to fear the sort of judgement friends and family could pass, but the shame was just way too much. It acid rise to her throat, causing very real nausea. Maybe eating wasn't such a bad idea. "Yeah, come on. I know a place just around the corner."

"I'm new to the city..." He started, hoping to prevent her to walk away from him. "and my co-workers sort of see me as their boss, which I'm not, I don't pay their salary." He shrugged. "But everyone scatters around when it's lunch time. I'm a little tired of eating alone. Could I join you, perhaps?" Matt tried. It wasn't really a bit he was doing, it was the truth. Most of his friends stayed behind in LA and he knew very few people here in the city. "You can tell me about your books or anything you want." He offered with a shrugged.

Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha (1922)

If there was one thing Zahra excelled at, it was listening. Sure, her neutral expression could make her seem indifferent or not all that engaged, but she truly did listen, intently and without the need to interrupt. "You're good. Don't worry about it," she assured. It was clear they were going through something and she didn't want to pry. She would've hated it if she had been in their position. "I hope you find what you're looking for. That feeling of home." She had always been good at adapting to her surroundings and finding little things that made her feel like a part of something bigger than herself but that didn't necessarily mean she knew what made a place feel like a home. Still, New York City had treated her well and now that she was back, she couldn't imagine leaving any time soon.

"We're here," she announced once they reached their destination. "I think it's more of an Irish place, but certainly closer to a British pub than the last place. Good beer, too."

Theo blew smoke away from her after sucking in some from their cig, listening to her carefully, their eyes trained on her as she talked. "Home can be a lot of things. Not necessarily a place. Something or someone you want to come back to. That can be a house, your family, a significant other." They shrugged as they explained. "For me, it would be a person but right now, I don't feel like I have a home to go back to." Theo paused for a moment before they let out a chuckle. "Shit, sorry, that got too deep. Anyway, I'm here for work and yeah, I don't particularly like it, honestly."

They took another drag from their cigarette as they walked next to her, their other hand slipping inside the pocket of their jeans, looking around the city around them that people seem to fall in love with so quickly. They weren't that impressed by it.

While tall and wiry, Zahra had never been the athletic or muscular sort. If anything, her height was of the lanky type, all long limbs and sharp edges. Evidently that was not the case with this stranger who seemed to have no problem carrying the mammoth bag. "Just inside, thank you. I need to return them."

The woman looked down at the bag and picked it up with a perfect ease, the weight not at all a bother for the huge woman. Hazel looked down at the bag and then to the smaller woman before her "Sure, so where do you want it?" she asked casually with a little shrug.

"Just a shot of Jack Daniel's. Or with ice if you're feeling real adventurous." She wasn't a whiskey connoisseur by any means but the fact that it was ordered in large quantities by the patrons mean that the same bottle didn't linger behind the bar for too long. She nodded as the other introduced themselves, tempted to roll her eyes at the question but deciding against it at the last moment. "Zahra. Yeah, I guess I do. You don't though. Haven't seen you before."

Theo hummed at the question since they hadn't considered it for a week night but, honestly, they'd take anything at this point to wash down the taste of the piss poor beer. "Fuck it, what's your poison?" They asked and flagged the bartender again. "Two of what... she?" their eyebrow rose in question. "is having," they finished towards the bartender and turned back their new companion. "I'm Theo, come here often?" a playful smirk at the overused line but hey, it was a good conversation starter.

She simply nodded along for a moment, carefully weighing her next words. Like most people, she had experienced relationship problems in the past, both platonic and romantic, but she had never been in Ryan's position, let alone had any real understanding how Neva felt. It had to be tough for the both of them, and Zahra did not want to cross any boundaries or be one of those people who offered unhelpful advice on something she simply did not understand. "I'm sorry. Sounds rough," she finally commented carefully, "but I'm sure you two will figure it out. It's probably just growing pains and those usually ease with time." Of course that wasn't always the case but Zahra was not about to remind Ryan just how sticky these things could get. She was certain he knew that already. Besides, she had enough on her plate and was in no position to act like she had it all figured out. Her problems were smaller, sure, but had lately felt almost all-consuming. "I'm sure I don't," she admitted with astonishing honesty before shaking her head. "I am excited. It's just... I guess I wish I were more excited. I should be more excited."

—he put the bag on the desk and the librarian looked at him, eyes widening for a moment. “worse,” he admitted, turning back to Zahra, making a face. “it’s my fault,” and then, he turned to her, gently shaking his head, “no, no…” he reassured her with a smile, he appreciated the interest after all. “I haven’t,” he responded in a matter-of-fact tone, laughing a little. there was, essentially, very little he could do until his leave started, and that wasn’t for another more week ( which was also filled with shifts ). “it’s just…man, she is stubborn,” he laughed, “and pregnancy doesn’t help, you know?” he added in a lighter tone; he knew they had kinda talked things over, but still, it didn’t change the fact; he should better learn from that mistake —for future reference. but he was a little glad the topic shifted to her once more as she responded to his question, and he did notice the pause was a little longer than usual, but he didn’t want to ask further. “dare I say you don’t sound that excited?” he was used to Zahra always being willing to share her knowledge when presented the chance, and damn she was smart and so well-versed on her subject, it was kinda weird seeing her being a little…unenthusiastic about it.

While she had never been great at accepting help, Zahra was grateful she had run into Julia, and even more grateful she seemed to be more than willing to offer a helping hand. "Thank you," she sighed, still catching her breath.

Zahra pulled an amused face at Julia's suggestion. "That's not a terrible idea. Although I hope I won't have to do this sort of a walk of shame anytime soon." Yes, she could have made multiple trips to the library, but somehow that had sounded even more laborious before she had actually started her perilous journey. Now she wholeheartedly regretted making said decision. "But I will definitely keep that in mind if I do end up in a similar situation." Glancing at Julia, she managed a brief yet knowing smile. "I see you're leaving empty-handed."

Julia didn’t know Zahra well - they were both in the library together on multiple occasions seemingly browsing or reading the same section, meaning she recognised her face as they came across each other at the door of the public library. As for judging her for this many books? That would be the pot calling the kettle black so instead she just gave her a small smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Here, you take one handle and I’ll take the other.” Luckily she didn’t have any books with her right now due to being on the way to pick one up, so her hands were free to attempt helping. Not that she was particulaly strong. 

“You need to invest in one of those wagons they put kids in to pull them along.” She joked lightly. @ofzahras

She grimaced visibly before nodding. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine," she hurried to assure despite feeling anything but fine. Still, it was none of this stranger's business and not something she wanted to burden him with. "It's just hot. It was quite the way to get those books here." Despite her resistance, Zahra did eventually sit down, the physical exhaustion catching up with her. "Thank you. I'm Zahra, by the way. Thank you for you help."

The change in her demeanor worried him immediately. He frowned and stepped a little closer but not too much as to invade her space. "Hey, are you feeling okay?" he asked, looking around the library. "Do you want to maybe sit down?" made a move to lead her to one of the chairs nearby, not able to actually grabbed her because his arms were full of her books that they hadn't returned yet.

Zahra studied them briefly, eyes intense as she scanned them from head to toe as if trying to come to a conclusion of some sort. "Plenty of pubs in NYC as well. You just have to know where to look. Some of them are real tourist traps," she replied with a shrug. What couldn't you find in New York City? It was easily one of Zahra's favorite things about the city, the sheer scope of options for activities, food, and drink. "That's fair." She had never liked those places either.

She fell silent for a moment at their question, then reached for her bag and stood up easily. "If it's good beer you want I can think of few places in the neighbourhood."

Theo turned to her a little, leaning closer to hear her better and paid attention to her every word. "In England, a place like this would be exactly where you'd find the good beer." They explained after hearing her. "The specialty places are usually full of posh twats that don't know what good beer is."

They gave their tumbler a last swirl before they down the rest of the whiskey, putting it down but their fingers linger on it, thumb stroking the edge. "Can I buy you a beer sometime in one of those specialty places, then?" Theo turned to her again with a bit of a cheeky smile.

"Oh, I'm sure. I have always enjoyed bickering with grown men who seem to think the only things worth studying are business and engineering. They never seem to like my research topics. It's great, really," she sneered. Despite the road block she had hit with her work, Zahra still considered the material itself fascinating; the lustre of academia she had once so enjoyed had simply disappeared. "Pancakes do sound good," she admitted, eyeing the options listed on the menu. While she was a decent home chef and could feed herself no problem, none of the things she whipped up were anywhere near gourmet. "Are you real hungry? I kind of want to order a bunch of things. Never been here before."

"Honestly the best part was telling people what my various research papers were on. Like, 'oh Violet dear what are you studying this month? Just animal mating habits. The gorilla were particularly passionate.' Always fun to see people's reactions." She said with a chuckle. She took a sip of her water. "But I'm sure it'll get easier once you aren't being graded. But until then, you know I'm your gal." At that point the waiter arrived and dropped off their drinks. Violet still didn't know what she wanted to eat. There were too many good options. "I'm thinking pancakes. What about you? Their eggs are good here."