Incorrect Band Of Brothers Quotes - Blog Posts

“ what the fuck, richard “

i hope this hasn’t been done before but it probably has

Shifty: i'm sorry, major winters, but today's been a hard day

Shifty: *takes two shots of milk*

Malarkey: I have 7 empty notebooks and no idea what to put in them, any suggestions?

Perconte: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I am taking suggestions from anyone, except you

Muck: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I'm taking suggestions from anyone, except from the two of you

Luz: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I am no longer taking suggestions

Lipton: Why is there blood everywhere? ? ! !

Speirs: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife .

Lipton: yoU STABBED SOMEONE! ! ?? ! ?

Speirs: No no, aggressively poked them with a knife.

more easy company men as tumblr shit posts because this is my only hobby atm

Webster: About a week ago, Lieb and I kissed .

Skinny: and?

Webster: . . .

Webster: I thought you'd be more surprised

Skinny: Oh sorry

Skinny: *in a shocked voiced* AND?

Winters: Are you okay and/or mentally stable?

Doc Roe: Sorry the person you are trying to reach can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep.

Winters: Doc, this is a verbal conversation.

Doc Roe: Beeeeeep.

Speirs: I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse

Webster: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Liebgott: It's not a joke! I'm a legit snack!

Web: I think you're over-thinking it.

Lieb: l think you're *under*thinkng it.

Toye: Luz, put on some pants or at least some really high socks.

Luz: Really high socks it is, then!

Doc Roe : Are you okay?

Babe: Yeah.

Doc Roe: Are you hurt?

Babe: No.

Doc Roe: *smacks him*

Doc Roe: Then what were you thinking

Winter: Lip, gather the others, we need to have another Luz-is-doing-somethlng-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-hlm-before-he-hurts-someone convention .

Babe: I lied to Gene. I told him I would leave hlm alone, but I will not.

Babe: I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support.

Babe, waking up at 12 am: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!

Babe, waking up at 9 am: IT’S STILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Webster: 👁👄👁

Liebgott: Webster, you arrogant slut.

Winters, on a hike with Easy Company: Wow, it’s so beautiful today! I love mother nature.

Nixon, next to him out of breath: MOTHER NATURE’S A WHORE.

Skinny: Living with Web and Lieb is so difficult. They be in their rooms yelling “I ATE THE DIVORCE PAPERS THAT’S RIGHT I GOBBLED THEM RIGHT UP” and i’m just supposed to keep quite & eat my oats like nothing’s happening

Luz: Do you think different laundry detergents have different tastes?

Babe: They do

Doc Roe: W-why did you say that with such certainty

Babe: I waved at a man because I thought he waved at me.

Babe: Turns out he was waving at another person. So, to get out of that situation, I kept my hand up for a taxi, which is now taking me to the airport. If you need me, I’ll be in Europe starting a new life.

Speirs: I've killed more people than I can count.

Speirs: Because I've killed a lot of people.

Speirs: Not because I can't count.

Toye: The lord gave me hands so I could punch a bitch

A random dog on the street: *sneezes*

Lewis Nixon: I’m just saying, if we need to replace the furnace anyway, oh hang on - BLESS YOU!

Webster: Because people are often buried in their best clothes, the zombie apocalypse would be a very formal affair.

Liebgott: If I die, I’m gonna be buried in battle armour. Good luck, bitch.

Easy Company Sleepover??

The chaos

Heffron: EYYY WHO’S STILL UP?

Toye: *squints* Well me now, dipshit

Guarnere: SHH I need at least 10 hours if I’m gonna look fresh tomorrow

Talbert: Ok, seriously everyone simmer down, let’s just sleep

No one:

Webster: …What’s the meaning of life?

Liebgott: cAn wE nOt??

Shifty: Guys pls be quiet or Captain Winters will hear us

Luz: Wait turn the lights on, I can’t find Malarkey!

Malarkey: I’m under the bed!

Skinny: What the actual f—

Muck: That looks so fun! *gets under bed*

Penkala: Midnight pillow fight! *hits Gordon*

Gordon: Ow! What the hell is in your pillowcase? Fuck, I’m bleeding!

Roe: *asleep*

Christenson: Shhh did you guys hear that?

Speirs (outside peeping in the window): be silent.

Skip: Oh please, you wouldn’t hurt a fly

Shifty: You’re right, because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however; I would maim.

Doc Roe: I just want you to know that if you ever hurt Shifty, I will hunt you down.

Skinny: And do what?

Doc Roe: What?

Skinny: Hunt me down and do what?

Doc Roe: I will hunt you down, and… probably… explain how hurtful your actions were.

Babe: I can explain.

Roe: Can you?

Babe: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Luz: Earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore is, technically speaking, a ravioli.

Webster: I am begging you to stop.