Haikyuu Crack - Blog Posts

Bokuto, looking at conditioner in the store: “Apply generously”? Interesting.

Bokuto, in the shower two hours later: HERE YOU GO HAIR. YOU DESERVE ALL THE CONDITIONER IN THE WORLD BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

Bokuto: TAKE SOME MORE, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT

Bokuto: I WOULD GIVE YOU THE WHOLE BOTTLE IF YOU WANTED IT

006 - get laid

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ex!suna rintarō x singer! reader

hello im sorry u haven’t uploaded, i just started senior year and i have to keep my average to be able to achieve a scholarship

i made an edit bc for some reason the first two ss didn’t appear, idk if i didn’t upload them bc i was falling asleep??

suna hasn’t slept with anyone since his last time with y/n which was a year and months ago, but he felt that if he did it he would betray her

he also genuinely cannot bring himself to find any other girl attractive, he hasn’t tried but even if he did, he will fail

i read a fanfic abt tsukishima once where he could only get it up (if ykwim) with the reader, when he tried to sleep w a girl it wouldn’t get up, and i love that idea so it will probably be the same for suna(that fanfic is also the reason why i love exes to lovers)

suna also never tried to get laid bc in his mind hes still y/n’s, and he always had his hopes of getting back tg, he had never thought about the fact that she probably would get over him

thats bc suna knows he will never get over her, so he didn’t think she would

guess who suna wants to get laid by

atsumu and osamu are not being rude, they genuinely think y/n got over suna already (even though thats not the case)

osamu used to really hate the idea of his best friend dating his sister and they both forgetting abt him, but after seeing how in love they were, he became their biggest supporter

the count of days is how many days have passed since their breakup

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @wooasecret @sonicsolos @dazqa @mfcherry @iluvhellokity @eclipticnikki @unhinged-atrocities @platimoonie @sp1ng @just-coreee @piopioo @sellomaybe @grassbutneo @toges-cough-syrup @peteunderoos @mfcherry @jaynawayna

@myromanempiree @jellysupremacy 

005 - 10 things i hate about you

ex!suna rintarō x singer! reader

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please ignore that i didnt crop the photos so u can see the actual time in whoch they were taken

theyre both accepting their feelings but it wont be that easy, i want this to be looooong

idk what to say for this chapter

the song that y/n “wrote” is i know you by faye webster

i started journaling and i use my pink pen to write stuff lmao

so i wrote the lyrics w my pink pen

only suna, tsukishima and her brothers know abt y/n only using her pink pen for songs or her diary, oikawa only assumed she was writing bc well she posts abt writing and then a cryptic message?

i added the little detail of y/n doing her a’s like the font instead of “𝙖” bc thats how i write my a’s LMAO

taglist (OPEN)

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @wooasecret @sonicsolos @dazqa @mfcherry @iluvhelokity @eclipticnikki @unhinged-atrocities @platimoonie @sp1ng @just-coreee @piopioo

004-fangirl

ex!suna rintarou x singer!reader

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HELLO NEW UPDATE, so i kinda forgot reader was a famous singer but i promise she will live the famous lifee

so, since atsumu is rlly famous he has found a lot of insane girls who would do anything for his money

y/n is in denial because she uses the hatred as a mechanism to cover the hurt

or well in more detail if she hates him then she doesnt feel sad or thats what she thinks

honestly i havent planned what their break up was but i have an idea and just telling yall everything could have been saved if they both knew how to communicate

tsumu and samu are really nice and lovely brothers to y/n

kei called bc y/n said she wanted to talk about suna and honestly he still roots for them

but y/n ended up mentioning him once and talking about a lot other stuff for three hours straight

ofc kei listened to everything hes a good listener but he wont admit that he doesn’t mind that shes yapping his ear off

as yall have noticed in most chapters just one important thing happens and the next is humor, i want it to feel natural and not too rushed and i also love crack smaus so yes

they call y/n kid and kiddo even though shes 8 minutes older than atsumu and 13 minutes older than osamu

taglist (OPEN) :

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @wooasecret @sonicsolos @dazqa

003-wattpad

ex!suna rintarou x singer!reader

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im not sure i like this chapter, also this is probs the only time theyll see each other for a while cause i love slow burns and i just dont want it to go too fast

so, kenma and kei def could go they just wanted y/n to go

suna isnt in denial anymore like y/n is, he knows shes the love of his life

i couldn’t not talk about matthew im so normal about him🩷

y/n used to get food for tooru or the whole team but she didn’t want to after suna joined the team

i love me a good slow burn enemies or exes to lovers with a lot of angst and then fluff at the end so get ready and i also love miscommunication LMAO

but also expect a lot of humor filler chapters bc i love crack smaus and bc i started this story impulsively and do not have it planned yet LMAO

im so normal about suna

also i got the idea of akaashi getting discounts from another au i just cant remember which one

taglist (OPEN)

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @wooasecret

002-clinically insane

ex!suna rintarou x singer!reader

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more of this SMAU bc i have no social life WOO

so apparently according to my past self neither osamu nor atsumu have ever been in a relationship with a sane person

they just like their girls a little bit insane

y/n loves flirting with omi even if he never reciprocates, she does it to mess with his brother

atsumu is 100% against her dating his best friend after seeing how it turned out when she dated osamus best friend

y/n hasnt visited the twins apartment in a year because shes scared shell run into suna

im trying to make atsumu a lovable brother, because everyone always makes him annoying and i love atsumu :(

osamu changed the topic to his ex on purpose, he knew suna would get really sulky if they started talking about y/n in a serious way

y/n is a bit cray cray but its okay cause suna luvs it

taglist (OPEN):

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai

001-kiss on the lips

ex!suna rintarou x singer!reader

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im so normal about suna and him being a simp

i love justin bieber reaction pics😭

suna has definitely had on repeat yns new song and probably it made him feel even worse cuz its talking abt how shes happy when shes away from him

everyone knows suna was like IN LOVE with yn except for yn

suna was planning on proposing after their college graduation like this man was ready to settle down

instead they had a huge messy break up and he hasn’t had any serious relationship even if the break up was a year ago

suna wasnt that sad anymore until she released a new song and he was reminded of everything again

idk what to say abt yn LMAO

btw if it wasnt clear last ss is suna messaging samu

taglist (OPEN):

@lvc-lv @renardiererin

hell habitants

ex!Suna Rintarou x Reader

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ITS MSBY NOT MYSB SORRY WAS VERY SLEEP DEPRIVED!

also i didn’t say this before but y/n has suna blocked everywhere, including roblox and spotify and GMAIL LMAOO

sakusa, suna, atsumu and osamu are roomates

suna used to hate tsukishima because of how close he was to yn

like he would get really jealous and insecure

like suna was sure tsukishima and yn were in love with each other and it was only a matter of time for them to realize it and for yn to leave him

i do not blame him, remember they even call each other platonic soulmates? well he thought the platonic part was temporary

suna and tsukishima are chill now, hes even yns only friend to follow suna on his priv

this is because ever since the break up tsukishima was the only one willing to hear suna out and turns out hes not as bad when youre not competing against him

but that doesn’t mean suna’s heart doesn’t sting a bit every time he hears the names y/n and tsukishima together

yn hates suna and suna hates yn but she was the love of his life

suna follows y/ns main acc in his priv (secretly y/n follows rins main acc on her priv as well)

if yall didnt notice suna has yns merch site on his priv:(

Cell mates

ex!suna rintarou x singer!reader

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hello, new AU WOO

y/n is Atsumu and Osamu’s triplet

shes also Suna’s ex

the dividers are by @cafekitsune

tsukishima not so secretly secretly loves y/n a lot, there was even a time where they romantically liked each other, but they just felt like they were more friends than anything else so they decided to just keep being friends, they love each other and believe they are platonic soulmates

they all are roomates even if none of them really needs one bc theyre all rich

im sorry that this is so cringe, im doing this for fun

Oikawa is part of the MYSB here bc i say so LMAO

HAPPY BDAY OIKAWA!!!!

yes the song is happier than ever by billie eilish and yes it is about suna looool

also if no one noticed, everyone except for kenma who has his youtube link, have y/n’s merch website on their bio to support her and kenma would put her link if he could put more than one too <3

i put 5 followers on her priv acc forgetting abt atsumu and osamu omg im so sorry, ill change it

hi! could i request a managerial duties fic with the fukurodani team?

Hello :D You can!

I wrote this in a silly goofy mood, if you can't tell lolol

Enjoy <33

--

Managerial Duties: Fukurodani

Being a manager for Fukurodani Academy’s boys’ volleyball team was a bit like being the conductor of an orchestra that had no intention of following the sheet music. Between Bokuto’s mood swings, Konoha’s snark, and the constant low hum of chaos that seemed to follow Komi like a shadow, your days were never dull.

But somehow, it worked.

Maybe it was Akaashi’s unshakeable calm, or Washio’s quiet reliability. Maybe it was the way Sarukui knew when to reel Bokuto back with just a look, or how the other two managers—Yukie and Kaori—had learned to tag-team any brewing disaster before it hit critical mass. The team was loud, ridiculous, occasionally impossible, and you wouldn’t trade them for anything.

You’d been with them long enough now that their habits were second nature. You knew who needed water before they asked, who always forgot their kneepads, who preferred warm-ups in silence and who needed to scream themselves into the zone. You’d taped ankles, refereed arguments, restocked first-aid kits, and once used a mop handle to redirect a rogue serve mid-flight.

So naturally, the one time you stepped out of the gym to speak with a teacher, chaos found its way in without you.

The package arrived during warmups. A small cardboard box, scuffed at the corners, with your name written neatly on the top in permanent marker. No return address. No label.

Kaori found it by the entrance and placed it on the bench, assuming you’d handle it when you got back.

But Bokuto saw it.

He was mid-warmup, mid-laugh even, when something square and cardboard caught his eye from across the gym. Like a hawk sighting prey, his eyes zeroed in and he made a beeline for the bench.

Before anyone could react, he was already crouching in front of the package, fingers hovering over the taped seam.

“Bokuto-san, don’t—”

Smack.

Kaori’s hand came down on his faster than lightning, swatting his fingers away just before he could peel back the flap.

Bokuto yelped, more offended at being stopped than anything else, still pointing dramatically at the box like it had personally challenged him to a duel. He cradled his hand with exaggerated care, rubbing it as if he'd just been grievously injured. "Oww, what was that for?" he whined, lower lip jutting out. 

“It’s not yours,” Yukie said immediately, sliding in front of it like a bodyguard.

“Aw c'mon!” Bokuto cried, jogging over. “What if it’s important?! Or fragile?! Or snack-related?! I mean—it was sent to a manager, so it’s stuff for us, right?!”

“Then she’ll open it when she gets back,” Konoha muttered, clearly unimpressed.

“But what if she wants us to open it for her?”

“She doesn’t,” Kaori said flatly.

“You don’t know that!”

“You don’t know that she does,” Akaashi chimed in, walking past with a towel draped over his shoulders. “And opening someone else’s package is literally a crime.”

Bokuto paused, scandalized. “Wait. Really?”

“Federal offense,” Akaashi confirmed, not even stopping.

“Yeah, that’s like... a serious thing,” Sarukui added.

Komi nodded enthusiastically. “You could totally get arrested.”

“Or banned from deliveries for life,” Konoha threw in with a shrug.

“I think that’s made up,” Washio said, but no one contradicted him.

Bokuto groaned. “This system is broken.”

“I bet it’s mysterious,” Komi offered, grinning. “Like something cursed. Or magical. Or both.”

“It’s probably just more athletic tape,” Sarukui said.

“No, no, no,” Bokuto shook his head. “It could be owls.”

“Why would someone send owls to the school gym?” Washio asked.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Bokuto countered.

The entire team was crowded around the bench now, forming a semicircle of ridiculous anticipation. The box sat there, untouched, radiating unearned power.

Kaori had her arms crossed. “No one’s opening it.”

Yukie nodded. “Not unless you want to explain to Coach why you’re committing petty theft.”

“And a federal offense,” Akaashi added as he passed.

Yukie groaned. “Right. And a federal offense.”

Just then, the gym doors opened.

You stepped in, unaware of the tension until twelve pairs of eyes swiveled to you at once.

“What did I miss?” you asked slowly, eyebrows raised.

Everyone pointed.

“Box,” Bokuto said gravely.

“Highly suspicious,” Komi added.

Akaashi sighed. “Please tell them it’s not cursed.”

You blinked at the package. “Oh. That’s just the kneepads my uncle donated.”

Silence.

Bokuto looked devastated. “It’s what?”

“Kneepads.” You opened the box casually, pulling out a neat stack of new gear. “He runs a sports supply store. Said he had extras.”

“You’re telling me,” Bokuto said slowly, “I waited fifteen minutes to NOT see a magical owl?”

“Yes?” you replied, mildly confused.

“…I mean, that’s cool too, I guess,” he muttered, thinking about it for a second. Then, as if deciding he could live with the outcome, he gave a small nod, still pouting a little. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay with this.”

Washio nodded. “I like kneepads.”

You grinned. “Good. Because there’s enough for all of you.”

One by one, you handed the kneepads out, and the team eagerly grabbed their pairs, excitedly comparing colors and sizes before jogging off to try them on over their uniforms. Bokuto was already halfway across the gym, yelling something about testing them with a jump serve.

You turned to find Yukie and Kaori standing off to the side, arms crossed.

“So,” you said, raising an eyebrow, “they were debating what was in the box, and the majority vote was a magical owl?”

Kaori rubbed her face with both hands. “Don’t even ask.”

Managerial Duties: Karasuno Pt. 2

Practice was in full swing.

The gym pulsed with life—shoes squeaking, volleyballs echoing like thunder against arms, and shouts bouncing between walls and bodies. Every member of Karasuno was locked into their rhythm, sweaty and determined, moving like cogs in one beautifully chaotic machine. Even Tsukishima and Kageyama hadn’t snapped at each other in a full ten minutes. A miracle.

You stood just off-court, your well-worn notebook tucked under your arm, scribbling quick notes with your favorite pencil. It was smudged with graphite and bite marks from weeks of you chewing the eraser, but it had personality. The court rotations were finally clicking, and Daichi had asked you to track when fatigue set in for Hinata.

Yachi stood a few feet away, stopwatch in hand, glancing nervously between you and the court like she could already feel a storm brewing. You didn't blame her. You'd been with this team long enough to sense disaster. And it was always when things were going too well.

On the court, Kageyama and Hinata were locked in a rally that looked more like a battle. Kageyama’s sets were razor sharp, and Hinata—well, Hinata was grinning like someone had just given him permission to fly.

You looked down to scribble a quick note when your pencil slipped through your fingers.

It bounced once against your shoe, then rolled straight onto the court.

“Seriously?” you muttered, bending to grab it.

One foot stepped just slightly over the line. Just enough.

And from across the gym, like the harbinger of doom:

“Kageyama! Toss me something crazy!”

You looked up.

Hinata was airborne. Silhouetted in the gym lights. Hair tousled, arm cocked back, grinning like a man possessed.

Oh shit—

CRACK.

The volleyball connected square with your face before you could flinch. Pain exploded behind your eyes. Your feet left the floor—literally. Your notebook flung into the air like a paper bird.

You hit the ground with a full-bodied thud. Hard.

Silence followed. Absolute and deafening.

Then—

“OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!” Hinata shrieked, rooted in place like he'd just committed an unforgivable sin.

“Hinata, you dumbass!” Kageyama barked across the court, the set still lingering in his hands.

Tanaka skidded to a halt next to you, eyes wide. “You flew!”

“Like three feet off the ground!” Noya yelled, already by your side. “I haven’t seen airtime like that since that one pancake save!”

“Shut up!” Daichi barked as he sprinted over.

“Tanaka, Noya—back off!” Sugawara snapped, dropping to his knees beside you.

You blinked, dazed. Your head was throbbing, your ears ringing, and your face—oh god, your face hurt like hell. When you touched your nose, your fingers came away red.

“Oh, cool,” you muttered. “Nosebleed.”

Kiyoko was suddenly there, calm and terrifyingly efficient. She didn’t speak. She simply pressed tissues against your face with steady fingers, her other hand gently cupping your jaw to keep you from tilting your head back.

“Don’t move yet,” she said softly.

Yachi was crying. Not loudly—just little hiccups of panic as she dropped to her knees beside you, clutching the stopwatch like it could save your life.

“She's bleeding,” she whispered. “There’s so much blood…”

“She'll be fine,” Ennoshita said gently, crouching beside her. “It looks worse than it is.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you groaned, trying to sit up. “Just give me—”

You braced your palm against the floor, feeling the coolness of the gym through your fingertips. Your legs shifted underneath you, muscles tight with tension but fueled by sheer stubbornness. Slowly, you pushed off the ground and began to rise.

For half a second, it felt like you had it under control.

Then everything spun.

The gym floor rippled beneath your feet, tilting like a boat on rough water. Your vision smeared at the edges—colors blending, lights flickering. A low, sickening throb pulsed behind your eyes, then rushed like a wave toward your temples. You sucked in a breath, trying to steady yourself, but your knees buckled sharply.

A startled gasp slipped from your mouth as your body tilted sideways, gravity pulling you down faster than your brain could keep up.

Sugawara and Daichi caught you in unison—each locking an arm around your back with practiced, urgent precision. Like bodyguards. Like anchors.

“Okay, no,” Sugawara said, breath tight as he shifted his stance.

“Absolutely not,” Daichi echoed, voice firm as steel. “Sit. Now.”

They guided you back down to the floor as if you were made of glass.

Asahi hovered a few steps away, nervously wringing his towel. “Should we call someone? Get the school nurse?”

“She’s not on shift right now,” Kinoshita said, pulling out his phone. “Should I call the front desk?”

“Can’t we just carry her?” Narita asked, eyes wide. “I mean—not like drag her, but—gently?”

“She’s not a sack of rice!” Yachi exclaimed, clutching your notebook like it was her emotional support item. “We can’t just—lug her around!”

“I can carry her!” Asahi offered, visibly panicking. “I mean, if—if she wants. Or not. But I can! I swear!”

“No!” You and Daichi said simultaneously.

“You don’t have to drag her to the nurse’s office,” Tanaka muttered, half-serious, half-pouting. “We could just… y’know. Roll her in something.”

“Like a blanket burrito,” Noya added helpfully.

“Shut up!” came Daichi’s bark again.

Behind the main group, Tsukishima stood with his arms crossed. “That’s what happens when you step onto the court during a rally.”

Yamaguchi, crouching beside him, frowned. “She looks pretty hurt, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima shrugged but said nothing else.

“I didn’t mean to,” Hinata said suddenly, his voice soft, wavering. “It was just one more spike. I didn’t think…”

You tilted your head toward him, barely mustering a tired smile beneath the tissues. “Nice spike, though.”

He looked like he was going to cry.

“We should get her to the nurse,” Ennoshita said again, glancing toward the exit. “Even if no one’s in, it’s quieter there.”

“I’m coming too,” Kiyoko said, standing and brushing off her skirt. “Yachi, grab her bag.”

Daichi and Sugawara gently pulled you to your feet again, this time slower, with careful pauses between every movement. You leaned against them, breathing through the dizziness as they helped you to the door.

Behind you, the gym buzzed in confused silence.

“You’re too brave for this world,” Tanaka whispered with reverence.

“She’s got that dog in her,” Noya added solemnly.

“SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS!” Daichi yelled over his shoulder.

As the doors closed behind you, you heard one last frantic voice.

“I’ll bring a fruit basket! I’LL MAKE TEA!” Hinata shouted, his panic echoing across the gym.

You groaned. “Please don’t.”

I’m being greedy here,

but it would be funny if Inarizaki was trying to figure out if their manager has a secret admirer. With all the snacks, food and encouraging notes being given to them, but it just turned out to be their (platonic) girlfriend

No greed at all! I love it ehehe

Hope you enjoy! and thanks for the ask <333 I love doing these --

It started small. A sports drink left on the bench, a protein bar tucked neatly beside your clipboard, a sticky note with a simple Good job today! scribbled in neat handwriting.

You hadn’t thought much of it at first. Maybe someone had left the drink behind by accident, maybe the protein bar was a spare someone had tossed your way. The note? Probably just an afterthought. No big deal.

But then it kept happening.

Snacks. Energy drinks. Even small bento boxes labeled with your name, left in the exact same spot every single time. The notes became more frequent too—little words scrawled on post-its, ranging from Eat something before practice, idiot. to You better be drinking enough water. and Take a break before you pass out.

By the end of the week, the team had noticed.

And by the end of the next, they had declared a full-blown investigation.

“I’m tellin’ ya, this is definitely the work of a secret admirer.” Ginjima crossed his arms, nodding as if he were uncovering something straight out of a mystery novel.

Osamu, unimpressed, leaned back against the gym wall. “Or, y’know, it’s just someone bein’ nice.”

“No way, ‘Samu! This is classic romance material.” Atsumu leaned in, eyes alight with interest. “Secret notes? Snacks? Somebody’s tryna woo our manager.”

“‘Woo’?” Suna repeated, unimpressed. “Who the hell says ‘woo’?”

“You get what I mean.”

Aran, ever the voice of reason, sighed. “Maybe it’s just a fan. Not everything has to be a romance novel, guys.”

“No way.” Ginjima shook his head. “This is deeper than that. It’s been weeks. This is a long game play.”

Osamu scoffed. “So what? You think it’s some secret, undyin’ love confession?”

Atsumu nodded, smirking. “Or maybe it’s someone right under our noses.”

That’s when they all turned their heads toward Suna.

He blinked. “No.”

“You’re bein’ awfully quiet about all this,” Atsumu pointed out, grin widening. “Kinda suspicious.”

Suna didn’t even blink. “I don’t care enough to do all that.”

“Suspicious,” Osamu agreed, just to mess with him.

Suna sighed. “Go to hell.”

But the team wasn’t done. They spent the rest of the week staking out the gym, watching like hawks every time you left your clipboard unattended. They devised shifts. Shifts. They trailed behind you in the hallways, whispering conspiracies amongst themselves. At one point, they even considered interrogating Kita—only for Osamu to firmly shoot that idea down because “If ya bother him with this nonsense, we’re all dead.”

Their investigation escalated. They started tracking patterns—when the notes appeared, the exact minute snacks were placed. They cross-referenced schedules, trying to narrow down suspects. Ginjima even went so far as to create a messy suspect board in the clubroom, red strings connecting completely unrelated names, post-it notes containing unhinged theories.

“Alright, so if we rule out known variables—” Ginjima began, tapping the board with a marker.

“Did ya seriously make a conspiracy wall?” Osamu asked flatly.

“It’s called evidence, ‘Samu.”

“It’s called insanity,” Suna corrected, lazily eating a rice cracker.

And then, just when tensions were reaching their peak—when Atsumu was this close to breaking into your locker just to “gather more clues”—the answer came crashing down on them in the form of a very cheerful visitor.

“Hey, loser, I got your favorite snacks again!”

You barely had time to turn before a familiar arm was slinging around your shoulder, a plastic bag dangling from their other hand. The entire team froze. You could feel the sheer intensity of their collective stare boring into the back of your head.

Your best friend—your very, very platonic best friend—blinked at the awkward tension in the gym. “Uh. What’s with them?”

You sighed, already knowing where this was going. “They think I have a secret admirer.”

Your friend snorted. “Pfft—you? Please, who would want you?”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

Atsumu, standing dumbfounded beside Osamu, made a strangled noise. “You? It was you this whole time?!”

“Duh.” Your friend rolled their eyes. “What, you guys thought someone was trying to date them?”

Ginjima sputtered. “So—wait—you were just—just doing all this platonically?”

You deadpanned. “Yes. That is what friendship is.”

Osamu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Y’all are idiots.”

Suna, who had been unfairly accused, leaned back smugly. “Told you so.”

Atsumu looked personally betrayed. “Weeks—weeks—of stakeouts, of investigation, of tracking patterns—for this?!”

Your friend snickered. “God, you guys need a hobby.”

Kita, passing by without even stopping, simply muttered, “I told you all to drop it.”

Aran chuckled, shaking his head. “All that effort, just for nothing.”

Atsumu groaned dramatically, dropping onto one of the benches as if the weight of the world had just crushed him. “This is devastating.”

Osamu patted his shoulder. “Ya brought this on yerself.”

Ginjima, looking up at his massive evidence board, sighed. “Guess I should take this down.”

Suna, still smug, pulled out his phone. “No, keep it. I’m sending this to the group chat.”

And just like that, the case was closed.

Managerial Duties: Inarizaki

The gym hummed with the familiar sounds of practice—sneakers squeaking against the polished wooden floor, the rhythmic thuds of volleyballs being passed, the sharp whistles from the coaching staff calling out drills. Despite the usual intensity, one corner of the court stood out, where a first-year was repeatedly failing to receive a serve. Every time the ball came hurtling over the net, it ricocheted off his forearms awkwardly or skidded away in an uncontrolled direction. His frustration was palpable, his shoulders tense as he shook his head and muttered under his breath.

You had been watching from the sidelines, arms folded as you observed the way his stance shifted just before contact. His weight was off, and his timing was a fraction too slow—small errors that compounded into one big problem. With a sigh, you stepped forward, motioning for him to pause.

“Try widening your base a little more,” you instructed, tapping your foot against the floor to demonstrate. “If you keep standing so stiff, the ball’s just going to knock you off balance. Loosen up, shift with it, don’t fight it.”

The first-year hesitated before nodding, adjusting his stance as you had suggested. Before he could attempt again, however, a familiar voice cut through the air, dripping with smug amusement.

“She may be the manager,” Atsumu drawled from across the court, his golden eyes glinting with mischief, “but try takin’ advice from an actual player.”

A ripple of laughter followed his words as he sauntered closer, spinning a volleyball between his fingers. His smirk was lazy, self-assured, the kind of expression that made you want to wipe it clean off his face. You slowly turned to face him, leveling him with an unimpressed stare.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a PhD in receiving,” you shot back, voice laced with dry sarcasm. “By all means, Miya, please educate us lesser beings.”

The gym’s atmosphere shifted instantly. A few players who had been in their own drills slowed, turning their heads with interest. The rest of the team wasn’t going to let this pass unnoticed. Osamu, who had been idly refilling his water bottle, perked up from his spot near the bench, already smirking as he anticipated the banter that was about to unfold.

Atsumu’s grin widened, his cockiness unshaken. “Ain’t about havin’ a PhD. It’s about experience. And last I checked, ya ain’t the one out there servin’ in nationals.”

A slow, knowing smile curled on your lips. "You're right, I'm not. But then again, you spend all your time servin’, while I actually learned how to receive."

The reaction was instant. Aran let out a low whistle, Osamu barked out a laugh, and even Suna's smirk twitched slightly. Atsumu tilted his head, clearly amused, but you caught the flicker of something sharper behind his expression—curiosity.

“Oh yeah?” he mused, tapping the volleyball lightly against his palm. “Then how ‘bout ya prove it?”

The words barely left his mouth before the other players reacted. Suna, who had been casually stretching nearby, sat up straighter, his gaze flicking between you and Atsumu like he had just stumbled upon something far more entertaining than practice. The rest of the team quickly caught on, whispers and murmurs spreading like wildfire.

Atsumu ignored them, eyes locked on you. “C’mon, manager. Think ya can handle one?”

The challenge hung between you like a taut wire, the weight of every gaze in the gym settling on your shoulders. Most of them, you knew, were already betting against you in their heads. Atsumu was known for his ruthless, pinpoint-accurate serves, the kind that left even the best liberos struggling.

But that’s exactly what made this fun.

You exhaled slowly, reaching up to unbutton your team jacket before sliding it off in one smooth motion. A hush fell over the court as you folded it over your arm and set it aside. Without a word, you walked to the opposite side of the court, rolling your shoulders as you moved. Along the way, you grabbed a pair of spare knee pads from the equipment pile, sliding them over your track pants. Then, with practiced ease, you crouched into a libero’s ready stance, feet planted, knees bent, weight balanced perfectly.

“Bring it,” you said simply.

Osamu groaned, already sensing where this was going. “Don’t be stupid. Ya know his serves are hell.”

You didn't talk much, getting into the zone. "I know."

Osamu’s brows lifted. “You know?”

Atsumu’s smirk twitched slightly, something unreadable flickering across his features. “And what exactly do ya know?” But you don't respond.

You didn’t move, didn’t blink—just stared at him, completely unfazed, waiting for him to serve.

You rolled your shoulders, shaking out any stiffness, meeting his gaze. “That your serves are fast. That they’re heavy, deceptive. That if I blink, I’ll miss it. That you’re expecting me to screw this up.” You smirked slightly. “That about sum it up?”

A beat of silence passed before Aran let out a low whistle. “Damn.”

Atsumu tilted his head, his usual smugness fading into something else—interest. He bounced the volleyball once against the floor before catching it, eyes gleaming. “Alright, then. Let’s see what ya got.”

Aran crossed his arms, letting out a slow sigh. "This ain’t a smart move."

Osamu clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Hope ya like bruises."

The court stilled as Atsumu took his place at the baseline, rolling his shoulders before tossing the ball in his usual pre-serve routine. The tension was palpable now, a mix of disbelief and anticipation.

Most of them thought you were about to get wrecked.

"Ten bucks on the manager eatin’ dirt," Ginjima muttered, arms crossed as he glanced at the others.

"Nah, I’ll say she gets a hand on it but doesn’t control it," one of the first-years chimed in.

"I got five on Atsumu embarrassing her," another snickered.

"Idiots," Aran sighed. "At least bet somethin’ interesting."

Suna, however, leaned lazily against the wall, arms crossed, watching with a smirk.

“Put me down for a win,” he said, voice calm.

Osamu looked at him like he was insane. “Ya serious?”

Suna’s smirk widened. “Yeah. I’ve got a good feeling.”

Atsumu, unaware of the exchange, exhaled deeply before tossing the ball high into the air. In the split second before he made contact, everything seemed to slow.

Then—

A sharp, deafening crack as his palm connected with the ball, sending it screaming over the net with vicious speed. It was a perfect serve—fast, cutting, barely losing momentum as it hurtled straight toward you. Gasps rang out as everyone braced for the inevitable.

But you were already moving.

Your feet pushed off the ground with practiced precision, body reacting purely on instinct. Time snapped back into motion as you lunged forward, reading the spin in a split second, dropping into a perfect tumble to absorb the impact. The ball met your forearms with a loud thwack, and for a heartbeat, there was only silence.

Then, impossibly, the ball arced upward—clean, controlled, perfect.

It landed precisely where a setter would need it.

The gym erupted.

“What the hell?” Ginjima gawked, eyes wide.

“No way,” one of the first-years breathed.

Osamu just stood there, mouth slightly open before slowly dragging a hand down his face. "Well, damn. I should’ve bet against ‘Tsumu."

Atsumu, still frozen at the baseline, blinked at you in genuine disbelief. His mouth opened, then closed. He tried again, but all that came out was, "How—?"

A pause. His brows furrowed, his brain visibly short-circuiting. "But ya—?"

Silence. A deep inhale, then a third attempt. "There’s no way—"

Nothing coherent followed.

Atsumu looked genuinely betrayed by reality itself, struggling to reconcile what had just happened with everything he knew about volleyball.

You couldn’t help it—you burst out laughing. A sharp, satisfied sound, the kind that made the stunned silence in the gym even more ridiculous. "Oh my god, you look like you just saw a ghost," you teased, shaking your head.

You rolled your shoulders, exhaling slowly as you straightened up. "I played libero in middle school, and I still play casual games." A brief pause, then you nodded toward Suna. "We went to the same middle school. Suna knows."

Every head in the gym turned to Suna, who simply smirked, arms still folded. He let the silence stretch for a moment before tilting his head toward the rest of the team.

“So,” he said smoothly, “who owes me what?”

Before anyone could react further, a new voice cut through the noise. "What’s everyone standing around for?"

The entire team turned to see Kita standing in the doorway, his usual composed expression tinged with mild disapproval. The court immediately fell into silence, the players straightening unconsciously as if caught slacking.

"Uh," Ginjima cleared his throat. "Just—observin’ somethin’ important, Kita."

Kita’s sharp gaze swept over the court before landing on Atsumu, who still hadn't moved from the baseline, then flicked toward you, standing composed and unruffled. "Hm." His eyes narrowed slightly before he simply nodded. "Get back to work."

Without another word, the gym broke back into motion, though murmurs still floated around, disbelief lingering in the air.

With that, you dusted off your hands and turned toward the exit. "Alright, I'll be back."

As soon as you stepped past the gym doors and out of their line of sight, the composure you had held so effortlessly cracked. A sharp, searing ache radiated through your forearms, the sting of the brutal impact catching up to you all at once. You sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to cradle your arms like they had just been run over.

"Holy shit," you hissed under your breath, shaking out your wrists in a futile attempt to lessen the throbbing. Atsumu really didn’t hold back. The ball had practically dented your bones.

You glanced down at your skin, already seeing the faint beginnings of bruises forming beneath the surface. Yep, no way you were getting through the next week without feeling this.

Forcing yourself to walk straight despite the radiating pain, you took a sharp turn down the hallway and made a beeline for the nurse’s office.

"Long sleeves for the next week, it is," you muttered to yourself, resigned to your fate as you pushed the door open, fully ready to drown in an ice pack for the next hour.

ushijima really out here collecting lesbians like pokémon

Random Haikyuu Headcanons

CW: Swearing, mentions of private parts/genitalia

A/N: I genuinely had so much fun writing this. I love writing crack. This is one of my favorite things ever.

Atsumu sends inspirational quotes to Osamu when Osamu is having a bad day in order to piss him off more. Like the ones you see in TJ Maxx or in a white mother’s beach house. (Also he’s definitely gotten a virus on his phone/computer from downloading sketchy apps for fonts in order to enhance the experience)

Lev has gotten stuck in the net 

Hinata and Yachi read warrior cats as a kid

Noya, Tanaka and Yamamoto bark

Yamamoto’s Little Sister Akane hisses at people

Sugawara and Yamaguchi are constantly trying to set everybody up

Oikawa was a drama kid and has always wanted to be in a hallmark movie

Iwaizumi knows how to tap dance

Asahi firmly supports #freebritney 

Kenma sells random peoples feet pics online for money for games. Like he goes on google steals ppls feet pics, then goes to insta, looks at the people who like feet pics and DMs them asking if they wanna buy.

Aone doesn’t have any eyebrows because they got burned off

Shirabu has a gap in his bangs in order to not block out his third eye. Semi told him it was on the side of his head

Kageyama buys unpasteurized milk 

Sakusa has sprayed Komori with raid

Komori will poke holes is Sakusa’s masks when he pisses him off. Or will hide  all of Sakusa’s masks and only leave out ones with days of the week labeled on them.

Semi and Tendou have both been arrested for arson

Goshiki, Shirabu, Kyotani, Makki, and Kinoshita unironically refer to women as “females”

So does Ushijima but he also refers to men as “males” and I don’t want to fight him so it’s alright

Hinata doesn’t know what a prostate is

Osamu spits in Atsumu’s food when he’s mad at him. Better yet, if Atsumu has a slight allergy to something, like something that will only give him a small rash or hives, Osamu will put a little bit of that ingredient in his food so that he can’t taste it, but he still gets an allergic reaction.

Akaashi collects coupons

Bokuto wants an ass tattoo

Oikawa has his asshole bleached

What songs the Haikyuu!! Boys would cry to in the shower at 2am (Karasuno) fluff/crack

CW: Swearing, No angst

A/N: I was trying to find a fitting way to enter into the Haikyuu fanfic community and this seemed most appropriate. This lowkey got deep for daichi. I apologize if any part of this post sounds like one of Noah Centineo’s wannabe inspirational pinterest quote-eque tweets. It also kinda got less in-depth the longer it went on, I've been up for 28 hours going on three hours of sleep please cut me some slack.

Daichi: Daichi is the dad of the team, that being said unlike most dads (in my experience) I don’t think he necessarily tries to hide when he is feeling negative emotions from the team (his kids). He is a wonderful captain and encourages his teammates to express emotion in a healthy way rather either bottle it all up, or overindulge in the negative feelings in the name of “processing”. That being said, I feel as though because he focuses so much on his team and how to help them handle their emotions, he doesn’t really know how to handle his own. I see him as someone who saw a TikTok saying that you can’t cry to medieval tavern music, and that’s now his go to.

Sugawara: Sugawara Koshi, the mom of the Karasuno team. I feel that at this point it’s practically canon that Suga is secretly a certified hoe bad bitch, and so being a bad bitch he 100% watched the Hannah Montana movie and therefore would undoubtedly cry to the song “Climb”. I also see him crying to literally any song on Ariana Grande’s most recent album Positions, specifically “34+35”.

Asahi: Asahi would definitely only cry to actual sad songs, though Asahi could cry to anything cause he’s just a big softy like that, I also feel like he lowkey likes to be sad in a way. Really just likes to sit in the feels and process it ya know? So I would put him down as someone to cry to “You Said You’d Grow Old With Me” by Michael Schulte. I consider Asahi as a person who both really wants to be in a romantic relationship, and genuinely feels happier when he is in one. This leads me to believe that love songs would be his go to for late night cries.

Nishinoya: Noya would, without a doubt in my mind, cry to “That Bitch” by Bea Miller. Noya does a lot to make sure he always looks, acts and feels like the perfect libero. And so even when crying I have the impression that Noya would want to make sure that he knows he is still in fact that bitch.

Tanaka: Tanaka would cry to “Toxic” by Britney Spears (#freebritney). It’s just something about it I don’t know what, call it instinct but I definitely see Tanaka crying to that song. Or him and Noya and Hinata all crying to “Vogue” by Madonna and trying to do the dance to cheer themselves up.

Kageyama: Kags would cry to “She’s So Gone” from Lemonade Mouth. I think he secretly has a real love for every early 2000s-2010s Disney Channel Original Movie, and would keep a playlist just for when he’s feeling down so he can jam out. Would 100% know the whole dance to “We’re All In This Together”.

Hinata: Hinata would cry to “Mad at Disney” by Salem Ilese. This poor baby probably got his heart broken due to him having unrealistically high expectations and would just be pissed off and frustrated at the world.

Tsukishima: Tsukki would cry to “Daddy Issues” by The Neighborhood. He’s got that internalized homophobia (as much as I wish I had a shot with him there is no way he is straight) and distant older brother issue type shit. Also “When You Love Someone” by James TW, once again it’s the distant older brother issues.

Yamaguchi: Yams would cry to “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi. Another sweetie who would just really want to sink into the feels and cry about a relationship he never had. I hc yams as such a sweetheart but like at the same time his best friend is Tsukki so you know if anyone walked in he would wrap that shit right up and put on “thank u, next”.