Fictionfolk - Blog Posts

Thank you so much for sharing. In truth I was a little worried my post would not be well received, but I just wanted to let you know that even with the difficulties that you experienced, you still came out on top and became a remarkable person, not because of the pain but in spite of it. 

You are a wonderful person, and I am so glad to have known you.

Do Memories of Your Religious Upbringing Leave You Feeling Afraid?

Do you know the story of the city of sodom in the bible? You know, in Genesis 19? You know how angels warned Lot and his family to flee the city and not look back? How in the end they were riding out of the city as it was being destroyed, but the wife could not help but look back, and was turned into a pillar of salt as punishment? That story upset me terribly as a kid. It seemed so cruel, and just for what? That sick feeling in your gut that makes you watch on even though you know you shouldn't?

I mean, I know now why it upset me so much. I would've looked too. It's absurd--

Not the other wild claims that were preached to us, interpretations rather than written word, while we all sat there drinking in the words like they were absolute. It was the damn pillar of salt that got me, that just ate me up inside. I can't help myself, I have to look. Every time. It's a real damned if I do, damned if I don't situation and all my life I've been told this ache to reach into the unknown horrors is wrong.. at least until I moved, anyways.

How could a deity punish something as wonderful as free thinking? Or curiosity? These stories make me wonder where the real harm was, or was it just simply another story to inspire fear in the hearts of men from as long back as fear possibly existed.

I want to be divorced from the inner child in me that still deep down believes it, and is half is expecting to be  struck dead for breathing life to such thoughts

And then there's the thought that's just outside of my periphery of "Oh, well what would you do of you had that level of power, Jules? Hmm?" And that just makes my brain buzz with anxiety because I know I'd doom us all.

Do You Remember The Time You Got Lost In The Supermarket?

You were a child then, so your memories are muddled. Your perception is warped- of course it is. It starts off simple, with you wandering off. Or maybe you looked away for just a moment, and when your concentration was broken from what you were looking at, you suddenly found yourself alone. 

However you got yourself in this position, the outcome is the same; You've been condemned to an eternity of wandering aisles in hopes of finding familiarity where there is none, as the crowds of tall faceless- nameless strangers rush by, making you feel more and more claustrophobic by the second. You have no hope, it's been crushed into tiny pieces under the abstract concept of setting and its permanence. 

I would like to propose the idea that maybe, not knowing your identity but still being plagued by memories is similar to being lost in the supermarket. You feel as though you'll be in an endless free fall. I know it seems impossible to stop all of this confusion and frustration–

But this downward spiral doesn't have to be forever. We have a beautiful community, of those just waiting to take your hand and guide you out. I think the alterhuman community is a second chance for us to find ourselves. We've just got to be brave enough to admit that we were lost in the first place.

am the anon who sent the magnus archives. if it's anything the green you use is similar to the magnus archive's green. i don't personally think it's jon because you're posts doesn't read asshole like he is but well, i don't really know you in real life so who knows.

You know, it's funny. I have gotten a lot of suggestions for the magnus archives as of late, not just on tumblr but in other fictionkin communities as well. I'm going to lay everything out on the table and be completely honest here. I took a glance at the source material, and it felt like it might actually fit what I've been feeling. I made this blog with the intent of getting answers, of righting some terrible wrong that I have felt echoes of my whole life. I should be so thrilled that something seems familiar to me..

So, why don't I just listen to it? A part of me likes how so many people have suddenly come to my dms to tell me their experiences and memories related to their identities, and for a moment it's like we're sharing something together. They were all so nice to me. It feels like a genuine connection, if even for a moment- and I guess the feeling was so nice that I forgot the original thing I had sought after in the first place. 

So I have so many helpful suggestions saying to look into the magnus archives, and I'm scared if I roll the dice and happen to land on a source that I can kinfirm, it'll all go away. Or worse, that after so many people have suggested it, if I go and rule it out they'll be disappointed. 

I wasn't expecting to make friends, when I created this blog. Maybe it's selfish of me to want things to stay the same, or maybe this isn't even making any sense, but I really do appreciate everyone who has written to me. Does anyone else feel this sort of anxiety when they interact with sources they could possibly be from? Feel free to reach out.

Attention Fictionkin & Fictives of Tumblr, and Discord

I have a strange request that I have finally decided to put out there into the ether. I have found myself in the unique position of having strong feelings and possible memories without knowing the source, and this has been weighing on my mind for a while.

How this happened was that I viewed and interacted with a currently popular piece of media, which I related to and falsely led myself to believe that I was connected to that media in a way that I wasn’t, and then went on to join a discord server centered around said piece of media only to find that I was inserting myself somewhere I did not belong.

That being said, while I have learned that I am not fictionkin of who I thought I was, interacting with the many wonderful systems and individuals in said discord server has left me feeling that something there was familiar. The only problem is that some of the fictives and such that I interacted with were not all from the aforementioned source that the discord was created for, and I have absolutely no idea what set off this feeling. 

Now, if you haven't already scrolled away, here is where my proposal comes in– 

I would like to interact with some of you who are fictionkin, fictives, or have experiences similar to what I mention in this post. One such way I offer we do this is that you direct message me, or send me an ask in anonymous if you are uncomfortable sharing your blog name, just keep  in mind I will be unable to respond without posting the information you give.

If you choose to contact me, anything you share with me will be private and not shared on my blog. I will hold your memories, your secrets, your fears close to my heart as if they were my own. I will have a lot of questions, questions specific to whatever media you come from, questions in general about your specific experiences and your feelings pertaining to said experiences- so please be mentally prepared for a lengthy interrogation if you do. Some topics and main points in the last media that lead me to believe I was fictionkin of that material was;

*Horror 

*The feeling of being in a doomed timeline, and sense of dread. Like imminent death is irrevocably upon us, in mere days.

*A sense of crippling guilt. I feel as though I've gambled the very lives and souls of- not only myself, but of those closest to me. I want to remedy this, if I truly have created the irreparable damage that I feel so strongly

*A possible fourth thing that I'm holding close to my chest right now because it spoke to me profoundly and it just feels.. personal, in a way it shouldn't. It should be rather mundane and something I should be able to talk about and yet I can't. 

These may be helpful to take note of during our interactions, if you ever feel yourself lost on where to start. I possibly have one singular memory, but it was the tipping point on what made me realize I was not the fictionkin I thought I was, and so far I have not seen any matches in media so this may be largely unhelpful.

 Another suggestion on how we may interact is through fictionkin discord servers. If you are okay with the possibility I may not be from your media source, feel free to send me an invite to your discord server. This will be unfortunately a one sided relationship where I will be looking for information from you all but not offering to share any information about myself, because I am a deeply paranoid person.

I am overall uninterested in marring my perception of things with unnecessary biases such as feelings. That being said, I will be a model discord member, and be sure to follow all of your rules. Despite what I said above about not being willing to share anything about myself, if you are on an 18+ discord server and wish to invite me, I am willing to hand over verification information. 

If you are worried about how I will conduct myself in your server, I can have those from the last server I was in vouch for me if need be. If you are wondering  why I am so intent on finding my identity in this strange way, I need to feel like no matter what I've been through, no matter  what I've done, that there is an answer. If I don't have an answer, if I truly don't know, that just feels like death. I can't accept that. 

I know this post is probably a bit chaotic, and makes me come across as untrustworthy, so if you take a chance on me,  I thank you. 

Okay wait I just had an epiphany about my role here. Bear with me.

Was thinking about how many of us are demons, demonic, demon related and how funny it was that I’m vibing here amidst all these demons when I’m an exorcist in source.

Then I thought about my demon bf from the canon divergent memories and it clicked like. My best friend in system is a demon and I just vibe with these guys that be struggling with humanity and feeling lovable and I think that’s my role here.

I’m the demon bitches emotional support dog. Lmfao.

Do I??? Do I kin Barry fucking Blue Jeans from taz???? Fuck dude. Screaming crying throwing up in this Chili’s listening to the last episode of the stolen century arc. I cannot kin another hopelessly love struck dork.

Watch me split a Barry fictive, actually. It’s a perfect storm up in here of stress + hyperfocus. Someone end my suffering.

Still trying to remember how this site works but may as well send out a source call.

I’m Lavi from dgm and just looking for p much anyone. Hell, my source seems so dead feel free to interact if you even just know of it or want a fictive friend. We’re 25 so interact at your own comfort.

I’m chill with kins, fictives, doubles, all the words bc wow there are a lot of new terms I need to learn apparently.

I was/am extremely gay for Yuu and had an “it’s complicated” kind of relationship with him. Super cannon non compliant bc akuma were humans that made the conscious choice to give up their humanity for various reasons. 90% of the time other humans were just shit to them.

Felt homesick, decided to make a character sheet for myself. We be copin /lh

I'll update this probably

╔════════ Basics ════════════ ╠ Name: Kai Wanderwitt ╠ Earthly Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius ╠ Gender: genderfluid ╠ Gender presentation: very fluid ╠ Pronouns: any ╠ Orientation: demisexual, panromantic, polyamorous| ╠ Dynamic: astac (assigned stella at creation), sola ╠ Species: shapeshifter

╠═══════ Appearance ════ ╠ Height: Short king (like 1m55) ╠ Eye color: left eye is green, right one is purple (void magic infused); both change hues when his emotions shift ╠ Body Mods: sometimes they dye their hair; they've got magic-infused tattoos, all over that shift with life, they change hues depending on his mood; they've got angel fangs piercing (and some on their ears) ╠ Scars: two square in the chest, nearly forms an 8, one on the hip, and multiple littler ones ╠ Default form: humanoid; black crow wings; sometimes claws and dog ears. ╠═══════ Personality ═════ ╠ Green Flags: remembers little details about people they love; very in tune with animals ╠ Negative traits: a plan? what plan?; impulsive; self-sacrificing ╠ MBTI: ENP(-T) - Campaigner ╠ Enneagram: Type 4w5 ╠ Alignment: Chaotic Good ╠ Archetype: The Fool ╠ Tarot Card: The Hanged Man ╠ Crystal: Turquoise ╠ Animal: Dog ╠ Flower: Carnation ╠ Plant: Arrowhead ╠ Element: Fire ╠═══════ Tastes ════════ ╠ Favourite food: most teas and infusions, coffee; pasta with cream sauce with broccoli, pizza, french tacos ╠ Most hated food: red meat, belgian endives, cabbage ╠ Favourite color: green, purple, yellow, turquoise ╠ Favourite plant: weeping willow ╠ Favourite flower: birds of paradise ╠ Favourite scent: old books and coffee ╠ Favourite animal: bats and foxes ╠ Favourite weather: rainy days ╠ Favourite crystal: citrine ╠ Hobbies: art (performance arts are his faves), gardening, cooking, learning (folklore, history, science,...), phytotherapy ╠═══════ Health ════════ ╠ Neurodiversity: autism, adhd, borderline, bipolar, c-ptsd ╠ It's all autism??: stims a lot, echolalia ╠ Biggest Struggles: sensory issues; hates ticking sounds ╠ Disabilities: chronically fatigued, chronic back, hips and leg pain from one of said legs being shorter than the other ╠═══════ Magic ════════ ╠ Birth: / ╠ Magic's Origin: experiments "augmented" him (higher constitution) when they were a toddler; communed with the Void while trying to pull someone out of it ╠ Magic: illusion, light reality bending, bardic inspiration (influence emotions and the world with music/performance), healing, sees and senses souls/intentions/emotions ╠═══════ In World ═══════ ╠ Role in the Sanctuary: gardens, teaches some magic to kids, cooks, heals, maintains tombs, takes care of animals on the property ╠ Team: / ╠═══════ Picrews ═══════

╠═══════ Animal forms ═══════

╠═══════ Media!Kai ═══════

╚═════════════════════════

We always get reduced to our source except with our partner... Even our friends do it and it's really upsetting...

Sy doesn't like talking because he's reduced to his source but he's nothing line his source... Steve too... Billy was scared Dustin (our friend's) would hate him because their fictive are *very* sourcependent...

-c

Fictives and fictionkind deserve to be treated like normal people.

Fictives and fictionkind deserve understanding.

Fictives and fictionkind deserve to not just be reduced to their source if they don't want to.

Fictives and fictionkind deserve to have their feelings taken seriously.