Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
Nero: Ver- I Mean dad I got you a gift for Christmas.
Vergil: *surprised that Nero actually got him something.* what is it-
Nero: *stabs Vergil with blue rose* MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!
Nero: you know, I just realized something, you’re the reason I have a drinking problem.
Vergil: of course I am. I’m your father.
Griffon to V: trust me, I haven’t lead you astray in ten minutes
Y/n: I’ve never killed before
Griffon: *clears throat*
Y/n: that hasn’t tried to kill me, or bother me....or tried to marry me.
Griffin to V: hey I’m still naked. I’m always naked and you didn’t notice. Now you can never unsee it.
Vergil: y/n! Y/n! Grab my hand! As your future husband I command it!
Dante: Uh oh you shouldn’t have said it! *looks at Y/n* Here’s a hammer!
Fallen: demons bring nothing but suffering and trouble.
Dante: Nah I also brought booze.
Nero: Dante I’m afraid!
Dante: just stay close to your father!
Nero: that’s why I’m afraid!
Vergil: *saving Y/n from a demon* there I saved your life now I can go back to ruining it.
Over religious guy: I shall drive you out with these sacred tools.
Nero: you’re a sacred tool.
Vergil: *Slams the door to Devil May Cry open* Dante. The mother of my child is trying to kill me.
Dante: *Not looking up from his magazine* Which one?
Vergil: I know how to pick them....
Nero: *Watching Dante hand over the money he earned to Lady*
Nero: *leans over to Trish* So is Lady like his pimp or something?
Dante: *watching the news* Vergil was at the park today.
Nero: why do you say that?
Dante: the playground is on fire
Nero: what makes you think he was there?
Dante: I haven’t seen Verge all day and when bad things happen it’s usually him.
*Vergil walks in*
Nero: Hey, where were you?
Vergil: *walks by them* the park
Nero:
Dante: TOLD YA
Nero: are you going to apologize for ripping arm off?
Vergil: No but I will apologize for the condom breaking.
Little Y/n: feeling cute my delete later.
Nero: Can I have my phone back?
Dante: I want copies!
Nero: Dante dealt with my father who ripped my arm off.
Lucia: he dealt with my creator which I guess you can call a dad who made clones and threw me away to be a god
Trish: he dealt with Mundus who was like my dad I guess
Lady: he dealt with my father who killed my mother and tried to sacrifice me to gain power.
Nico: he dealt with my dad who abandoned my mom and I to become an angel
Nero: So does he hunt demons or deal with bad fathers?
Dante: *walks by* just call me the daddy issues man
Nero: I’m trying to find a good song for Vergil’s ringtone when he calls me so I can know it’s him.
Dante: *mutteres* “Fuck you” comes to mind
Dante: Okay Verge. Let’s play a game. Take a sip every time you see something stupid.
Vergil: *looks at his brother and takes a sip*
Dante: I hope you get fucking plastered and get robbed again.
Vergil talking about Y/n: I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I want to do something for them, but what?
Dante: Well, there’s the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep...
Dante to Nero
Dante: Verge you kinda remind me of Darth Vader from Star Wars. You know why?
Vergil: Because I am seen as the most feared man in both the demon and human world?
Dante: No. because you’re a deadbeat dad that ripped his son’s arm off you inconsiderate asshole.
Nero: FUCK YOU
Probably Dante
Kyrie: Ok there is a party and there are nine kids and only six chairs, what do you do?
Nero: Get three chairs
Dante: have them all sit on the floor
Vergil: Have them fight to the death for the right to sit on a chair....
Nero: NO!
Dante: Oh vergil! I’m both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your brother by coming in anyways! *breaks the door down riding Cavaliere*
Vergil: It was unlockced you fool!