Tyrion Lannister - Blog Posts

I think the thing that’s really striking about the got books as opposed to the show is the way Martin never shies away from how physically damaged everyone is left. In the show Tyrion gets a badass scar but in the books he looses half his nose, Briennes teeth are broken and a chunk of her face is literally bitten out. Theon looks like an old man, his body is completely wrecked -

But they’re still not beyond hope. Their stories don’t finish with the horrible things that happen to them, their scars and deformities, they go on, and it’s not pretty and tragic and romantic like a story

And that’s the whole point.

Every single book in the series makes a point about how violence and war is romanticised in literature and history and Martin makes his character a living testament to the reality of war, the ugliness, the trauma, and that depth is just another thing that got glossed over in the show where people stay pretty and everything that made the books special is watered down.

Let your characters be ugly. Let them get hurt. Let them be scarred, and watch them get up anyway.

au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.

tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.

around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.

arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.

theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.

ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.

jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.

cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.

robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.

sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.

robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.

tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.

at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.

with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.

at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.

rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.

Tyrion "the Kingslapper" Lannister

Game of Thrones Season 7 Character Poster

yet another ‘characters posing for a camera™’ case

this time with siblings of the previous generation

Just realized that if Tyrion will become Danys hand it will parallel Aerys and Tywin

Let's be real if Oberyn Martell was a real bi disaster he would be flirt with Tyrion like a madman because there is no way that any person that likes man doesn't find Peter Dinklage attractive

More people need to talk abt book jon and tyrion. I love them together. They even have a little inside joke between them. They like really hit it off ykwim.

Do you guys ever think that tyrion thinks that if he were not a dwarf he would spar and wrestle and do whatever brothers do together for fun with Jaime. But he isn't so they can't. That his father would've been proud of him. His sister would've tolerated him. But he is a dwarf at the end of the day. Maybe he could have a dragon instead.

When Tyrion said they needed a Master of Whispers

I actually expected Littlefinger to appear. Is that bad

ROUND TWO for YOU (not even sure if these all qualify as blorbos for u but i want 2 hear yr opinions on them): tyrion lannister, ned stark, and arya stark >:)

AAAAAA YES!!!!! THANK YOUUUUUU

I. LOVE. This man. He inspires me so much. He was definitely a big part of how I developed my guiding values during highschool. He's idealistic , even to his own detriment, but I really appreciate what he stands for. THEREFORE: a muse sent by the gods.

He gets "accidental" parental figure cuz of the whole...y'know...Jon situation fsjtsjg. He can do no wrong cuz he is STUPID devoted to his moral compass, and the adult in the room cuz he honestly felt like the only emotionally mature person in King's Landing most of the time.

I. LOVE. HER!!! She does SO many nasty things but she can do no wrong cuz she's MY crazy girl. She can stab and poison whoever she goddamn wants to.

Cryptid, feral, fish love me women fear me...you know our girl is bonkers. But she really do be my favorite ♥️ She's an unapologetic mary sue cuz it's INSANE the amount of situations she's survived. However, I not only think that this is narratively legitimate, but think that Arya's "plot armor" it is great for the themes/meaning and is actually a wonderful part of asoiaf. Arya ♥️♥️♥️

Unlike the others, Tyrion CAN do wrong in my eyes, cuz sometimes it's like. Really, dude? Nonetheless, I adore and care for this man. By the end of A Game of Thrones I knew he was worthy of respect.

He literally is SUCH an Angst Machine, and I think he's for real been perpetually lost (emotionally) for as long as the audience has known him. He's so...gah. He's so real. Shout-out to the times he gets bitter and nasty (A Dance with Dragons I'm looking at you). May he be feral!!

Also he's the adult in the room because, like Eddard, Tyrion really do be the only sensible person in the room sometimes.

Game of Thrones Season 7

When GoT finishes

Tyrion

Oh my god, I know this was a small scene but can we just appreciate this scene with Sansa and Tyrion. It is just so sweet and adorable that Tyrion shows this care and some what love for Sansa in what could be their final moments.

And just the small kiss he gives on her knuckle is just bliss. 

do u think jaime is the only one who (outside of wet nurses) picked tyrion up to comfort him? do u think he put tyrion on his shoulders to make him feel tall? did jaime run tyrions legs for him when he was having a bad pain day??? Do you think that, warped by cersei and tywin as he was, loves and cherishes his little brother? He doesn't see a monster that's his little buddy 🥺

Wait no wait wait hold on wait—

they are brothers. They love each other. They are best friends. They are the only ones who care about each other. Tyrion is the ONLY one who doesn’t want anything from Jaime, and Tyrion is the only one who truly loves Jaime. And Jaime doesn’t even know how much he loves Tyrion, as well.

They’re both emotionally crippled because of the trauma of their family. It doesn’t matter if you’re the Golden Child, First Born, Heir to Casterly Rock, or if you’re the monster who killed his mother and failed to uphold the family name. The burden is the same weight, and it’s so heavy that both of them were crushed beneath it.

I’m not crying. I’m fine. I’m fine. 🙂 I’m tot🙂ally 🙂 fin e.

Also yeah Jaime totally did physical therapy with tyrion sorry that’s canon georhshhe told me so

My reaction when a child uses "I won't be your friend anymore!" as a threat.

"Never forget who you are, for surely the world won't. Make it your strength; then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it and it can never be used to hurt you,"

Tyrion Lannister