Sve Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

Farmer: *can't find Sebastian in town*

Farmer: Dammit! I can't find him anywhere. This calls for drastic measures.

Farmer: *inhales and uses hand as a microphone* THE FARMER SUCKS!!!

Sebastian: *comes out from his room basement* THE FUCK-

Shane: *across JojaMart Bldg* DID YOU-

Sam: *crashes through the window using his skateboard* JUST-

Other Marriage Candidates: SAY!

Farmer: Eeek, that worked a little too well...

Other Townspeople: *others find this amusing, annoying or secretly recording the scene from the start and post it on their social media*

Farmer: *enjoying a peaceful married life*

*sees an attractive marriageable npc*

Farmer: I'm gonna do what's called a pro gamer move.😏

𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝟰 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝗖𝘀, 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗿𝗲𝗻:

Aleia

Before she fell down the shaft, Aleia accidentally grabbed on Wren's shirt and they both fall together. Ouch! That's gotta hurt. Atleast the floor they landed on are full of iridium ore and its monster free zone!

Rosemary

For Wren, she doesn't need to push Rosemary because by the time the red haired girl saw a hole, she immediately jump down with no hesitation. Good thing there's no broken bones or else another trip to Harvey's clinic and have to listen a tirade from her worrywart of a sister and boyfriend.

Cerise

Cerise immediately step aside, thinking its some monster pushing her down, she look just to see Wren about to fall down and with fast reflex grabbed her shirt to stop her fall. "Phew that was a close one. Are you okay?" and Wren just gives her the thumbs up.

Thalia

Thalia just grabbed on to Wren's collar and scream, "If I go down. You go down with me!" and they fall 15 floors down. Oof! Landed on with a few broken bones and look its an infested floor. Great!

wren pushes ur farmer down a shaft in the skull mines just to see how deep it is before she jumps in

Camilla: Isaac is okay.

F. Thalia: What do you mean okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause they gave me the mackerel eyes, they meant it!

Camilla: Thalia sweetie, Isaac threatened me. He even threaten your other farmer friend, Rosemary every day. They probably threatened Lance before dinner this evening. It's what he do. Grow a pair.

Farmer: Guys, I need your help.

Camilla: Love help?

Alesia: Financial help?

Lance: Emotional help?

Isaac: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Isaac*

Isaac: What?

How my Stardew Farmers meet Lance

Aleia: *finally reach the volcano top* Damn fucking magma sprites! *swats the fire out from her hat*

Lance: *appears*

Aleia: What the-! *points her galaxy sword at Lance, thinks his an enemy* Who are you?

Lance: Not to worry, Aleia. I'm just a friend.

Aleia: You know my name?

Lance: Yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Aleia. Marlon speaks highly of your caliber as an adventurer.

Aleia: *laughs* Marlon does love to tell a good story.

🍎

Rosemary: *too tired to even bother once she reached the top volcano*

Lance: *appears*

Rosemary: *groans in frustration and chucks a bomb at Lance thinking its a monster*

Lance: *uses levitation to stop the bomb landing on him, chuckles* Rosemary, calm down. I'm just a friend.

Rosemary: *snaps out of it* Oh shot! I'm sorry! I thought your just some monster like the ones from the volcano dungeons.

Lance: Understandable. *chuckles* Few adventurers have scaled Mount Kohldur, once a great dwarf kingdom. Your achievement is a testament to your ambition and perseverance.

Rosemary: Well it was hard to get passed through those monsters.

🌺

Cerise: *reach the top volcano, after passing all the floors with ease*

Lance: *appears*

Cerise: *with instinct, throws a galaxy dagger at him*

Lance: *blocks it with a magic shield, chuckles* Fast reflexes. Impressive

Cerise: You must be Lance. My sister talks about you.

Lance: She does?

🌼

Thalia: *reach the top volcano a bit unscathed, eats icecream to replenish her health* Finally I'm here!

Lance: *appears*

Thalia: *eyes narrowed, hands clinch to her weapon* Wait. Aren't that hot guy from the volcano. That my friend, Rosemary talks about.

Lance: *chuckles* I did meet her at this very volcano, yes. I hope I'm not startling you.

Thalia: Meh

~IsaacXFarmer on a date, after SVE 2.0~

Farmer: *gives a bouquet to Isaac* Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you.

Isaac: Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Farmer: Just take the damn flowers.

After SVE 2.0 Update...

Isaac: Look I'm not in love with Farmer. I like them just as much as that next monster I killed.

Lance: .... ಠ◡ಠ

Isaac: I mean, I clearly have feelings for them, but feelings don't mean love.

Jadu: .... ಠಿ_ಠ

Isaac: Do I have feelings for Farmer? Sure! But that doesn't mean that I.... I-! Oh mygawd! I'm inlove with Farmer!

Alesia: .... (눈‸눈)

Isaac: *slams desk* Why didn't you tell me!

Lance: *chuckles* We thought you knew.

Isaac: Wha-! WE!? (●__●)

Camilla: We all knew. We talk about it all the time. (๑¯◡¯๑)