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2 years ago

Cody's Best One-Liners

There’s a piece of flimsi tacked to the wall, unassuming in a way that is casually acute and altogether too smug. The letters loop gracefully, but they point at the ends like a lighthearted jab.

Which, naturally, they are, because at the top of the flimsi in Obi-Wan’s dry-humored handwriting is written “Cody’s Best One-Liners.”

Cody never knows whether to laugh or grimace or roll his eyes, but for the life of him he doesn’t have the heart to take it down.

So it grows, an entry popping up every few days with the same amused devotion that plays in the twitches of the Jedi Master’s beard.

“Maybe a cough drop would do it.” And the admirals had glowered, but Obi-Wan hacked out a strangled laugh and suggested that perhaps, indeed, General Grievous could be persuaded to negotiate.

“If you leave them alone they’ll be glued together by the time anyone gets back.” Boil looked affronted, but Waxer had covered giggles behind his hands while Boil’s mask melted. They snorted, identically, and even the shinies had laughed.

“No need to call the demolition crew. Rex’s guys will take care of it.”

“You’re not confused, sir, you’re just wrong.”

“Wolfpack’s late again - I suppose General Koon really is serious about that parental quality time thing….”

“You are not excused from eating your rations unless the Force feeds you, which is exactly what I will do if you don’t.”

Obi-Wan takes great pleasure in adding to it. He saunters up to the flimsi almost lazily, a pen between his fingers, a loose grin coloring his cheeks, and pointedly does not look at Cody when he makes his little expansions. He just smiles, somewhere between stupid and knowing. It’s insufferably affectionate, and it drives Cody half-mad.

It’s safely in their joint apartment, the one the Jedi and the Marshal Commander accidentally share, so it’s not like someone will stumble in to see it. A private joke.

But Obi-Wan’s other great pleasure comes from dropping hints about it. “We ought to write that one down, Commander,” he’ll say, or “how I wish I were inspired enough to make even half of Cody’s quips.”

Most embarrassingly, he introduces them both to the new batch of shinies with “don’t be fooled by Cody’s formidable exterior. Our dear Commander has quite the sense of humor….” which makes Cody glad for his bucket. Wooley excuses himself and steps a safe distance away, where undoubtedly he can laugh without the shinies knowing.

But Cody looks back at it and can’t help feeling warm.

He sits on the tiny couch they share, in the common room between their separate bedrooms. There’s movement on the other side of the thin wall - Obi-Wan must be in the ‘fresher. His datapad is held in his lap; a cup of caf steams on the wobbly end table beside him.

Obi-Wan comes through the door, a cup of warm tea pressed into his palm, and settles next to Cody on the couch. The drink is herbal, subtle, a vaguely floral sweetness. There is something stronger underneath, solid and quietly bright.

“Cassius?” the commander asks, and cants his head towards the mug.

The Jedi hums. “The Mandalorians say it brings good health.”

Cody looks up, a wry smile and raised eyebrows and a soft tease. “I hope so, considering your vendetta against a full night’s sleep.”

Obi-Wan throws his head back and laughs, comfortably surprised. The sound is effortlessly joyful, and Cody wishes for that kind of peace. The general seems to carry it inside of him, as if it is woven into the essence of his flesh, his clothes, his beard, into the crabbed, gentle elegance of his handwriting.

Obi-Wan fumbles for a pen.

*******

212th for 212? More coming soon, hopefully :)

I wrote the beginning of this piece a few weeks ago and ran right into a wall. It took some effort to finish, but I do love this idea. If anyone's seen this post, yeah. I will never get over Cody's dumb f**king banter. Or Cody, in general.

I will, therefore, leave you with an alternate one-liner that *almost* made it in here. Wolfpack's late again - though I would be too if I had to organize a platoon's worth of Father's Day gifts for General Koon.

TBOBF in 3....

2....

1....

taglist: @sexy-rex @artemis98 @handsignals @ladysongmaster @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom


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2 years ago

212TH ONE-SHOT

@metalhusbands :one of the clones gets stuck in a vent - chaos insues

As you wish!!!!

(got the idea from @212th-chaos and @obiwanshusband tooka chaos)

---------

"What do you mean it's IN the vent?!?!" Cody practically yelled, throwing his arms up in exaggeration.

Waxer bowed his head, hiding his hands behind his back. "I didn't realize the vent cover was off so it sprinted towards it, I tried to grab it and it bit me and disappeared…"

Cody pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a drawn-out sigh. "There's a tooka loose in the ven- wait did you say it bit you?"

Waxer shrugged, still hiding his hands. "It's not that bad, sir."

Cody gave him an unbelieving glare. "Nice try. Med bay. Now," He pointed down the hall. "I'll go find someone to help find the damned thing."

Waxer nodded, heading towards the medbay as Cody started towards the barracks.

As the Commander got closer, he could hear laughing and yelling coming from beyond the door to the barracks. He wasn't sure what he expected to see beyond the door but he definitely didn't expect what he did find.

"Commander!" Boil shot up from where he was crouched on the floor. Next to him, someone was sticking halfway out of a vent, their waist up hidden inside. Boil looked from Cody to whoever was in the vent, back to Cody.

Cody crossed his arms, trying his best to refrain from laughing. "What the hell happened?"

Around Boil, other troopers were failing to control their laughter. "Well, sir," Boil started, barely containing his own laughter, "Waxer lost a tooka in the vent and Wooley saw it and tried to grab it and well…" he motioned to the pair of legs, "he got stuck."

Cody couldn't stop the amused chuckle as Wooley started to kicked his legs.

"Will you stop karking laughing and get me the kriff out?!?" Wooley's muffled yell only caused the boys to keel over laughing once more.

"I'm assuming pulling him out didn't work, then?" Cody asked, leaning against the door frame.

"We tried," Longshot piped up. "But his squeaking as we tried to pull him out-" he fell into a fit of giggles.

"So what you're saying is you bunch of di'kuts were all laughing too hard to pull him out?" Cody asked, his amused smirk never leaving his face.

"No, yeah. That about sums it up sir," Trapper put in between wheeze.

Cody was more laughing at his troopers trying their best to say things in a professional manner all while doubled over wheezing than Wooley screaming profanities through the vent.

"So," Cody made his way over, lightly kicking Wooley's leg. "How bout you lot get him out of the vent so we can find the missing tooka before it bites someone else?"

"I like that plan!" Wooley called out, kicking his legs again, accidentally hitting Cody in the process.

Unfortunately for Wooley, that just sent them all laughing again. Crys, who hadn't said a word since Cody arrived, was now struggling to breath, curled into a ball on the floor.

"What the kriff did I miss?"

Cody turned to see Waxer now standing in the open doorway, a bandage wrapped neatly around his hand.

Cody leaned his back against the wall, sparing a glance at Wooley. "Seems your tooka caused a bit of chaos in your absence."

Waxer chuckled to himself before walking over to Wooley, grabbing his leg and yanking hard. Wooley slid free from the vent and Waxer landed on his ass, wincing as his bandaged hand hit the floor.

Wooley rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling before getting up and launching himself at Boil who practically screamed. Wooley wrestled his vod to the floor. "This is for not getting me out, you karking di'kut!" He yelled as he put Boil in a headlock.

No one came to Boil's rescue and he squirmed to attempt to free himself.

Cody didn't move from his spot against the wall, content to watch the chaos unfold.

Wooley released Boil and latched himself to Longshot who started screaming at Crys to help him. Crys was of no help, still fighting to catch his breath.

Waxer stood up, stopping beside his Commander and his vode rolled around on the floor. "Should we-?"

"Nah," Cody interrupted. "They'll figure it out,"

Cody's attention was quickly drawn back to the vent as a soft meow was heard. Beside his foot the tabby tooka, also watching the chaos it had unknowingly caused.

"There's the little shit!" Wooley's voice called out.

"GET IT!"


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