Star Wars Funny - Blog Posts

This was necessary lmao

Friendly reminder, I have opened a new Patreon (just in case you want to support me and my art) 👀 -> Link in bio

I saw someone saying how Cody would comb the deserts of Tatooine to find Obi-Wan after going AWOL in The Bad Batch. Somehow, this was the first image that popped into my head:

Please, someone with artistic talent (not me) make fanart of this.

"Wrongful Death"

Finally sketched out the scene that pops into my head every day on my commute!

There's this billboard on the way to where I work, advertising an attorney who deals with wrongful death cases, and every time I pass that billboard, I see this poor, bewildered attorney looking on as Padmé, Satine, Fives, and a whole lot of other clones and Jedi pack into his office, shouting and jostling and trying to get him to take their case. It's been months since the billboard first went up, but I finally managed to remember it when I was at home, with access to art stuff, and in a sketchy mood!

Just one more proof that Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano are 100% siblings--

Anakin to Ahsoka: I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka. Vader to Ahsoka: Then you will die.

Ultimate sibling dynamic right there, just a more extreme take on the old nobody gets to hurt my sibling but me!

The Wookieepedia page on PROXY doesn't say what his specific origin is, but it does say he's a prototype created to help with training Vader's apprentice.

Headcanon time!

Vader made PROXY. Which, since Anakin also built Threepio, makes PROXY Threepio's little brother, from a certain point of view.

One major disadvantage of entering the Jedi Order at the ripe old age of nine:

You miss the intro classes where they teach Stop, Drop, and Roll.

That knowledge would have come in handy on Mustafar, you know? To be fair, Anakin was also freshly down a bunch of limbs, but still. He had already dropped. All he had to do was roll.

The way Vader speaks differently from Anakin, not just accent but diction, makes me wonder how the heck he picked that up. Did Palpatine decide, "You must speak properly and menacingly, my disappointingly casual apprentice"?

Or, oh geez, did Vader actually start voluntarily looking up higher-level vocabulary and practicing stiff, formal sentence construction, just so he could avoid sounding like Anakin?

Well, he's nothing if not extra.

When Obi-Wan inevitably finds out about this voluntary study in the Force ghost afterlife, he really wishes he were sufficiently corporeal to bang his head on the wall, because how many years did he spend trying to help Anakin with linguistic skills, and now he decides they're actually useful?

So, I was watching Randy Rainbow videos on YouTube this evening, and it occurred to me that there would probably be someone like Randy Rainbow in the SW galaxy, out there criticizing Palpatine, Vader, the Moffs, etc., with "interviews" and clever, witty showtune parody holos.

Sure, this individual would have to be in disguise and doing the holos from a super-secret location, but you know somebody out there would be doing it... and oh my, would I love to see those.

I've been listening to Brandon Sanderson's Wax and Wayne series at work, and the kandra naming pattern reminded me of Plo Koon in Star Wars, so then my brain was like, "PloKoon? Plo as a kandra?"

What if he takes a bag of spare bones with him on campaigns during the Clone Wars, and one of the Wolfpack finds it one day—

Trooper: "Hey buir, do we want to know why you have a bag of bones under your bed?"

Plo: "Ah... those were from Little 'Soka's first hunt."

Trooper: "Um... okay, that makes sense for the nuna bones, but some of these look human, and I'm getting a little concerned for the safety of the 501st."

And yeah, the nuna bones probably are from Ahsoka's first hunt. She gave them to him the way kids give grownups useless little things they find or make. Plo of course treasures them, and they're secretly his favorite bones.

Also, just saying, being a kandra would allow Plo to survive Order 66. He would just have to sneak off as a mistwraith.

(Not sure how you explain a Force-sensitive kandra, or how a kandra got out of the Cosmere and into the SW universe in the first place, but anyways.)

Headcanon that padawans and initiates try to sneak into the Senate building when the Senate isn't in session, so they can play bumper cars with the hover pods. The 501st hears about the tradition from Ahsoka, and of course they also get in on it!

(Extra points if this somehow ends up with Palpatine accidentally assassinated by a speeding hover pod.)

Realising that, from a certain point of view:

Ventress is Anakin's lineage great-aunt, but he's also her lineage uncle.

Anakin is both Sidious' apprentice and his great-great-grand-apprentice. Or step-great-great-grand-apprentice?

Dooku is both Anakin's great-grandmaster and his lineage brother.

Savage is Dooku's apprentice and his lineage nephew.

Savage is both Anakin's lineage nephew and his lineage great-uncle.

Ventress is both Yoda's and Sidious' grand-apprentice.

Luke is Ahsoka's adoptive nephew, and her lineage uncle, and her lineage great-great-great uncle?

Luke is also Dooku's lineage brother.

And Ventress' lineage uncle.

Anakin is Luke's father, his lineage brother (sort of in two ways?), and his lineage great-great-nephew. Oh, and his lineage great-great uncle, in a way (Anakin = Sith lineage brother to Dooku, who's Luke's Jedi great-grandmaster, in addition to being his Jedi lineage brother).

I think all of this makes Padmé pretty much everybody's in-law???

And it might require a bit of a stretch, but I'm pretty sure there are also multiple ways for Maul to be Obi-Wan's lineage relative?

….THIS IS THE WAY…! 😎