Small Vent - Blog Posts

small vent post because i relate to this audio so much

Redesigned one of my OCs because she was getting to "family friendly" looking in my eyes. I've been going on a redesigning trip with all my OCs because they just don't feel like they're mine anymore and like they belong to someone else, which is my fault entirely. I got caught up in making them to how I thought someone else would like them, but since I've been stuck in my art block for a while I realized that I just don't care anymore what people want of my art or my ocs if they like it cool if they don't cool all that matters really is I'm happy with them again and enjoy using and working with them like I used to.

Also, happy late-ish Easter, I hope yall had a good one!

hello wuestion about shifting!

whats the method you found to work the most for you?

𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫...

it wouldn't be right if I didn't (obvs lol), but unfortunately,,, none of them💀. I know, depressing, right?

but, in all seriousness, this isn't me saying that I've literally tried every single last method there is out there, but again, I like to be very transparent about these sorts of things,,,

they have all equally not worked lmfaooo😹💔.

I've tried/done a lot of methods over time (I've been shifting for about 4-5 years now, but haven't shifted yet), and none of them have done anything for me whatsoever. I mean, to this day, I haven't even gotten any of what people call "symptoms" - which, I personally think are just signs your body is falling asleep, not actually shifting💀✋🏽. I feel like shifting doesn't feel like anything, it kinda just,,, happens, yk? - so I can't really offer up anything that I would say is the "best" or what "works".

although (because again, I know this is kinda depressing and I don't want to, like, crush your hopes lmao), I feel like what's best for me is to try and stick to methods that revolve around sleeping, nighttime, no outside distractions or needs type of vibe. unfortunately, I live in an environment where there's a lot of negativity a lot of the time (mentally, emotionally, and physically) and I have no clear path or way out, it feels like, and my AuDHD does not at all help in the focus department💀🥲✋🏽 (I've never been able to mediate, lucid dream, none of that stuff, and I've accepted that), and the most I often experience is highly vivid dreams.

so, with that, I feel like my best attempts and my best interests lie in sleep methods, especially the ones where it's like "that point between awake and asleep" and "sleep paralysis",,, I slip into those states rather occasionally and have throughout my whole life, and I know how to trigger them, so rn, my intention has been set on mastering getting into and staying focused in those states so that I can then move onto shifting from those states, you know what I mean?

but hey, if anyone else has any advice for me or the asker here, (or any readings hehehe, I am currently practicing tarot myself, and I'm sure others are, too, so you're welcome to practice on me because I'd sure love some guidance right about now lmfao), definitely lay it on me, I'm open and happy to hear it.

and to you, my lovely person who dropped this question that I'm answering in my inbox, I apologize that I can't be of more assistance. I wish I had more of a straight-forward and profound answer, or that I could help you out in someway, but I'm pretty much in the same boat here when it comes to the whole "wtf should I do and wtf am I doing😭??" part of it all lol.

toodles, and take care to all /ᐠ^˕^マ~ !!

It’s been a month already… 😭 well another check up! How have you been? 😊

𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨...!! (tw: may be some touchy subjects/words in this for readers, so caution is advised. ig this doubles as a small rant/vent)

I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to fully apologize for my unexpected/unannounced hiatus. it's actually been a very rough set of months, and I really am trying to get past it. in short, I've lost some family, have been trying to set up a stable (and not mentally/emotionally draining💀✋🏽) environment for me to stay in and/or find a job, and possibly aim for a chance at getting back in school or learning to hone in on some skills that could up my advantages in getting myself ... unstuck, I guess you could say?

all in all,,, it's looking grim fr ngl💀.

but, it's not in my best interest to dwell on it. I can only take/deal with so much before I realize I need an escape or a recluse, and honestly, this account allows me to do that. with or without an audience, I continue to post/write because it's something I genuinely enjoy. I love being able to focus my attention on my special interests and while a lot of the times, my mental state or my outside struggles gets in the way of that, I still persist because without this one joy, this one thing no one can take from me,,, idk I might as well not be here lmao.

I don't mean to rant/vent any further, but for those asking (ty, lovely anon, for checking in♡), I'd thought I'd shed a little light on my situation, and I truly encourage everyone who sees this to be kind when give the opportunity.

you never know what someone else is going through, what's actually going through their heads, what they're contemplating, and what they're dealing with. if you can't do it because you just want to be a decent human being and want to make someone's day, at least do it because you don't want to be the cause of something tragic that's undoable :/.

with that being said, if you feel there's no one on this earth who doesn't love you, it must mean I've died because I love you. as long as I'm here, you will always have someone you can chat/vent/rant to, make friends with, and search for whatever support you need :). I am here for you, even as just one person♡.

~ lyssa💞

*ahem* anyways back to my fanfic author fangirl shifter autism adhd induced bullshit😻‼️... (which reminds me, I really am going to try to repost stuff more often and post other things than just writing, idk why I'm so bad at that💀).