Repentance - Blog Posts

Beauty from the Beast

Sadness was my gut reaction

when I saw her picture in your wallet.

She: more beautiful than me,

eyes brighter than mine,

her smile sweet, pure honey.

But behind my sadness came joy.

Joy that you have someone so beautiful,

someone to love and to love you

as once upon a time I did.  What we became was

ugly, but it taught us life. We were not a waste.

But as our beautiful flowers bloomed,

we came to see we could not share the sun.

Our petals grew shriveled and brown,

choked by the harsh sting of broken promises,

of life and truth, and what is not meant to be.

He is now my light, and she is now your fire,

and as we grow apart we will grow closer to them,

and they will and lift us up toward the sun, and

we will be alive. Apart, we will grow to be

the beauty that we now know we can be.

Closure

Upon this wall I sit and watch the tide

roll in and out, affection for the sand

as indecisive as your touch. Your hand

grazes mine. Is it true we really tried?

Perhaps I missed it when you tried to hide.

Your touch lingers, and I feel it demand

a part of me that no longer can stand.

Was this love just far too long denied?

But there was something here, and it still is

alive somewhere inside our broken hearts.

This poem is far too sentimental,

And yet I feel somewhere, somehow that this

needs to be said, before we fall apart

and crash into the waves that we feel call.

Liar

You forced a laugh and told me

You were heartless

As your head fell into your hands,

Hiding a pained smile.

I’m glad you’re a liar.

Spring

Cut through the pallid skin of the fresh corpse of winter. Bleed beginnings.

The close of winter is a silent night, still darkness giving in to a vibrant day.

Dying frost. Awakening Blooms. Welcome to a new world.

Sweet, the scent of birdsong and blue.

In the movies, this is where the newborn enters the scene.

The dawn light breaks on pale pink, the bright call

of miles to go before I sleep.

I swear it’s too hot for this time of year.

Venus, why bring love in Spring if it dies in winter?

Dying minus the end equals resurrection.

Passerby

You know, I really love it when you pretend

that I don’t exist.

You climbed out of your car,

alone in the grocery store parking lot.

We made eye contact,

I almost dropped my bag of eggs.

You locked the car and zipped up your jacket

and jogged to the door, out of the cold

as if I never even existed.

Not even a smile?

The least you could do is acknowledge me.

My stomach clenches as

I shove food into my trunk.

My appetite is gone.

Warm Body

Time can never erase the taste, the touch,

the heat of smooth, soft skin. My fingertips

ached to pull him closer. Hands felt my hips,

urging me onward, still forward. So much

depends upon simple contact, and such

sweet, plum caresses from succulent lips.

But this is not quite right. Fantasy rips

and he is not my warmth, the one I clutch.

Not lover, friend, my partner strong and bold,

who brings me to my sweetest, perfect form.

He is a stranger, a poor substitution,

an improper plaster cast, hard and cold.

He could never mold to your humor or charm.

You are gone, he is just an illusion.

Winter

A special snowflake disappears on warm skin

just like all the others.

Frost laden bark skeletons scar the sky,

casting shadows in the sub-zero sun

shining on the deathly pallor coating the ground.

The branches look so alone

without leaves to bridge the gaps.

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

There is no desire left to melt this frozen world.

To Save a Wretch Like Me

Palms sweat thick as blood. I fold them so as not

to stain my skirt, too clean, too white. The wine of redemption

burns my throat, bitter next to the sweet sin so heavy on my

unholy mind. The call to confess crushes the

soul. There are no secrets left. I can’t look up, can’t

burn my eyes with the sight of his neck, red with the embarrassment

of awareness beneath a shock of blond. He sits two rows ahead,

his head bowed in humility, and I sink to the depths of the

earth, opening to swallow me beneath the altar before me,

drowning me in the tears of the women at the cross.

Confess?

Track 5

Hard rock as            the door lock slides

   slowly into place, drowning out the

memory of your               face before you

         stepped over the threshold. The

timing was wrong              but I had hoped we

    would fight to save what wasn’t yet

broken. Now           headless dolls stumbling

  aimlessly across the toy box are what

we have become.            Too far even to run

 back into ear shot. Turn the music up.

Dusty Morning

At least I told the truth, and yet

the truth of the matter is that none of it matters.

Reasons why, what made it die, the goodbyes-

I cry but none of the questions wash away.

It just makes mud, mudding up my mind,

making me wonder more and more: why?

I wish I had that answer.

I wish you had that answer.

I wish, as you sat there in your leather jacket

with no shirt, and me underdressed

in faded pajamas and old jeans,

I wish you could have said- or maybe I don’t.

To accept that it happened is

a challenge alone. To know why is more than

I could stand. Who, what, when, and where:

these will have to do. I’ll never accept a reason

why you can’t forgive me the way I forgave you.

Track 4

You step over the threshold to the

          sounds of Beethoven and Mozart. Beautifully

                    complicated, an enigma I plan to spend

my life solving. Figuring you out is a

          full time job, but all I’m paid is promises

                    and disappointments, affection and fear.

The definition of forever grows smaller

          and smaller, a wrung out sponge. Will

                    we be the ones to soak it full again?

Arpeggios leave out what’s in between.

Repentance (Part Three of To Save A Wretch Like Me)

The third and final part of the collection, To Save A Wretch Like Me, contains the resolution for the lovers as they reach their rock bottom and are left to pick themselves up and find their way back to themselves on their own. 

The official SF discord server can be a traumatic experience.

Depois que Mortimer acaba perdendo o desconforto dele, ele percebe a besteira que acabou de fazer e sente um peso no peito.

*estado mental normalizado de novo*

PS: Eu realmente senti uma pontada no meu peito porque eu tenho uma amiga que também é autista e ela sente um desconforto quando mantém contato visual com alguém e eu tenho pena dela por causa disso (ela é autista nível 1,5 suporte)

I slowly approach you and give you a note saying:

"Eu tenho algo importante para te dizer"

Once you pick up the paper, I started to run away

Opening the paper, it's written:

After many failed attempts:

Ah... It may even seem easy to do the Peixonauta, but it is an easy thing that ends up being difficult to do.

In Christ alone, my hope is found

When we fall He gets us up, He bounds what is broken and pulls out our soul from the pits of Despair. Such a kind God He is. It was our fault we got into that pit! We followed sin, being deceived by what it offers, yet Jesus Christ offered a way out. First you repent then you believe in Him and He’ll get you out. Amen.

If you're a child of God then God lives in you. If He lives in you then though you fall seven times you get up because the Holy Spirit who resides in us delivers us from living in sin.

When tempted we must go to God as our refuge, calling for help and He will deliver us. At times we do fall but the Blood of Christ never looses its power.

This song is an up lifter. Enjoy!

Now, if you cannot prove to me that science solely exists on its own,

please let me believe my God in peace.

For all your knowledge, inventions, discoveries might as well be duplications of what God already created in the beginning.

Tell me something new— something beyond the CHATGPT that thinks like a man, replies like a man, and relies solely on the knowledge of man, a creation of God.

So let me have my God, while you perfect your machines.

Lies Of There gods. Am sorry !? NO, but a god that tells me to do what's real to me differs not from a marriage that encourages me into a threesome or worse a gang bang.

Evaporation of passion

Hi-res

A pillar of salt

I'm thinking of drawing a continuation, a second artwork, there will be modded character Sodom and Gomorrah. And Edith will look back at them. For more biblical accuracy, hehe.

Hi-res

I'll never be abandoned again, right?

I trust you. Hi-res

Rock bottom

There so deep that I can't even see the light anymore.

Hi-res

I'm sure in advance this art is one of those that will not pay attention to.

Drawing this artwork fell on not the best period of my life. Loneliness and lack of understanding and support... It's not that I haven't had this on an ongoing basis before, but it seems now it's reaching its peak.

However.

Here's a dead withered greedy fellow. He's one of my favorites and I think he's cute in some way. Hi-res

Do you think he can do twice as many hugs? 😳 Hi-res

I wanted to draw something cute with Isaac. Lost Soul pretty cute. :) Isaac (and his little soul friend) deserve more moments of happiness and peace like this. Maybe later I'll try to draw something gloomy in vibe of the game itself. But most likely it will be something sad in my common "decorative" manner. Hi-res