Reader Fanfiction - Blog Posts

If only he was real and my man 😞🙏🏻

Title: Falling Into Place

Pairing: Shinichiro x Reader

Summary: A few misfortunate and fortunate events lead to you dating the leader of the Black Dragon. It turns out it’s not so bad. | Genre: Fluff | Warning: Bullying, some light angst | Words: 17.3K

‘Are we going to make one for Sano as well?’

Your hand that had just put your school shoes into your shoe locker paused briefly.  

When you came into the hallway to change your shoes, you did notice several girls from the B-class standing together and talking about something. Still, you did your best to ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t see you. You wished it was that easy. You wouldn’t bother them, and they would leave you alone, but you weren’t always that lucky.

You knew some of them from elementary and middle school, and it seemed with every year you were unfortunate enough to end up in the same school as them, they’ve only gotten worse. Even those you didn’t know personally growing up, you still knew to some extent. If only because they were all the same.

Mean, untrustworthy followers with obnoxious giggles. 

You were grateful that now in high school, you, at the very least, were lucky enough to end up in the A-class where it seemed the girls were much nicer or at least not as much under the influence of one girl in particular. The girl that was the sole reason you paid attention to what they were about to say, sensing something shitty and shady was coming.

‘What? Sano?’ asked the girl in that sweet voice you long since knew was just an act, just as everything else about her, ‘Well, I would love to. But I don’t support delinquents!’ she even added a little giggle at the end, causing some of the other girls who were standing around her to laugh as well. You rolled your eyes at her fake kindness.

‘I guess he will just remain a loser for Valentine’s Day too,’ said another one of your classmates just as you closed your locker shut, sparking another outburst of giggles from some of the girls and for you to frown even if you didn’t say anything and instead left so you didn’t have to be in the presence of those girls a moment longer.

‘Goodbye, y/n-chan. Have a nice day,’ called that girl with her sweet voice after you, and you had no choice but to wave at her and mumble a goodbye. You heard her comment on it. Something like that’s okay. She’s shy like that, and you force yourself to continue to walk, hoping you would be out of her mind, too, if you were out of her sight.

Stepping outside the school and breathing the fresh air you didn’t have to share with that girl and her followers was soul-cleansing.

You supposed everyone experienced a girl like that every once in their lives. Someone who always gathered a following and admiration from girls and boys alike. She always seemed to have it all together, a good and secure family, lots of friends, exciting experiences and vacations, and good grades, and everyone seemed to buy into her sweet persona. Everyone but you, it seemed.

This girl was like that ever since you knew her, and as shameful as it was to admit it yourself, it did take you a couple of years to correctly figure it out and see her for who she really was.

Before, you supposed you were one of her followers or at least getting there until, for some reason, she decided to exclude you from the group and make you a target instead. She had to have a reason. She had a reason for everything she did, but you never really understood why. Either way, you always told yourself you were better off especially given what you just heard.

Now, every time you heard or noticed another one of the mean tricks, she liked to pull on people unfortunate enough to simply met her in life, you couldn’t help but think about all those things she did before, even those you didn’t think were all that mean or cruel at the time, in a new light.

Are we going to make one for Sano?

No way!

Those words and that obnoxious giggle haunted you all the way home as you recalled your past experiences with that girl.

You knew what she was planning since something similar already took place in middle school. Back then, you two were classmates, and you naively believed friends because of how friendly and sweet she was. She suggested you and your female classmates should bake giri choco (obligatory chocolates) for every boy in your class so they wouldn’t feel excluded if they didn’t have anyone who wanted to confess to them.

Back then, it sounded like such a nice gesture. You really admired her for being such a good person. Of course, all the other girls agreed, and you all baked chocolates and handed them out on Valentine’s Day.

Everyone was happy and praised her for how nice and thoughtful she was to suggest such an idea. Even the teachers seemed impressed. You were impressed. Even if some of you were slightly disappointed since that was the year you tried to gather the courage to make chocolate for your crush. The friendly and funny boy who lived two houses from you and used to play with you behind his house. You liked him a lot and for a really long time, and you were hopeful that he might like you back. In the end, even if you couldn’t confess that year, you were glad to see so many people were in a good mood, and you took part in making it happen. It really boosted your self-esteem and made you giddy.

And besides, you told yourself, there was always next year. You weren’t going to be selfish after all.

Then a month later came White Day, and the boys, following the girls’ example, gave out white chocolates and other sweets to every single girl except for you.

You were shocked and humiliated, waiting for every single break until the last one when you would find something on your desk or your school bag, only to be crushed when you were the only one left without any gift at the end of the day. You didn’t understand it. Sure, you weren’t confident or naïve enough to expect a confession from your crush or anyone else. Still, at the very least, you did expect a reciprocate chocolate like all your classmates.

Your self-esteem and mood hit their lowest by the end of the school day when everyone talked about what they got and played a guessing game of which boy gave out their sweets, only for you to put your shoes on with a red face and tears threatening to break out of your eyes. You remembered being so confused, hurt, mortified, and upset.

As if the cruel fate wasn’t done with you just yet, that girl pointed out how weird it was and told you not to be sad that you ‘were the only one’ who didn’t get anything loud enough for every girl to hear and take pity on you.

At that moment, just as some girls patted your back or tried to hug you, reassuring you not to feel too bad about it, you saw that girl’s tiny smile. You thought it was cruel of her to smile when you were this upset. It was the first time you thought of her as anything other than a sweet and good person and friend.

It wasn’t until graduation that one of your classmates said she asked around and heard that someone spread the word that you didn’t participate in giving out the chocolate and, therefore, shouldn’t get any on White Day. By then, you were a target of some other jokes, so you already knew what that girl was all about and that she was behind this all.

It wasn’t the first time you heard about something that girl was planning. Although you knew it was shitty of her, you weren’t the type to tell on her, fearing what she might do to hurt you if she found out. You already ended up as her target a few times, and it was soul-crushing, to say the least.

At times, you often wished you were someone else. Someone braver who could stand up to her and who others would believe, but even in your fantasies, you more often than not allowed insecurities and self-doubt to win, imagining everyone calling you a liar and taking her side.

Sighing, you knew there wasn’t anything you could do. Not really, at least.

But...Sano-san will be hurt if he’s the only one without chocolate.

It shouldn’t bother you all that much.

You didn’t know Sano that well, apart from living in the same area and often ending up in the same schools. You two were always in different classes. You probably never even spoke directly to each other. You had a faded memory that you and a few other kids played tag together, but by then, you couldn’t even be sure about that.

And he was a delinquent. Everyone knew he was a part of the Black Dragon, their leader, so that should have been an immediate red flag that he wasn’t a good person, and everyone should stay away, but… 

You found yourself chewing on your lips nervously while walking home, taking the extended tour to gather your thoughts a bit.

Remember how much it sucked when you were excluded from something?

You crossed your arms, hoping you wouldn’t start to cry about something that happened back in middle school now, and instead thought about what you could do, missing the increasing sound of an approaching motorcycle.

‘Hey, look out!’ someone called. Before you knew it, you were pulled toward something solid and warm simultaneously as something fast and loud speeded by your ear, causing you to cower even more into the warmth, fearing you would get hit.

‘Fucker!’ you heard a male curse close to your other ear. You blinked a couple of times before glancing up, only to find Sano Shinichiro frowning at something in front of him.

You were stunned and confused, wondering if you mentally somehow brought the boy to your path by thinking about him and what that girl was planning so hard, only to realize that you were extremely close to him. In fact, given the pressure you felt around your shoulders and the warmth against your chest, side, and belly that seemed to pay no attention to the fact that you still had your uniform on, you realized he was holding you. You were in his arms.

‘S-Sano-san, w-what-what-?’ you stuttered, feeling your face grow red at the realization that Sano Shinichiro, a boy, this boy, was holding you against his chest with his body pressed into yours and his face so close you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

His dark eyes blinked, and before you could finish your questions, they were on you, and well, they were dark.

Your own eyes blinked, and your words drifted into silence as you were met with his gaze for the first time, noticing that Sano Shinichiro’s eyes were really dark. It wasn’t uncommon to have dark eyes in this country, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but think you didn’t often see dark eyes that were so pretty.

Upon meeting yours, that frown that was causing his brows to furrow and wrinkles over his forehead smoothed out, and his dark eyes obtained a very soft look.

Handsome, your mind supplied. Sano Shinichiro was lovely when he had this soft look inside his pretty dark eyes.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, and once again, you could only blink, feeling out of character with yourself over what was happening, ‘W-what?’

‘He was driving like a maniac. He almost caught you that close to the sidewalk,’ he said, and you blinked again, taking his words and their meaning in realizing he probably saved you from the potential harm of some reckless driver. You wouldn’t even see it coming.

‘Oh, thank you,’ you said and felt the shock sustaining only for embarrassment and self-awareness to catch on, ‘Uh,’ you swallowed, worried your face was as red as a tomato before you finally said, ‘You can let me go now.’

That soft look disappeared as his eyes widened twice their size, and Sano pushed you away from him so fast you felt a bit hurt, ‘S-sorry, I didn’t mean to… I swear I’m not…like that!’

You pushed your personal feelings aside, realizing he probably was worried you would think he was a pervert for holding you that long. Not to mention you took pity on him knowing how often you worried what people might think about you, ‘It’s alright. You still saved my life, I think. Thank you.’

He reached to the back of his head and scratched his neck, looking really shy and uncomfortable now, ‘It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright, y/l/n.’

You raised your eyebrows, unable to hide your surprise, ‘You know my name?’

Sano dark eyes shifted to your face again, ‘Of course, we’ve been in the same school since kindergarten. Never in the same class, though. It’s a bit funny,’ he chuckled, and a relaxed smile took hold of his face.

It suits him.

‘Yes, strange,’ you said, momentarily hypnotized by him. It was the first time you spoke to one another, engaged in contact, and overall shared an experience which must have been why it felt so odd.

You straightened yourself and fixed your school uniform, trying to gain some composure, ‘Well, have a nice day. I need to go home.’

It wasn’t the whole truth, but you didn’t know how to end the moment like this.

Sano didn’t seem to mind offering you another smile and a lazy but calm goodbye wave. Despite his reputation, he had a relaxed and positive aura around him. One you couldn’t seem to escape either.

‘Hey, you did?’ asked Sano and snatched some bags out of the hands of someone who must have been in the same gang as him even if that person didn’t even ask him to, ‘I was thinking about your problem and maybe….’

He and his friend got too far for you to hear, but it all still left an impact, wondering if you shouldn’t have warned him.

Wouldn’t you be more prepared if someone warned you that you were about to be singled out on White Day? Wouldn’t you somehow manage to skip school just to avoid the humiliation and spare some of your feelings? Wouldn’t you be grateful that you still had at least one ally despite everything?

You were too much of a coward to come up to Sano and tell him what that girl was planning to do. You couldn’t leave a note because there might be a chance that he would show it to someone and recognize your handwriting. He might have been a delinquent, but you knew about his failed attempts at confessing and how heavily he was ridiculed about it behind his back. You doubted even someone like him would manage to survive a mocking from that girl. In your mind, you couldn’t imagine anyone would.

You didn’t realize you stayed in the same spot looking at him until he turned around and looked back right at you.

Shocked, you realized it would seem like you were watching him leave, which you were, but not because you were just caught up in your thoughts.

About him… but not like THAT!

You turned around and ran, hoping you could save your face at least a little bit.

It really isn’t your problem. You barely know him, and he’s a delinquent. The Leader of Black Dragons.

You stopped yourself since you felt you were being unfair and lying to yourself a bit.

It was hard to explain because his gang friends did partake in the usual activities of minor vandalism, petty crimes, and other delinquent activities; you couldn’t help but think Sano was a decent enough guy. You did see him around the neighborhood. A delinquent or not, you did notice he was friendly to locals, caring, always asking them about their day and sparing precious time humoring them with a chat.

You knew he had three younger siblings he often dealt with and took care of and a grandfather who ran a dojo and was well respected and liked around.

You just couldn’t really label him a just delinquent, not when you could recall so many instances when he was more than that. And this was without you two being friends or talking. Something told you he might be a really good person.

 Besides…he just saved your life, knew your name, and he was-

-your mind supplied the image of his relaxed smile and the soft look in his dark eyes-

Nice.

Like so nice!

Talking to him gave you a comfortable warmth even if you were struggling with your dilemma.

I didn’t deserve to be excluded like that, and neither does Sano, you decided.

Seeing no other option, you came to your kitchen and pulled out some recipe book making Sano Shinichiro homemade chocolate.

Ridiculous, you kept on telling yourself.

It was ridiculous that because of the whole mess in middle school, you were never brave enough to actually make chocolate for your crush. Even an obligatory one that couldn’t be used against you, but here you were working on Sano’s. It must have been the near-death experience and him being your hero with dark eyes-

Don’t think about it! You warned yourself. You were crushing on your classmate, a goodhearted and sweet boy who had lived two houses from your own since middle school, and one of these years, you would have the courage to confess to him or move on. Just because Sano wasn’t so bad didn’t mean he was as good as your crush, and crushing on more than one person seemed selfish, right?

But you finished, and based on some testing, the chocolate turned out pretty good. Definitely even better than when you were in middle school.

You saved my life, Sano-san. Now we’re even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You planned to come to school early and drop the chocolate into Sano’s shoe locker, hoping even delinquents checked those before rushing away. No one would see you. No one would know. Sano would have chocolate just like everyone else. That girl’s malice plan would fail, and you would perhaps gain some good karma for your troubles, maybe in the form of your crush speaking with you on his own for once.

You were pretty sure about your plan, thinking it was more or less bulletproof, making sure not to look too interested in the news that those lovely girls from 3-B gave everyone chocolate up until your lunch break. Mentally, you praised yourself for executing such a rescue mission.

You knew something was up when you heard some of the boys who were eating by their desks whispering about something.

‘You know, y/n-chan,’ started that girl later that day, suddenly appearing by your desk without her usual flock of girls as her entourage.

By all those years you spent in her presence, you knew this meant she was about to do something she didn’t want anyone to witness, and even if you tried to be brave, it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

You offered her your most disinterested face as you turned toward her smiling one you once thought was so pretty but now knew for a fact was just her being malice, ‘You should only give chocolate to people you like or everyone. It’s rather cruel to bring Sano-san’s hopes up like that.’

Your façade cracked as you frowned at the girl gathering some courage, even if not nearly as much as you would have liked, ‘Crueler than excluding him simply because you think you have some imaginary power?’

‘Well, it’s not my fault Sano-san is involved with gangs and such. Actions have consequences, and acting in such a way can really cause a person to be excluded, you know?’ she asked, looking as sweet as honey. Still, you were pretty sure she wasn’t talking just about Sano.

You watched her for a while before she giggled, ‘But that’s not the point, you know? You shouldn’t give chocolate to people you don’t like, y/n-chan. If you were going to single someone out. Wouldn’t you have picked someone else?’

She watched you like she knew a secret, which you thought was impossible because you never spoke or hinted that you were crushing on your classmate, your crush, even when you were friends.

She doesn’t know. She’s just being her usual self, trying to get under my skin. 

But then she giggled and looked ahead, and as much as you hated it, your eyes followed as well. There were three boys standing in front of another of your classmate’s desks, so you could have been looking at anyone, but when your eyes moved back, she was already looking at you like a canary who caught the mice, ‘It’s not very nice to get someone’s hopes up.’

You thought that was rather ominous and feared retaliation. Still, when she didn’t say anything else and gave you a friendly wave, you could only watch her leave with a sinking heart before your gazes returned to your crush.

Your nerves were getting the best of you, and your imagination created all sorts of scenarios about what she could have planned for you. When you received a note in your shoe locker at the end of the day, you didn’t even bother reading it and immediately tossed it into the trash.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class.

As if!

Like hell, you were stupid enough to be left anywhere without witnesses now.

You instead rushed home, watching your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, you ensured you never had to use the bathroom by sipping as little water as possible. And made sure you were always supervised during class during breaks. It worked since you sprinted down to your shoe lock after class only to find another note.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class. 

Was she seriously trying to do the same thing twice? Well, she did use the same thing she tried in middle school on Valentine’s Day, so it was possible she wasn’t above repeating some things. But it did leave you puzzled.

It’s a trick…right?

Surely, her plan was to get you alone, and you were too cautious to fall for that. You tossed the message away and rushed home repeating everything you did yesterday, except this time, just as you were discussing if you could take a sip of some water, Sano Shinichiro appeared in your classroom, causing some of the boys to bow to him before he stopped by your desk with that relaxed smile on his face, ‘What will it take for you to come to meet me behind the east wall after the damn class?’

Your eyes widened, and your mouth parted, ‘T-that was you?’

Sano blinked, and a slight wrinkle appeared across his face as he frowned, unclear if he was confused or upset, ‘Who else did you think it was?’

Your eyes betrayed you once again, only this time your gaze followed to the door to your classroom, where one of the followers always waited to see if you would leave the room’s safety.

When you saw out of the corner of your eyes that Sano did the same, the girl quickly cowered away. She might have been brave enough to laugh behind his back. Still, just like many other people, she took the fact that Sano was a gang leader seriously enough not to get at odds with him.

It wasn’t the first time you noticed one of the girls from 3-B came to your classroom in the last two days, and you were still unsure what she planned to do if you decided to leave the room, but you didn’t like that she would now go report back to her leader and the other girls.

‘Hey,’ a warm palm suddenly appeared on your shoulder, bringing you back to the moment, ‘Are you alright?’

His frown was smoothed out, but it appeared there was something close to concern in his dark eyes as they traveled through your face trying to read you.

‘Yes,’ you lied, unsure how to explain to someone like Sano what was happening.

He watched you for a second longer as if giving you time to come clean which you couldn’t before he took a deep breath and nodded, taking his hand off you, ‘Behind the east wall after class. Be there, or I’ll come to your house.’

You blinked and leaned away, startled by that idea, ‘Don’t say stuff like that. It’s creepy.’

He blinked before he brushed the back of his head, looking sheepish, ‘I just meant... Just be there, alright?’

You decided to give him a break and nodded, ‘I will,’ your gaze shifted toward the door again, but the girl didn’t return, ‘Be there on time, please.’

‘I will. No worries,’ he assured you with ease, but you genuinely believed him for some reason. You didn’t know much about delinquents besides the rumors and bad reputation, but you assumed that for someone to become a gang leader, they had to be strong and responsible on some level.

You watched Sano leave, wondering what he could want to talk about. Did the girls tell him he wasn’t supposed to get chocolate, and he wanted to thank you? Did they steal it, and he never got it? But you were sure you heard all the boys got it this year from 3-B…, so what gives?

 You changed your shoes and met Sano behind the east wall, where he greeted you with that relaxed smile and sincere look behind his eyes. Oddly, whatever worries you had about what he could possibly want, melted away, at least until he opened his mouth.

‘I brought you this,’ he said. Suddenly, he pushed a white desert box and a plushie of your favorite animal into your arms, ‘I should have waited for March, I know, but I really couldn’t.’

Your eyes blinked as he carried on looking like a nervous wreck with the trembling, rambling, and rubbing of the back of his head messing his styled hair, ‘You were truly thoughtful, and I felt…I still feel really shitty that I didn’t ask you out myself first.’

Strange. He looks nothing like a gang leader now, you thought to yourself, realizing that the corners of your mouth lifted.

You opened your mouth and tried to speak as his words started to make sense, ‘My captains would riot if they knew their leader didn’t make the first move. Damn, it’s so uncool. I asked like twenty girls, and I should have…I should have asked you instead. Pathetic,’ he cursed at himself before his dark eyes widened, and he quickly clarified, ‘I’m pathetic, not you. You… you’re sweet and great.’

You raised your brows, finally managing a ‘You don’t really know me-’ in between his speech, but Sano didn’t waste time and quickly said, ‘I asked around about you.’

Somehow that was like a punch into the stomach that knocked all the air out of you as you suddenly realized what was happening and who was behind this.

You dropped the items in a moment of recklessness and covered Sano’s mouth with your palm, dread creeping into your heart and goosebumps covering your skin, ‘Did the girls in your class tell you about me? You can’t trust them… they’re…they….they play games, and don’t like me.’

Sano’s dark eyes widened a fraction before they dropped, seemingly looking at your palm on his mouth.

Startled, you pulled it away and stepped back, ‘They just… don’t like me.’

Sano frowned a bit, seemingly confused, ‘They said nice things about you.’

You looked away and sighed, wondering why did you bother in the first place. No guy would understand, ‘Trust me,’ you said and crossed your arms over your chest, thinking about their fake smiles and acts of kindness that they were lacking, not to mention their attempts at humiliating you or others, ‘girls aren’t as simple as you guys.’

‘Hey!’ he started, but when your eyes lifted toward him, there was no fight in his posture or expression. He merely rubbed the back of his head, ‘Well, I don’t know much about girls, so I can’t really say much about it.’

You nodded, glad he at least admitted such a thing.

He looked so uncertain now; before, he was nervous but giddy now; he seemed almost lost, ‘Are they like bullying you?’

‘No,’ you said all too quickly. You were unsure. Before, in middle school, you experienced some really shitty things from them. You were sure they bullied you back then, but now it just seemed like they were ignoring you or whispering their bullshit behind your back.

‘Okay. Is it…did I offend you because I didn’t ask you out before?’

You bit the inside of your mouth. You weren’t offended. You honestly didn’t really think about Sano asking girls around. Still, even if he was a delinquent, it was nice to have his attention for a moment right now. It was nice to have any attention, to be completely honest. You would graduate in a few months, and it felt like you were behind on the many things your classmates seemed to achieve. Logically, you knew it wasn’t a big deal and that many people were just late bloomers, but it sucked so damn much to be left out of things all the time.

You didn’t even kiss anyone or go on a single date. You had some friends but knew you weren’t overly liked or missed if you didn’t come to school. You were really lonely if you allowed yourself to think about it too much.

Your eyes fell on your gifts; at least someone thought they wouldn’t mind dating me.

You kneeled down and picked up the items before you returned them to him, ‘I don’t need you to give me anything. To be honest, I just gave you the chocolate because you saved my life the other day.’

And I didn’t want you to feel left out like I do, you thought but refused to say. He would feel bad, and he was lovely in this weird boyish way that seemed to be getting under your skin.

Sano’s face became unreadable, and you genuinely felt terrible, so you tried to explain, ‘I like someone else. Sort of.’

‘Like a boyfriend?’ he Sano, his face still not back to his previous relaxed self, but he sounded more or less like himself. It still made you feel shitty and wonder if you had made a mistake by telling him.

‘Like an unrequired crush,’ you clarified, ‘So don’t feel bad about not asking me out sooner.’

The dark-haired boy still didn’t seem too convinced, but he nodded, ‘I see,’ then, to your delight, he startled to laugh a bit and grinned at you, ‘You know I must have thought up about fifty outcomes for how this would go. This was not it.’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’m just glad I didn’t get jumped or something.’

‘Come on, a bunch of high school girls can’t be that bad,’ he said and waved his hand while you rolled your eyes, ‘Clearly, you never became any girl’s target for bullying.’

He snatched the chocolate from you but nodded at the plushie, ‘Keep it. I still owe you something for the chocolate. It was delicious. Where did you buy it?’

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with pride, ‘I made it. If I was about to give anyone a chocolate, I would do it right.’

Sano opened the desert box and shoved some content into his mouth before offering you some as well.

You supposed there was no harm in that.

‘It was terrific. Your crush must be lucky.’

‘I never gave him any,’ you said and tasted some of the store-bought chocolate. It was good, but homemade was better, ‘It’s too-’

‘Sweet,’ finished Sano with a nod but took another one, ‘How come you never gave your crush any? Isn’t Valentine’s Day a perfect opportunity for that?’

You looked away, ‘It’s…just a crush.’

‘Well,’ Sano watched you for a while, and even if you couldn’t see his face, his voice was very upbeat and supportive, ‘if it’s half as good as the one you gave me, he would have to have dead taste buds not to love it.’

You crushed the plushie of your favorite animal closer to your chest as you felt heat enter your cheeks. It felt good to be praised like that, ‘Thank you, Sano-kun.’

‘Call me Shinichiro,’ he said and put his hand on your shoulder, startling you into looking at him, ‘And he’ll especially love it if it’s coming from such a sweet and nice girl like you, y/n-chan.’

Your eyes blinked several times really fast as a strange warmth spread across your chest. You couldn’t recall the last time some boy used your first name like that or said such a nice thing about you.

Your face burned, and you would much rather Sano wouldn’t notice, so you quickly tried to argue, ‘Don’t say that. You don’t really know me. We talked like three times-’

‘I told you, I asked around-’

‘Ah, no, those girls-’

‘It wasn’t just the girls; even so, they didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You’re nice,’ he smiled, and you had to admit, it was a charming smile, ‘You could have left it with a thank you for helping you out the other day. Still, you invested your time to give me chocolate and…,’ he tilted his head. His dark eyes softened like they did last time, causing your insides to twist a bit, ‘Did you know if it wasn’t for your chocolate, I wouldn’t get any?’

You swallowed, going for a lie, but before you could, he chuckled and grinned, ‘Your face is all red, y/n-chan. If you’re like this with me, I wonder if your crush doesn’t know all about your feelings.’

You pouted and waved his hand finally away from your shoulder since it obviously did something to your circulation and caused you to heat up, ‘Can’t get all red if I don’t talk to him.’

Sano blinked, surprised, ‘Really? That’s sort of stupid.’

‘No one asked you,’ you said and started to walk Sano easily, catching up, ‘I just mean, if you really care for someone, you should tell them before it’s too late.’

‘I don’t plan to ever-’

You barely got behind the corner and froze, forgetting what you were trying to say in the first place.

There clearly, only because you would have to see them when you would be leaving, was your crush hugging that girl in a way that left no doubts about their relationship.

You were left speechless, trying to understand what you saw, even if it couldn’t be more precise.

It felt like a bad dream. You knew realistically, if you never confessed, you didn’t really have any right to feel like someone stole anyone from you, but at that moment, you couldn’t reason with yourself.

Especially not when that girl leaned away and almost immediately looked at you as if she knew you were coming, ‘Ah, what a coincidence, y/n-chan.’

What was worse was that your crush wasn’t even looking at you; he was only looking down at the girl with a dopey smile on his face, clearly like someone who cared a lot about her.

‘Ara, ara,’ said that girl in that sweet voice you long since learned was fake, ‘what’s with those teary eyes?’

Your eyes widened as you realized she wasn’t lying.

You felt your eyes hurt the way they usually did right before you were about to cry. You could even feel the lump inside your throat, which meant if you were to open your mouth and make a single sound, you would start crying like a baby right there in front of your crush, that girl, and Sano.

No! NO! NO! NO!

You must have flinched or moved, ready to bolt it, regardless of how bad it would look, knowing nothing would be more humiliating that crying right now since your crush would find out why.

Suddenly, you felt a firm and grounding touch on your right shoulder, offering comfort even before he spoke confidently and authoritatively, ‘Don’t make fun of her.’

Your heart, which was already speeding from the adrenaline, started to beat even faster, ‘She’s crying because of me.’

Your eyes looked over at Sano and blinked some of the tears, jumping away, but most of them retreated back as you were shocked by his words.

He looked so different now, just as he had when he saved you on the street.

Intense, you thought to yourself. He looked strong enough to make people follow and believe in him. Surprisingly, you included.

‘Huh?’ spoke your crush, but your eyes remained on Sano partly because it relieved you from your heartache to look at him and have him touch your shoulder like that and partly because you feared if you looked back at your crush, you would start to wail.

Then came the chuckle, and your tears were forgotten in favor of shock and anger. It wasn’t a nice fun chuckle. You heard those enough in your lifetime to know that. It was mean, like a mockery.

‘So what? Not only you can’t get a girl, but you also make them cry now?’ ‘joked’ your crush, but you hardly found any humor in such a statement, mainly because being this close to Sano and having his hand on you, you could physically feel him flinch like the comment struck a nerve.

You watched the boy for a while and noticed how he seemed pleased with his joke, and for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t look as handsome or worthy of your admiration. Did he really think so highly and better of himself simply because Sano was involved with gangs? He wasn’t even fearful about the fact just thought it was beneath him.

He had a similar look to the girl who loved to hurt you so much, and at that moment, you couldn’t help but think they probably deserved each other.

‘Now, don’t be like that,’ said that girl in her overly sweet voice, ‘Besides, you shouldn’t make assumptions when you don’t know what really happened. Right y/n-chan?’

You watched the girl feeling your annoyance grow. Why did she always like to toy with you so much? She obviously planned for you to catch them. Did she expect you to confess you were upset because she stole your crush? Did she want you to humiliate Sano by confessing to you and you rejecting him?

You hated how much power she seemed to have.

You brushed your face, annoyed that some tears got away before you said, ‘You’re right,’ you said, and for a moment, you could see how pleased with herself she looked, ‘You shouldn’t make assumptions like that. You’re not very good at them,’ you said, looking at her before you looked at your crush again, ‘In fact, Shinichiro made me really happy with his confession,’ it wasn’t a lie, not really. Even if you were stressed about it, it did feel good that someone chose you like that, ‘He even brought me my favorite animal,’ you squeezed the plushie to your chest, soaking some comfort from it before you smiled and looked at the dark-haired boy by your side who was still holding onto your shoulder.

He could have ratted you out now or accidentally revealed you surprised him, but instead, he just looked at you. His gaze wasn’t soft or surprised, but curious and maybe a hint of playful now that sort of forced you to continue, ‘It’s a beautiful thing when someone offers you their heart. Especially if they’re as amazing as Shinichiro. I just got a bit emotional by it.’

You said and shrugged your shoulders, sparing a single glance at the two noticing how some of the previous smugness wasn’t on their faces anymore.

You turned back at Sano, who turned to look at you as well, now grinning, ‘I don’t mind. You’re pretty even when you cry,’ then while still keeping his hand on your shoulder, his other one reached over and brushed your cheek and some lost tears away, ‘But don’t do it too often. Happy tears or not, I prefer you more when you’re smiling.’

Your mouth shut closed, and you were sure you were red again from how hot your face felt.

The touch was too relaxed, gentle, and familiar for your liking, but you found it easy not to flinch and give up the ruse.

Sano then pulled you closer to his side and looked at the two before you, ‘Later.’

Just like that, he took you with him away without a second glance, wave, or polite wish for a nice day. You heard the girl call after you, but luckily it was after you were a bit away, and Sano’s shoulder blocked the words.

You were a bit out of it all, which was probably why you failed to notice when you appeared in front of Sano’s bike.

‘Here,’ he said and handed you a helmet.

‘What? No way, I can’t ride with you!’ you said, a bit too panicked.

His dark eyes danced across your face momentarily before he asked, ‘Why not?’

You were sure your face spoke loud and clear about your reservations regarding the bike.

‘It’ll be fine,’ he said with a certain ease that would cause you to be annoyed, except his dark eyes looked incredibly grounding with their strange confidence, ‘I took my little brother with me before, and it was fine. He’s eight,’ he grinned when he said that, and you bit your lip to stop it from smiling. You had no business doing that when you were lured into a death trap like this. Come on,’ he assured you and raised his hand with the helmet for you to take once more.

You eyed the thing reluctantly before you looked into his eyes again. There were traces of amusement like he could tell he would convince you. Still, they also had rock-solid confidence as if he knew he would keep you safe when you decided to accept, ‘You can trust me.’

You were still afraid, but it was true, he just supported your little lie back there, so it wasn’t too much of a hassle to have some faith in his riding skills. Not to mention he saved your life the other day.

Your teeth let go of your lip as you very hesitantly said, ‘Promise not to go too fast.’

The boyish grin he shot you was almost worthy of your fears and anxiety over the ride. Almost. It was a pretty grin, but you would like to think you were better than to let something like that get to you so quickly.

‘I promise.’

He tossed that word around so quickly, yet you couldn’t help yourself and believe him. It made you wonder if he didn’t become a gang leader just by smiling at people and promising them stuff. Even you could see the appeal, and you hardly knew the boy and had just had your heart sort of broken by a crush, who hopefully would never know you liked him.

You felt the pressure inside your throat and heaviness inside your eyes once again. Still, you refused to have Sano, a victim of another waterfall of tears for someone who was so rude to him.

You pushed away the warmth from your chest and took the helmet, switching it for your plushie.

Sano gave you a moment before he motioned for you to come closer and helped you secure the helmet responsibly and carefully.

You watched his face so close all the way he worked, wondering how he could look so relaxed, almost carefree yet caring, before you mumbled, ‘Thank you.’

He just grinned at you and knocked his knuckles against the helmet, ‘Don’t worry about it.’

You told him to drop you off at the end of your street to avoid meeting your family, that would surely freak out if they found you riding back with a known delinquent on top of it. You didn’t think it would matter how serious you would be about Sano being a good person.

Once you sat behind him, he glanced back at you, and you could see the slight frown on his face, ‘You need to come closer. I don’t want you to accidentally fall off.’

As if he wanted to demonstrate to you that it could have been an issue, the bike jolted, sending you stumbling against his back, pressing into his body for the third time since you spoke with him less than a week ago.

The experience made you both regret you ever agreed to the ride and throw your arms around his middle.

If anyone saw us now, they would surely think, I’m some desperate lovesick girlfriend, you thought to yourself, realizing you never properly discussed what happened with your crush and that girl. Oddly, you felt relieved as you didn’t wish to dive into all of that just yet.

You heard his easy-going laughter and then felt his hands on your wrist, pealing them a bit from him, ‘Careful, or instead of holding onto me, you’ll spoon me.’

Your face is hot as you let out a tight and embarrassed, ‘Shut up.’

He tried to look at you, but with your red cheeks and crippling fear, you were nowhere near a state you could look back at him.

Sano seemed to accept that, as in the next moment, he started the bike and finally took you guys away.

After a few minutes, the sensation of air against your body and movement got bearable, even enjoyable, if it wasn’t for the fact that your doubts and insecurities caught onto you, repeatedly replying to what happened back in the school. You felt like such an idiot. That girl knew you liked that boy, and she might even know you liked him for a while, and she thoroughly used it against you to make you suffer. You were beyond the point of believing she actually liked him and just so happened to be confessing to him in a place she would know you would see them. You knew her better than that, even if everyone assumed nothing but the best from her.

I wonder what did I ever do to her for her to hate me so much to do those things, you thought to yourself, and before you knew it, you realized you tightened your hold on Sano.

You expected him to loosen it once more, but instead, for a brief moment that he was waiting for a green light, his hand brushed your wrist, and you heard him say, ‘I got you, y/n-chan.’

Having his back to him and knowing he couldn’t see you, it felt all too easy and right to lean forward and press the top of your helmet against his back below his neck. It felt comforting. Something you would never have guessed the leader of the Black Dragon could make you feel, but he did.

You snuggled closer to him with the excuse that you didn’t want to fall down from the bike at that speed. Still, you would be lying if you didn’t admit that when Sano stopped at the corner you instructed him to, you felt slightly disappointed that it was all over.

‘Thanks for the ride,’ you said and returned his spare helmet to him.

When Sano reached for it, his palms pressed against yours, and you noticed his relaxed expression was gone. Instead, he looked rather grave, saying, ‘You shouldn’t cry for those people. They don’t deserve a single one of your tears, and you already gave them plenty.’

You wanted to check if you didn’t start to cry again, feeling a bit like an idiot, but Sano’s hands kept on holding onto yours on his helmet, ‘Yeah?’

Your eyes blinked, hypnotized a bit by his pretty dark ones that looked so convincing it did something to your insides, making it hard to focus on anything else.

Weird, you thought to yourself trying to brush it all as you were emotional about everything that happened today.

You cleared your throat, trying to appear normal and not like a lunatic, ‘O-okay.’

He finally took the helmet just as right about the last person you wished to see you called out your name. Your family was alright in general. Much better than when you were a kid, but you still couldn’t help but often feel like an outsider who kept most of her struggles to herself. You just couldn’t bring yourself confine in them as quickly as you knew other people could.

When you heard your name being called by one of your family members, you knew it would be troublesome if they saw you with someone like Sano.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew your worst fears came to life when you found yourself sitting beside Sano at your kitchen table. At the same time, your family questioned the two of you about everything and anything.

What a nosy bunch, you thought to yourself, irritated over how rude some of the questions were. 

You weren’t even sure how it happened. One moment you and Sano were about to part ways, and the next, your relative dragged the boy into your home, yelling, ‘Y/n brought home her boyfriend!’ They made it sound as if you brought home a winning lottery ticket for some reason. 

Luckily, Sano didn’t seem to take any offense either at being forced to dinner or the rude question. He quickly joked and even made fun of himself, keeping the mood somewhat positive and pleasant for everyone.

‘Ah, well, that’s nice. This one sure worked hard on making that chocolate for you.’

It got on your nerve relatively fast how lovesick they made it out to appear when the reality was somewhere entirely else about the whole Valentin’s chocolate. But you held it back, quietly playing with your food instead. Your family meant well, but it often felt you were the odd one to their loud and cheerful personas. You were simply different.

‘I’m glad. It was delicious,’ said Sano, ‘I got her a plushie, but it almost doesn’t feel like it’s enough.’

‘Oh, that cute thing. It’s so nice you knew her favorite animal.’

‘I still can’t believe those girls remember that,’ you mumbled mostly to yourself since it seemed no one at the table was really paying attention to you. 

True, once upon a time, you were friends with the girls, who were now soulless followers, but even back then, it felt like they ignored what you had to say.

‘No,’ blurted Sano, and you looked at him for the first time since this annoying dinner started, ‘I saw the keychain on your school bag the other day and figured you had to like it enough to carry it around.’

He offered you a boyish grin, and you couldn’t help but stare at him before you returned to your food, puzzled. It shocked you that when he was saving you on the street, he had time to notice that keychain you bought your first year in high school. He wanted to give you something special you would like instead of just some sweets. It seemed like a lot an effort to put in for someone you didn’t even consider girlfriend material before. You doubted Sano thought about you all that much until the day he saved you, and he confessed you weren’t on his radar when he was asking his classmates and some girls in his school out, so the plushie meant a lot. 

Then again, it also seemed like a lot an effort to make chocolate for some delinquent who helped you out once.

You glanced at him again when he fell into another series of twenty questions with your family, and you couldn’t help but feel happy about his presence this close to you.

Weird, you told yourself not for the first time that day and finished your food.

Your good mood didn’t last, as someone pointed out that Sano would have a lot of work to try to figure out what you were thinking because of how quiet you were.

‘I’m not quiet, just selective about people I talk with,’ you clarified, helping pick up the dishes. Still, for the first time, you were excused and told to show Sano your room and toy collection, which spiked your blood pressure because they were not toys, even if they were stuffed animals. It showed just how worried your family must have been about you staying forever alone if they were this desperate to get you a boyfriend. They didn’t mind a boy coming into your room one bit.

‘I’m glad you thought I was worthy,’ said Sano, and you rolled your eyes before he continued with a smirk, ‘It makes me feel even more special when you talk to me.’

You paused on your way to your room, realizing what he was talking about, and shrugged your shoulders, ‘You’re alright.’

He continued grinning as if you told him the highest praise before you finally showed him your room. It perfectly represented you and your interests down to your favorite animal collection.

You settled your new addition between the old ones and spoke, ‘I’m still surprised you noticed that keychain the other day on the street. Everything happened so fast.’

Sano, who was busy analyzing the items on your desk, hardly looked at you, ‘Nah, I saw it on your bag all the time in school.’

It was strange to think he noticed you before he helped you.

Before everything that happened.

You noticed him too, but he was a gang leader member, so that was a given.

He didn’t stay long, for which you were eternally grateful as you weren’t sure how much weirdness you could handle for one day, and you didn’t even start on your homework.

As you wished him goodbye by his bike, he tossed you another one of his boyish grins that made his face very handsome, ‘I’ll come to pick you up tomorrow morning too, alright? I already promised,’ he nodded at your house, where your family sort of bullied him into picking you up for school, so you wouldn’t have to wake up as early as you did.

‘You don’t have to do that. They were just being obnoxious,’ you assured him, but he shook his head, ‘It’s fine. I don’t mind.’

Your eyes moved away because it felt a tiny bit uncomfortable to see him look at you so calmly before you noticed he didn’t put on his helmet, ‘Aren’t you going to put it on?’

‘No, it’ll ruin my hair,’ he said, putting his hands up as if showing his hair to some imaginary audience. His hairstyle was a bit funny, but it suited him. Still, you couldn’t help yourself but comment, ‘A helmet is a part of your bike for a reason. Are you going home or to meet someone?’

‘Why?’

‘Well, if you don’t have any gang duties or are going to meet friends, then it doesn’t really matter if you mess up your hair,’ you said before you shrugged your shoulders and sighed in defeat, ‘Wear your helmet, Sano-san. Please,’ you said and looked away, feeling the heat rising into your cheeks over your request. He could do whatever he wanted. You just wished he would do it safely.

‘How about we make a deal?’ he asked, and you forced your eyes back to his face.

He was grinning, and his dark eyes shone with amusement, ‘You’ll call me Shinichiro again, and I’ll wear my helmet when I’m on my way home.’

You opened your mouth, recalling how you used his first name so carelessly when lying to those two at school. 

The fact that his face looked so happy now did something to you, but you didn’t allow the warm sensation to make you weak, ‘How about I call you Shin-kun, and you wear your helmet all the time?’

‘You drive a hard bargain, y/n-chan,’ he said, but he looked nothing but satisfied, ‘Fine, I’ll bite.’

He put the helmet over his pompadour, obviously ruining it, ‘Let’s give it a try.’

You nodded and stepped closer, knocking your knuckles against the helmet on top of his head before you offered him a small smile, ‘Thank you, Shin-kun.’

You hoped he could tell you meant more than just the helmet, and based on the softness that entered his dark eyes, you knew he did.

You stepped away and waved at him before he disappeared from your side, realizing it was the third time you watched him leave you, but for the first time, you weren’t annoyed.

You returned to your home and dodged the family’s attempts to tease you about saying goodbye to your boyfriend until you got to the security of your room, where you realized something.

We didn’t really talk about the whole pretend boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Everything happened so fast, and you could tell Sano-Shin didn’t want to cause you more anguish by talking about what happened in school. Your family just assumed he had to be a boyfriend since you made him chocolate, and he brought you home with a plushie. You attempted to say it wasn’t like that. Still, they just thought you were being secretive and shy as usual, so after the first failed try, you let them believe whatever they wanted.

It’s unreal, so I’m sure it won’t be a big deal, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t have been more wrong if you wanted to.

Shin followed his promise and came to pick you up, much to your family’s delight.

Oddly, you were glad to see him. You wouldn’t say you were a total loner, but you knew you lacked severely in the friends’ department. You used to think you had a lot of friends, but with time you realized it didn’t make you friends just because someone was polite or even friendly with someone.

You figured that the fact that you felt cozy inside when you saw the boy waiting for you by his bike was probably because it was a while since someone wanted your company for more than a moment.

The ride was less scary for you than the first one, and you even found yourself smiling a lot at the fact that Shin brought a spare helmet for you.

When he got you to school, you patiently waited for him to style his hair, giving him occasional pointers. You had the time since the boy showed up with some time to spare, ‘Here, let me.’

You did your best not to touch him anywhere but his hair. You combed and styled it as best as possible before stepping away from him, noticing how red his cheeks and face looked.

You bit the inside of your mouth to hide your own smile and embarrassment while Shin stated it was good and you could go.

When you entered the school with Shin by your side, you immediately felt everyone’s eyes on you. It was more than a bit unnerving, and when their looks got replaced with whispers, your heart sank at some of the rude things the students said like I bet he’s paying her, or I didn’t think she was so easy.

That last one earned the boy a sucker punch so fast, you didn’t even catch it until he was on the ground with Shin standing above him, ‘Don’t ever say that again.’

His voice was surreally icy, unlike anything he had used around you until now. Even when he was pissed at the driver who almost hit you or your ex-crush, he still remained human. This made him sound appropriately dangerous.

You didn’t bother sparing the boy on the ground another look, and instead, you found yourself taking hold of Shin’s arm, trying not to blush too hard about it all, ‘Let’s go. He’s not worth it.’

‘You’re right,’ he said, and only when he looked at you did you see his tense and dangerous vibe fade a bit.

However, he didn’t leave and instead called out, ‘Listen up! If I ever hear anyone of you say stuff like that again, you’re going to regret it.’

You felt a shiver rush through your body, and you tried to distract yourself by pulling Shin with you further into the building, ‘Let’s just go, please.’

You didn’t say it out loud, but it meant a lot to you that Shin stood up for you like that. You realized yesterday he was much better than people thought about him. You included. Initially, at least. 

Before you split up, he patted your shoulder with a grin as his previous dangerous vibe was utterly gone, ‘Wait for me after school, yeah?’

You couldn’t hardly keep the smile on your face when you nodded. 

It felt good to have someone in your corner again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since then, it seemed whoever was talking about you did so in secret because you could still feel gazes on you at times, but no one dared to be loud and rude to you anymore.

Well, at least I don’t have to hear what they think of me; you told yourself. You were used to being ignored or shit-talked like this by the followers and that mean girl, so it wasn’t all that different. Plus, you would be lying if you didn’t find some amusement in the fact that whenever you lifted your eyes to glance at someone who mentioned your name, their face went pale. Their eyes widened in fear that you would rat them out to Shin. 

Shin and his gang could make some money by protecting bullied middle and high schoolers. It couldn’t be the worst gig. 

You felt good about things for several days until you went to the restroom. As it seemed you and Shin stumbled upon a specific routine with him giving you rides, there wasn’t anything different about that day. You spoke with some friendly classmates. You could feel just how eager they were to ask you about everything that happened with Shin, but they didn’t, so you didn’t bother bringing it up. It didn’t seem like their business anyway.

So far, neither of you mentioned you weren’t an actual couple. Simply letting people talk whatever they wanted, given how much praise you noticed Shin got from some of his male classmates and friends the first day, you wondered if it maybe improved his status or something if people thought he finally landed a girlfriend.

It felt strangely rude to say you weren’t together for some reason, and since no one asked you directly, you figured you would just let them think whatever they wanted to. 

The moment you heard the door to the restroom open while you were still in the stall, you knew you would be in trouble.

Afterward, as you sat on the closed toilet long after the last class was over, you debated how long it would take for someone to find you. You figured that girl and her followers must have told every other girl not to use this restroom, and it seemed no matter how loudly you called for help, no one could hear you.

As mean as it was, it was primarily annoying to be left stranded in a locked stall. You were just grateful those girls weren’t childish enough to try and get you wet like they once did in middle school. It could have been a lot worse, but you doubted it would do you any good to be left inside the restroom all night. Indeed, if you didn’t come home, your family would notice, but who was to say they would realize something must have happened in school and not on your way home?

Hopefully, they won’t think Shin did anything to you, you wondered to yourself.

When the door opened, you were conflicted if you should scream or not since it could have been one of those girls returning to do something worse to you.

‘Y/N-chan?’ called out Shin’s distinguished voice, and you breathed a sigh of absolute relief, feeling your eyes tear up for the first time since you realized those girls locked you inside the stall, ‘I’m here.’

You immediately heard a loud hit that shook the stall a bit and then found the door could finally be opened to reveal the dark-haired boy, ‘Are you alright? One of my captain’s girls came to say-Hey, hey, are you hurt?’

You shook your head and covered your face, unable to stop yourself from crying. You were surprised that when you saw him, you felt so pathetic and grateful all at once, and given that you were really stressed out and scared about what would happen to you, it just all came crashing down. 

‘I-I…shit,’ suddenly you felt Shin take hold of your arm, and in the next moment, you were pressed against his solid and warm body while his hand kept a grip on the back of your head, ‘I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, but I’m here now, and you’re alright, okay?’

You couldn’t speak as all that came out were sobs and hiccups revealing your anguish, so for now, you simply nodded against him, hoping your tears weren’t soaking his clothes too much. A part of you felt awful letting out all those thoughts and feelings you spend the last hour or so trying to contain. Still, a more significant portion of you felt nothing but relief and gratitude for the dark-haired boy.

Shin kept you in his arms for a really long time, and you would happily remain there even longer. Still, you felt it was time to let go as the embarrassment from what you were doing caught onto your weak heart, ‘Thank you.’

You stepped back, and he let you, but his hand merely moved from your back to your arm, ‘Are you alright?’

You nodded without meeting his eyes.

He kept on looking at you while you refused to look back at him until he sighed and spoke, ‘So girls, huh? Who would have thought?’

You finally look at his face only to shoot him a look, ‘Only a boy wouldn’t know what they could do. Besides, this was nothing.’

His face was grave; you could tell by how he narrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t like your words, ‘So this happened before?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘This and other things. I shouldn’t have gone to the restroom alone. It’s my fault.’

He squeezed your shoulder, ‘Be honest. Is it because everyone thinks…well…,’ he didn’t finish, but the slight flush of his cheeks and his voice crack was enough for you to guess what he meant.

We’re together.  

You shook your head. Even if that was the case, you wouldn’t want to hurt Shin like that. Not when he was the only one who helped you so much and did so many little and small things for you. And it was barely days when you started talking to him, ‘No, they didn’t like me since middle school. I don’t know why.’

He was silent for a moment before he surprised you with the confident look that took over his face. One that spoke of authority and seriousness.

‘This won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.’

You didn’t have any heat inside you to argue or tell him he couldn’t really help you. He might have been a gang leader, but you doubted he had the guts or ruthlessness to threaten or hurt a girl. Even if a small sinister and exhausted from all of these mind games, part of you wished he would.

He took you home and told you he would also pick you up the next day. You barely acknowledged that and simply wished him a safe trip before you went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Shin could tell you were over what happened and didn’t wish to bring it up, so he dropped it and instead talked to you about some unknown facts he learned about the animals in your collections.

You figured he was trying to cheer you up, so you let him reward him by asking him a few things about bikes that you quickly found was his endless pit of knowledge. You would be lying if you said you were all that interested in the subject, but something about the way Shin’s eyes seemed to shine with life and passion when he spoke got under your skin and made it impossible not to crave to see it more.

That girl and her followers must have found another victim because they largely ignored you for a while.

However, little by little, you notice some odd occurrences happening around you.

It started when one day after Shin dropped you off but decided to skip, you found two of your classmates furiously cleaning your desk.

When they saw they were caught, they bowed to you and quickly explained, ‘Someone spilled something, y/l/n-san.’

‘But we managed to clean it almost all up.’

You gratefully thanked them, confused by their generosity since, apart from school stuff, they never bothered to speak with you.

A little after that, you found your shoe locker opened, but apart from your shoes, there was nothing there, and even if that seemed silly, you thought one of the 2nd year boys was standing guard over it.

A week later, you watched as your classmates pushed one of those girls that was a follower out of your classroom. She shot you a nasty look as she was passing you by, but she didn’t say anything, and when you came into the room, you found two other classmates, all boys picking up your things off the floor.

They didn’t tell you anything, and you were too confused to say anything either, so you just helped them with the rest of your stuff onto your desk and allowed them to return to their seats.

Then came the day you felt brave enough to go to the restroom again. It was empty, so you tried to be as quick as possible, and just as you were about to leave, you heard someone yell outside.

Reluctantly, you exited, hoping you weren’t about to get jumped or something, only to find five boys, only one from your class, with their backs toward the restroom, keeping any of the girls outside from entering by the looks of it.

‘What’s going on?’ you finally found the guts to ask while the girls were allowed to enter, only for one of the boys to hesitantly admit, ‘The Black Dragon issued a warning that if anything happened to you around the school, they would come after every guy who didn’t protect you.’

You were left speechless.

That’s a joke, right?

With the bit of spare time you had left, you went to seek out Shin. Until now, you only ever saw him on your way to and from school. He was surprisingly punctual, only sometimes coming late in the morning, but with the excuse that he couldn’t get his younger brother, Mikey, out of bed fast enough.

‘Did you…,’ you started unsure how to form your question feeling strangely tender inside over what that student revealed to you.

Shin was looking at you; all the while, his other classmates silently kept their distance as if they knew better than to try and eavesdrop, ‘Did you tell your gang to threaten guys into protecting me?’

He raised his hand, touching the top of the doorway, looking as relaxed as he always had with his dark eyes softening at your sight, ‘I gave you my word I wouldn’t let anything like that happen to you ever again. I would be a shitty leader if I didn’t stick to it,’ he grinned.

You watched him feeling your face warming up. Everything from his words to his leisure posture to what he did to ensure you didn’t have to fear your bullies caused you to feel beyond happy to have him in your life and like you didn’t deserve him at all.

Your heart speeded up, and the unfamiliar urge to reach out and touch him, somehow, anywhere, just so that you would be connected arose, confusing you. You never had a need like this before.

‘You’re too kind,’ you found yourself saying, knowing your cheeks must have been flushed, ‘Are you sure you’re a delinquent?’ you asked instead of any soft and cheesy words that came into your mind.

He hummed, his dark eyes never leaving yours, ‘Well, hopefully, none of those guys will slip up, so I won’t have to show you just how much of a delinquent I can be.’

You had to cover the side of your face and look away because you felt far too warm and fluffy inside over his words for some reason.

It’s that stupid voice, for sure. 

‘What do you like to eat?’ you asked him, and he blinked at you, puzzled by the question, ‘What?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’ll make you something. You…you really did a lot for me.’

When he grinned at you, you felt your heart speed up even more and wondered how long an appropriate time was to forget about one crush and gain another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t really plan to discuss what happened to you in middle school or how being on your own in high school affected you. But with Shin and the hours you spent in one another’s company when you learned more and more about his life, they just sort of came out. 

‘You must really hate her that she even took your crush from you,’ he said as he stopped eating the food you got him. You didn’t always make him something, but whenever you agreed upon it up front, you did, and occasionally, you even tossed some sweets for him and his siblings or captains.

You thought about it, ‘I hated that she made me cry and got under my skin, but…I sometimes see them in class, and I don’t really care,’ you admitted, ‘It was just a crush anyway, and I’m kind of grateful I never confessed.’

‘Yeah?’ he asked and had a strange look behind his dark eyes, ‘What if he would accept?’

‘I wouldn’t get to know you,’ you said before you could stop yourself and quickly turned away, ‘You know, since what boyfriend would like his girlfriend to hang with a gang leader and all and – and I would never have gotten those girls off my back so-’

Shin tossed his head back and laughed. 

You would have given him a piece of your mind, but you were too hypnotized by how beautiful he looked at that moment sitting in the school’s room, looking so happy and carefree.

‘I get it, y/n,’ he said and started eating again, smiling with a look that made you want to toss your arms around him and pull him closer.

Your cheeks were on fire again, but even if just a tiny bit, so were his, ‘I’m sort of glad none of those girls I liked ever accepted my confession either. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.’

Your heart pounded so hard that even people outside the roof had to hear it.

You wished all so desperately to be braver at that moment than you were and reach out to touch him somehow but found it impossible to do so even when he got you to feel all mellow inside like this. 

Back in middle school, when you were forced to postpone your confession to your crush, you merely told yourself you would do it later. It wasn’t really a promise back then, not even a proper note for the future. It was more like an empty thought. One that wouldn’t cause you too much anguish if you never followed through with it because how could it? 

Now, however, looking at Shin, the most beautiful and unique boy, you have ever met, you refuse to let it stay just a thought and idea for the future. 

No, now, you would make it a promise. Something you couldn’t cower over forever. Something you would most definitely follow through with because how could you not?

Soon, you promised yourself in silence before offering him a kind smile feeling your entire heart agreed with you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes after you started to hang out more in school too, you found yourself in an unfortunate situation with some members of his gang. It was an unlucky coincidence, really.

You were alone in the grocery store when two tall and intimidating-looking gang members caught you and tried to steal your wallet. Until then, you only ever saw the members of the infamous Black Dragons around the neighborhood, but with the exception of Shin, you never spoke to any of them. 

You held your breath, dreading what they would do with you and hoping they would just take your money and leave when one of them pulled open your wallet.

His eyes doubled in size, and he started to stutter, ‘Y-y-y-our n-name is-is-’

You became less fearful, and it seemed his partner was just as confused as you before he snatched your wallet from the boy and started to panic, too, ‘Y/L/N… that’s your name? OH NO!’

Suddenly both boys were on their knees, bowing to you and begging you for mercy, ‘PLEASE, DON’T TELL THE KING ABOUT THIS!’

‘HE’LL KILL US!’

‘HE’LL TELL HIS CAPTAINS TO KILL US!’

‘WE DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOU!’

‘BUT NOT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT YOU!’ 

‘HE DOES!’ 

‘ALL THE TIME!’ 

‘WE’RE SORRY!’ 

‘WE’RE STUPID!’

You didn’t even have time to say anything before they returned your wallet, snatched your bags, and told you they would walk them home for you.

You told yourself you wouldn’t say anything about them but then decided you would feel sort of shitty if you knew something like this could happen to anyone else.

So far, you didn’t have a reason to use the phone number you got from Shin, but you supposed today’s misadventure was a good enough reason.

‘Moshi, moshi,’ greeted a child on the other end, and for a moment, you were unsure what to do until you heard a slight groan, ‘Not funny, you pedo-’

‘Wait!’ you called out, startled, ‘Sorry, is… Shin there?’

‘Who’s asking?’

You opened and closed your mouth. Throughout the last couple of weeks, the two of you never discussed the fact that everyone around the school assumed you two were a couple. It wasn’t like anyone else brought it up, so you two just sort of carried on getting to know each other and became close. You would consider yourself friends, but the truth was you knew you were crushing on him a lot by now. Not to mention, he did try to confess to you after Valentine’s Day. It was, overall, a strange situation, and you were too shy and awkward to bring it up.

‘Well?’ demanded the child, and you cleared your throat, trying not to blush too hard, ‘Just tell him y/n is calling.’

‘His girlfriend? Huh, so you’re real? Though he made you up,’ he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his bored tone.

‘Hey,’ he said with much more amusement, ‘Say, how come you decided to date someone as weak and stupid as my brother?’

You grimaced, recalling some stories about Shin’s younger brother, Mikey, that now made a lot more sense when you heard how he spoke about his older brother. ‘Well, I can’t speak much about his strength. I only saw him punch one guy for me,’ you admitted.

‘Oh yeah?’ asked Mikey almost gleefully.

‘Yeah,’ you nodded even if the kid couldn’t hear you, ‘Uh, he said something untrue and horrible about me, and Shin really let him have it. He ended up on the ground with a busted lip.’

Mikey chuckled, ‘Nice. But that guy had to be pretty weak. My brother isn’t a good fighter.’

‘I wasn’t able to tell,’ you said, wondering if he wasn’t a good fighter, how could he have become the leader of Black Dragon before you carried on, ‘And he isn’t stupid, just lazy. I corrected some of his homework, and if he invested more time into it, he would be fine.’

‘Grandpa always calls him a slacker too,’ agreed Mikey, and you smiled to yourself, thinking about Shin, unable to stop, ‘To be completely honest. I find your older brother a pretty great and good person. He helped me out so much, and that was even before he properly got to know me. But even before we became…uh, close, I felt he wasn’t all that bad. I can also tell he cares about all of you a lot because he always smiles when he talks about you guys.’

You heard someone say something to Mikey.

‘Alright, I’ll give you my brother now. Come around. I’ll show you how a really strong person fights.’

You grinned upon hearing that, ‘Alright. Bye, Mikey-chan.’

Just before Shin came to the phone, you heard the kid tell him loudly, ‘Your girlfriend is already cooler than you. You better beg her not to break up with you.’

‘Don’t be jealous, Mikey. If you ask me nicely, I’ll tell you all about my sweet moves to get a cool girl like that.’

You giggled a bit as you heard Shin’s voice, ‘Sorry about that. My brother can be a little shit.’

‘It’s alright. He’s funny. I’m curious about what sweet moves you want to show him. Getting rejected twenty times and stuttering through a confession?’ you realized too late you might have opened the door to the discussion you never really had before you heard him let out a fake whine, ‘So cruel, y/n-chan.’

You smiled and closed your eyes in relief before speaking again, ‘Listen, I won’t tell you who it was, and I don’t really want you to punish them, but I think you should know two of your members tried to rob me today?’

‘WHAT?!’

‘Nothing happened. They found my student card and realized who I was. They apologized and even swore they would never do that again, and I know it isn’t my business, and I don’t want to.’

‘Are you hurt?’

You frowned, confused, ‘What? No, you’re not listening.’

‘Are. You. Hurt?’ Shin asked again, this time far firmer, almost like he was angry.

You sighed, wishing you didn’t say anything now, ‘No.’

‘I’m coming over.’

‘It’s late,’ you said and glanced out of the window, looking at the dark sky.

‘I’m still coming over,’ he said seriously before he eased his tone a bit, ‘Can I?’

It could have been troublesome, but you didn’t have it in you to tell him no when he sounded like that, so you nodded, ‘Alright, we can talk for a bit outside the house, okay?’

Shin showed up less than twenty minutes later, obviously going far too fast.

Once he got off his bike carelessly, almost letting it fall to the ground, he was by your side in a second, putting his palms on your face, his dark eyes filled with concern and seriousness, trying to see if you were hurt before he lowered his gaze to the rest of your body, ‘I told you I’m not hurt.’

‘You also said you weren’t bullied before, remember?’ he asked, and you bit your lip because it was true, and you didn’t like to be reminded of it.

Once he genuinely deemed you unharmed, he let you go and stepped back with a loud sigh, ‘I’m sorry. Sometimes these things get out of hand. I was worried they were rough with you.’

You shook your head, your annoyance fading as you could see just how worried he was and why he was acting this way. You explained what happened again and simply asked him if he could tell his gang not to drag girls into dark alleys.

How bizarre that I get to ask that of a known gang leader.

Shin nodded, ‘I’ll ensure they won’t ever do that.’

You smiled, knowing all too well that when Shin said something like that, he meant it.

He then sighed and brushed his hair, which you only then realized wasn’t styled but sort of effortlessly messy in a good way.

‘Your hair looks nice today,’ you said before you could stop yourself and then covered half of your face before you looked away, ‘Sorry.’

He chuckled, and you could tell a lot of stress fell off his shoulders before he stepped closer to you and brushed it again more aggressively, ‘You think so? Want to touch it?’

You were embarrassed, but at the same time, you felt tempted to make him too.

You reached out and ran your fingers through his obviously not that long ago washed hair. It wasn’t the first time you touched it, but it felt nicer tonight than when it was soaking with hair gel, ‘I like it.’

Your eyes met his half expecting more teasing or to find him blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, but instead, you saw him with a rather gloomy look.

‘What’s the matter? I like your pompadour style too,’ you assured him quickly, worried you offended his most beloved look, but he shook his head, ‘It’s not that. It’s…my mom is sick.’

Before he said it, you figured out that he only ever spoke about his grandfather as the sole adult around the house. You knew she was still alive since he mentioned his father had passed away five years ago. Still, his mother was a bit of a mystery until your own family discussed Sano’s one evening, mentioning something about her being in a hospital for a long time now.

‘It’s why I freaked out so much,’ he explained, ‘She’s not getting better, and if you…,’ he didn’t answer, just shook his head, but you didn’t need him to anyway.

Looking at him was heartbreaking. All the more because he already did so much for you, and here you were, powerless and useless to do the same.

Without anything else to offer, you offered yourself as you put your arms around his neck and pulled his body to yours. You couldn’t recall the last time or ever if you ever hugged someone who wasn’t your family. But with the way Shin practically sank into your embrace, almost crushing you with how tightly he was holding onto you, trying to get you even closer to him, you were sure you were doing a good job.

‘Shin,’ you said finally and felt him hum before he pulled away enough to look at your face.

You offered him a small smile, ‘You should introduce me to your captains. So, they know who to look out for.’

‘Yeah?’ asked the boy, his smile returning.

Given how much on fire your face felt, you had no illusion about how red it must have looked, but even so, you two didn’t let go of each other. 

You nodded and decided to at least somehow hide your face by pulling him closer again, and he did the same.

The incredible feeling of warmth and safety inside your weak belly was almost enough to make up for the merciless teasing you had to endure from your family after you got back into the house. 

Almost 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin introduced you to his captains a week later on a day you didn’t have school. He started to skip more and more classes. Still, he always made a point to give you rides and occasionally even come back for lunches, if only to spend them in your presence. 

Meeting gang members should have been terrifying, and some of you wondered if you should invest some money into a paper spray. Still, once they all gave you a very formal bow that made you feel like you were in some royal in a historical drama, they seemed to decide on a much friendlier approach looking at you like you were a new animal in the zoo. 

‘Ah, she’s pretty, Shin-chan,’ said one with strangely alluring hair of three colors, ‘You’re going to have cute babies.’

‘Oi!’ warned him, Shin, and the only reason you didn’t die of embarrassment was that Shin was blushing just as hard as you. 

‘Seriously, are you blackmailing this poor girl, Shin?’ asked another one stepping closer to you with a far less friendly smile than the others.

Before Shin could answer, you took hold of his hand and asked, ‘And where’s your girlfriend?’

It earned you a few chuckles, and the captain, who asked for some teasing from his comrades, but Shin grinned at you and pulled your closer, looking really impressed.

He kept you close to him since that. Being in the sea of boys in dark Black Dragons uniforms, you didn’t mind it all that much, preferring that you could count on his hand on your arm or your own on his for comfort when things felt too overwhelming. 

‘They liked you,’ he said as he dropped you home later than usual that day, looking like he wouldn’t mind if the two of you could spend even more time together. 

You felt the same. 

‘I like them too,’ you admitted, ‘Some more than others.’

He grinned before an almost shy look took over his face, and his dark eyes glanced somewhere into the distance, ‘I hope you don’t plan to like them…more than me.’

You opened and closed your mouth. Right there at the tip of your tongue was, ‘I don’t think I ever liked anyone as much as I like you,’ but you just couldn’t force it out. 

It seemed the moment carried and was threatening to become awkward, which you would hate so much because of how good it felt to be with Shin. 

Unsure if you would ruin it or not, you acted before thinking and pressed your lips in a quick motion against his cheek, feeling just how heated and soft his skin was from an entire day under the sun outside. 

Even if you would probably die out of mortification if someone ever found out, you felt crossed with yourself later on that you didn’t aim closer to his mouth. 

You didn’t dare to see his reaction and just let a high-pitched bye before running to your house, grateful none of your family saw that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither of you mentioned your little stunt afterward, and things returned to their routine. The anxious coward part of you was grateful since you would hate to mess something up when having Shin in your life brought you so much joy. But there was a every day getting, stronger part that still craved for more. 

Almost as if that girl recognized you were dealing with something in your new relationship, she started talking at you. She couldn’t speak to you since you found the new willpower to ignore her despite how rude it made you seem. That being said, you often heard her fake sweet voice carry around the hallways after you. 

‘You know, y/n-chan. Being with Sano-san isn’t really good for you if you act like this,’ she said during one of those days that Shin skipped school, forcing you to eat with some of your friendlier classmates instead. 

‘You might want to think about all that bad behavior rubbing off on you. Your family probably wouldn’t take too kindly to learn that you changed so much,’ said the girl. She wasn’t wrong. Even if you didn’t like it, if your family heard from anyone that you were acting badly, they would indeed believe them and blame you. Even if right now they were over the moon that their weirdo-daughter found herself a boyfriend.

You watched her smug face smiling at you with that fake kind smile feeling nothing but disgust and anger. You hated that she still held power over you to threaten something, in this case, someone you cared for so much. 

‘You know,’ you said while looking at her and some of her followers who came into the classroom, realizing a lot of people were silently listening to you two, ‘I used to wonder why did you hate me so much to bully me so severely-‘

‘Bully, y/n-chan? You must be confused-’

‘But now I couldn’t care less,’ you admitted knowing for a while now it was the truth. Being with Shin and knowing he would look out for you in any way he could bring you a sense of security and power, for lack of better words. You felt strong enough for once against whatever this brat would toss at you. 

She pressed her lips into a new tight smile, obviously upset you spoke to her in such a way. 

‘You’re not a good person,’ you glanced at every single one of the followers who came to your classroom, ‘neither of you are. And honestly, your opinion doesn’t matter to me one bit anymore. In less than a month, we’ll be graduating, and that will be the last time I ever have to see your face or hear that silly laughter of yours,’ you looked away, returning to your lunch box, deciding that you were happy for once in a very long time. You refused to let them take that from you by causing you to stress and worry about things you couldn’t control. So be it if that brat and her followers wanted to talk to your parents. If they wanted to believe her, so be it. You felt enough of an outsider with both of those groups to know you would still choose to have Shin in your life.

You heard her, and some other girls chuckle or snicker, ‘I don’t know what makes you say such things. Perhaps you’re just tired from staying up too late with delinquents, who are up to no good.’ 

You refused to dignify her with an answer knowing she would just turn it around. 

You expected them to giggle some more and leave before you heard one of your classmates say, ‘Hey if you’re done here, you can just leave already.’

The girls were silenced, and everyone, including you, glanced at your classmate, your former crush, ‘This isn’t your classroom. You don’t see us occupying your space with your obnoxious chatters.’

You were surprised, to say the least, since you thought the two were dating, but maybe that wasn’t the same. Not that it matters all that much to you now. 

‘That’s right,’ agreed some other classmates, and you turned to look at him, ‘And stop messing with y/l/n all the time. It’s pathetic.’

Your classmate, who was eating with you, also said, ‘If you’re so jealous, you might want to rethink your attitude.’

‘We all know you 3-B girls are just annoying bullies,’ said someone else before she not so quietly whispered, ‘No wonder Sano would prefer y/l/n. She’s a much better person than her.’

You didn’t really know what to say to all that, and it seemed that girl and her followers didn’t either after being called out like that. 

They left in silence, looking at least a little bit ashamed or maybe sad, but you meant what you said since you couldn’t really be bothered by them and their mind games anymore. 

To show your gratitude to everyone, you thanked everyone, and the lunch went on much calmer.

Later when Shin came to drop you home, you told him what happened, and he offered you a grin and knocked against your helmet, ‘That’s good. But if they still cause you trouble, let me know. I’ll figure something out.’

‘Shin, you can’t beat up girls.’ You knew he wouldn’t do it, and even if some of his gang subordinates would willing to ruffle them up, you didn’t want anyone to get hurt or in trouble because of you. 

‘Of course,’ said Shin sounding almost offended you would think that, ‘But I would fight with their boyfriends and crushes. Maybe older brothers.’

‘All of them, huh?’

‘Yup, every last one if it meant it would protect you,’ he said proudly, and you hid your face against his back and put your arms tightly around his middle, ‘Thank you, Shinichiro.’

You never would have thought you would feel blessed to have a delinquent in your life, but you truly felt that way. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the graduation came and passed, you already met most of Shin’s family. 

You visited his place as once your family let out you and Sano were together, his grandfather demanded you come for dinner too. 

Mikey later blurted out that it was because, like everyone else in the family, they didn’t think you were real, which got Shin to curse at them and then apologize. His family was lovely, and you liked them a lot. You even got a chance to accompany them once to visit Shin’s mother in the hospital. She cried when she said she could tell you were a good person, and she was grateful he had someone like you. She even thanked you, causing you to cry like a baby once you managed to get into the hallway startling the rest of his family. Still, Shin just chuckled and patted your head, explaining you tended to get emotional like that. 

Either way, it wasn’t a big deal for you to come to his home that day, but you made it a big deal by putting on your new summer dress and spending more time on your hair and makeup. You kept it decent, though. Shin was around you long enough to know what sort of a girl you were, so there was no point to start pretending to be someone else. He seemed to have liked you just fine up until now. 

I just hope he’ll continue to like me after this too.

You found him in his room, already familiar with the layout of his home, and allowed to come inside by Emma, who hugged your middle and had you promise to come to listen to some music with her before you would leave. 

‘Hey, I wasn’t expecting you today. I didn’t forget, did I?’ he asked, sitting up from his bed. After graduation and even a little before that, he stopped using hair gel and allowed his hair a messier and wilder hairstyle. You didn’t mind it. He looked handsome all the same.

You shook your head, ‘Don’t worry. I just thought I stop by.’ 

You started university and found a part-time job while Shin went to work full-time. It made the both of you to have less time for one another, but you still made it work. It was good neither of you minded all that much to spend hours with the other while he was busy doing something else. 

‘So what’s up? Do you want to watch a movie?’ he asked and sat on the floor so you could do the same. In your mind, you pretty much planned the whole thing out, but it seemed to actually be here, and seeing the young man was proving to be a hassle. 

‘Er, sure in a bit?’ you agreed hesitantly. 

He grinned and arched his eyebrow, clearly mocking you a bit about your weird behavior. You didn’t blame him. 

Your pulse pounded harder as you forced yourself to move closer, cursing at yourself that you chickened out during graduation when there was noise and other factors that made it all less quiet and awkward. 

Shin’s dark eyes, which you always found so pretty, blinked at you, and much of his amusement faded.

Even if he wasn’t doing anything, you could tell he stilled. 

You moved closer until your knees touched the outside of his leg while he sat cross-legged on the floor. It was hardly the first time you were this close, but it seemed both of you now knew what this was all about. 

You never really addressed the fact that you weren’t a real couple. At first, it was either pointless or seemed rude, but with more time, you grew familiar with the notion. You never openly called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. Still, whenever Shin or you bought the other somewhere, people assumed you didn’t correct them. You were unsure what were Shin’s thoughts on the matter, but you knew pretty early on yours that you didn’t want to correct anyone anymore.  

A sense of woozy headiness filled you when your noses touched. Being close to him wasn’t new. He rode you home and hugged you quite often, making it somewhat easier to think you weren’t just friends. Still, you never brushed your nose against his ever so slightly and felt your breaths mingle like this before. 

You remained like this for a second before you sighed and erased the last couple of pesky inches between you with your lips. You never did this before, so it wasn’t more than a quick and innocent peck. It wasn’t enough to actually know anything about his taste or touch, but it still caused a tiny spark between you too. 

When you opened your eyes, you found his dark ones already on you, ‘Why?’

You swallowed, feeling a shiver running across your body at how breathless he sounded, ‘I-I felt like kissing my boyfriend.’

He blinked, and given how close your faces still were to one another, you felt rather than saw his hand slide up the back and around your neck, ‘Yeah?’ he asked and licked his lips, causing your eyes to stick to his mouth like glue, ‘Well, now I feel like kissing my girlfriend back.’

You sensed his head dipped, and he caused your chin to tilt toward him. 

‘Ok-’

Then his mouth was on yours, and your mind emptied completely. Nothing else existed except for this. The heat, the pleasure, the firm pressure of his lips, and the soft glide of his tongue against yours.

You didn’t know when you raised your hands, only found your fingers sliding into his hair while he tipped your head back further, giving him as much access as he could possibly want. 

He tasted like mint, smoke, and Shin. It was so delicious and indescribable you wanted to drown in it, and you almost did. 

A moan slipped from your mouth to his, and he answered with a tortured groan of his own. 

His hand tightened around your nape in a way that, instead of that sweet and comfortable warmth, made you feel the heat.

Your first kiss should have felt strange or at least a little bit uncomfortable with how little practice you had, but it certainly didn’t feel that way. Instead, it felt completely perfectly right.

You were both breathless when you broke the kiss, and he immediately pulled you into his arms.

You remained like that for a while quietly, with the only sounds coming from your loudly beating hearts, heavy breaths, and some faint sounds from other parts of the house.

Your eyes stayed closed until Shin pulled your face toward his and pressed your foreheads against each other, ‘I’m glad you gave me that chocolate on Valentine’s Day.’

You smiled, ‘I’m glad you didn’t wait until March to return the favor.’

He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against your temple, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Koniec A.N: Thank you for reading. Have a lovely day 😊

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (Mech Pilot AU)

Author notes: thanks again for being patient with me. Still going through it but here is the chapter I was most excited for 🙊 (also I don’t know how actual welding works just go with it.) enjoy!

Chapter 11

The setting sun cast long eerie shadows before Starscream moved visibly again. You had settled yourself about ten yards away from his kneeling form. He just sat there motionless. Every once in a while you’d see a wing twitch, hear a muffled murmur from him. Other than these small signs of life, he was utterly still, seemingly made of stone. You hadn’t announced yourself and it was easy enough to sneak up close to him when he first landed. You’d had ample time to study his frame. From the looks of it, he’d suffered a great deal. Could have been from the battle, but after he ran off into the smoke you hadn’t seen him again. You wondered who, besides Optimus, had the strength to deal such wounds.

A wound in his side was covered by a familiar energon patch. It’s light pulsing indicated it was still working on drawing the nanites closer to the injury. This meant the patch had been applied not too long ago. His wing hung at an odd angle at his back. Your optics focused on the crude welding job and you winced. It looked as if someone had done it with a non dominant hand. Were the Decepticon medics that terrible at welding jobs? You look down at your own chest plate and the welds, still fresh, that adorned it. No they were neat and clean. This looked as if he’d done it himself. Though that would be foolish wouldn’t it? Isn’t that dangerous?

The more you looked at him, the more you wondered what the hell happened to him. There was scraped paint along several dents that looked like it could have come from the hallways of the Nemesis. You leaned forward a bit trying to see better.

A quick slip of your servo on the damp trunk of a tree suddenly unbalanced you. The sudden movement made a sickening crunch that echoed off the clear water. The next few clicks reminded you exactly why Starscream was second in command of the entire Decepticon army. As soon as the sound reached his audials, he’d spun around and taken several steps in your direction. His posture was that of a mech who was immediately ready to take on a serious threat. Frame stiff and weapons powering up as he raised them. The dual null ray blasters mounted on his forearms were trained in the direction of the sound. His optics narrowed as he scanned the thick vegetation that hid your crouching form.

“Show yourself!” He spat, stalking forward a few paces.

You don’t make a move but instead call out to him from your prone position. “You look worse for ware. The Autobots give you a run for your money?”

Recognition flashed in his optics and his blasters lowered just a fraction. He hadn’t quite pinned down exactly where you were yet. In the waning light you could make out the faint glow of his biolights. Yours would soon make you visible amongst the foliage. It was better to stand up now and reveal yourself before he had a chance to find you. You moved, rustling the fallen leaves beneath you. There was a risk associated with trusting him not to blow your helm off. With the care he and the communications officer had shown you, there was a sense that he would hear you out.

“Listen. I’m going to stand up now. You know I don’t possess weapons on my frame. I’m unarmed.” You say clear enough to be heard.

Rolling from your back onto your belly, you slowly get to your peds. Palms out to show you don’t have anything with which to fight back. His optics found and trained you with a cold stare.

“Is it a habit of yours to patrol unarmed? Those damn fools can’t even train a proper army.” He grumbled almost quiet enough that you didn’t hear.

He vented in exasperation, though he didn’t lower his weapons as you stepped out from behind the foliage that had previously hidden you. You shook a ped to get rid of the loose leaves that covered it. The damp smell of moss and loam covered your frame and you were suddenly glad for the fact that your mech was an earthier color. Disguising the smears of earth from your clumsiness earlier. Your optics fell on his damaged wing once more. It trembled slightly as he tried to hold it at the same height as his uninjured one.

“Did one of us do that to you?” You asked, gesturing with your chin towards his injured wing.

“As if an Autobot could inflict such injures on me.” He scoffed and flicked his uninjured wing in annoyance.

Though he quickly realized his error in ruling out the Autobots as the source of his injures. That left only one mech who could have inflicted those injuries. You slowly reach up to flick your visor out of the way, exposing your golden optics. The battle mask you usually wore retracted, allowing him to see the serious expression on your faceplate. His optics widened ever so slightly. He didn’t know what to expect when he saw what was under that mask but it wasn’t something that was as close to a real Cybertronian femme as he had seen in eons.

Cybertronian femmes were rare during the war, most of them fled off world and met horrible fates or disappeared without a trace. The rest joined the Autobot cause, with a few frighteningly unstable exceptions. His gaze lingered on the frown that was set in the malleable metal mesh of your faceplate. How the humans were able to come up with technology like this was beyond him. Though it sent an uncomfortable shiver up his spinal strut. It was unnerving. He started when you finally spoke again.

“Then it must have been Megatron. I’m not deaf. I heard him threaten you.” Speaking so boldly was also a risk but you had to know. Something about the way he held himself. The way he had tried to get you away from that awful scientist back on the Nemesis. You felt like you owed him your life. An uncomfortable feeling when it came from the enemy.

His lip twitched and he refused to answer. Instead choosing to deflect the question with one of his own. “What the scrap are you doing out here in the woods alone. You were in bad shape when I last saw you.” His voice was harsh and there was a staticky edge to it. Perhaps a nervous tell.

“I could ask the same of you. I thought Decepticons didn’t venture to the surface. Something about it being ‘contaminated by the native life’ or something.” You almost smiled at the affronted look he gave you.

As if he, the second in command of the Decepticon army would be scared of a few squishy humans. Slowly, you reach into a compartment on your side that contained a field medical kit. Inside you knew you had at least a couple of welding rods and a field welding torch.

“If you want, I could help you with the welding on your wing. You are still leaking energon. It couldn’t have felt good to fly like that.”

Extending your servo with the tools, you try to look as sympathetic as possible. “You helped me. I’m still functioning because of you and I owe you for that.” You splay your free servo over the chest of your mech. Over the tiny body hidden inside.

He looked at you with a mix of disgust and offense at the mere thought of your human made servos on his wing. He sputtered trying to get the words out for a moment. His vocalizer betraying him. You held up a hand and that silenced him surprisingly. “Please let me do this. We’d be even. They have no idea you tried to help me.”

Starscream’s curiosity was the only thing that made him slowly close his intake and nod. His denta set as he slowly lowered his weapons. He knew he wouldn’t be able to make the flight back to the nemesis without help. This was the first time in quite awhile anyone had asked to help him outright. It had been even longer since he allowed anyone to help him without lashing out. You smile and gesture for him to follow you to a fallen tree not too far along the edge of the water. There was just enough daylight left that you could probably get most of the welding done before the sun set.

“No tricks human. Even with that machine you are soft. I won’t hesitate to offline a femme.” He growled as he begrudgingly settled himself down on the tree.

You notice him watching your every move, frame tense as if he expected you to take that torch and use it for more sinister purposes. You vent softly and move around behind him to look at his wing. This close to him, you feel a staticky tingle that runs through seemingly every energon line of your frame. You shudder. You could feel his agitation, fear, and apprehension. But there was a hint of something else there. A feeling you couldn’t quite place. Something akin to curiosity. You shake your helm and try to focus on assessing the damage.

There were a few gaps in his weld lines that still leaked a bit of energon. You knew the mesh beneath contains many pain receptors. It was shredded at the joint and the tender mesh exposed. You cringed as you ran your optics over the crumpled mess. Of course he’d tried to fix it himself if Megatron was the one who did this to him. He’d probably done it to humiliate him. Reaching out a careful servo you go to brush a digit along one of the weld lines. As soon as your digit makes contact he flinches. His other wing twitching and you feel a wave of embarrassment and rage through his EM field.

“I don’t have all night Autobot are you going to get on with it or not!” He snapped trying to hide the fact that he’d had such a dramatic reaction to the contact.

You bite back a stinging retort and reach into the container at your side for a welding rod. You realize with a feeling of dread that you don’t have any nerve dampeners on you. Nothing like an EM pulse emitter that could nullify the pain being caused by the fresh welds. You chew your lip for a moment and speak. “I don’t have anything to help with the pain. Will you be alright?”

He doesn’t respond. Only nodding, giving you to go ahead to continue. You take a deep vent in. If he had done this earlier on his own, he must not have had anything to numb the pain then either. Bracing yourself with one ped on the ground and the other against the fallen tree, you place one servo between his wings and use the other to unset the welds he’d placed. Flicking down your visor against the blinding torch, you set to work. Once you began, he made no sound to indicate he was in pain.

Only the groan of strained metal could be heard as he clenched his fists against the white hot flame of the torch. You worked quickly, wanting this to be over just as much as he probably did. After unsetting the welds, you worked quickly to right them once again. This time taking care to align the joint properly and seal any severed lines. His uninjured wing trembled a couple times but otherwise he remained still.

Once you had finished you stood upright and flicked your visor back up to look at your work. It wasn’t as good as a medic could have done but you were the best in your class at field medicine. These welds would hold and his wing was on straight this time. You cross your arms over your chassis, proud of your work. “All finished. And the sun hasn’t even set yet.”

Pastel pinks and oranges had begun to fill the watercolor sky. Still he didn’t move. You cocked your head to the side suddenly concerned. Reaching out a servo you rest it in the middle of his back between his wings and feel him lean ever so slightly into that touch before he catches himself. Flinching abruptly away he stands and whirls on you. “You’ve already touched me enough insect. I’m fine.”

His EM field flared with that unidentifiable emotion once again. You stepped back palms up to show you didn’t mean to overstep. “Sorry didn’t mean to.” You mumble not knowing what exactly you were apologizing for. You had comforted Bee in a similar way once when he was seriously injured after a fight. The little scout seemed grateful for the gesture and you thought he might need something like that as well. Clearly not. You huffed out an annoyed vent. So much for him being grateful. At least you had made it through the entire process without him using those twin null rays to blast you back to the state you were born in.

He wouldn’t look you in the optics. His pride probably so thoroughly squashed for the day that he couldn’t possibly take another embarrassment.

“There. We are even.” Were the only words he spoke as he whirled around and stalked off. Transforming and taking off over the lake a few paces down. He wasn’t trailing that awful black smoke anymore and his wing seemed to be holding. You hadn’t realized just how stiff you’d been holding your posture as you finally relax. His alt mode disappeared on the horizon, not knowing just how close he had come to discovering the Autobot base.

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (Mech Pilot AU)

Author note: Hey everyone I’m so so sorry it’s been so long. This has been the worst three weeks of my life. Currently staying with my dad and having to see what exactly happens going forward. That aside please enjoy chapter 9 of emptiness machine! And thank you for your patience. ❤️

Chapter 9

The crushing hug the scout had you in nearly cracked the brand new welds that had been used to repair you. You chuckle as he finally lets go but keeps a servo wrapped around the arm of your mech. The other bot, Ironhide, waved at the two of you from the door.

“C’mon we ain’t got time for tearful hellos. The others are guarding the open spacebridge as we speak.”

He starts out the door and bee goes to pull you along with him. The restraints that Starscream had ordered the drones to place on you were still binding your wrists. You awkwardly stumble along letting him guide you through the smoke. He and Ironhide had done quite a number on the drones through this hallway. you smile a little knowing later you would congratulate them on their victory. After turning down a few more hallways, you join up with the lambo twins and Hound. They urge you forward and through the last set of blast doors. The scene that awaited you was straight out of a science fiction comic book. Optimus himself stood in front of the open space bridge locked in hand to hand combat with Megatron.

Optimus swung his axe missing Megatron’s helm by mere inches. The Decepticon leader taking the opportunity to drive his energy blade up just missing vital energon lines running through his opponent’s neck. The prime countered, his joints straining as he swung the heavy weapon down in a brutal arc. Megatron sidestepped just in time to watch the axe slamming into the ground with a deafening thud, sending up a spray of sparks.

Before the axe could be pulled back, Megatron darted in, his energy blade flashing in the dim light, a precise thrust aimed at his opponent’s chassis. Optimus twisted, deflecting the strike with a swift, brutal swipe of his axe. Megatron’s blade grazed his plating, but he barely flinched.

There were scowls on their faces as they circled each other, each waiting for an opening to strike. Optimus growled deep in his frame, lunging forward again, his weapon whistling through the air. His opponent narrowly avoiding the strike. The energy blade was raised just in time, blocking the blow but the sheer force of it drove him to his knees. With a growl of fury, Megatron pushed back, rolling aside, narrowly avoiding a second strike.

He sprang to his feet, his blade now a blur as he countered with a series of fast, slashing attacks.The two bots locked optics, and in a flash, they were upon each other again, weapons clashing in a deafening frenzy of power and precision, each driven by eons of war and the raw need to destroy one another.

This wasn’t a fight Optimus was trying to win. As you look closer, you see the Autobot leader carefully leading Megatron to the opposite side of the room from the portal. An effective strategy and flawless distraction. Using his own fury against him. You can’t help but smile a bit as Bee tugs on your arm, pulling you towards the portal. Ironhide and the twins had already gone through and Hound was right on their aft. No one wanted to stick around while the two big shots had it out. Letting the scout lead you forward you brace for the dizzying swirl of noise and light before disappearing behind the rest of the team.

As you come out on the other side, you see the familiar sight of the launch bay. Right behind you, a heavy ped step announces the arrival of Optimus. He’s clutching a fresh wound on his shoulder, but other than that he seems fine. Relief and exhaustion grip you and your knees buckle beneath you. Bumblebee luckily still has his digits locked around your wrist and catches you as you lean forward. His worried tone faded to a deafening ringing sound as your optics white out.

When you wake hours later, you expect to be disconnected from your mech. Instead, you are laid out still connected to your machine on one of the medical berths Ratchet uses to treat injured Autobot. Your chassis is open, exposing your real body. Tubes and energon lines are connected at various points around your frame. Blinding white light from above you makes you blink a few times, trying to adjust your optics to the harsh glow. From the cockpit of your mech, a familiar voice mumbles.

“She’s awake. Seraphim can you hear me?” Dr. Antonov’s voice was muffled by the layers of plating and wires he was behind.

You groan in response and he moves to be closer to your helm. You turn and train him with golden optics. “Dr. Antonov. It’s good to see you. Is…everything alright?”

The doctor stayed shut away in his lab most days. After years of working for the government, he had finally retired. He was promptly brought back for the express purpose of finishing his research on Cybertronian biology after first contact. He was a kind man, albeit a bit odd and antisocial. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled up at you. His greying, dark hair a mess as it usually was.

“You’ve had quite an ordeal haven’t you Sera? Honestly I was surprised we got you back in one piece! Given how Prime had described the Decepticons.” He reached out and patted the side of your helm gently. You look back at your open chassis.

“Doctor, why haven’t I been disconnected?” as you asked this, his smile faded. He looked his age once again as he turned slowly to walk back to where he had been.

“Something is interfering with your ability to disconnect from the Seraphim frame. If we try to sever the connection in this state…your consciousness could be lost.”

Before you could process his words, you hear shouting outside the door. Muffled voices and sounds of a struggle could be heard. Two bots were arguing.

“You better let me in old timer before I let myself in.”

“She’s just waking up, we don’t want to overwhelm her with company. Besides, we don’t know if the doctor has broken the news to her—“

The bot guarding the door was cut off as the other shoved his was into the med-bay. The giant metal door slid open and quick ped steps announced the arrival of a very worried and fussy friend.

•••

“You absolute failure! I cannot believe you allowed Optimus Prime and his lackeys to bridge directly onto the flight deck of my ship!” Megatron sent a devastating kick into the side of the kneeling figure before him. It sent the bot jolting to the side, nearly purging his tanks from the force of the blow. Venting rapidly, Starscream tries to re-align his vocal apparatus to speak.

“Lord Megatron! Please I was interrogating the prisoner! Didn’t you want the valuable information she was carrying?” Another blow to the helm as he bowed low, trying to appease his leader’s anger. Dizzy and disoriented he tried to right himself, only to be grabbed by a wing and flung across the room. There was a sickening crunch as his wing dislocated and hung useless by a few cables. His body hit the opposite wall and he landed in a heap unmoving. The gathered Decepticons seemed to flinch in unison as the Warlord stalked towards the seeker.

“Starscream you imbecile. I told you to take care of it. Didn’t I? I wanted that thing offline! It had no such intel to give you. It was taking you for the fool you are! And now Optimus prime has ground bridge coordinates for the flight deck of the Nemesis!” He reached out a clawed servo and grabbed the seeker around the throat. Lifting him off of his peds. Starscream sputtered but couldn’t get the words out. Energon leaked from the split in the mesh of his lip where Megatron had landed a solid blow earlier. He bared his denta at his leader and scrabbled at the grip around his throat as Megatron squeezed. Starscream’s optics flickered as he was about to lose consciousness. A calm and steady voice interrupted the two.

“Lord Megatron if I may, the abomination did in fact possess coordinates for other energon mines. Isn’t that correct Soundwave?” Shockwave’s even tone despite the mauling of his second in command, made Megatron pause.

He growled and dropped the body of the seeker and he crumpled into a heap on the floor. Turning his attention to a very uncomfortable looking Soundwave, Megatron began to stalk over looking eerily calm. As he approached Soundwave produced a small disk. One he had hoped to keep hidden for his own research. But Shockwave had seen him downloading the information from the prisoner. He handed it over, there was no information on the location of the base of operations for their enemy, however, the location of half a dozen energon mines wasn’t bad intel at all.

While Megatron was discussing the new intel with Shockwave, Starscream winced as he hauled himself up. This wasn’t the first time his leader had taken out a defeat on his frame. He gritted his denta against the pain and limped painfully out. He needed to be away from here. Anywhere but here before panic gripped him once again. He felt his spark start to spin faster as he hobbled to his habisuite to do his own repairs.

I wanna thank you so much for coming up with the mecha au! It rocks so hard! Like I’m actually tuning in and checking whenever you update, I’m a huge mech fan and transformers fed it heavily. Again I hope you’re doing amazing and feeling well.

P.s your cool :)

I totally intended to answer this ask with the next chapter of Emptiness Machine, but I had a lot of really bad things happen recently. In a safe place rn and finally able to think clearly enough to write. Y’all are so so sweet and these asks are keeping me sane rn. Thank you so much for your support of my shenanigans ❤️

P. S. You are cooler!!! Thanks Anon

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (Mech Pilot AU)

Author note: Hey everyone just for this chapter I wanna explain that in this universe scanning a spark signature can reveal a designation. If you have any other questions send me an ask. Enjoy!

Chapter 8:

Your optics come online and you sit straight up at the sound of your designation. How did he get ahold of this information? The Autobots had been so careful not to let any information slip about the secret project Dr. Antonov had been working on. Humans weren’t even involved in the conflict until a cycle ago when they were called upon to deal with an actual Decepticon on the surface. You narrow your optics at him as he smiles at you in a sadistic way. Chuckling he turns and addresses the drones stationed outside the door.

“Restrain the prisoner I wish to speak to them unobstructed by this.”

He waves a servo at the humming energy wall that separates you. At that you sit up ready to fight, but your servo immediately goes to your forehelm as dizziness overcomes you. you had taken the Energon, so why were you still struggling? Sifting through the error messages you can’t make sense of the situation. You hadn’t been poisoned or drugged so what was the issue? One message though sends alarm jangling through you. ‘Unable to disconnect. Disconnection unavailable.’ What on earth could that mean? You hadn’t even noticed the approaching drones or heard the energy field disengage. They wrenched your servo from your helm and had you in cuffs before you could react. Something was off with your connection and you didn’t like it.

Looking back up at Starscream where he was stepping inside your cell, he looms over you. Wings flared out and bent over slightly to keep his helm from bumping against the ceiling. Clearly this cell was made for much smaller bots. You sit on the bench restrained at the wrists but nothing more. They were underestimating you again. That or they knew more about your current status than they were letting on. You vent and meet his optics. There was no choice but to talk to him. You let your helm lean back against the wall behind you but don’t break contact with his optics.

“Alright. I’ll speak with you. I cannot promise answers to everything and for that you might have to take me offline. But I will let you speak.”

He seems surprised for a moment, looking awkward in the cramped space. He shifts on his peds and produces the data pad and speaks once more.

“So it can speak in something other than obscenities. Very well. We were able to obtain very little information about you from our sweep of the digital network here.”

He pauses and his optics flick to your chassis and back up to your faceplate. So he was curious. He was speaking to you like an intelligent being and that was a start at least. Though the tone of his voice suggested he thought of himself as the higher life form here.

“Shockwave was the only mech Megatron wanted interacting with the native life. Unwise in my opinion.”

You raise an optic ridge at him. Why was he telling you all of this? Wasn’t he afraid you were going to use it against them? Of course he didn’t expect you to make it out of here still online. That was most likely the reason. You nod and respond.

“Whatever his reasoning for that is I’m sure it’s monstrous. Especially if it has to do with that mech.”

He looks at you and then back at the data pad.

“As second in command, it’s my job to be an advisor to Megatron in matters of great importance.”

He seems to preen before continuing.

“He however, believes I should have disposed of you. But how is it…that you look exactly like us. Down to our very biology. It’s…”

He doesn’t finish but instead he shakes his helm as if trying to get rid of a stray thought.

“Just what are you?”

His voice a dangerous growl that rumbles through his entire frame as he asks the question. So he thinks you are an abomination of some kind. You look him up and down.

“You are the alien here. You came to my world. So what exactly are you?”

Your tone accusing as you turn the question on him. Of course you knew Cybertronians well and why they were here. For a moment he looks affronted and his wings flick up, tapping the ceiling. You suppress a wave of amusement as he looks for a second like a bird whose feathers had fluffed out in indignation. He sputters for a before replying and regaining his composure.

“I suppose…but that’s beside the point. Here I am talking to what I thought was a very offline Cybertronian femme. Shockwave had torn out your spark. But here you are sitting in front of me as if none of that happened. And that-”

Emphasizing the word Cybertronian as he says it, he lays a digit on the seam that ran down your chest. The very same one that opened to reveal your true self.

“-that is in no way a Cybertronian spark. It’s something different altogether. An abomination.”

The scientist in him became morbidly fascinated with the new scans that had been taken of your form when Knockout and Hook had done the repairs on your frame. Where once a newspark had been detected, there was now a fully developed spark signature. It had a designation assigned to it and everything. An EM field, a scannable signature, it gave all appearance of a Cybertronian spark. But he wasn’t about to tell you that. Something had happened in the aftermath of that broken connection. Something that made his plating crawl in an unpleasant way. He continued to speak.

“Whatever those Autobots are doing is just as unethical as whatever morbid experiments Shockwave is conducting.”

He mumbled and that made you sit up straighter with a snarl as you reply to him.

“Never compare us to the likes of him! You are the bad guys here. You are the reason I was created in the first place. So that Earth had some defense against you. You are the reason Cybertron is ash and you had to come all the way here to find Energon!”

You had taken it too far. In a flash his servo was around your throat lifting you as Megatron had done. He was visibly shaking in anger. His red optics flashed and he bared his denta. Rage barely contained as his wings flicked fitfully behind him.

“You dare! You have no idea what happened on Cybertron! You insect! We tried to save Cybertron and your so called chosen leader doomed it!”

He seemed to take a moment to calm himself as he took a shaky vent and released you. Your optics were wide at his outburst. You swear you could have seen a hint of regret and pain behind his expression. It made you wonder what exactly he meant by what he said.

“What do you mean? Are you saying Optimus doomed Cybertron? That’s not right. He said you bombed it all to slag. Trying to get rid of everyone but those who aligned with your beliefs.”

Starscream looked as if he might have another outburst but instead he just spoke through gritted denta. Leaning forward so his face was barely an inch away from yours. Barely contained rage seeping out of his every word.

“Those deceivers would have you believe they were the spotless victims of this war? What if I told you there wasn’t a war before Optimus Prime became what he is?”

He didn’t get to finish before several drones rush in and the main door to the circular room slides shut. There were distant klaxon to be heard before the noise was abruptly cut off. They hurriedly took defensive positions and Starscream looked around, more annoyed than alarmed.

“What the pit is it now?”

He places a digit on the side of his helm activating his communicator.

“Report. What’s going on out there.”

You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but he ducked quickly out of the cell. Throwing a brief ‘stay put.’ over his shoulder at you. The energy field hummed back to life caging you once more in the small room. Whatever it was must be big because there were now eight drones in the room with you.

Still reeling from the conversation you just had, you try to imagine what on earth he could have meant by that. There was no way Optimus Prime started the war on Cybertron. You couldn’t think about that right now. Whatever was happening most likely had to do with the Autobots and that made you smile. It was only a matter of time before they came for you. Their fierce protectiveness of the human race was one thing the Decepticons couldn’t flip around on them.

There was a thunderous crash and rubble bounced off of the energy field as the door to the cell block was blown open. Dust and smoke filled the air and there was shouting. Familiar voices made you stand, that hope filling your lines as you try to see through the smoke. Drones opened fire and were taken down with ease. Two familiar color schemes make their way towards the field. One pair of big worried blue optics stare through the field at you, making you almost sob with relief and recognition. The field drops and a flash of yellow was all you see before you are practically taken off your peds. The yellow mech clinging to you like you might just crumble in his servos. Of course you’d recognize him anywhere.

“Bee! Oh thank goodness!”

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Mech Pilot Reader

Author note: here’s chapter 7! Sorry it took me a bit and today’s chapter is a bit longer to make up for it. Been going through some stuff. No warnings for this chapter!

Chapter 7

Coming online by degrees, you take in a shaky vent. Your optics flicker and warning messages blare, taking up all the space on your HUD. Internal damage, low energy, unable to disconnect, major mesh damage. You wince as you try to sit up and see where you are. A servo coming up reflexively to hold your chest plates together. Your digits find a fresh weld there as well as an Energon patch, someone had done minor repairs on your frame. You slowly move your optics over your plating. There were a few more fresh welds. Your optics flick over to find a faint purple glow, and sitting there against the wall you were leaned on, was a cube of Energon.

After looking around some more, you see that you had been taken to some sort of cell. An energy wall separated you from a larger circular room with more cells around the outside. In the center was a terminal and an empty, bot sized chair. Groaning, you try to get to your feet. If they thought you’d trust the Energon cube they left for you after all of what just happened, they were sorely mistaken. You pointedly ignore the persistent ping of the low fuel level warning as it invaded your vision. In your cell there was only a bench. Cybertronians didn’t need water for anything and it seems prisoners weren’t kept alive for very long here. You manage to drag yourself over to the bench and lean back. The patch on your chest still has some Energon infusion left but you need to take stock of the damage done to your actual body.

It takes you a moment to remove the patch but when you do, it’s easy to see the damage. There were long tears in the mesh beneath and the plating had been welded back in place properly. Luckily enough, they had the sense not to weld the seams of the cockpit closed. This gave you access to the gel capsule where your body rested. Engaging the springs manually since the connection was severed when Shockwave had torn into your chassis, you gingerly lift the plating away. It looks about as bad as you had expected. Your body had dried blood on its forehead, there was some bruising. But overall the damage wasn’t that severe. The scuffle with Megatron hadn’t affected the connection. You let out a relieved vent.

Just then, a door slid open with a mechanical swish and in walked the boxy blue bot who had carried you. Soundwave, Megatron had called him. When his visor dropped to your slumped form, you quickly close the plating around your body and glare defensively. He was carrying another Energon cube in one of his servos. The other servo raised in what was supposed to be a gesture of reassurance. He spoke in a quiet tonal voice.

“Little one. You must refuel.”

You glare at him. Little one? This was absolutely not the picture Optimus had painted of the Decepticons. Not getting up or making a move to retrieve the Energon cube he’s already placed inside the cell for you, your optics never leave him. He moves closer, activating a button on the panel outside that opens a small window in the energy field so he can place the second cube inside. He steps back but continues to watch you, his expression unreadable. You try to speak but your speech synthesizer crackles and glitches. The damage Megatron did wasn’t severe but it had wrecked your ability to speak clearly for now. Still you grate out the words through gritted denta.

“Gg-go fr-ag yourssss- tryiing-to poissss-on m-me“

The incomplete sentence hanging in the air a moment before the mech turns away as if to walk out. Before he reaches the door he turns and points to the cubes, speaking one last time over his shoulder.

“Fuel: acceptable. Not contaminated. Refuel.”

With that he leaves, the door sliding shut behind him. You extend your hand in a rude human gesture that would mean nothing to him, but it made you feel better anyway. You can’t help but feel the empty tank of your mech scraping the last bits of Energon from its walls. A little couldn’t hurt could it? Dr. Antonov and the Cybertronian scientists he worked with had made your mech as close to an actual Cybertronian as possible. The biology almost indistinguishable from the alien species except for the cockpit in its chest. This included the nanites that were found within the lines of a mech. The self repair system. He wasn’t sure of the effects nanites would have on the human body at first, but after he discovered the tiny organisms wanted nothing to do with organic matter, he implemented their use in all of his creations.

Taking the cube in your servo you lift it to your olfactory sensors, detecting no poison. You tentatively slide your glossa out to taste the Energon. It tasted just as staticky as it normally does. Hungrily you gulp down the first cube. Systems start to come back online and your vision clears slowly after a few hours. Forcing yourself to save the second cube until you need it again, you lie down on your side with your back to the wall. Your wing panels tuck against your frame and you wait for someone else to return. They had kept you alive for some reason. Perhaps for information or study. At least they knew to keep you out of Shockwave’s lab. Shivering when you think what he might have done with you if the other two hadn’t intervened.

You think back on the times that Optimus Prime had discussed the Decepticons with the members of Project Archangel. There were five back then. Five working mecha and five pilots. He had called a meeting to inform all of you of the danger you were getting ourselves into. He told you everything. The 11 worlds already practically glassed by the Decepticons. How earth was the second to last world and they could have plans to terraform it into a new Cybertron. It seems their homeworld was now uninhabitable due to the chemical weapons utilized by the Decepticons. Optimus blames Megatron for the destruction of their world.

“It didn’t need to be this way. But Megatron had decided the only path to peace on Cybertron was to eliminate an entire generation of our people. He wanted no one left. Only those who were down with him in the pit. Only those who knew the same hardship he did.”

He went on to describe the war on Cybertron before they left. How entire cities were bombed to ash. Burning metal and ozone all that was left of beautiful architecture and culture. All the wealthy citizens didn’t last long under his reign. He took control of most of the planet and its resources before Orion Pax decided to lead a rebellion against his tyranny. The death told had climbed to heights he couldn’t have possibly imagined. Primus himself intervened and deemed the young mech worthy, awarding him with the matrix of leadership. A powerful weapon only wielded by someone who would use it for the right reasons. From then on, Orion became known as Optimus Prime. That is the short version. He talked for hours. You remember nearly falling asleep by the time he finished.

Though the thing that stuck with you the most was the fact that he and his followers had killed indiscriminately. Their rule, though short, was tyrannical. Just the kind of thing they were fighting against. You shook your helmet at the thought. Such blind rage was something you knew well though. There were wars on earth before the Cybertronians came. One of those wars left you without most of your family. Leading you to project archangel and Dr. Antonov.

Your thoughts were once again interrupted by the metallic swoosh of the door opening up and ped steps announced the arrival of a bot. You don’t lift your helm right away. Instead you leave your optics offline and listen. The bot uses a data pad to loudly bang on the outside of your cell making you startle. Your optics find a familiar smug looking face and a crooked smile. Starscream. He speaks, his voice a deep rumble in the circular room.

“I have some questions for you. Care to share some information with me? Seraphim?”

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (mech pilot au)

Author note: little tw for choking but that’s it! Sorry it’s a short chapter but I wanted to get it out.

Chapter 6

“Lazerbeak eject.” Soundwave sent his cassette after you with subdue only orders. No lethal force was to be used on the prisoner. The agile cassette kept up with ease as you darted around the hallways of the nemesis. You were expending Energon at a high rate using your jump jets like this, but you couldn’t think of anything else to do. You passed several stunned mechs who hollered after you or dropped what they were doing in pursuit. Klaxon rang in your auditory sensors and flashing red lights threatened to short out your visual circuits. Holding the pieces of your chest plate together with one hand, you stagger down a hallway and use one last boost.

No matter what you did you couldn’t shake that damn bird who was following just a bit behind you. No doubt reporting your position to the others. You turn to look at it as you activate your jets. You hear it squawk in alarm and see it dart in the opposite direction. Looking at it was a huge mistake it seemed as you slam straight into a clawed metallic hand. It closes around the throat of your mech, squeezing until you choke. A strangled sound coming from your intake as your optics flicker and malfunction. Trying your best to see your captor around the mess of warnings and error messages on your HUD, you stare completely dumbstruck. Your free hand scrabbles at the hand around your throat. This moment would surely be your last as your blue optics meet deep crimson ones.

The pounding of peds behind the two of you announces the arrival of several other Decepticons. You can’t turn your head but you remember the voice of the boxy blue mech that you pushed past earlier. Hearing his voice translated into your language once more as the Cybertronian translation program within your mech works its magic.

“Lord Megatron. Apologies. The prisoner is under control.”

A deep voice spoke. Commanding but calm. Deadly calm. It sent ice down your spinal strut as you struggled again. His grip was so tight you were sure if you tried to speak your vocal modulator would short out.

“Soundwave, old friend, what is this injured creature doing on my ship?”

He continued to hold you by your throat. Lifted about a ped length off the ground suspended by his one hand. He was powerful and that was enough to send panic through you. This was the mech that killed hundreds of thousands, the mech who incited a millennia long war, a monster who would rather see his own world burn than leave even one of his enemies alive. That was the only word you managed to grate out of your intake as he held you there.

“M…monster…”

He growled at you but didn’t respond as he was interrupted by the sound of calm ped steps arriving on scene. You recognize the voice of Shockwave immediately, a fresh wave of panic surging through you to make your chest ache. You were barely conscious as it was, but you were starting to see white at the edge of your vision.

“Lord Megatron that would be my doing. I have reason to believe that the humans have been able to create an artificial spark. I took this ‘thing’ to study it. See if perhaps it might prove useful.”

There was murmuring from the small gathered crowd of Decepticons as you felt many optics on your damaged form. One servo holding the plates of your chest together and the other digging into Megatron’s massive digits.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t crush your little science project and be done with it. I told you the humans are of no consequence and to leave them be. We have no proof that they are even sentient creatures. The only thing we should be concerning ourselves with is mining Energon.”

He shakes your near limp form, a soft noise of pain escapes you and you feel his servo tighten. Your mech doesn’t need to breathe air, but he could easily crush your spinal strut and sever your head clean from your body. If you received a life threatening wound to your mech, your real body was adversely affected. If you didn’t die, you would be terribly close to it. Behind you, you hear Soundwave start to speak again but another familiar voice pipes up from the crowd. It was the winged mech from earlier who had spoken to you.

“My lord! Please let me take care of this horrible mess that Shockwave has created. I spoke with the creature and I believe it may have valuable information about the location of the Autobot base. Perhaps even the locations of their Energon mines. You needn’t bother yourself with such a pitiful excuse for a distraction.”

You scrunch your nose as you listen to him. Whoever this bot was, he was a suck up. Megatron visibly rolled his eyes and dropped your limp form to the floor. He growled in the direction of the mech.

“You spoke to it? Take care of it Starscream. Before I decide to let you take the blame for this inconvenience. As second in command you are responsible for the actions of those under you. Deal with it.”

With that, the crowd dispersed leaving the three of them with you. You don’t move, too exhausted and drained of Energon to muster any fight. Pain seared through every fiber of your being as you gaze blearily up at their frames. You hear Starscream mumble something about getting you to the brig before Megatron changed his mind. The boxy blue bot whom Megatron had called Soundwave, stepped forward and gently lifted you into his arms. He was warm just like the other one. Why did this surprise you? You had been held by most of the Autobots back at the base. Why would these Cybertronians be any different? Perhaps the image of the Decepticons that the autobots created? Like dark cryptids, or something altogether evil and sinister. You expected cold, calculating, monsters. But as you gaze up into the visor of the one carrying you, you swear you see pity in the optics you find there.

I work at a spa so between clients here I am writing chapter 6 of Emptiness Machine.

Alright here is readers mech as a Patlabor Ingram! Idea courtesy of my reader on AO3 DiscoInHell. Enjoy!

Progress pics because I never post those. How I see Reader’s mech from my fic Emptiness Machine after being inspired by a comment.

I can’t stop thinking about this comment I got on AO3. One of my readers told me they saw Reader’s mech, in my fanfic Emptiness Machine, as similar to an Ingram from Patlabor.

So yeah I’m drawing this now because I love Patlabor.

Emptiness Machine

Author note: Hey yall here is a link to my AO3 so you can find the work there as well! Hope the link works 😬

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61381396

Starscream X Reader (Mech Pilot AU)

Chapter 5

You squirm a bit in the too tight grip of the bot’s servos as he holds you. When the other blue bot had come in, he had switched back to speaking in Cybertronian. However, something about his expression when he looked down at you made you think he finally pieced it all together. You smile triumphantly up at him and narrow your eyes. You had successfully gotten under his plating.

The autobots had made it very clear to their human hosts that the Decepticons were nothing more than monsters. They weren’t to be trusted at all. But as you look between the two bots as they gaze down at you in horror, you can’t help but compare their reaction to the autobots. Both looked as if you might sprout another head at any moment. The one holding you looked absolutely affronted as his gaze darted from the scan displayed on the screen to you. You couldn’t read the other boxier mech, his mask and visor making it difficult to tell what he was feeling. But clearly he was one step ahead of the one who plucked you from the tube. You grimace and gasp suddenly unable to breathe.

“I’m still here. You’re starting to squish me you oaf.”

You say breathless as his servo tightens around your middle in his shock. Turning at your voice, he turns and dumps you unceremoniously back into the tube, knocking the breath out of you and making your head start to spin again. You try to pull yourself to your feet but fall against the side. Just in time to watch them both rush out muttering in their language. The door sliding shut once again.

‘What was the all about?’

You think as you try to gather yourself, glancing over at your mech and up to the top of the tube. It would be easy for you to shimmy your way up the thing if you could stop being so damn dizzy. You swallow back the wave of nausea that crashes over you. It’s not like you hadn’t been trained for things like this. You had run through scenario after scenario. But this one, this was unexpected. You had been told by the autobots that if a human were to be captured, it would end in their demise. A horrible gruesome one at that. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. The Decepticons did not care about preserving life.

Gripping the side of the glass container, you manage to lift yourself up and stand on wobbly legs. The adrenaline from the interaction was still coursing through you and making your hands shake as you stood slowly. You began an awkward climbing shimmy up the tube. Using your body and limbs to help you along. The tube wasn’t that high but it was high enough that you couldn’t just jump out. After reaching the rim, you take a moment to breathe and make sure no bots were around. Shockwave hadn’t returned. A lucky break. It was also lucky they had severely underestimated your ability to do anything. You smirk as you imagine the looks on their faces when they find you gone.

…

Starscream takes long strides towards Megatron’s throne room with Soundwave trailing after him. The communications officer had a point. That wasn’t just an organic creature. It was something straight out of a horror holo-drama. Something created in a lab that could turn the tide of the war in the Autobot’s favor. Lord Megatron needed to know about this immediately. If Shockwave hadn’t already informed his leader. The thought made him suddenly rock to a stop, Soundwave nearly crashing into his back as his wings flick. If Shockwave got ahold of this creature, if he figured out already that the humans can be infused with energon and used as weapons….

This wouldn’t do. This was something he could use. An advantage over his tyrannical leader. He had suspected for some time that Megatron was losing his grip on reality. Fueled by rage and hate for the leader of the Autobots.

Optimus prime.

His personal vendetta clouding his ability to make wise decisions as a leader. Starscream knew he couldn’t best him in battle but maybe…just maybe he could find a way to use this to his advantage. He turns to Soundwave, his voice thoughtful.

“Soundwave, we should keep this tidbit of information between us. You know how delicate Lord Megatron’s sensibilities have been lately. We wouldn’t want him putting barbaric ideas into Shockwave’s head. He’s already unstable as it is.”

Soundwave only nods. Looking back towards the lab where they left the human. Starscream huffed in exasperation. His companion still practically radiated anxiety for the little creature.

“We do need to get it out of Shockwave’s care. As SIC, I am responsible for prisoners. Not that glitched scientist. I’ll have the drones take her and that husk to the brig.”

He seemed sure of himself but the facilities on the Nemesis weren’t made to hold something so small. Something easily under ped. He thought for a moment as he stalked off on just how he was going to contain such an interesting threat. Soundwave turns. His loyalty to Megatron tempting him to go seek his counsel. But even he knew that his old friend wasn’t the same bot he used to be. He decided it’s in the human’s best interest that he keep it with him for now. Turning, he heads back towards the lab. Trusting something so fragile and small to Starscream of all mechs wasn’t sitting right with him. He pictured the small creature crushed in the seeker’s grip and shuddered.

…

You had climbed to the rim of the glass tube. Looking down at about a ten foot drop. Surely this wouldn’t be so bad? You brace yourself before jumping and landing hard. The sound echoing a lot more than you wish it would have. You freeze, waiting for someone to burst through the door. No one does and you smile. They hadn’t posted any guards outside. First mistake. They won’t make that mistake twice which means you get one shot at this. Peering over the edge of the table you look down at the almost thirty foot drop before pushing away feeling dizzy. Heights never bothered you but this, knowing you could fall to your death, was something different altogether. You take a deep breath and stepped back a few paces. It was a small jump from here to the inverted table and the arm of your mech. From there you could crawl up to her chest. Your head still pounding and chest still aching from the phantom pain, you brace yourself and run like mad for the jump.

Landing against her plating, you feel how cold she’s become. It wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience once you got inside. That ache in your chest reminding you of the gaping wound she possessed. You take a deep breath before climbing the rest of the way to the cockpit in her chest cavity. The damage was extensive. Torn proto-mesh and energon leaking from several damaged sections. At least Shockwave had been precise and missed all the main energon lines. This was salvageable. The pneumonic needle and gel cushion your body rested in were both still intact. You breathe a sigh of relief as you settle yourself back in. There was a small risk associated with re-establishing a severed connection but you pushed that out of your mind. You had to get out of here.

Closing your eyes and leaning back, you let your head fall into the gel. The familiar sting in the back of your neck barely noticeable as everything goes black. Blinding pain wracks your body as it comes online once more. You hold back a scream as your servos come up to clutch at your chest. Using your shaking servos, you try to close the plating as gently as you can around the tiny helpless body within. Bending the metal back in place makes you double over as the pain becomes almost unbearable. You groan and stumble off of the table. Noting the fact that your wrist restraints had been removed. They really underestimated you didn’t they. You get a small sliver of satisfaction in knowing you pulled one over on them as you stagger towards the door.

As you do, it slides open to reveal the blue mech from earlier. You hear him make a startled sound as you activate your jump jets and slam past him. Knocking him flat on his aft. He calls after you but you don’t hear it. Tearing through the hallways as fast as your jets will carry you. Wing panels flaring out to keep you stabilized as you search frantically for an exit.

Emptiness Machine

Author note: Hey all! Thanks for sticking with this story! Little TW for this one. Talk of newsparks. Other than that enjoy!

Starscream X Mech Pilot Reader AU

Chapter 4

It spoke Cybertronian. Albeit rude Cybertronian but of course only the autobots would teach a pet like this something so vulgar. Starscream narrows his optics at the creature as it squirms in his servo. The feel of it soft and warm in his digits sending an uncomfortable shudder through his frame. It turns its gaze on him staring up at him with those uncannily Cybertronian features. Intelligence in its face he wants to forget. If it can speak, it can understand him surely. He records its speech as it chatters up at him, translating the files and creating a program so that he can communicate with it. It takes a moment but he clears his vocalizer before speaking.

“You are bold for such a little thing. You caught me off guard speaking intelligently like that. Here I thought your kind were just miserable little insects.”

•••

That deep voice rumbles through you as he speaks, finally a language you can understand. You can’t even be offended at the way he spoke about you, the shock of the interaction bleeding into fear as you feel the grip of his servos around your ribs. You remember the autobots describing the things that these bots had done during the war. As his crimson optics gaze down at you with contempt you can’t help but wonder why he hadn’t crushed you yet. When you speak, your voice comes out shakier than you’d hoped.

“What did you want with me.”

The mech ponders for a moment. Still studying you as if you were some sort of exotic animal. After what felt like an uncomfortably long pause, he turns his head towards the body of your mech. Now deactivated, her optics dim from the prematurely severed connection. He doesn’t directly answer your question.

“What were you doing with that femme? Were you like some weird pet to her?”

He sounded disgusted when he said the word pet. Raising a tiny hand, you point to the mech. Your voice still shaking a bit but filled with determination and a shocking courage.

“You think you’ve killed her but you haven’t.”

You take a moment to think. Maybe you could throw him off so much that you could escape. You remember the reaction of the autobots when you had first been scanned by Ratchet and Firstaid. It had been one of horror, comparing the way you scanned to that of a newspark. From what you understood, Cybertronians were born one of two ways. Through a spark bond or from a hot spot. The fragile things appearing as a newspark and transferred into a waiting protoform.

“You scanned a newspark signature didn’t you?”

He looked taken aback by that. Either your intelligence was scaring him or the way you knew exactly what had transpired despite not understanding him. You speak again trying to appeal to him. Though you had a feeling it was all for not.

“Did you give any thought to the fact that we might not be so different?”

You wave your hand towards your mech, back to yourself, and then to him in a sweeping gesture. Just then, the door burst open to reveal a new boxy looking blue mech. The red visor covering his optics practically glowing as he looked around. Despite having a mask covering his face, his frame was tense and he radiated an agitated energy. His voice tonal and growling as he spoke urgently in his own language to the mech holding you.

•••

Starscream stared down at you as you gestured to him. Not so different? You were nothing. An insect. The only reason Megatron hadn’t already glassed your planet was the fact that your species might be useful for the creation of synthetic energon. The energon unfit for consumption for anything with a spark. But very useful for powering drones and weapons. The distillation process recently discovered by Shockwave some cycles ago. He had discovered that the organic creatures could be drained of their life force and condensed into this synthetic monstrosity. Personally, Starscream found this absolutely abhorrent.

He didn’t get time to process his thoughts though as Soundwave came bursting through the door. Looking frantically about the room, his visor falling on the body of the mysterious femme on the table.

“Starscream, query, where is the newspark?”

Starscream rolled his optics, the communications officer had always been much too sentimental for his taste. Letting his emotions get the better of him when it came to the care of his cassettes. Worrying over them and keeping much too close an eye on the life down on the planet below.

“There is no newspark you fool. Only this organic creature. Did you know they were intelligent?”

None of this was sitting right with Starscream as he looked back down at your confused face. The communications officer only nods as he walks over to the scanner. Seeing the signature for himself. Turning the screen towards Starscream, he points to the outline of your body and the origin of the weak signature. His voice a deep tonal growl as he addresses the SIC.

“Not just an organic.”

Those words made the energon in his lines grow cold again. Turning slowly to see the look of almost triumph on your face as if you had won. He makes the connection.

“What the pit have those Autobot fools done?”

Fan comic for @revelboo. Her work Coin Operated Boy is one of my faves 💕 anyway here’s Steve and reader.

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (mech pilot AU)

Author note: I am putting a trigger warning on this one because it mentions newsparks and alludes to Starscream thinking reader is carrying a newspark. Also because graphic depictions of violence.

If you are new here welcome! You can find my other fics and the other chapters HERE

Chapter 3

Shockwave listens as the door behind him shuts. None of this was making sense. He had seen it. The tiny almost imperceptible energy signature that even his highly sensitive optic hadn’t picked up at first. A newspark. He was sure of it. But what he had pulled from the chassis of that mech wasn’t a newspark at all. It was a human of all things. His servo shook as he balled it into a fist.

A wave of unfamiliar feeling crashed over him. Something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. His antennae flattened against his helm. The whole thing was most illogical. He began to stalk through the hallway. Muttering as he went, about newsparks and how it just wasn’t possible. He was so distracted by the conundrum of it that he almost barreled straight into Starscream. The mech immediately indignant at the perceived slight, sputtered as he dodged the boxy scientist. He had heard shockwave and paused, giving the scientist a confused look.

“What in primus’ name are you mumbling about now Shockwave. Some experiment of yours gone awry again?”

Starscream smirked as he blocked shockwave’s way, the bigger purple mech didn’t even seem to notice he was there. Pushing past the SIC shockwave stopped at the door to the med-bay continuing to mutter about newsparks and impossible things like that. Starscream’s wings flicked up in alarm at that.

“Newsparks? Shockwave you’ve been in that lab too long. There hasn’t been a newspark since…”

He stopped, looking back over his shoulder towards shockwave’s lab. Even he wasn’t evil enough to try and create life like that. He wouldn’t try to artificially create a newspark. That just wasn’t something he was interested in. Was it? Suddenly a deep sense of dread gripped Starscream. He knew an Autobot femme had been taken prisoner from the latest raid. Had that femme been sparked and shockwave somehow got ahold of it?

The energon in his lines ran cold. Sure he shouldn’t care about some Autobot femme. But he had believed for so long that his race was dying. That eventually this war would mean the end of the Cybertronians if he didn’t seize control from Megatron and stop his tyranny. Before he knew what he was doing he was sprinting headlong to Shockwave’s lab and bursting through the sliding doors. The scene that greeted him was a gruesome one. The femme was on his operating slab with her chest compartment torn open. Her optics were offline and she was leaking energon. To her left was a small vile containing the slumped figure of an organic. His optics widened as they fell on the tiny creature in the vile.

He’d seen the little organics on footage that the drones had picked up on their recon missions. Never in a million years did he think Shockwave of all bots would mistake the little insects for newsparks. Still, it all didn’t add up to him. Why had shockwave been so shaken and why had he offlined the Autobot prisoner instead of interrogating her for information. And in such a violent way. He turned his optics on the femme once more looking closer at her this time. Her chest compartment where her spark should be didn’t look quite right. Squinting his optics he tired to figure out what was missing. To his left a small noise startled him out of his quiet contemplation.

A loud noise jarred you awake making your head pound even harder. You tilt your head up a bit, eyes bleary and unfocused from the pain. Placing a hand on the cool glass you try to right yourself so you can better see what was making all that racket. A different Cybertronian was in the room with you now. His wings flicking in agitation as he stared at your mech.

“Hey you. Get back. Don’t touch that.”

Your voice barely coming out as a hoarse gasp as you tried to warn him off. He turns at your voice, mumbling deeply in his own language. It hadn’t occurred to you that the Decepticons wouldn’t have had the need to scan the native life. Their language not something that was relevant as the Decepticons only sought the energon on the planet. The humans were little more than insects to them. You look up at him, trying to get your eyes to focus. With every ounce of strength you have left, you take a deep breath and as loud as you possibly can, utter the only phrase in Cybertronian you had been taught. All the pain and anger and fear of the last hour building up in your chest as you scream at him.

“GO FRAG YOURSELF!”

Just wanting to know what yall are thinking about them because I haven’t heard much feedback and I’m a nervous bean 🙊

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (mech pilot AU)

Author note: sorry for not updating for awhile but here is chapter 2! Might release chapter 3 today…

Chapter 2

Spinister. That name meant nothing to you but clearly he was a force to be reckoned with. You look sideways at the lambo twins just in time to see them shift anxiously on their peds. You look to Bee for confirmation.

“Are we rushing them or are we going to regroup.”

There was a moment of silence and then a deep rumbling started behind you. You turned to see sideswipe with his denta bared in rage. You remembered the bot had revealed the Decepticons had razed his town back on cybertron. The twins lost everyone they knew. His servos flexed at his side.

“I’m taking them NOW!”

Before anyone else could react he darted from behind the iron doors and into the cavern.

“Wait Sides no!”

Bee shouts after him. His twin on his heels and Cliffjumper cursing in Cybertronian as he launches himself in as well. Michael whoops from behind you and dives forward leaving only you and Bumblebee. The scout mumbles a muted “Primus…” before gesturing for you to follow him. The scene is in chaos. Both lambo twins had jumped Spinister and had the con firing aimlessly trying to shake them off. Shockwave was aiming his cannon at Cliff who was occupied trying to grab the humans who hadn’t been turned into red goop.

Michael leapt at Shockwave, grabbing his cannon in his mech’s massive servo and crunching the barrel on the end so it couldn’t fire. He looked at Michael as if he hadn’t seen him before. Tilting his head and examining him before taking action. The con took a swing, knocking Michael to send him sprawling into Cliffjumper who had just seconds ago safely tucked the two survivors in his subspace. The two knocked into Spinister who brought his ped down hard on Michael’s arm. You launch yourself at Shockwave who turns as if surprised to see you just as he had done with Michael.

‘Is he partially blind?’ You think as he examines you before muttering to himself. The fins on his expressionless faceplate flaring out as he brings a massive servo up to swat you out of the way. Instead his digits close around the arm of your mech and he begins dragging you towards a familiar circle of light. A ground bridge. When did that open up? Alarm jangles through you as you realize what’s about to happen.

“Spinister stop playing. It’s time to go. We got what we came for.”

Came the growling, deep voice from above you. Shockwave didn’t even look at you as you struggled in his grip. The other Decepticon breaking free of the twins and joining the scientist near the bridge. You desperately com the others, screaming into your mic for help. The expression of horror on Bumblebee’s faceplate was the last thing you see as you are dragged through the ground bridge to wherever the cons are taking you. His voice cut off as the swirling light envelops you.

“Sera! Wait shockwave! That’s not—”

The awful pulling sensation of the ground bridge nearly makes you pass out as Shockwave drags you along. You aren’t even standing now, the scientist has his fist locked around your wrist. The sound of scraping metal and the smell of ozone cloud your senses. It’s dark here. The halls lit with an almost sterile purple glow. You pass drone after drone. None looking your way as you dangle from the fist of the enemy. After passing through several corridors and through double doors, you enter what you think must be his lab. The feeling you get when you enter makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You can feel it even through the split consciousness. Goosebumps erupting on the skin of the small body inside you. Insidious was an understatement. Tools and gadgets lined shelf after shelf. An assortment of wicked looking drills lay on a tray next to an inverted table.

Without saying a word or even glancing your way, Shockwave lifts you to rest against that inverted table. As if you weigh nothing at all. Cuffs lock around your hand, pinning it in place. You try to keep your other hand out of his reach. Using the fact that his cannon is damaged to your advantage and kicking at him with your peds. He takes the blows, not even moving when you kick at him. Reaching around he wrenches your other arm up to join the other. You let out a growl deep within your chest. Fear mixing with anger now as you watch him above you. Just observing you. Quietly curious and unsettling.

“Your energy signature is non existent. But you do not have an active cloaking device.”

He pauses for a moment to scan my chassis.

“What are you.”

It was framed more as a statement than a question. Gritting your denta you snarl back at him. Trying to make seem like none of this scares you. He doesn’t react when you make the sound. Rather, he turns to the display mounted near the table and studies the scan. You can see that it reveals the tiny organic body inside your chest. Your body, you remind yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you aren’t Cybertronian. He whips around digging a massive servo into your chest plating and prying open the compartment. It hurts. Pain ripping through your receptors to make you scream. Writhing against his grip as you fade in and out of consciousness from the sudden trauma. Energon leaks from the proto-armor underneath your plating protecting your small form inside. You vent raggedly as he grabs a scalpel and slices at your metal flesh to reveal the cockpit where you sit. Unconscious and slumped over in the gel seat, your body feeling delicate and exposed again.

“Stop stop stop! You can’t!”

And he’s reaching again. Gentle digits now curling around your body before you even have a chance to run disconnection protocols. You can feel your consciousness bouncing back and forth between the two vessels as the pneumonic needle slides uncomfortably out of the back of your neck. Gasping in a breath, you open your eyes. Wet with tears as you try to come awake. White light clouds your vision and sounds are muffled as the red glow of the scientist’s lone optic bathes you in ruddy light. Groaning incoherently, you hear him make a deep rumbling sound. One you’ve heard before when the auto bots speak Cybertronian to one another. Your mech had been translating this whole time. You shake your head trying to clear it. You didn’t know any Cybertronian and couldn’t communicate with him without your mech.

Before you can process what’s happening, he dumps you into a glass tube and sets it on a table next to your mech. You watch as he walks towards the door and leaves you there disoriented and unable to move. Your limbs feel achy and you can still feel the phantom pain of your chest being ripped open. Hands moving over your body you don’t feel any actual injuries. He hadn’t been rough with your actual body now that you think of it. His hands had been warm and gentle when he lifted you free of your mech. Looking around you try to get your bearings. It takes a moment for you to get your feet under you to stand, your legs shaky and weak. You only topple back down to the cold glass floor of the container when you try to move. Giving up, you lay there hoping sleep will take you and the pounding in your head will cease.

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous Part 6

Warnings: none

Slowly your brain came back to life as you rested clutched in the servos of that creature. It said it was from the government. But that didn’t make any sense either. ***you*** work for the government. Granted you work for a research branch that deals with strange anomalous geological formations, but surely you would have heard office gossip about literal sentient mechs being developed. The guys you work with couldn’t keep their mouths shut once they got a few drinks in them. Lucky for them, the government kept them far away from anything sensitive. Still, this didn’t add up in your head. There was no way you were going to argue with a giant robot though so you just smile weakly at him. Hoping he’ll put you down soon as his grip was digging uncomfortably into your ribcage. He just looked at you with that odd expression you can’t really place.

Thanking him for rescuing you? Of course you are. What else would a helpless creature like you do? He grins back at you. Baring his denta in what he hopes is a genuine looking smile. slowly lowering you back to the frozen ground where he snatched you from. He’d let you go of course. Only because he knew no one would believe you, and killing you would be more suspicious than not. “Don’t tell anyone about this or there will could be horrible repercussions.” He said, voice rumbling through you as he let you drop the last ten feet to the ground. Standing back to his full height, he lifts his wings and makes himself look bigger for emphasis.

You drop painfully to the ground. The fall knocked the wind out of you for a brief moment, making you wheeze as you try to stand. He’s standing there now. Towering over you as you slowly back up towards your car. Making a mad dash you start the engine and nearly peel out on the ice as you throw it in drive. Down the icy dirt road and onto the pavement, you take a deep breath and try to convince yourself that what you just saw was real. You shake your head. Your brain telling you that there was no way you should have gotten out of there alive. The tremors in your hands refusing to cease as you break the speed limit by at least thirty. Giant robots? Now this was something your coworkers were going to want to hear about.

He watches you go. Tracking your vehicle as it speeds away. He had found out where you lived. Just in case he had to get rid of you. No other reason. Definitely not out of concern for your safety. He vented heavily and sat down in the clearing. Finally some alone time. What he had come for in the first place. His place to think wasn’t sacred anymore but at least it was just some random organic. He couldn’t stop thinking about your little face, your curiously Cybertronian expressions and how you didn’t scream. Just sat there in his servo and stared. He scoffed. No sense of self preservation at all. Turning his attention to his most recent scheme to usurp Megatron, he puts you out of his mind for now. If all goes according to plan he won’t have to deal with you ever again.

***the next morning***

You hadn’t slept a wink. Tired eyelids sticking together as you drag yourself into work. You wave at the few people you pass, looking rough and a bit out of it. Your mind was filled with questions as you sit at your desk across from your research partner. He peers at you from his place sitting with his feet propped up on his desk. Th pile of paperwork un-filed in front of him and slightly stained by his third cup of coffee this morning resting on top of it. “Something happened. Spill.” You nearly startle at his voice. Your mind still racing as you plop down in your desk chair. “You don’t know if Weapons is developing anything….ai related do you?” He pauses and looks up, seemingly wracking his brain. “You know those guys. They don’t like to talk about anything. It’s all “classified” or something.” He rolls his eyes and scoots his chair back from his desk. Placing his face in his hands and elbows on either side of his chair, giving you his full attention. “Why? Did you hear something?”

please, please can we have some more of The Emptiness Machine 😭

✨❤️ANYTHING FOR YOU SWEET ANNON. YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND ❤️✨ part 1 is up! It’s a Starscream X human mech pilot reader fanfic so go check it out!

Chapter 1

Emptiness Machine

Starscream X Reader (mech pilot AU)

Warnings/TW: blood, weapons, mention of torture, robot gore, human experimentation (shockwave is shockwave), language, and peril. (I’ll add more as I post)

(Author note: Before I get started I wanted to get a few things out of the way. This is my own AU and doesn’t really lend itself to much existing media. Gonna mash a few continuities together. This is in no way a professional writing by any means. I am not running it past a beta or anything so it’s going to be rough. I wanted to write this for myself and share it with y’all! This is my silly nonsense. That being said if I don’t clarify something or if something doesn’t make sense please submit an ask and I will promptly explain! Now without further ado. Here is the anticipated first chapter of Emptiness machine! Thank you all for waiting.)

Read first

Data log entry #857

Date: 003029 Time: 0700

Time since first contact: 2 years, 4 months, 7 days

What began as a national defense strategy became one of the most complex military operations in the history of the world. Project Archangel, founded by Dr. Zinovy Antonov, began under the pretense of creating the world’s first mechanized army. He started his research long before we found out we weren’t alone out here among the stars. With the arrival of the Cybertronian visitors came the fear that humanity was not only vastly outgunned, but also grossly unprepared to deal with any threat from deep space. Dr. Antonov pleaded with the government to allow him near the deactivated body of one of the Cybertronians, who was discovered after a battle had broken out between factions.

He studied their biology and created what he dubbed the perfect exoskeleton. Fueled by chemical X, also known as Energon, and operated by none other than the human soul itself. There weren’t many volunteers to undergo the rigorous training and testing that these pilots had to go through. But with the help of Cybertronian Autobot scientists, Project Archangel was finally given the green light to move forward. Only three pilots made it through the initial testing.

Pilot: Seraphim, Pilot: Uriel, and Pilot: Michael.

With their functioning mecha, these pilots were meant to assist the Autobot Cybertronians in keeping earth from being terraformed by the opposing Cybertronian facton, the Decepticons.

Which brings us to the present. We have had zero contact with the other faction known as the Decepticons until two months ago. The Autobots insisted we keep our distance and only deploy Project Archangel as a last resort. Keeping the humans out of the conflict was essential if they wanted to stay neutral in the eyes of the Decepticons. As far as we know, no Decepticon has ventured down to the planet’s surface from their airship Nemesis to interact with the population. Only sending drones to wreak havoc on areas rich in Chemical X.

However, in recent months, there have been sightings of Decepticon officers and scientists (identified by Autobot command) on the planet’s surface. It was decided that we bring Project Archangel out of the shadows and deploy them on a scouting mission alongside several Autobots. We only hope that we haven’t made a grave mistake.

Chapter 1

You let yourself be pulled through the spiral of light emanating from the ground bridge. Traveling via the alien tech was a feeling that no one could describe. The closest thing to it was like having a magnet in your chest be pulled faster than your brain could register before spitting you back out on the other side. It had taken many practice runs for you to not throw off your stabilizers and stick the landing. Though it still made you dizzy and a bit sick.

After landing behind Bee in a heavily wooded area, you quickly scan the trees for energy signatures. Your scanners were only programmed to detect the Decepticon drones and of course the energy signatures of your comrades. Bumblebee signaled for you to fall in behind him and you promptly obeyed. You could feel the way your heart pounded against your ribcage where your body rested snug inside the metal chest of your mech. Your consciousness flawlessly divided between the two bodies. One living metal, and one flesh. Energon flowed steady through your lines as you tried to calm the slight tremor of your hand that came with the rush of adrenaline.

Ahead you could see the energon mine in the waning light. A clearing with a large metal structure in the center. The two huge metal doors at the entrance had been blown wide open to reveal the tunnel that went deep inside the earth to extract the precious ore. The human sentries, once posted outside, were nowhere to be found. Vehicles were overturned and some still smoldered where they had been hit with plasma bolts. You switch to internal comms so you can communicate with Bee without anyone on the outside hearing.

“Second wave in twenty. Nineteen….”

You slowly count down the seconds until the others arrive so you can rush the structure together. Adjusting your grip on your rifle you study entrance trying to imagine just what awaited you inside. Clearly a monster. Looking to your left you see Bumblebee gripping his null ray, an uncharacteristically stoic look on his face. You had some form of friendship with all the autobots, but you were closest to the little yellow scout. Perhaps it was shared interest or the fact that he seemed more your age. Whatever the case, you had shared so many things with each other over the two ish years that you had been a part of Project Archangel. Only once did you ask him about his home.

He looked saddened at the question and at first you thought he wouldn’t answer you. But he did. You spent the better part of a day listening to how he didn’t know Cybertron before it had been nearly obliterated by the war. It had been a planet filled with culture, music, and arts. No factions to speak of. A united Cybertron. But then came the slow divide of the classes. The divide grew until there were only the obscenely wealthy, and those who had nothing. That’s when, from the pits of Kaon, came the leader of the Decepticon faction.

Megatron.

Bumblebee described him as charismatic and well spoken. Someone bots wanted to rally behind. Many of the Autobots started out as Decepticons in the early days of the war. Taking down the government brick by brick until nothing remained. When it came time to build a new government, Megatron wasn’t satisfied. He wanted all the bots and their families who dared oppress him gone. Obliterated until nothing was left. He ended up doing exactly that. This cost him many followers and eventually after many thousands of years, his home. He didn’t stop. Blaming the Autobots for the lack of energon and destruction on Cybertron.

With a dead world and nowhere to go, the Autobots turned to the libraries in what was left of Iacon. There they found records of worlds seeded with energon by the 13 original Primes. A failsafe in case something were to happen to Cybertron. Optimus Prime lead the remaining Autobots off world to look for a suitable new home. Of course Megatron followed. They tore their way through 11 uninhabited worlds while trying to find one that suited them best. Stripping the worlds of their energon before moving on to the next. Earth was the first seeded world to have intelligent life. Optimus made it his sole mission to keep that intelligent life from having to endure the horrors of the war they brought with them.

It was nearly impossible due to the ever present evil that lurked in the sky. The Nemesis, like a dark cloud, hung overhead when you looked up. What kind of monsters would tear apart their home just to make a point? You were about to find out. A ground bridge portal appeared nearly blinding her as she adjusted her optics to its harsh blue light. Four bots landed and immediately began sprinting towards the entrance. Your peds began to automatically move. The yellow scout close on your heels as the two of you followed your comrades inside. Drones swarmed around you the instant you broke the entrance. Inside you could see Cliffjumper, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and one of your brothers in arms Michael. His mech was a heavy class. Not very good at maneuvering but excellent at breaking things. Throwing a drone into a wall with the butt of your rifle, you turn to Bee and chuckle over comms.

“I was expecting more of a fight. This is a fairly average number of drones.”

He didn’t reply right away as he tried to pull a drone off of one of the lambo twins. You couldn’t tell which one because of the sheer number of bodies trying to suffocate the bot. Using your jump jets you propel yourself forward and into the pile sending a good number of the drones flying. They broke easily, not filled with much energon either. It made you wonder just how the Decepticons managed to manufacture so many drones while the Autobots controlled the energon. With the last of the drones dispatched, you look around and regroup with the others. Slowly you start moving further into the mine. Eventually it would open up into a huge cavern. It would be beautiful if not for the dread that had settled over the group like a thick fog. Suddenly your comm crackled to life as Sideswipe replied to your earlier comment in Bumblebee’s stead.

“We’ll get a good fight eventually. These tin cans are just the appetizer for the main course. It’s confirmed, Shockwave is here. I’ve been itching to dig my fist into that lone optic of his.”

He emphasized his excitement by sending his fist into the shoulder of his brother. The golden bot gave him a sour look but didn’t retort like he normally would have. The energy of the Autobots had been stoic ever since it was confirmed that the first Decepticon on scene was Shockwave. You had no idea what to expect. You knew Shockwave was a scientist and known for his cruel and unusual experiments during the war on Cybertron. He created the most horrific weapons used in the Great War, so he must be someone to fear at the very least.

As you make your way down, you begin to hear a long drawn out noise. Almost like a squeaky door hinge but amplified, bouncing off the walls of the mine shaft. Then there was the screaming. You had wondered what happened to the sentries who were stationed outside. Now you knew. A deep voice rumbled from up ahead. It was cold, unfeeling, and filled you with dread.

“Test 8 unsuccessful. Most illogical. Send another.”

There was that horrible sound like metal rending and then another shriek cut short. Before a sigh of resignation came from nearby. It wasn’t Shockwave who made the noise of dissatisfaction. Another Decepticon. Your heart pounded as you look over at your fellow bots to see if they heard the same thing you did. If their wide optics were any indication, they had. Two Decepticons. Not just one. You listened closely as the other bot seemed to pace back and forth in front of the opening to the cavern. You and your companions were split on either side of the entrance, listening but not yet entering the space.

The other Decepticon doesn’t speak and suddenly he goes eerily silent. It made your hair stand on end and you almost felt like you were being watched. Could Decepticons see through reinforced steel? You shook your helm at the thought. No way. But after a heartbeat he said something that had your heart in your throat.

“Shockwave wrap it up. We aren’t alone.”

Cliffjumper growled into his comm in recognition of the voice.

“Spinster. He’s going to be trouble.”

Who is this sassy lost child. Screamer has his work cut out for him here. Just practicing comic layout. Anyway here is my first attempt at illustrating my upcoming fic Emptiness Machine.

(Based off of that one scene in Toy Story with Buzz and Jessie where she does that backflip and it makes his wings flip up I love that scene it’s so cute.)

Alright so here is another fanart inspired by @revelboo and her fic True Romance featuring the seeker trine. I am a HUGE fan of her writing so go check her out. I posted both the sketch and the colored version because I wasn’t sure how I felt about the color. Still teaching myself procreate. Anyway enjoy! Starscream doesn’t know how to relax

I’m curious for those that do follow me…are you here for my writing or my fan art? Just wanna know what’s most important to focus on.

Emptiness Machine

Transformers X Mech Pilot AU

Author notes: (Wowza I didn’t expect such a positive reaction to my nonsense! Here is a blurb to test the waters. See what y’all think! Let me know if you want more. 👀)

TW: (needle mentioned briefly, mention of alcohol to describe a feeling, reader cusses a little bit.)

Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you only half hear the blaring alarm. You stare at the ceiling for moment, trying to get your brain to wake up enough to process the announcement over the loudspeaker.

“Decepticon activity coordinates delta seven, bearing nine. Threat level Magenta. Pilot SERAPHIM to the launch bay.”

The words repeated as the red overhead lights flashed. No one could sleep through this, you thought as you rolled out of your cot. Feet hitting the cold floor you let your training take over. Autopilot was the only way to operate on days like this. Despite not being out late or having anything to drink the night before, you felt hungover and woozy. The Energon micro-infusions you and the other pilots received must be to blame. Donning your pilot gear and clicking your mask into place you finally start to feel whole again. Being outside of your mech felt like hell. Exposed like a nerve and vulnerable. Feeling so small, you shake your head trying to figure out how you ever lived without that soul connection to your machinery.

You grab your communicator, linking it to your headset and running out the door. Hallways bustled and noise reverberated through the massive metal building as soldiers and Autobots alike made their way around the base. You dodged around giant peds, apologizing when you almost knock right into Hound. The bot putting up his hands and giving a startled whoa as you bolt towards the hangar doors. This was home. The metallic smell of oil and energon hit you as you ran up the ramp to your mech. She was beautiful. Orange and teal accents over ivory plating. The wing and eye insignia on her shoulder alongside tally marks of all the victories you had won. Her optics offline and her lines hooked up to refuel, she looked lifeless. An empty machine.

You smiled remembering the first time you had met a Cybertronian. They were appalled to learn that the mechs they fought alongside weren’t Cybertronian, but were in fact piloted by humans. The bots now compared you to a spark within your mech, your consciousness becoming that of the metal behemoth you piloted. You yelled a greeting to your launch officer as he walked through the protocols and commands before helping you into the chest of your mech. Settling yourself into the gel seat made just for you, you feel the sting of the needle inserted into the back of your neck. Your eyes roll back and the familiar sensation of falling tugs at your limbs. The micro amounts of energon in your bloodstream prickle as your nerves switch to feeling cold.

Optics coming online and flickering as your consciousness links up with your mech. Your servos twitch, testing your movement slowly via the launch officer’s commands. Rolling your shoulders as the energy lines disconnect and the link is complete. The HUD is always a bit disorienting, vitals and stats crowding your vision as it adjusts. The tiny body your consciousness left is nestled snug in your chest. You reach for your weapon where it was leaned, charging next to the bay. A familiar voice to your right makes you turn.

“Ready there Sera?” Your vocal apparatus crackles to life as you reply.

“Had to get my bearings Bee. Consciousness transfer never gets easier.” Energy thrums through your lines and you feel whole once more. You worked alongside the Bumblebee as a fellow scout. Your mech being a lighter class helped with the stealth aspect of intelligence gathering. Most of the other pilots were male, making you one of the few female pilots to survive the initial testing. You felt proud of your accomplishments since the war for energon began.

“What is our mark.” You ask following the yellow bot out onto the launchpad. A ground bridge was already open and humming ominously. He had an alt mode but you didn’t, your mech not able to transform. Using a ground bridge was the only way to get your mech anywhere far away fast. It wasn’t your favorite way of travel, personally you favored the jump jets your mech was equipped with. Something about soaring through the sky was the most liberating feeling you had ever experienced.

“We’ve got a high level threat. At least three cons attacked one of our mines in Australia. I heard Shockwave had some dangerous experiment. We’ve gotta do some reconnaissance before we go take it back.” He smirked before shoving at your shoulder making you stumble a bit. “Try to keep up this time.” You smile at him as he disappears into the swirling light. Something about this mission seemed off. Everyone seemed a little too stoic for this to be a routine take back. Shrugging off the seed of doubt you lift your ion cannon and mount it to your shoulder. Calibrating your weapons and getting ready for whatever fresh hell awaited you.

Hear me out…Mech pilot AU for transformers…

Here’s a blurb!

Got this idea while scrolling. Would y’all read a fic about reader being a mech pilot for an organization on earth called “Project Archangel”

Reader has a beautiful mech, very good at fighting and has impressive weaponry

Cybertronians get to earth and start bringing their war here like they do

Autobots get introduced to the very few mech pilots the humans have to offer

Humans when piloting their mech BECOME THE MECH’S SPARK MAKING IT NEARLY CYBERTRONIAN AND VERY ALIVE to the horror of most of the actual cybertronians

Chaos ensues. I’ll explain more if I decide to write it. Idk if this is stupid but I want to write it. Tell me what you think.

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous Part 5

Warnings: none

You stare open mouthed at the giant metal being that seemingly materialized out of thin air before you. Once a jet and now…you aren’t sure what it is. With its cannons and cruel looking fists clenched at its sides. Everything inside you tells you that you aren’t supposed to see this. Your heartbeat now in your throat, you begin to back away. Slowly trying to put as much distance between you and the terrifying government experiment as you can. Because surely that’s what it is right? The government had to have made this thing as some type of war weapon or surveillance drone. Testing it in a rural area where no one was supposed to be. You were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. But who would believe you? Turning to bolt, your foot lands heavy on a particularly dry twig. The loud snap makes you wince and you freeze. Breath shuddering as you turn your head to see if that thing had heard. It had. The deep sound of metal creaking sends shivers through your body as it turns its huge head towards you and scowls. Finding you with its gaze, bright red eyes cast an eerie glow over the snow covered ground. ‘Move! Move!’ Your internal voice is shrieking at your legs to run but you stand frozen under the gaze of that giant, gaping at it stupidly. Then it tilts its head. To your absolute horror it begins to approach, footfalls shaking the ground. Finally, whatever icy grip the fear had on your legs was broken and you tear off towards where you parked your car. Wind whipping through your hair as you try to outrun that thing. Too late as its hand comes down blocking your way. You try to skid to a halt and end up careening straight into its palm. You let out a shriek as fingers close around you. Your heart beats out of your chest as you are lifted into the air and held eye level with the giant. Its mechanical optics search your face before it opens its mouth and a deep rumbling voice speaks. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”

It’s that same meddlesome human again. Starscream knows he should just squish it and be done with the whole ordeal. It’s tiny fragile body all too easily crushed in his servos. He tightens his grip seemingly to test just how easy it would be. The human cries out, pitifully clawing at his digits, trying to get free. He growls, loosening his bruising grip to an uncharacteristically gentle hold. The human freezes staring up at him with wide scared eyes. It’s little mouth open as it breathes raggedly in his servo. He feels the pounding of its little heart as he holds it there. Frozen with fear and looking up at him as if it expected to be ended at any second. It starts to speak in a stuttering little voice that is almost as pathetic as it looks. “You aren’t supposed to be here either.” It lifts its head staring defiantly back at him. “What are you some kind of government experiment?” Cheeky little thing. Even in the face of certain death it stutters out a reply.

Your mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour but your body is frozen stiff with fear. Out of fight, flight, and freeze you’ve always thought you’d be a fighter. This scenario is so absurd that your brain can’t keep up. You glare up at it trying to appear bigger than you are. That thing doesn’t reply, leaning in closer to examine you. Looking much too closely for your liking. You cringe back holding your arms in front of your face and duck your head trying to protect it. The creature gives a heavy sigh and leans back to give you space. “You shouldn’t be here. You should have learned your lesson the first time.” He growls. It’s a he you decide. It’s deep voice reverberating through your tiny form. You tilt your head. What does he mean by ‘the first time?’ Does he know something about what happened to you. “What do you mean by the first time?” You manage to squeak out. Your voice sounding much smaller than you had hoped.

Starscream stops, considering his next words carefully. Clearly the tiny thing can’t remember what had happened to it. Honestly he didn’t expect it to be so intelligent in the first place. So capable of communicating and defiant as he holds its little life in his servos. It’s definitely the same human from before. The scar on its forehead evidence of his blunder from weeks ago. But it doesn’t know, doesn’t remember somehow. Perhaps he’d knocked its processor too hard and damaged its internal systems. Whatever the case. He could lie to it. Make it believe anything he wanted to. He thought for a moment before coming up with a perfect lie. “I am from your ‘government’ and about three weeks ago you got caught in the middle of a sort of weapons testing. We had a malfunction and you were unfortunately caught in it. If I hadn’t been here when it happened you’d have perished.” He smiled wickedly, preening a bit. His wings twitched, proud of the lie he came up with. But the little human just stared up at him with its round eyes. Little heart racing and its chest rising and falling as it breathed. Finally it managed a reply. “…t…thank you. For saving my life.”

🎀Masterlist🎀

Not currently doing commissions but I love asks and requests!

(This blog is for fun only)

Blog rating: 16+ (I include TW if needed)

Hey there it’s rocketeer!

Below is my master list. My blog is Transformers and Star Wars only so enjoy! I am an artist (BFA in 2D studio art) and an aspiring writer. I just post nonsense and stuff I love. Feel free to ask me anything or request!

Rendezvous (StarscreamXReader)

Rendezvous

Rendezvous part 2

Rendezvous part 3

Rendezvous part 4

Rendezvous part 5

Rendezvous part 6

Transformers X Mech Pilot

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous Part 4

Warnings: none

You pack a few things to take to the lake with you as you plan to be out there until nightfall. There was no one to stop you from going on this little expedition of yours. You had left all of your friends behind when you and your ex had broken up. A new start in a new state. Of course your mother’s death had come around the same time you were looking for somewhere to go. The stars aligned and you ended up in nowhere Appalachia. You had tried to make friends here and get along with your new coworkers. Unfortunately, that had proven more difficult than you had expected. Making and keeping friends as an adult in an established area is hard. After you had piled all the necessities into your car, you gave one last look in the mirror. The unsightly scar on your forehead a glaring reminder that something awful had happened. You sigh as a heavy feeling weighs your shoulders down. It was time to find out exactly what.

“Those idiots! I told them to be careful around the falling ice! Those caves aren’t stable enough anymore!” Starscream slams a data pad against the wall next to Skywarp’s head. The other mech doesn’t flinch as if used to his brother’s outburst, shrugging and putting his hands up in surrender. “Listen I told em but they wouldn’t hear it and now one of us is going to have to report our losses to Megatron. Since you were in charge of this whole thing like you insisted…” Starscream didn’t let him finish. Shouldering past the purple mech to go accept the consequences of his most recent blunder.

The drive to the lake is uneventful and filled with dread. Turning onto that all too familiar dirt track, you notice that the snow was beginning to melt. Though winter was far from over, it was going to be hard to find any useful clues in the slush. You park and don your backpack and snow spikes. Slippery was an understatement. All you needed was to end up in the middle of that lake again. You shudder at the thought. Making your way around the lake, you notice a few things out of place. Broken tree branches, large gashes made in the ground partially covered in snow, and the oddest out of the bunch was the completely shattered boulders in the clearing nearby. When you were younger, you and your sibling used to come and play on these giant boulders. Now they look like they had been bulldozed. On closer inspection, some appear to have been melted. None of this made sense. If it was some new site for construction you’d see yellow tape right? Perhaps a few orange cones? You look up at the broken branches again. Something big came through here. Something impossibly big.

Wiping the energon off of his freshly split lip, Starscream skulks back to his habisuit. His wings droop tiredly behind him. He’s sick of this. Sick of Megatron’s temper. Sick of the incompetent fools he has to command. Sick of taking the blame. It’s as if his leader enjoys seeing him fail. Enjoys taking out his frustrations on him. As much ambition as he has, he can’t imagine a world where Megatron would willingly give up the power he has to the seeker. With a loud frustrated growl he throws the chair at his desk against the wall leaving a dent in the metal. Venting heavily he sends his fist into the wall next. Yelling his frustration to no one in particular. No one to listen because this is a brutal reminder that he’s alone. Always alone. As he leans his helm up against the wall, baring his denta in a grimace and shuttering his optics. His thoughts drift back to that little human. Reaching its tiny hand out to him. As if he were the only one that could fix them. He was the one who nearly froze them to death anyway. Of course it was his responsibility. Everything he touches ends up hurt. Pushing away from the wall he heads towards the exit. He wanted to be alone and he knew the perfect place.

It was nearly nightfall. Dusk had cast purple and pink light over the picturesque mountain lake you had been exploring all day. You sigh and put the notepad and pencil you had just been using to scribble on away. Nothing made sense and you feel like you had wasted a whole day trying to find something out. Kicking a rock as frustration pricks through you, you head back to your car defeated. That’s when you hear it. The distant whine of jet engines. Just as the sun dips below the horizon, plunging the lake in a deep inky blue. You turn towards the noise and reach for your flashlight. The sound was…familiar. You could swear it sounded just like how you remembered in your semiconscious state. You decide to hide amongst the destroyed rocks to see what was making that noise. What you saw made your heart nearly burst out of your chest.

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous Part 3

Rating 18+ (TW blood, mentions of death, Starscream is silly doesn’t know anything about humans)

Starscream unclenches his fist where he had slammed it on the desk next to you. His optics dart to the tiny hand reaching out for him. Desperation and pain etched in your features. It was like his servos started moving on their own towards your hunched figure. He slowly, carefully wrapped his hand around behind you letting you rest against it. His optics widen in surprise as you lean your little fragile body into him. He can feel your tiny heartbeat, weak at the moment, against his palm.

Everything is just noise and color. The throbbing in your head is the only thing keeping you conscious. It was warm and dark but now it feels as if you’ve been placed on a freezing cold glass surface. Reaching towards the heat once more, you try to speak but only a pained groan slips from your chest. Your head swam as you tried to sit up and look around. Clearly you weren’t at a hospital yet and that alarmed you. Half broken thoughts spilled into your brain as you reached out for something. Anything to grasp to keep you in this reality. In your half conscious state you feel something warm and gentle press against your back grounding you in your panic. Leaning gratefully into it you lose consciousness once more, the color draining from your face.

Gently, Starscream lifts you to rest against his chassis alongside his canopy. After you reached for him he figured out what you were searching for was warmth. But there was still a huge problem. The human is still leaking that awful deep red liquid from the gash on its processor. Impatient, he paced the length of the room, just holding you to him as he tried to figure out what to do with you. He couldn’t fix it. He knew nothing about humans and it was clear that his first interaction with one had ended as all things do with him. Whatever he touches ends up dead or suffering. He vents trying not to think about how many things he’s tried to keep and lost. Stopping to examine you leaned against his chest plate, he makes up his mind. Alarm ringing through his frame as he examines your lifeless and slowly greying form. He’ll take you to your own kind. They can fix this. He opens his canopy and places you gently inside. Once more trying his best not to jostle you as moves down the hallway for a third time that night. He transforms and takes off as fast as he can towards the town.

~3 weeks later~

Your alarm wakes you early on a Saturday morning. It had been awhile since your accident and still no one was able to tell you exactly what happened to you. Fire fighters had discovered you outside of a remote fire station at the base of the mountain. That station was located about twenty miles from the lake. The lake was the last place you remember being conscious. You became the talk of the town. People everywhere wanted to know what exactly had happened on that night. You keep hearing over and over that you are lucky to be alive at all. After a moment, you run a cautious hand over the place on your forehead where you received nine stitches, grimacing as the pain still lingered. So many unanswered questions roll through your mind as you get ready. Today was the day you’d go back to that lake. You needed answers and the only way to get them was to go yourself.

After dropping you off, Starscream hovered in the air above the station. He needed to make absolute sure the humans inside took you in. If only to keep the pathetic thing off of his conscience. He kept telling himself that he didn’t really care about the pitiful little creature. But his thoughts kept straying to the way you reached out for him. That utter dependence on him and his complete lack of knowledge took him off guard. He can’t help himself. Every single night since then he keeps coming back to that lake. If only to be away from it all. But a small part of him hopes he’ll see you alive and well. He didn’t want to admit how desperately he wanted to feel needed again.

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous Part 2

Rating: 18+ (TW: blood, reader hits their head hard)

Frag. Could this day get any worse? He can’t throw it back into the lake now. Starscream just stares at the tiny frozen organic clutched in his servos. Looking around he tries to think of a way to get rid of it without having to deal with it, when it suddenly whimpers. A pitiful sound as it comes to and begins to shiver. It’s unsettling the way it weakly tries to squirm in his grasp. He grimaces lifting it closer to his optics again. That’s when he noticed the gash on its forehead. It’s leaking. Oozing dark red liquid from where he assumed was it’s processor. He could feel its weak heartbeat against his palm and he knew he had to do something fast. Or he’d have a bigger problem on his hands. Running a hand over his faceplate in exasperation, he decides the best course of action would be to get it somewhere warm first. Maybe he could figure out how to get it to stop leaking. Carefully he transformed around the little thing and took off towards the base. He knew he’d have to be careful. If the others saw his mistake, that could mean a fate far worse than freezing to death for you.

Light and sound were the only discernible sensation besides a deep, bone jarring chill. Your teeth chatter as you try to rouse yourself. ‘Don’t fall asleep.’ You think as you feel a warmth envelop you. Someone must have found you and drug you out of the lake. This was rural Appalachia. It was a miracle anyone was within fifteen miles of where you were. You reach a shaky hand to your forehead, bringing it away sticky with blood. Confused you try to get a sense of where you are. Your eyes won’t cooperate, everything is fuzzy and unfocused. The faint sound of a jet engine made you scrunch your brow. Perhaps you were being airlifted to the hospital? You reach up a hand weakly resting it on the canopy above you. Silently thanking whatever gods were watching over you this night. Your eyes grew so heavy you feared you’d slip away forever. Head throbbing and clothes still soaking wet from your fall into the lake, you shiver until exhaustion takes you.

Returning to base, Starscream lands in his alt mode carefully keeping you hidden in his canopy. He transforms, aware of your limp body resting against the inside of his frame. Shuddering at the sensation, he tries his best not to jostle you around as he strides inside. Luckily the hallways are mostly empty and he arrives at his quarters with no uncomfortable questions asked. After gently lifting you from his canopy, he places you on his desk. Kneeling so he can assess the damage. You flop alarmingly limp from his servo onto the hard surface. Your jacket, still full of water, makes an awful squishing noise. He grimaces, trying his best to figure out how to get you out of your soaked coverings. His servos much too big as he fumbles with the clasps of your jacket. After struggling for awhile he family manages to shake you free of your jacket. He jumps a bit, his wings flicking when you let out a pained groan from being handled. After gently putting you down again he begins to pace in front of the desk. What was he thinking bringing you here? He didn’t know slag about humans. He let out a frustrated growl slamming his fist onto the desk next to you. This roused you enough to lift your head and stare blearily up at him. Clearly your optics weren’t working correctly because you actually reach out a tiny shaking hand towards his fist. He watches intently as you mumble incoherently to him. Needing his help. Needing him. His optics widen at the realization. One thing was clear. He has to find a way to save you.