Ninjago Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

Cole: "quick animal fact: most sharks do not attend church"

[Cole and Kai giggle]

Jay: "quick animal fact: birds can be funny"

Kai: "even quicker animal fact: monkeys like banana"

Cole: "shit, that is a good fact"

Cole: "quickest animal fact: monkeys live."

[Kai and Jay wheeze]

Kai: "most monkeys live"

[they all laugh, wheeze and cough]

Jay: "some monke alive"

[they die laughing like dumbasses]

New year, new me! Sharing some Illegal Elemental masters incorrect quotes! (Read the fic HERE if you haven’t!!)

Under cut for spoilers

For better ref (left to right, top to down.)

Chen: *sigh* what do you have there.

Skylor waving a sword: a knife!

Chen running towards her: NO!

Jay: they are behind me… aren’t they?

Nya behind him with water hands ready to attack him:

Master wu waiting for Jay to find the other ninja: *sipping oversized teacup.*

Jay praying: Please let this be a normal job…

Master Wu: *Awkwardly adverts gaze.*

Cole with his hand on a counter: He asked for no pickles.

Lloyd with a sad expression next to him:

Dareth swearing: Sir… this is Dareth’s Mojo Dojo…

Jay and Skylor posing over Chens grave: :D

[phone rings and Kai picks it up]

Kai: Oh hi, what’s up?

Garmadon: I see you…

Kai:

Garmadon:

Kai:

Garmadon:

Kai: Do I look fabulous or what?

Jay: Y’know, I’m not totally useless. I can always be used as a bad example.

Nya: I’ll be the evidence.

Cole: I can be the support!

Kai: I can be the good example!

Lloyd: I’ll be.. the claim?

Zane: I can be the counter-argument!

Pixal: I’ll be disappointed.

Jay: What are you? Two?

Kai: Yeah, two feet taller than you!

Jay: :0

Jay: >:0

Cole holding Jay back as Jay struggles: JAY NO-

Jay: KAI- I’M NOT THATS SHORT! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-

Kai: You’ll need to reach up?

Jay in the middle of writing/typing something: Oh- ah. What’s it called again??

Zane working nearby: What’s what called?

Jay: Oh you know, that… [mimes] spritz thingy with the nozzles and trigger thing.

Zane: I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.

Jay: Never mind. It’ll probably come back to me later.

Later… (3:00 am)

Jay: SPRAY BOTTLE!

Zane: AHHHH-

Jay on the phone: MASTER WU! We need your help! I-

Master Wu either just got on a faris wheel or having his tea time: Nu-uh. Is a great evil back?

Jay: Well… no?

Master Wu: Are the Oni returning?

Jay: …. No?

Master Wu: Then it’s not an emergency. *hangs up*

Cole: What did he say? What do we go about the portal to another realm in our living room?

Jay: He said it wasn’t an emergency.

Kai being attacked by something from the portal: HOW IN THE FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY?!?

Kai: How many Jay’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

Cole: Just one, the real question is how many ladders does he need?

Jay: *offended noises*

Random guy: Oh, aren't you an angel that fell from heaven?

Zane: ...

Zane: Are you calling me a Lucifer?

Some guy: Did it hurt?

Zane: Wha-

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angel?

Cole, hugging Zane from behind: No, no it didn't. I was there to catch him

Zane: Cole, what are you doing?

Cole, gently cupping Zane's face: Hold on, there is something on your face...

Cole, kissing Zane: Oh, that was me

How many people at school or in general tried to befriend hellspawn just so they could get to meet the ninja or have the ability to boast about being connected to them through hellspawn? Cause, like, there is no way this won't ever happen.

A lot, unfortunately.

They'd ask all sorts of questions like what the inside of the monastery looks like and whether she can teach them Spinjitzu. (Well she can't. Blame Lloyd for saying she's too young for anything) Cue them later asking what the ninja are really like and whether Kai's hair is actually real. Does Zane need to be charged before battle? Is Nya still with Jay? What does Cole do in his spare time? Why are Lloyd's eyebrows suddenly so different? Is Wu really that old? Are they allowed to come to the monastery?

You'd think getting that amount of attention and interest would be fun for someone that young but it's the opposite actually. It's great at first but starts sucking after a while. No one really cares to ask her about her after she told them she doesn't have Lloyd's powers or anything like that. A conversation with those kids almost always involves someone asking something about her dad or Uncle Zane or Uncle Jay and she gets bored. Speaking of which, what's so interesting about her dad, anyway? He picks his nose, he burns tea—

And then there's this boy who basically worships Kai and all hellspawn's thinking in her head is the last time there was a fire in the courtyard and her Aunt Ni looked like she wanted to murder someone. He says he really wants to meet Kai someday cuz he's cool, and definitely should've been the Green Ninja instead of Lloyd who barely deserved it. As soon as hellspawn heard that she was like: what did u say.

To spare you the details, she got into some *cough* minor trouble — which Lloyd freaked out at because when he was at Darkley's, he was the one being hit and the last thing he wants is for her to end up like one of Gene's goons at the age of only fIVE.

So naturally, he spent at least twenty minutes giving her a whole lecture about why she should never hit others and how wrong it is, causing her to sulk and tell him what the heck happened.

Silence.

Lloyd: He's right.

Hellspawn, blinks: What?

Lloyd: Kai should've been the Green Ninja.

Hellspawn: But—

Lloyd, shrugs: Well he trained, he worked hard — he wanted it a lot more than anyone. I was just some dumb kid that ended up with it. *forces a smile* Destiny's weird, don't you think?

Hellspawn: ...

Later, she finds Kai who's in the middle of sharpening his sword and asks him about it.

Hellspawn bites her lip: Do you still wish it was you?

Uncle Kai, stares at her incredulously: Of course. I could've FIXED Lloyd's whole life—

Can't believe that these live in my head while starring the most hurtful line in Ninjago history.

Lloyd comes home with his report card: Dad, I failed Chinese—

Garmadon: I have no son.

........................

Lloyd, comes out as trans: I don't think I belong in this body, Dad.

Garmadon: I have no son.

.....................................................

Garmadon: I have no so—

Lloyd interrupts him: But you still owe me about nineteen years of child support—and yes, the Tomorrow's Tea actually counts.

...........

Bonus,

Garmadon: I have no son.

Also Garmadon moments later: picks up Christofern.

Basically what if current Lloyd meets baby him. Logic is a foreign concept, you have been warned.

Lloyd to his younger self : What on Earth possessed you to get that haircut?

Younger Lloyd : What on Earth possessed you to look like this? Did you fill in your eyebrows or something?

Lloyd : uh, no—

Younger Lloyd cuts him off : and why are your eyes green anyway? Did you put contacts on because you disowned dad? Are...are you ashamed of dad?

Lloyd : .....

Younger Lloyd crosses his arms : Well?

Lloyd : I — I —

Younger Lloyd : yeah, you what?

Lloyd, literally about to break down sobbing : He disowned me!

This was funnier in my head lol.

I've Found The One

Lloyd, after finally giving dating another chance : Guys, I think I've found the one.

Kai (chokes on coffee) : W-What—

Nya : See? I told you that there's other fish in the sea.

Zane : Congratulations on overcoming your traumatic experience, Lloyd.

Jay : Why, won't you look at that! Damn I thought I'd have to set you up with the new Starfarer lead—

Cole : Wow. Who's the lucky girl?

Lloyd walks to the fridge while smirking at Cole : ....meet cake.

Misako, watching Wu and lord Garmadon fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

Lloyd, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

Misako: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?

Wu: Lloyd .

Lord Garmadon: Lloyd .

Lloyd : Me.

_______________________________

Misako: We need to distract you're father and uncle.

Lloyd: Leave it to me.

Lloyd: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Wu & Sensei Garmadon: *immediately begin arguing*

____________________________________

Lloyd, teaching Misako to drive the ninja's faster vehicles: Okay, you're driving and Dad and Uncle Wu walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Misako: Oh, definitely Wu. I could never hurt you're father.

Lloyd, massaging his temples: The brakes, Mom. You hit the brakes.

____________________________________

Lloyd, holding a Wii mote with a knife attached: Are Wii gonna have a problem?

Emperor Garmadon, bringing out their switch remote with a blade: You best switch up that attitude.

-An hour later...-

Wu, in the ambulance: Wii-U! Wii-U! Wii-U!

Misako: I worry for this insane family.

____________________________________

Wu: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Lloyd: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Misako: I got distracted halfway through.

Lord Garmadon : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

____________________________________

Lloyd: I fell down the stairs today...

Wu: I hope you're okay.

Emperor Garmadon: Stop falling down the stairs.

Misako: How'd the ground taste?

____________________________________

Wu: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Lloyd: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Sensei Garmadon: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Lloyd: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Misako: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Lloyd: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

____________________________________

Lloyd : *Gasp*

Wu: wHAT??

Lloyd: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Wu: *inhales*

Garmadon, in another room with Misako: Why can I hear screeching?

____________________________________

Sensei Garmadon: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip?

Lloyd: Yea, I could drink legally!

Misako: I can do more research!

Wu: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

____________________________________

Evil Wu Au

Misako: So Wu was just using me?

Garmadon: I’m sorry, Misako.

Lloyd, trying to contain his amusement: You must feel pretty stupid right now.

Misako:

Garmadon: Ok, that’s a time-out.

Lloyd: No, I was just trying to-

Garmadon: Go sit over there!

Lloyd: *walks away in defeat*

____________________________________

Sensei Garmadon: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Wu, Misako, & Lloyd: Okay.

Garmadon: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Misako: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Lloyd: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Wu: Bold of you to assume I can die.

More Ninjago incorrect quotes Garmadon Family edition

*Lloyd texting Sensei Garmadon*

Lloyd: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.

Garmadon: Isn't you're mom there?

Lloyd: Yes but I like you more.

Young Misako : You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Young Garmadon: Eat a nickel.

Young Misako : A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.

Young Wu: Eat a nickel.

Young Misako : Ok.

Lloyd: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Sensei Garmadon: It's Misako 's turn.

Misako : Don't die.

Sensei Garmadon, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Lloyd: what do you see in this woman???

Young Garmadon: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Young Misako: What's wrong with you??

Young Garmadon: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Young Wu: No, they mean other than that.

Young Garmadon: Ohhhhhh.

Young Garmadon: I haven't slept in 4 days.

OR like father like son

Lloyd: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Sensei Garmadon: What's wrong with you??

Lloyd: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Misako: No, they mean other than that.

Lloyd: Ohhhhhh.

Lloyd: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Lil Lloyd, texting Lord Garmadon: Dad! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Lord Garmadon: Where are you?

Lil Lloyd: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Lord Garmadon: I'll call Wu.

Wu, answering their cell: hello brother?

Lord Garmadon: Where's Lloyd? He texted me that he's were being kidnapped.

Wu: Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Wu:

Wu: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Wu: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Lil Lloyd: WHO ARE YOU!?

Lloyd: I have a bad feeling about this...

Emperor Garmadon: What do you mean?

Lloyd: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Emperor Garmadon: No?

Wu: That actually explains so much.

Wu to lil Lloyd: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Lord Garmadon, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Wu: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Wu: We need a distraction.

Lord Garmadon, turning to the Ninja: one of you go to be good at jumping up and down and making weird noises right?

Lil Lloyd, whispering: My time has come.

Wu: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Lil Lloyd: What the fuck???

Lord Garmadon: They’re having an idea.

Emperor Garmadon: So... This is my full potential?

Harumi: Yes.

Emperor Garmadon: So, then it's...

Emperor Garmadon: All downhill from here.

Harumi: Like Lloyd.

Emperor Garmadon: I do not know what this Lloyd is. But it sounds disappointing.

Misako, excitedly: Heeyy!!

Sensei Garmadon: Hey, someone's excited.

Lloyd, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Lil Lloyd: *cooking*

Lord Garmadon: *kicks down door*

Lord Garmadon: *grabs knife from Lloyd's hand*

Lord Garmadon: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Lil Lloyd:

Lil Lloyd: What???

Wu: he doesn't trust you with sharp objects because he's scared going to turn evil like him.

Lloyd, to Sensei Garmadon: You know, Mom can be really passive aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Lloyd: *blows airhorn at Misako* GET FUCKED!

Young Garmadon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Young Wu, used to Garmadon being dumb: Sure...

Young Garmadon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Young Wu: Okay?

Young Garmadon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Young Wu:

Young Garmadon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Young Wu: Jesus, that one is a little-

Young Misako, interested: No, no, Garmadon, keep going.

Misako: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Garmadon: Sure.

Misako: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Garmadon: ...down?

Misako: N-

Lloyd: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Misako:

Misako: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... In the name of the first spinjitzu Master...

Wu: So, what's it like living with Lloyd?

Sensei Garmadon: he once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Wu: ...

Sensei Garmadon: I love my son so much.

Lloyd: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Wu does? What if they jump off a cliff?

Sensei Garmadon: If Wu were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Wu jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Lloyd: You jump off a cliff.

Sensei Garmadon: Gladly, provided Wu did first.

Garmadon: I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you here today. It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room.

Lloyd: Why did you say that so vaguely? Mom and I are literally the only people you called in here.

Lloyd, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick!

Garmadon: Moose Tracks is good!

Misako: What the fuck is that!?

Garmadon: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo-

Misako: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.

Lloyd and Garmadon: what?

Misako: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?

Lloyd: You done now?

Misako: Yeah ok.

Lloyd and Garmadon: ...

Misako: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

Garmadon: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Lloyd: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Misako, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Garmadon: You're a bad influence.

Lloyd: And you don't know your sayings.

Lloyd: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Misoko: Wasn’t you're dad with you?

Sensei Garmadon: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Wu: Say no to drugs.

Emporer Garmadon: Say yes to drugs.

Lloyd: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Emperor Garmadon: All I did was kill Lloyd, is that really such a crime?

Misako:

Misako: Yes?!

Misako: HELP! I TOLD LLOYD I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Wu, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Sensei Garmadon: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Lloyd: Bleach.

Wu: Sewage.

Sensei Garmadon: ...Please calm down, edgelords.

Ninjago incorrect quotes I'm having too much fun

Nya: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week!

Lloyd: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends!

Kai: Not me.

Nya: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Jay or Zane.

Kai: It’s not me, really!

Nya: …

Kai: …But it might be Ronin…

Nya: You gave Ronin access to our Netflix account!?!?

Kai: he wanted to watch Orange is the New Black!

Nya: I’m going to kill you.

*The team at Home Depot*

Nya: *pushed in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*

Jay: *Shitting in the display toilets*

Kai: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*

Lloyd: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*

Zane: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*

Cole: *In the car sleeping*

*The team is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*

Cole: Get two more chairs!

Nya: They can get their own chairs.

Jay: Make them fight for it.

Zane: You only need one chair to beat them all with.

Lloyd: I would never be near children.

Kai: Kill two.

Zane: A mouse!

Kai, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Nya, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Lloyd, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Cole, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Jay: His name is Remi, dummy.

Zane: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

Lloyd: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Jay: No.

Kai: I did not.

Cole: I may have actually forgotten one.

Nya: Also no.

Lloyd: Oh good, neither did I.

Zane: *Exhausted sigh*

Zane: We’re kind of missing something guys.

Kai: Cohesion?

Lloyd: Teamwork?

Nya: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Cole: And Jay is not here.

Kai: Oh, and that, yeah.

Zane: Stressed.

Cole: Depressed.

Lloyd: Possessed.

Nya: Obsessed.

Jay: Impressed.

Kai: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Kai: I just wanted to join in.

Zane: You know, when Nya comes over, Jay can get a little…

Cole: Psycho?

Kai: Scary?

Lloyd: Drunk?

Zane: All three.

Before Lloyd joins the team

Jay: The floor is lava!

Cole: *helps Zane onto the counter*

Nya: *kicks Kai off the sofa*

Kai: *lays on the floor*

Jay: ...Are you okay?

Kai: No.

Jay: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Nya: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Lloyd: Waking up in the morning.

Cole: Waking up.

Kai: Waking up in the morning...

Kai: And seeing Zane.

Zane: Hey! Rude!!

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Kai: The fuck, no I'm not.

Nya: Excuse the hell out of you?

Zane: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Lloyd: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Jay: Rude.

Cole: *punches the person*

Jay: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?

Zane: I accidentally fell down.

Cole: KAI PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent!

Nya: Zane bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.

Lloyd: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Nya.

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Nya: I will not let you down.

Zane: Sounds fun.

Cole: K.

Kai: No, I'm fucking not.

Jay: Do I have to be?

Lloyd: Please god, I am so tired.

*the team at mega monster amusement park, in the teacups*

Jay, Cole, and Zane: *spinning a little and talking*

Nya, Lloyd, and Kai: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Cole: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Kai: Theft.

Nya: Disturbing the peace.

Jay: Aggravated assault.

Zane: Arson.

Lloyd: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Nya: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Zane: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Cole: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Lloyd: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Kai: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Jay: Mental stability, my old friend!

Nya: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Cole to Jay, who’s about to get married to Nya: Today, two families are becoming one.

Zane, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Kai: That sounds so threatening…

Nya: The Wedding Games…

Lloyd: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Jay: Beautiful.

Cole: Fuck all of you!

Lloyd: *dies*

Cole: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

Zane: Bullshit. One month.

Nya: Nah, half a month.

Jay, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LLOYD JUST DIED!

Kai, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Nya: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.

Kid Lloyd: You hang out with Kai, Cole, Zane, and Jay.

Kid Lloyd: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Zane: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!

Jay: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!

Cole: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!

Kai: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!

Nya: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!

Lloyd: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Nya: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Lloyd: ...I did. I broke it.

Nya: No. No you didn't. Kai?

Kai: Don't look at me. Look at Zane.

Zane: What?! I didn't break it.

Kai: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Zane: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Kai: Suspicious.

Zane: No, it's not!

Cole: If it matters, probably not, but Jay was the last one to use it.

Jay: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Cole: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Jay: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cole!

Lloyd: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Nya.

Nya: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Cole: Nya... Kai's been awfully quiet.

Kai: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Nya, talking to Sensei Wu and Sensei Garmadon: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Nya: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Nya:

Nya: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*the team in the bad timeline*

Cole: So what have you been up to recently?

Nya: Leading a revolution with Zane.

Cole: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Nya: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Cole: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Jay?

Nya: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Lloyd?

Cole: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Kai?

Nya: Cult leader.

Cole: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Zane: Doctor = $140,000 a year, Furry artist on patreon = $160,000 a year.

Lloyd: I think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh.

Zane: Sorry for the inaccuracies Doctor Yiff.

Lloyd: No matter how I respond I don’t look well, well played. I walked into that.

Nya: Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

Zane: Did you legitimately just tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in an university to give you a lung transplant?

Jay: Doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them.

Zane: You will die in 7 days.

Kai: It took doctors 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking it for attention while a furry artist I knew said “Sounds like Crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right.

Kai: Besides I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I?

Jay: You could if you weren’t a fucking coward.

Cole: This was like 50 consecutive punches to the face, what the fuck went on here.

Jay: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Jay: Violently practices.

Zane: Violently studies.

Nya: Violently sleeps.

Kai: Violently shoots pictures.

Cole: Violently boxes.

Lloyd: Violently murders people.

Nya: Violently worries about the previous statement.

Incorrects Prompts with Evil!Jay, but he's with the ninja team again.

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Lloyd: You just killed five men, what do you have to say for yourself?!

Jay: ... Oops?

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Jay: Well, this is a change of scenery.

Cole: It's a prison cell.

Jay: I was being sarcastic.

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Jay: Where's the idiot, anyway?

Cole: I'm right here.

Jay: Surprisingly, I'm not talking about you.

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Zane: You really think that this will work?

Jay: No, not at all.

Kai: Then why the heck are we doing it?!

Jay: It sounded funny.

Lloyd: We're all gonna die.

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Jay: I fell like I'm forgetting something.

Sora: Morals, probaly?

Jay: No, it's something important.

Geo: You have forget Nya at the store.

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Nya: One of these days, your smart mouth is going to get you stabbed.

Jay: Pff... As if I haven't been stabbed before.

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Random Criminal: You're quit confident for a man with over 20 guns pointed at their head.

Jay: And you're a terríble shot. Given you trained the other men, there's not much to worry over.

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Jay: Do you trust me?

Wyldfyre: No!

Jay: Smart kid.

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Nya: You know I'll win.

Jay: You know I'll fight.

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Cole: Could you at least try to be nice?

Jay: You're still breathing. That's me being fucking nice, asshole.

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Bonzle: Hey, where's your girlfriend?

Jay: She's not my girlfriend.

Bonzle: Have you told her that?

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Nya: Why are you staring at me?

Jay: I'm hoping you spontaneously combust.

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Kai: Ok, what did we have done?

Jay: What do you mean?

Cole: You are staring at us like you want to rip our head off.

Jay: Well, I'm sorry, but that's just how my face works.

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Zane: Are you there?

Jay: Physically yes. Mentally? Is debatable.

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Jay: No offense, but I can't decide between wanting to kick your ass or kissing you.

Nya: ... Honestly I prefer taking the kiss.

*It's Jay's turn to cook*

Kid Lloyd, trying to eat some of the raw dough in secret:

Jay, that's behind him: You may be the grandson of God, but salmonella is still real.

Kid Lloyd, stop for a moment and think about: ... *Puts the spoon with dough back in the bowl and leaves the kitchen*

Jay, shakes his head: You'd think he'd already learned after giving him food infection medication 9 times in the last 6 months...

Wyldfyre: I burn down my first school!

Lloyd: *laughing nervosly on the background*

Kai: *pats Lloyd shoulder* She didn't burn down the entirely school. The fire damege was limity to one or two classrooms.

Wyldfyre: I will do better on next time!

Kai: *proud* That's my girl! *High five*

Father

It appears the birds have arrived.

We must run

-Jay Walker at 3am

Inspired by:

“Ok so basically if you hurt my brother I’ll beat your fucking ass”

-Naomi Garmadon

Naomi: You guys ok? You’ve been sat there for an hour

Kai: You don’t wanna know-

Jay: What if we’ve bought milk from the same cow twice

Naomi:

Kai:

Jay:

Naomi: I regret asking

After the toaster incident 1:

Kai: FSM give me patience

Jay: Don’t you mean ‘FSM give me strength’?

Kai: If the FSM gave me strength your ass would be dead already

How is it like breaking up with Acronix in a nutshell but you guys are texting.

You: We are breaking up.

Acronix: ts pmo sm n sb rn ngl, r u srsly srs n fr rn vro? lol atp js go 💔... b fr vro, idek nm, brb gng gtg atm lmao, bt ts pyo 2 js lmk lol onb fr. N ts pmo sm n sb rn ngl, r u srsly srs n fr rn vro?

You:....Nevermind, I'll stay.

Acronix: YIPPEE!!