Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
you know what’s painful? before the final match against the ravens when neil says that he can see how much matt loves his mom and that “sometimes he was still surprised at how blatantly that love was returned”
like??
mary did her best to keep neil alive and they had a complicated relationship but, ultimately, neil loved her
this quote hurts though, because neil obviously didn’t really get that love reciprocated - yes, in her own way, mary loved him and tried to keep him safe and as happy as possible given the circumstances, but overall his life on the run was full of pain and fear and his mom added to that
so of course it’s weird for him to see randy love matt so fiercely and so openly, but my heart still aches for him
“are we? friends?” crushes my heart EVERY TIME, like - neil had never had a friend in his life. there’s no way he got close to anyone in little leagues or on the run. the person he was closest to regularly beat him - and he saw no problem w that.
neil had no idea what constituted a friend, but then there was nicky, with his smiles and friendliness and exuberance, there were people that he actually cared about and that cared about him, and he didn’t know what to call it, didn’t know how to deal with it, didn’t know it was even possible for him to have friends, like normal people do, like people without butchers for fathers do.
the little stray finally found a home, and he would tear the world apart for his makeshift family of friends.
okay hear me out:
mary and neil always had tea on hand
yes, i know they only packed the essentials
tea is essential
they would cram it into their duffle bags wherever it fit, and made sure to never run out
the only mugs they used were travel mugs, because regular ones would break too easily
tea became neil’s comfort drink over the years
it was something constant in his life, something that was always there for him after a long day or sleepless night
he guzzled tea after he’d been shot
his mom made it better than he did
their travel mugs were warm and full in the cup holders when mary was bleeding out
neil had to reach over them to shake her shoulders, trying to keep her awake when her eyes so desperately wanted to flutter closed
he tried to pass mary her mug to keep her conscious, tried to get her to drink just a sip mom, please, you can do it
the mug slipped out of her hands, covered in blood
neil let it burn in the flames of the car
he doesn’t drink tea anymore
but it doesn’t matter. he has a new comfort drink. andrew makes the coffee every morning
andrew makes it better than he does