Malaysia - Blog Posts

15.05.24

Yesterday was less than the best day of my life. I'm struggling with imposter syndrome- the truth is that I have and am doing my best, I am studying all day everyday and it just doesn't seem to be enough. I just can't get the content.

I have my last seminar of first year today, and a networking event for students planning to study abroad (like me). So far I've met two others (both psychology students) they are bith nice, one is making more of an effort to connect than the other. I plan on going on a night out with her after exams- something to look forward to. I always struggle with exam season, but I also always get the gardes I need. I need to trust that what I've done and what I'm doing will be enough. That's easier said than done.

I've been neglecting other responsibilites, so I'm going to make a mission to do one non-academic thing everyday (other than on the days I have actual exams). Today I did my laundry. It doesn't sound like alot but letting these things build up definitely contibutes to my stress levels- coming back to a well-kept dorm should help.

I was the only one to show up to my seminar- me and the semiar leas just had a chat about life and university. We talked about the evils of TikTok and ghosting people- we talked about what we wanted out of life. It was strange to connect with someone who was doing much better than me academically (phd student) but had all the same issues and fears; he got stressed, he procrastinates, he had imposter syndrome, but he did it. Maybe I can too. It was the best seminar I've been to and we didn't even go over the content.

When I left it was raining

The meeting for study abroad students was fun, we went over some of the cultural differences. I found out that the Malaysian legal drinking age is 21, meaning I'll have to stay sober- that's less than ideal. I made a groupchat with alot of them and we stood outside the room afterwards talking, that has to be a good sign. Hopefully they like me because I'm going abroad with them so if they don't it'll be a lonely year. I'm conforted by my general lack of friends now in that reguard. If I can be alone and not lonely in England, I can do it in Malaysia.

I called my family and talked to them for awhile- I half miss them and I'm half glad to be away from the chaos. It's difficult, but I plan on seeing them soon :) I ate loaded potato tots with chicken, chesse, gray, and sauce; it's my new obsession!

I spent the rest of the day studying Social Psychology because that's my first exam :)

Hi! I’m Soumya. I like art and bugs.

Have a nice day! :D

Every time I post this for queer Malaysians queerphobes get mad. It's so tiring being queer + Malaysian. This pride month I hope more folks acknowledge the oppression queer folks face in the global south.

Mainly writing this because I'm so tired of the Anglocentric, very western discussions abt pride month (eg. Kink at pride, the validity of labels etc) Most queer Malaysians don't have that same access to these resources, I'm not going to police what a queer msian should be like. We're stronger together, the authorities don't give a shit abt how valid I am or correct my labels are.

I think it's important to highlight the difference in queer issues of identity and liberation. In Malaysia at least, we're still far from getting liberation, much less debating amongst our circles abt valid/invalid labels. We don't have a Pride march, and it's likely our liberation will look very different to the west.

HaNat

Yang PN sokong Islam adakah menggunakan Islam dengan benar