Life Goals - Blog Posts

Personality Quirks/Quirks in General I Have:

-Flinch at physical contact

-Can't navigate for the life of me, but once I have a path down, I will never not go that path

-Can't solve most school locks

-Always paranoid that someone is going to hurt me. Mostly stab or shoot me.

-Paranoid of people behind me, that's why I never turn my back on people. Literally.

-Can't eat in front of people because I'm messy, and another reason.

-Literally the most mess of a person you will ever meet.

-I use literally too much.

-I cry over everything. I know I'm over emotional.

-But some reason, can't show weakness in front of strangers/my parents.

-I have a very, very good long term and short term memory.

-I always have a weird way of thinking and cannot follow the way teachers teach me.

-Due to my number phobia, both clocks and math are hard for me to deal with.

-Seriously. I have no idea what goes on during math. I just pretend to know what I'm doing.

-And also, I have a schedule for sleeping due to the phobia of numbers.

-I need every friend of mine to give me a gift, preferably a plushie, once we get close because I need something that reminds me of them + bares their smell in case I lose that person.

-I am too much of a perfectionist and can't stand when things are out of order.

-If the house is messy/my room, I can't work, sleep, and I become restless.

-I have a MASSIVE fear of losing my friends/my friends being killed my enemies.

-That's why I'm overprotective of them.

-I wear my heart on my sleeve too much, and always get broken in the end.

-I either trust completely or not at all, there's no in between.

-I have two personalities, the way I see me, and the way my friends see me. Both are very accurate to who I am.

-I constantly struggle with balance in my life.

-If you are my enemy, yoU'RE GOING DOWN. I will not let you hurt my friends. Ever. Fight me.

-I have an overwhelming fear of school shootings/mass shootings and always prepare myself for one.

-I watch scary documentaries and then go to sleep and have nightmares.

-I count nightmares as just dreams.

-I remember all of my dreams. I frequently lucid dream, but just see what happens instead of controlling myself.

-I seem chill, but I'm super uptight.

-I am drawn to people that have the "bad boy" look.

-I read too many X Readers because I need to feel loved.

-I love people watching.

-When I have a crush, I'll stalk them online.

-Animals always consider me their mate for some reason??

Someday I'm gonna fake my death and get away from all my problems to live in Canada find a wife or two(open to poly relationship), then actually die happily here.🙂

If I could curl up in a ball and turn to stone as soon as possible that would be ideal thank you

dedicating my life to perfectly imitating that voice at the end of mr blue sky that says "please turn me over"

୨୧ dear diary #1: glow up introduction ୨୧

I haven’t posted on this blog for too long, and it’s time that I pick this hobby back up. I want to start making this more personal and share my journey to becoming the best version of myself with you. So with that, this post is an introduction to my glow up journey as a Muslimah. Let me start off with introducing myself properly. So, I am Farah, I was born and raised in Belgium, but I have…

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I don't want a fancy grave, but if I got one, I'd want my tombstone to be a realistic, life-sized statue of me. Not in any particular position, but the key feature of it is that it doesn't have a head. My comical goose neck just ends in a perfectly even, stable platter, whereupon anyone who visits the grave can place whatever object they think would be funny to put there to be my head.

Make it the city's longest ongoing joke, people visiting the grave and sharing on social media whatever my head currently is. Usually it's a seasonal fruit, or something goofy. Sometimes in the winter it's just a snowball, made into a snowman's head. One year a particularly brave or stupid bird couple makes a nest there. Nobody dares to disturb that one for a long while, but once it's clear the birds are gone, the empty nest is gone one day, replaced with the kettle part of a broken electric kettle.

Most people don't know, remember or care whose grave this originally even was. It's just the Headless Man of the Cemetery, whose head is frequently replaced with a completely new and random piece of nonsense, in death just like it was in life.

There’s nothing to be pressured about.

The chance of dying without ever tasting what you crave is real, and alive, breathing down your neck.

And no amount of pressure will ever change that.

The kids want to be writers and painters, but by 22, as they pass car dealerships, watch movies with perfect, slim women, and step over men picking up scrap metal just to buy a cup of coffee, things change.

All they want now is to survive, to sit in cars with models from the movies they watched last night .

They choose that kind of win and it's understandable.

Be sincere, man. Where is it unreachable? Where?

If you love that destination, no place is unreachable. Because love— love is the fuel that takes us to distant lands we dream of, but have no map for.

Love, only love, man. Nothing else. Nothing much.

This is the 11th day of 

waiting. 

seated in the same spot 

grindling my hands 

to type

and 

what gets out is 

ddddhhhhdhdjdhdhddhkjsdhjdsh. 

Whatever part of the 

brain that platitudinized me to write 

is dead now. 

It made me fall in love, 

and now—kaput—it's gone.

Uuuuh what a devoid day ! 

I am dissolving 

into a desolate form.

Peonies on caskets. It's all yours. your wait your study. Engulf in your time and if it kills them you can as  well send them condolence messages and lovely peonies to be put on there caskets.

there is beauty in building up something, love in watching it grow, Satisfaction when it stands and experience when by fate it fails.

Gratification.

And even if you can’t win, do the thing. Only in performing can you understand that you failed and to try is far better than to admire.

Do the thing, and when you fail then you can decide whether to learn or to run.

I have a new life goal, and it is to be turned into a gecko by David Tennant. Which, I know, is unrealistic, since I'll probably never meet David Tennant.

sounds I wanna make

- snare

-clap

- growl

- more melodies (a b c d# loop)