Kaiman Dorohedoro - Blog Posts

Los quiero mucho, Nikaido y Kaiman

obviously this is a joke bc canon is a sandbox and everyone is free to interpret it as they will

HOWEVER

i refuse to believe that these scenes are unrelated

~Spoilers ahead~

It could possibly be that he doesn't care about his face anymore because he knows about his past now, except...

This is after all the stuff about Ai and Aikawa is revealed. he knows who he was in the past, he just doesn't remember yet.

it's only after he gets Ai, Aikawa, and Kai's memories that he's like, yeah, I don't need my face fixed. up until then he's still pretty adamant about getting his face back, even though he knows who he used to be

if it was just about knowing who he was in the past and accepting who he is in the present, i think there would more of an indication that he's okay with keeping the lizard face even before he gets the others' memories

Kaiman suddenly being okay with keeping his face doesn't feel like acceptance to me, but avoidance. It seems to me more like he's trying to keep some degree of separation between himself and Kai, or even between himself and Hole, since Kaiman was the one that was influenced the least by Hole. Keeping his face is a measure of control and distance between him and the stuff he does n o t want to deal with. bc lets be honest, there's no way Kai's memories aren't traumatizing as hell. we saw how Aikawa reacted (straight up just avoided dealing with it for as long as possible) there's no reason to think Kaiman wouldn't react in a similar way. keeping his face is a great way to maintain that separation and avoid dealing with the fallout of Kai's actions

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk

You all, fools: Kaiman keeping his face at the end of Dorohedoro is him accepting who he is!

Me, an intellectual: This is avoidance coping. This man has accepted nothing about himself, ever.

figured I might as well post it since I have no idea if I’ll actually finish this real sketchy comic

a possible way Kaiman might get his face back

aka an alternative to my fic Face the World

(yes there’s a reason Haru calls him Ai, I have t h e o r i e s)

I had a dream where it was announced that Dorohedoro season two was coming out on June 30, and i got super excited because A) that's much sooner that I expected, and B) thats Kaiman's birthday. and then I thought, is it weird that i have his birthday memorized enough to recall it in a dream, but i couldn't tell you the exact date of most of my friend's birthdays? I might have a problem...

anyway i was super disappointed when i checked the announcements this morning. no drhdr season two on Kaiman's birthday :(

you know theres something about being a kid and not having many friends and constantly feeling stuck. like you know you’re meant for so much more but you just can’t reach it. you don’t want to die but theres nothing to live for and your life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and you just want something to change. 

and theres something about having a face and a name that belongs to you but isn’t yours. and you dont feel real most days even though you’re living the life you wanted. there’s violence in your veins that scares you and a hunger for something that you can taste but never quite see. and every day you’re drowning, drowning and praying for someone to throw you a rope you’re not even sure you’d take.

And then all of a sudden you’re surrounded by people who love you and know you and you can finally breathe. and on the bad days they bring you food and sing silly songs and remind you that you’re real and you matter. you get obsessed over stupid shit and you live day by day because you can’t survive any other way, but your friends listen to you ramble and support you. you’re everything you thought you could be and nothing like you imagined and you’re sense of self is still so fragile but thats okay. you have good food and good friends and  that’s enough to live for.

anyway, Dorohedoro is my favorite manga, can you tell?

also the fact that she wears said hoodie on and off for another 50 chapters after he gives it to her and only stops wearing it because it literally gets ripped off of her <3

nikaido on her oversized hoodie from kaiman