Justice League - Blog Posts

I want everyone to know that I predicted this back in 2023.

I made new lock screens and I wish to share them with all the lovely internet people.

Big bad guy : how did none of you hear my evil speech?!

Barry : I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half days-

Kara : I got distracted halfway through!

Oliver : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Big 3 fighting big bad guys

Oliver : Mama didn't raise a fucking bitch we keep going.

Kara : Na na na, mama did raise a bitch let's go!

Barry : Mama did not raise nobody actually, my mom was dead.

Kara and Oliver : Omg-

Bart: Collecting charity money for the Justice League Ball?

Wally: We don't have Balls.

Bart: I honestly have no response to that.

Crossover? Flashfam and Batfam

#Bruce meets his match

Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*

Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*

Bruce: So, Impulse-

Bart: No.

Bruce: No?

Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.

Bruce: You didn't hear the question.

Bart: Okay, go ahead.

Bruce: So-

Bart: No.

Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*

Bart: *staring with a blank expression*

~ two hours later ~

Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*

Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"

Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.

Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*

Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.

Hal: Kids' got spunk.

Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #7

Batman: phone rings "Hello?"

Tim: "DadJasonjustshottheguninthehouseandnoweverythingisinabsoluteanarchypleasecomesaveme" dodges vase "oh my god, DAMIAN! GO PUT THE TIGER BACK!"

Justice Legue: ...

Batman: "Wait, slow down. Jason did what? Damian has a Tiger?"

Tim: "Do you really need to ASK? THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HOUSE, BRUCE!"

Batman: "I'll be home soon. Is everyone okay?"

Tim: "My mental stability isn't but I think their fine-" BANG "Nevermind, Damian's been shot."

Batman: "Where is Alfred?"

Tim: "Silently watching us in the corner of the room." pause of silence "OH GOD, THERE'S A FIRE! I gotta go."

click

Batman: Emergency. I have to leave.

Superman, that heard everything with Super-hearing: ... Right. So-

inaccuate Bamfam quotes

Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?

batchildren™: crickets

Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!

Jason, from the back: We're adopted!

Bruce: Damian isn't.

Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.

Everyone else: ...

Bruce: Tim?

Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...

Bruce:... Jason?

Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.

Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.

Dick: Nope.

Bruce: sigh of relief

Dick: Only Wally!

Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

The big three (Can y’all tell I couldn’t come up with any cool ideas for Superman’s suit?)

RHFIKFG "this one lies"

Batman: I have decided I will reveal my identity to one person

Justice League: !!!!

Batman: *walks over to Green Arrow*

Green Arrow: Wait wha-

*Hot steamy make-out session right in front of the League. Jaws are dropped, Superman’s eyes are red, there’s tongue*

Green Arrow: … huh

Batman: *raises an eyebrow* Do you understand?

Green Arrow: *now completely aware that Batman is Bruce Wayne due to how many make-outs the two of them have had over the years* Surprisingly yes

Justice League: ?!?!?!

Batman: That’s all *sweeps out of the room with a dramatic flare of his cape*

This is the funniest batfam meets JL crack fic I've read. Nightwing joins JL, they suspect him because he's close to B and it turns into the batfam doing a home alone on the JL. It's unserious and hilarious I was crying laughing and I really needed that after all the angst I've been consuming recently

Maybe the real reason Batman is known in the JL for giving single syllable replies or even just grunts is that he trained all his small talk skills for his Brucie persona and now he doesn’t know how to small talk without flirting and he will absolutely not be doing that in front of Diana, Hal, Oliver, Dinah, J’onn, Billy, or Clark, all for very different reasons.

I was rewatching Young Justice and the fact that all versions of Robin are the only one forced to keep their secret identity even with their teammates and friends is usually written off as Batman being paranoid. I think it's more than that, that it's his way of giving the kids an 'out'. If they ever decide they don't want to fight crime anyone they have a safe identity to return to, no obligations.

They are children first, soldiers second. Bruce knows better than anyone the loneliness his job brings and of course he would want better for anyone, especially his kids.

Reasons to watch Justice League Action

Joker, voiced by Mark Hamill, and Trickster, also voiced by Mark Hamill, kidnap Mark Hamill (also voiced by Mark Hamill).

A giant cat attacks (long story). Everyone is struggling with it, and Batman just casually uses a laser pointer to distract it. Did I mention the laser pointer beam was bat-shaped?

Batman attempts to be the “good cop” and Superman attempts to be the “bad cop” when they interrogate Deadshot. As you can imagine, Batman offering coffee and a chocolate doughnut is absolutely terrifying.

Villains fear Batman and heroes are afraid to mess up in front of him, but he still has some really sweet moments.

Batman knows what a videogame called “Boulevard Brawler 2” is because “Robin plays it all the time on the batcomputer.”

Same episode, Batman’s trapped in the game and Toyman uses Wonder Woman to beat the hell out of him. Batman is lying on the ground, likely in pain, and he just glares at Toyman and says “Robin’s better [at playing the game].” This man is so proud of everything his children do.

Same episode, we get a peek into the Batcave. Along with some other costumes there is a Robin one, likely Jason’s (*cri*), which means the aforementioned Robin is Tim.

We get to see Batman on his first case (wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey), in which he watches his past self try and fail to use a grappling hook.

The Joker is such an icon in this. In most media I despise him (mostly the character, not the characterization) (except for in Suicide Squad, no more of that characterization please), but in JLA he’s hysterical. Goes to the watchtower to genuinely appreciate a tour.

Martian Man Hunter, turning to Batman after making a pun: [It was] my attempt at humor. How did I do?

Batman, deadpan: I’m the wrong one to ask.

Djinn, with a creepy and triumphant grin: I am Uthool!

Batman, ready to fight: I don’t care.

Zatanna, to Batman: Don’t underestimate yourself. Little secret: when goblins want to scare themselves, they tell Batman stories.

Green Arrow, to Batman: *sigh* I know it’s generous, but we’re both in the billionaire masked vigilante “making the world a better place game,” so I figure—

Batman: *ejects him from the batmobile*

Solomon Grundy: That’s how servants treat their king!

Batman, with narrowed eyes: You’ll forgive me if I don’t curtsy.

Superman: *briefly loses his powers, breaks his leg*

Batman, with absolutely no sympathy: Hurts, doesn’t it?

“I…. AM…. BATMAN!”

Wonder Woman. Just Wonder Woman being an absolute icon.

Booster gold wearing this:

And there are so many more hilarious interactions like this. If I had a week this post would be longer than the “color of the sky” post.

Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.

And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.

DCxDP Prompt

They had crossed a line, THEY CRACKED BOXY'S CORE, Danny was done holding back. He had never at any point struck out at the GIW directly or with any actual intent to harm, but that has changed. They had crossed a line you just don't cross, the entirety of the realms was waiting for their turn but Danny demanded to be the first.

He struck their base down, wailed until it was nothing but rubble, he now stands before the agents who escaped mostly unscathed ready to strike them down as well.

Only to be taken by surprised when he is shot down from behind where no agents stand. Dodging the shots from the agents and turning to face the new threat, Superman???

The Justice League is informed of a new threat which was currently attacking a government facility and the staff within. They get there before there are any casualties, Superman even shots the rogue unknown before they can attack the people gathered outside the once standing building.

Unknowingly inciting an interdimensional war as the armies that were on standby witness their Crown Prince stuck down.

One of my favorite posts.

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

What if Shadow has a twin brother?

Round 2 votes are done 👈🏼

Round 1 votes are done 👈🏼

What if Shadow have a twin brother?

Round 1 votes’s here 👈🏼