Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
—In which your friendship with Gojo has been going pretty damn well. However, how long until underlying feelings resurface and mistakes are made?
<<part one, part two, part four>>
Laughing, you threw another piece of cake at him, snorting as the icing comically slow, dragged down his face as he gave you an unimpressed eye roll.
“Is it funny?”
“Yes.” You grinned, leaning back in your seat as you licked a piece of cake off your finger. “Damn, I make a damn good cake.”
Wiping the cake from his face and licked it off his hand, he couldn’t help but nod, “I agree.”
“Of course you do, it’s a wonder how your teeth haven’t rotted out.” You quirked a brow, before grabbing your empty plate and his— moving to the sink.
“It’s because I wash them— I’m also *cough* the world’s strongest.” He sat smugly back, watching as you washed the dishes.
It had been a month or so since he’d caught you in that grocery store. A month since you’d become friends again. A month since he’d texted you.
And it’d be 6 months since you broke up with him— broke up with him for him hurting you, calling you clingy and being rude, for neglecting you and leaving you alone.
And he’d been wishing he could turn back time and fix his mistake ever since.
Gojo regretted asking to be your friend, because now, he had to keep his longing a secret. He had to keep his love for you an absolute secret. Else you’ll disappear forever this time.
It’s like a punishment. One he deserves no doubt— but one he wish he didn’t have to burden.
He’d have to keep the way his eyes soften every time you did something cute, or familiar to secret.
Or how he wants and misses your kisses- the way you’d used to wrap your arms around his neck. How you’d pull him in with a smile and some corny joke.
Or how you’d get all dolled up for him whenever he’d take you out— hell he missed how you’d wear his hoodies and a pair of panties around the house.
He missed living with you. Being near you, holding you, everything. He missed you.
And while he got to be near you again and talk to you, it was never the same. In fact, it was almost worse. Having to hide his love— yes, it was his own personal as torture. And yet somehow, he could never pull away from you.
Time passed, and it was like everything was before you two had dated. Before you’d broken up with him.
However, it was getting bad. Bad for you, at least. It’d been bad for him.
Those stupid fucking feelings were boiling over again. Boiling over and infecting your heart.
You wanted to rip your eyes out every time you found them glued to him, or how you found yourself just admiring and adoring him like you used to.
You wish you’d never met him again. But even with that said, your heart longed for him. You longed to have his arms wrapped around you, to hear him whisper sweet nothings against your temple during the late nights again.
You miss him.
And you hated it. Because he hurt you- lord knows he did.
But part of you, a big part, wanted to believe he learned his lesson. That he’d changed.
“Hey, you listening?” Gojo’s brows furrowed and he flicked your forehead gently.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” You blinked, eyes dry from how hard you’d been staring at his hands. Oh those hands. His hands. The same hands that would wrap around your throat as he fucked you from behind—
“What did I say?” Gojo was no fool yes he was— he could read you like a book. The way you watched him, how you watched his every move and how you held the same longing in your eyes as he did in his.
And that had his heart racing against his chest like he was some prepubescent teen from high school all over again getting his first hug.
“Uhhh…” You found yourself staring at the way his throat would bob every time he’d swallow, or how his biceps would flex slightly with every little movement- and oh fuck.
“Exactly. What’re you thinking about, hm?” Tilting his head, that stupid shit eating grin stretched across those sexy fucking lips. “I think I have an idea.”
Now that— that had you snapping your eyes up to meet his again. “Huh?” You answered dumbly.
“Look,” Gojo reached across the table, and grabbed your hands in his, “I messed up. Bad. So bad. And I have been trying to make up for that everyday since. Hurting you will forever be my biggest regret—“
“Oh hell no.” Your lip curled in disgust and you tried to yank your hand away, but Gojo’s grip was too tight.
“Listen, please.” Gojo was basically begging. His voice all sweet and desperate, eyes almost puppy like.
Your breath caught in your throat, eyes stuck to his like a rat in a sticky trap. Sighing, you settled back into the seat, “Fuck. Fine. Speak.”
“I miss you, so fucking much. I miss being able to kiss you— hold you, love you, cuddle you. I miss it all. I miss you.” His thumb gently swiped over your hand, his words so sweet you wanted to melt, “and I know you miss me too.”
“You don’t know that.” You were quick to speak up. You didn’t like feeling so read— as if you were just a book left wide open for him to read whenever he pleased. That pissed you off just as much as it made you swoon.
“But I do. I see the way you look at me, the way you watch me. Pretty, I know you want me just as much as I want you,” slowly, his begging turned to a little more confident, “I will be so much better to you. I will be the best boyfriend you’ve ever fucking had.”
You just eyed him. Looking over every single little thing about him. The way his facial expressions would change in just the tiniest little ways. You were analyzing him.
And it made him nervous.
“Please take me back, please. Fuck I’ll do anything, I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have t-“
Gojo was cut off by the feeling of your lips pressing against his in a deep, unforgiving kiss. And fuck, if he wasn’t just as desperate to feel you.
He stood up so fast the chair shot out from under him, and a strong arm sent the table between you flying as he pulled you closer.
It was messy— all teeth, spit and moans. Your hands were all in his hair and on his neck, and he was no better. He couldn’t decide where to leave them, your hips, waist or to just hoist you up so he could hold you.
“Missed you,” kiss “so” kiss “fucking” kiss “much.” He groaned against your lips.
You, however, were quickly yanking yourself away from him when you got your senses back to you. Staring at him wide eyed, you took a step back. “No, no— I can’t- we can’t- no.” Quickly, you grabbed your keys from the bowl and left his house he got a new house so you’d come over.
And Gojo was left standing there, watching as you pulled out of the driveway so fast you left tire marks on the driveway, again.
Sighing softly, he could feel his heart ache. Did he fuck this all up? Probably. Would he give up? Hell no.
Running a hand through his hair, he, in frustration, kicked the chair. Just before picking it back up and mumbling an apology to the inanimate object.
That was just the first time you let temptation take you. And it wouldn’t be the last time.
Because when it came to him, you found yourself growing weak. Even after the shit he’d put you through, you’d always ache for him.
The second time it happened, was actually at a little get together celebration with Gojo and his students, along with Nanami, his wife, and Shoko.
You’d spent the last hour teasing Yuji and Megumi, and had been avoiding Gojo like the plague. But eventually, the man had pulled you aside to finally talk to you.
Calling out your name, he finally got you to sit down with him, but instead of beating around the bush, he was blunt, “you’re avoiding me.”
“What? Psh. No.” Waving him off, you looked away and sipped on your glass of wine. You always had been a wine drinker. Regardless of the fuckass headache you always got after.
“You are. And it needs to stop, please. I can’t handle it.” Gojo looked at you dead in the eye, and that had you swallowing nervously.
“You—…” You cut yourself off and shut your mouth. Before just nodding, your cheeks a light pink as you stared down at your wine.
“Good, because I was about to like— die if I didn’t get to talk to you again.” Gojo sighed in relief, before shooting you a playful, charming grin. All he wanted to do was lock you in his arms and run off into the sunset so you’d be his again.
A playful, charming grin that hid the devastating adoration and love he held for you.
The night so far, had been a success. After your little awkward moment with Gojo, things were back to normal. Or as normal as they could be.
You’d even gotten Yuji to taste your wine— and bless his heart he was wiping his tongue with a napkin and whining.
“This is bad, so bad.” Poor boy had the most disgusted look on his face.
“Poor thing, you fell for her little ‘taste my wine’ trick didn’t you?” Gojo looked at him with fake pity before laughing, “well, at least we know you’ll never be a wine alcoholic.”
Rolling your eyes, you finished the rest of your wine, before placing down three one-hundred dollar bills. You made plenty to pay for the little party and drinks you’d and everyone else had had, including tip.
You missed how Gojo glared at the money you placed down, and when you turned your back, he snatched it up and replaced it his own 5 hundreds. You would not be paying on his watch.
“You sure your good to drive? You had a good few glasses of wine.” Gojo helped you when you stumbled a little. His hand rested on the small of your back as you leaned your head against his shoulder.
“You worried about me?” You shot him a cheeky grin, your cheeks flushed from the few too many glasses of wine you had.
“Always.” He smelled softly down at you, absolutely adoring the way you felt his arms.
“I need to um, get to my car.” You tried to push off of him but stumbled.
“Hell no, pretty you are not going to be driving.” Gojo was quick to pull you back into him, strong arms coming to wrap around your waist.
“Mmk.” You just hummed in response, giving him a dopey smile before getting up on your tip toes to press your lips against his jaw.
Gojo’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling and his hand tightened on your hips, “don’t do this to me, beautiful.”
“Do what?” You merely nipped at his jaw before nipping at his throat.
“You are such a tease, that much hasn’t changed.” He mumbled against your hair, pressing a sweet kiss before getting you to walk again.
This time, walking you to his own car. “What’s your address, beautiful?”
“Uhh…” you just stared at the ceiling of the car for a moment, completely stumped.
“Right. Uhuh.” Gojo stared at you before snorting, a content grin stretching on his pretty lips as he puts the car in drive. “I’ll just take you to mine.”
“Ok…” you sighed in response, leaning back in the seat, “love you, Toru.”
And that had him near about slamming on the breaks. His hands were so tight around the steering wheel that his knuckles were turning white. His jaw was clenched hard, and his brows furrowed. “You are so, so cruel.”
The ride back to his place was silent. Silent except for the sound of his heart racing and his blood rushing in his ears. Of course you’d say some shit like this when you got drunk. Of course.
“Up you go,” Gojo easily lifted you onto the bed. Sitting you down, he stood between your knees as he straightened you up. “You feeling okay?”
“Mm.” You merely hummed in response, leaning your head against his shoulder, going all slack in his arms.
Gojo sighed softly through his nose, before gently lifting your blouse over your head and replacing it with his own shirt. And soon your pants were yanked off promptly after. “Comfortable?”
“Mhmm…” nodding, you let your body fall back against his bed. Sighing in relief at the feeling of the cold comforter against your back.
Gojo nodded, and sat down the money you’d tried to use to pay for the party on the dresser, you could grab it in the morning.
“Right. Well, guess I’ll just uh… go sleep on the couch.” Gojo mumbled, mainly to himself. However, you quickly stopped him with your foot.
“Wait…come back,” you grumbled, your foot pressed flat against his back.
Gojo looked at you unimpressed, “really? This is a new shirt y’know.” He bitched and grumbled knowing damn well he’d burn his entire closet just to lay down with you again.
So, he easily slid off his shoes, socks, shirt and pants before slipping on a pair of baggy old basketball shorts and crawling into bed with you. He didn’t touch you until you curled up against his chest.
Smiling to himself, he wrapped his arms around you in a protective embrace.
He knew you’d be pissed in the morning…but for now, he’d just bury his face in your hair and enjoy your scent like he used to.
“You really hurt me, y’know?” You murmured against his chest, eyes clothes.
“…I know.” Gojo could feel his heart restricting and his throat burning. That guilt coming back to eat him up, just like it always did.
“I missed you so much… still do. I wish you’d never ruined what we’d had,” Your eyes opened, but only halfway as you let your drunken thoughts spill as they pleased. “I still love you though, think I always will.”
Gojo let out a shaky breath, “I love you too, pretty. I’ll make it up to you, even if takes the next hundred years. I won’t let you go.”
He could feel your smile against his chest and the way you just melted against him. His own eyes threatened to tear up, but he only held you tighter and closer.
Tagged
@peightonnnnn-blog @nonamebbsblog @jup1tersuccubus @emochosoluvr
In which you have some bad past trauma and it's holding back your relationship with Gojo.
A/n: This is honestly just for me. These Sandra Bullock movies have me sobbing my fucking eyes out and writing shitty ass stories. Anyways. This is hurt/comfort. It also hasn't been spell-checked or anything so don't shit on it pls.
“Baby, why haven’t I met your parents?” Gojo gave you a quirky little grin, kissing your cheek sweetly.
You stared at him, your happy mood immediately faltered. “Well, I- I— it’s just not really important.” You gave him a little smile and kissed his forehead, before going into your bedroom.
Gojo sighed, growing frustrated. You always did this. Anytime he asked about your parents, about marriage, about children, you completely shut down.
And he was getting so tired of it. He just wanted to take the step of your relationship, he wanted to be with you. You’d been together for 4 years for fucks sake.
Getting up, he tried to keep his frustrations in, walking inside your shared bedroom, “baby please, I’m ready to take this to the next step—“
“No goddamn it no!” You snapped at him, eyes glossy and a mean look on your face. But all the anger just covered up so much trauma.
“Why the hell not?! You have met everybody in my life! I have given you everything!” Now he was yelling back, the vein his forehead straining.
“Stop fucking asking me all the fucking questions!” You stood up from the bed.
One thing led to another and you were having a screaming match.
However, when Gojo raised his hand a little too quickly, you flinched. Your body tensed so hard and your head shrunk back.
Gojo stared at you, mouth agape at your reaction. He watched as you looked back up at him, as if you were waiting for a hit or anything.
When you saw his staring at you, you grew so fucking embarrassed. Your face was red and your eyes were teared up, tear streaks running down your face and oh— you were a fucking mess.
You immediately grabbed your keys and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind you. In nothing but an oversized shirt and panties, no shoes or socks.
“Wait! Sweets you can’t go out like that please—“ he tried to follow after you, but you were pulling out of the driveway so fast there were streaks on the road. “Fuck fuck fuck!” He yelled, slamming the door shut so hard it knocked photos off the wall.
A picture of you and him lay on the ground, shattered to bits and torn.
“Shit…” he sighed, his own tears beginning to fall as he leaned down to pick up the picture. Flipping over the picture, he noticed a phone number. Curiosity mixed with the absolute feeling of his heart cracking in fucking half. So he called it.
“Hello?” And old woman’s voice answered.
Gojo’s brows furrowed, “who is this? This is Gojo Satoru.”
“This is **** (your mom’s name)”, the older woman answered.
“Are you y/n’s mother?” Gojo’s voice got a little lighter, would he finally get to meet you?
“Yes… is this her boyfriend?” The woman got a little sassier.
“Yes… well, I am trying to marry your daughter but she is proving to be… very stubborn…” Gojo sighed, before plopping down on the couch, deciding to give you space, he felt so fucking bad.
“What happened?” Your mother spoke up after a hefty moment of silence.
“I asked her about when I could meet her family… and she freaked out.” Gojo sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
“Oh… well that’ll do it I suppose.” She sighed, sipping on the Bloody Mary she’d made moments prior.
“What do you mean? Seriously all I want to do is marry the woman, why is it so hard?” Gojo glared at the picture for a second before the anger immediately dissipated into sadness. “She acts like the floor will fall out from under her any second.”
“It’s because it has, it always has. Poor thing, I s’pose this is my fault.” The old woman sighed, glancing out of the window and at the little pond a few yards out.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ll admit I wasn’t the best mother. She was the oldest out of three and I had a rocky relationship with my husband. I guess I’d taken it out on her… left her alone to take care of her siblings and her father. That drunk old bastard,” she huffed, “she hates me now. I understand why. Every time things would get good, something would always, always go wrong.”
“…” Gojo stayed quiet for a long time. Just taking in this information. He had no idea, he had no idea about anything. Anything about your life before you’d turned 23.
“She’s afraid she’ll end up like me, afraid her marriage will turn out like mine, that she’ll treat her kids like I did mine. I’ll forever regret what I did to my poor sweet girl.” Your mother sighed softly, heart aching with regret and agony that she’ll never get her daughter back.
“…I have to go.” Gojo immediately hung up the phone and stood up. Dialing your number over and over and over and over and over again, he called you 106 times.
Every time, he got no answer. So, he just decided to wait. He cleaned up the glass, tried to watch a show, and eventually tried to cook dinner. But he was terrible at it. You were much better. And that thought had his shoulders slumping.
It wasn’t until dark that you finally showed up again. Eyes all red and swollen, bare feet roughed up and you had fresh little cuts and bruises that littered your body.
You’d gone and ran through the woods to get to the old creek you used to play in as a kid.
It was 100% not safe, 100% stupid, and it 100% had Gojo’s heart shattering a little more.
You didn’t say anything to him, just walked past him and slipped into the guest bedroom, before collapsing on the bed.
You’d exhausted yourself with all the crying and walking you’d done. But you still didn’t want to speak to Gojo. You weren’t mad at him, not really. Just scared.
Things had been going so good. What happens if you marry him and end up a drunkard witch like your mother? What if you turn cruel and horrible to your children?
Fears ran deep and trauma was still solidified in your mind from your adolescence.
“Baby?” Gojo’s voice cut you away from your mental thoughts. From the spiral you were threatening to go on again.
Glancing up, you noticed him staring at you with sad eyes, “please talk to me.” He whispered so softly. And when you didn’t say anything, he took that as a good sign and walked further into the room before sitting down on the bed.
“…”
“I spoke to your mother.”
You immediately looked up at him, shocked and horrified all at the same time. “You did what?!”
“I’d accidentally broken the frame and saw the number…” he handed you the picture of the two of you, your mother’s number scribbled on the back.
You’d written that a while ago. When you had debated on calling her or not. You’d written down to have her number somewhere, just didn’t want it in your phone.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“I understand now why you don’t want to take any steps further…” Gojo spoke so softly, his touch so gentle on your chin as he had you looking up at him. “Baby, I am so sorry. I had no idea what’d happened or what you’d gone through… I should have never pressured you like that.”
You just stared at him, your bottom quivering and your eyes growing glassy again.
“I love you. With all my heart. You never, and will never ever have to worry about the carpet getting yanked out from under your again.” He kissed your forehead softly. “I want to be there for you, in sickness and in health, I want to be there for you in the good and the bad. I want you, all of you.”
“You don’t mean that.. I-I— what if down the road you start to resent me- or- or what if-“
“No, baby that won’t happen.” Gojo gave you the most adoring expression, he was looking at you like you truly were the only thing in his life— in his world even. “It won’t happen because I love you with my everything, and nothing will ever change that. And if I need to remind you every morning and every night I will.”
You swallowed thickly, sighing shakily before burying your face in his neck as you crawled up to him. “I’m so sorry baby.” You murmured, the tears already flowing.
“It’s okay. You’ve done nothing wrong, pretty.” He whispered against your hair, kissing your forehead before wrapping his arms around you completely. “But please, next time we argue or anything like that, put some pants and shoes on before going running through the woods.”
You couldn’t help but smile at that, a little giggle leaving you. And that had a smile on his face almost immediately. “I love you Toru.”
“I love you, sweets.”