Idk Mansmoker - Blog Posts

Captain for a Day

When Smoker lends you his giant Marine coat to keep warm, you accidentally become G-5's newest "Vice Admiral" for the day — much to his horror (and secret amusement).

smoker x gn! reader | ONE SHOT Tags: fluff, sfw, G-5 chaos a/n: this js me trying to write ffs, this is experimental and for fun only so expect this ff cringe and oc word count: 938

masterlist | ko-fi

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊

You should have known better than to complain about being cold on a Marine base, of all places.

Especially near a certain grumpy, cigar-smoking, Vice Admiral.

It was a chilly morning on G-5 base, and you were standing awkwardly near the training yard, your arms wrapped around yourself. You hadn’t realized just how thin your jacket was until the cold ocean wind decided to slap you right in the soul.

"Cold?" Smoker's gruff voice rumbled from behind you.

You turned to find him standing there, arms crossed, two cigars burning away like little smoke chimneys.

"I'm fine," you said, teeth chattering audibly.

Smoker narrowed his eyes at you for exactly 0.2 seconds before shrugging off the massive white Marine coat draped over his shoulders — you know, the one with the fuzzy collar, the gold epaulets, the one that absolutely screamed Important Marine Guy.

Before you could protest, he was tossing it over your head like a blanket.

"Don't argue," he muttered, already turning away like it was no big deal.

You froze under the weight of the coat. It was huge. It practically swallowed you alive. The hem almost touched the ground. You could barely peek out from under the fluffy collar.

You stared after Smoker’s retreating back, then tugged the coat tighter around yourself.

Warm. Very warm.

You weren’t going to complain.

The first salute happened thirty seconds later.

You were shuffling across the training yard, trying not to trip over the coat, when a young Marine spotted you.

"VICE ADMIRAL, SIR!" he barked, snapping to a crisp salute so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

You blinked at him. "Uh… what?"

The Marine’s face turned beet red when he got a closer look at your very not-Smoker face, but he'd already committed. He stayed frozen in salute until you awkwardly shuffled away, half-waving.

Maybe that was just one guy, you thought, chuckling to yourself. No big deal.

It was not one guy.

Within an hour, you had been saluted by no less than twenty Marines.

Two mistook you for some "new Vice Admiral from Headquarters" and started escorting you around the base like bodyguards.

One extremely nervous ensign offered you his lunch.

Another, somehow, asked if you needed a "cannon fired in your honor."

You tried to explain that you were just borrowing the coat.

You really tried.

But the moment you said "I'm just—", some recruit would shout "SIR, YES SIR!" and start sprinting laps around the yard to "impress" you.

At one point, you caught a glimpse of yourself reflected in a window.

The Marine coat — slightly too big, regal-looking, with the Justice kanji on the back — Your slightly confused but determined expression — The way you nodded politely whenever someone yelled "Vice Admiral!" —

You looked like a tiny, lost, but somehow commanding officer.

You laughed until you almost collapsed.

The situation escalated — fast.

At lunchtime, Marines cleared an entire table for you at the mess hall.

They nervously placed a "Reserved for Vice Admiral" sign (hastily made with a napkin and a fork) in front of you.

You tried to slip away quietly, but every step you took, another Marine would open a door, bow, or panic because "the Vice Admiral needs more soup!"

By the time you escaped to the courtyard, you were slightly dizzy from all the awkward attention.

This is getting ridiculous… you thought.

You needed to find Smoker and give his damn coat back before this turned into a full-blown military parade.

You found Smoker near the docks, yelling at Tashigi.

He noticed you instantly — hard not to, considering you were basically wearing his entire upper wardrobe — and his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"You," he growled, stalking over.

You gulped. "Smoker, I can explain—"

Before you could say more, two Marines sprinted past, saluting so hard their hats flew off.

"VICE ADMIRAL! BASE SECURITY IS DOUBLE-TIGHTENED AS REQUESTED, SIR!" one of them screamed.

"I… didn't request that?" you said weakly.

Smoker stared at the chaotic scene unfolding around you. Marines were tripping over themselves trying to impress you. Someone started unfurling a "WELCOME, HERO OF THE SEAS" banner.

Another Marine dropped a crate of cannonballs at your feet, panting, "For your personal arsenal, sir!"

"… What the hell," Smoker muttered under his breath, smoke billowing furiously.

You gave him a sheepish little smile from under the fluffy collar.

"Maybe your coat's a little…too recognizable," you offered.

Smoker dragged a hand down his face, groaning.

Tashigi tried very hard not to laugh — she failed.

"You’re returning the coat," Smoker grunted five minutes later, practically yanking it off you himself. (Gently though. Very gently.)

"Aw, but it’s so warm," you teased, shivering dramatically once it was gone.

He huffed and — to your complete surprise — slung an arm around your shoulders to pull you close to his side, sharing body heat like it was no big deal.

"If you keep causing scenes like that, I'll have to promote you," he muttered gruffly.

You choked on your own breath. "Promote?"

Smoker shrugged, totally deadpan. "Captain, minimum. Maybe Commodore. Depends how many idiots you can wrangle."

You grinned up at him. "Does being Vice Admiral's favorite qualify me?"

His lips twitched, just slightly.

"Maybe."

.

.

Rumor traveled so fast through G-5 that by sunset, the base was convinced that Smoker was secretly training you to be his "successor."

You and Smoker both refused to confirm or deny it.

(Privately, Smoker started carrying a second coat around. "In case you get cold again," he said. Totally deadpan. Totally not flustered.)

(You kept stealing it anyway.)