I Wanna Lose Weight - Blog Posts

il punto è che amo mangiare.

ma odio la sensazione di pienezza, di sazietà, la nausea.

odio il modo in cui trasforma il mio corpo, il suo continuo depositare grasso sulla pancia, sulle gambe, sulle braccia, sulla faccia.

odio il fatto che, per mangiare anche solo una mela, debba sbottonare i pantaloni, perché il mio addome si gonfia così tanto che non ce la faccio a sentire la pressione dei bottoni contro di esso.

odio il fatto che io non possa più vestirmi come una volta, perché non mi va più niente di ciò che mi piace, e perfino la gente attorno a me ha notato che vesto solo di tute e maglie larghe ormai.

odio i sensi di colpa dopo ogni pasto, odio il pentimento che deriva dall'aver mangiato l'ultimo boccone anche quando stavo già per sboccare, odio il fatto che io sia l'unica delle persone che conosco a non avere un bel fisico, soprattutto da nuda, e ciò mi fa vergognare terribilmente poiché sono fidanzata.

odio tutta questa rabbia repressa per me stessa, odio tutti questi dannati chili di troppo.

e un po', talvolta molto più di "un po'", odio me stessa per aver permesso che ciò accadesse, per aver permesso a questo corpo di diventare com'è ora.

13/10/22, ore 02:38.

weight loss

Hi! It's my first post ever.

I've been trying to lose 30 lbs for so long now, I've tried everything under the Sun but nothing. Can anyone give me advice on that?

I will start my official weight loss journey, wish me luck, I will update you every week.

I hope that I can lose at least 15lbs in one month because I have a very important event coming up next month.

And besides all of that, I wanna get an academic comeback.

My coworker said it looks like I'm loosing weight!! She said my tummy and back are looking a little smaller. I didn't know 7lbs was enough for people to start noticing. Then again me and them work like 10 and half hours with each other in a small room. But I'm proud never the less.

Things are gonna start getting tight around here. I'm gonna really restrict my food intake as I really want to keep losing weight. I donot care how I get there. All I know if I have to lose 40lbs as fast as possible.

When will I start to feel light and weightless? I'm desperate for that attention skinny brings and I will not stop till I get there. If I have to pay my mental health for it then that is the price I am willing to pay. I want boys to look at me, I want girls to envy me. And I want my family to take back every little negative thing they have ever said about me back. I will no longer be the fat freind, the fat sister or the fat coworker. Ha! They will all watch me get thin.

And I WILL get there. They will all see. Every guy that has ever ignored me will finally be forced to pay attention. That will make things right.

For now on- Listen up fattie

860 calories will be the MAX that I can have. ABSOLUTELY NO CHEAT DAYS. Fatties don't deserve cheat days.

I will have to drink 8 cups of water each day to prevent me from eating.

I WILL chew my food 25 times before swallowing.

I will take my protein powder and supplements daily

I WILL get plenty of sleep at least 8 to 10 hrs per day. Beauty queens need their rest.

☆ daily log 5/26 ☆

☆ food ☆

- breakfast: black coffee (1)

- lunch: second half of yesterday's chipotle bowl - brown rice, chicken, pico, corn, cheese, lettuce (410)

- snacks: protein rice crispy, protein shake (294)

- dinner: chicken w/ sugar-free bbq sauce, potatoes, asparagus (387)

- dessert: strawberry cheesecake Greek yogurt*** (258)

☆ total - 1,350 cal

☆ water - 138 oz

☆ exercise ☆

Legs & abs day

- 15 min elliptical warmup

- hamstring curl machine 12x4 @ 30 lb.

- quad extension machine 12x4 @ 35 lb.

- leg press machine 12x6 @ 80 lb. alternating regular, wide, narrow stance

- calf extension machine 15x3 @ 20 lb.

- 10 min ab circuit (weighted russian twists, plank, crunches, bicycles, leg raises)

☆ total - 47 min, 225 cal

***Y'all the Ninja Creami machine is the best thing EVER. I've been making protein ice cream and froyo in it every week and I'm genuinely so obsessed. I love having a lil sweet treat without ruining an entire day's worth of progress 🥹🤍

☆ daily log 5/22 - 5/25 ☆

Had a few crazy days in a row and forgot to make a post but still tracked everything so here’s a recap!

☆ 5/22 ☆

Food: protein coffee, egg roll bowl, Panera soup & salad, protein rice crispy, & kettle corn popcorners chips

Total cal: 1,443

Workout: back & shoulders, 48 min

☆ 5/23 ☆

Food: coffee, taco soup & sweet potato tortilla chips, oat milk latte, protein shake, mandarin, & spaghetti

Total cal: 1,462

Workout: 2.64 mile walk outside, 49 min

☆ 5/24 ☆

Food: almondmilk latte, turkey & cheese, carrots & hummus, strawberries, protein shake, teriyaki chicken & rice, green beans, protein rice crispy

Total cal: 1,392

Workout: 2.42 mile walk outside, 45 min

☆ 5/25 ☆

(today)

Food: iced almondmilk latte, cookie from bestie’s cookie business, Bibibop chicken salad bowl, Panera iced green tea, protein shake, 1/2 Chipotle bowl

Total cal: 1,409

Workout: PF 30 min express, stairstepper, 45 min

☆ daily log 5/21 ☆

☆ food ☆

- breakfast: black coffee ft. baby yoda mug(1)

- lunch: ‘taco soup’ with sweet potato tortilla chips (494)

- snacks: granola bar, protein shake (336)

- dinner: chickpea, red bell pepper, & feta wrap w/ avocado cilantro sauce (402)

- dessert: vanilla cheesecake Greek yogurt (98)

☆ total - 1,341 cal

☆ water - 138 oz

☆ exercise ☆

LISS day

- 45 min treadmill walk @ 3.0 mph, 10.0 incline

- 18 min walk outside with coworkers

☆ total - 63 min, 477 cal

I didn’t get any real work done today. My motivation for putting effort into literally any part of my life other than this is nonexistent.

Saturday 28/10

Today I had 729 calories, I really wanna cut down though because I haven't really lost any weight in the past week😭

For breakfast/lunch dad made me some sausages and eggs and I felt bad so I didn't wanna turn it down😭 it was 353 calories

I had a little meal around 5 because I get hungry around then, it was around 25 calories

For dinner I had what I had yesterday which is some glazed salmon with some leftover creamy potatoes which was 350 calories