I Wanna Disappear - Blog Posts

I failed at trying to get rid of myself. It hurts

What if I block everyone and delete all my socials ? 🤔🤔

Help-.. I accidentally gave my classmate a Bluetooth kiss 😭

I just wanted to disappear.

the comfort i find in the rain is kinda unreal

•🌧️🩶•

Where To Find Me If I've Disappeared:

-Sitting under a tree, reading a book

-Basking in moonlight

-Stargazing

-Wandering in a forest

-Sitting by an ocean/jumping in the ocean

-Looking up in the sky

-Getting lost in thought/daydreaming, anywhere

-Writing poems in the rain

-Jumping in puddles in the rain

-Writing during a storm

-Crying, anywhere

-Being captured by aliens

-Being locked up in my room, watching anime

-Spending time with any animal to exsist. Ever.

-Sketching at a coffee shop

-Spending time with the best people in the world, AKA my friends

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Me after not seeing him for 2 days 😍 (I don’t need help I need to see him)

throw ur dreams in the trash baby girl xx

This song is how i feel on a daily basis, this is no joke i genuinely feel like this and it is the worst thing, i have so much emotion packed inside of me yet i cant cry and that doesn’t make sense or i cant when i want to anyway. Im holding it back but why i js i cant. All i need by radiohead is how feel all the time, think of me once in a while, take care is how i feel all the time, left alone is how i feel all the time, i want you to love me is how i feel all the time, a million songs song in tune to the melody of my soul, they sre the melody pf my soul but fuck its getting to much now. I feel everythibg so deeply but i only feel the empty, im so full of it its consuming me and eating me whole, i want to feel what a real emotion feels like again, i know what it sounds like, what it looks like but when can i feel it because ot feels like im gonna implode. Theres so much i wanna say, but i dont know where to start. Thats a quote from one of my favourite films tbat i watched for the first time recently’i belive in unicorns’. This video os really how i feel aswell, the twat diddnt seem to love me af my lowest, its so fucking intese it visibly pours from my eyes and my mouth and basically im a dissolving wreck of a broken mind, when it hits it hits hard because it’s everywhere, you see it in my room and on my body and its in my head and its the way i est, sleep, function in life. It was too intense for the cretin to handle that even the bare minimum of reassurance caused me to receive annoyance and yelling, The second request on my autumn wishlist stems from this. Love me how i love you which means at my lowest, at my highest, through all my flaws, quirks and all that i have to show; for you i would but when is it my turn to fucking feel love. I felt loved for a short amount of time but with the fact it was a short amount of time means it was short lived so even throughout the initial relationship i did feel how the creature changed, grew less attentive, didnt care as much, not payong as much attention and not putting enough time aside for me and partly thst is my fault for allowing them to act like that ss even thogh they did ask i js said everything was fine to everything because im scared of being physically hurt os shouted at or them losing love for me. I am so fucking lonely snd even tho i have friends it js doesnt feel like the pure human connection i crave. I hate living. im no longer scared to die and only its something sought after. Theres so much i wanna say but idk where to start.

Why do I keep thinking of harming myself

Why am i trusting him with my body if i cant even trust him with my mind?

I miss the stinging feeling. Even how days after i cut, it still stung if u touched it or moved the wrong way. I miss being distracted by the way the pain made me feel.