I Wanna Be Th1n - Blog Posts

Not saying he's thinspo, buuuuut-

Lol I have a problem (more like obsession)

Btw I did draw this, so don't steal it pls 💕

Back on board

After 2 months of binging I’ve gained 7kg and I’m back on board to start working it all off mainly because I desperately want to kill myself and I’ve seen a few recent photos of me and I’m pretty sure that if I continue I’m never going to stop

I’m back at the starting weight of 75kg

I know I’ve gained a lot in two months an you probably think it will be easier to just kill myself but I am willing to try and actually not be such a fuxking fat ass

I’m going to kill myself

I’ve got the pills and this time it will kill me

I am so sick of this fucking pain, being at the weight, the voices, the thoughts. I’m fucking over it all

I’m sick of uni, sick of people and relationships and sick of never getting the help I need

Bye everyone and I apologise for every being in your life

Was feeling really hungry today to I waited for dinner and had some squid + veggies with long grain rice (picked most of it off) + beetroot (max of 400 cals)

Also had some fruit salad which was max of (150 cals)

So I’m total I had 550 cals

Not a good day today not a good day at all!

And to top that off I relapsed on self harm after being 3 weeks clean

I’m not usually scared of liquid calories but today I had 2 McDonald’s coffee frappe (no whipped cream and no chocolate drizzle) but I’m still fuxking scared of how many calories I had today even tho I only ate 200 calories.

I’m not usually this scared of liquid cals, I avoid them where I can but I’ve got my safe drinks which is caramel latte (120 cals wit milk) and McDonald’s coffee frappe (no cream or chocolate) (400 cals) which usually make me happy and not give me a panic attack like they did today. I’ve had so many calories today it’s not funny and I’m positive I’m gonna gain weight!

I just want to throw myself of a bridge for letting myself have this many calories, it’s like I want to stay fat at this point.

I’m so over myself and I just want this to end

Ed meme dump

HELLO EVERYONE, I HIT MY NEXT GOAL WEIGHT OF 68kg WEIGHING IN AT 67.90kg

In 12 weeks I’ve managed to lose 9.10kg (20lbs) and 17.10kg (37.6lbs) since my high weight.

Current BMI 25.2

Next gw

65kg/143lbs

Okay so I just binged on kfc and a donut, it was 546 cals for the tenders and 300 cals for the donut. I’m literally so dead and want to kms. I purged it but still feel like absolute shit with a total of 1107 calories in total today.

I need to die, I am sick of this cycle.

Weekly check in

okie so today I weighed 70.10 but my low weight during the the week was 69.80 which pisses me off that I gained 300g. Anyways still making progress ig

Weighed in at 69.80kg this morning 👌

I’m at a plateau still 🥲

I’ve literally been at this weight for a month and I am crying.

I am going to try high cal restriction for a week instead of just a few day. Around 1200 - 1500 cal (5028kj - 6285kj)

I’m hoping this will boost my metabolism and get out of this weight cause I was going amazing and losing a 1kg a week and now I’m, well, here in a plateau.

Any other tips are greatly appreciated 😊

Egh I’ve hit a plateau and keep jumping around the 72kg mark and it’s making me want to kms

Any tips of getting out??

Ugh I gained since last Sunday 🥲

I’ve been binging the past couple of days cause I’ve been feeling so lonely and the scale shows it. I literally just want to kms right now. I hit a LW of 71.80kg but yeah that didn’t last, did it.

✨insert panic attack✨

Went over my calorie budget by 16 cals 🙄

Breakfast = berry smoothie

Lunch = boiled curried egg whites (60 cals), Vitagrain seasame crackers (78cal), red apple with honey (90 cals) and cracked pepper jatz (38cal). 266 Calories

Dinner = Pepsi max

I was meant to stick to 250 cals today but when I saw the jatz crackers I couldn’t resist but to have some.

Stats - Active 7/22

I DO NOT ENCOURAGE STARVING, PURGING, PROANA OR ANYTHING THIS IS A COPING TOOL

17 - 75kg/150lbs - 164cm/5’3 - BMI 27

Goals & rewards

GW1 ~ 80kg/176lbs -🔓New shirt

78kg/171lbs -🔓

74kg/163lbs -🔓

GW2 ~70kg/154lbs - 🔓Waist beads

68kg/150lbs - 🔓

GW3 ~ 65kg/143lbs - 🔒Brandname pants

62kg/136lbs - 🔒

58kg/127lbs - 🔒

UGW~ 55kg/120lbs - 🔒Dunno yet

A little about me

Ive had an Ed since I was 8 unfortunately and it went from BED to ANA with b/p subtype since then

I fast as long as I can as eating nothing is easier than eating a little, the longest being 127 hours (6 days). Whenever I eat something I purge it regardless of it being a binge or not, I’ve been trying not to but it’s really hard to sit with the feeling.

Feel free to bully me with meanspo, sweetspo and whatever

Lots hope I weigh less next Sunday, I binged yesterday and I only gained 500g despite eating like 2000 cals.