Hobart Brown - Blog Posts

... I saw ATSV again

So... I saw Across the Spiderverse...

Punkflower is everything. I am painstakingly waiting for more fics, but if there aren't more soon imma take things into my own hands

hobie’s seen some of miles’ graffiti work and took interest in it himself, so one day he asks miles if he could spray paint a spider on one of his plain tees to give it pizazz.

usually, miles isn’t really worried about his graffiti art being perfect; but this time it’s different. hobie’s cool as hell, what if he doesn’t like the finished product? that’d destroy his ego.

so he’s been circling around the t-shirt that laid on the floor, shaking a can of black spray paint for about ten minutes now. it was simple, really; all he needed to do was a circle and then the spider on the inside, but he couldn’t bring himself to start just yet, because what if the circle comes out lopsided, or he doesn’t make the spider big enough to fit four legs on each side?

it didn’t really help that hobie leaned against the wall in front of miles, observing miles circle around like a nervous mess.

“miles.. you good?”

“huh?”

“you’ve been doing..” unsure of what to call it, hobie motions with his hand, “this, for the past ten minutes. do you like.. need some inspo?”

“oh no, it’s not that, it’s just..” he isn’t sure how to cover it up, so he just is honest, “i don’t wanna mess it up, it’s gotta look nice.”

“it’s fine, no big deal if it’s messy.”

“you sure?” miles stops his pacing, looking down at the blue tee. it was modified, the collar and bottom hem messily torn off to fit hobie’s style more, and now miles felt a bit stupid for overthinking his craft; hobie was all about messy!

“yeah, the shirt don’t got any sentimental value for me yet, so i’m not gonna get mad if you absolutely fuck up the spider.” hobie shrugs.

miles raises a brow. “yet?” he’s really curious about what that means, and even finds himself hoping it means what he thinks it does.

he totally isn’t sure why though, of course.

“yeah, right now this shirt is just like, basic.” hobie starts, and miles doesn’t realize it but his voice gets a bit softer. “it doesn’t really have a meaning, but once you give it your touch it gets its value, because it’s your craft that you’re giving to me, y’know?”

there’s a lot more that hobie wanted to say, but he couldn’t get the courage to do it. he realizes he kind of went off on a tangent, and possibly annoyed miles, if it weren’t for the wide eyed look on the boy’s face. “sorry, that was a bit too much.” he grimaces.

“oh, oh no, it’s fine!” miles reassures the other, a smile on his face. “i appreciate your appreciation a lot.”

he shakes the can of spray paint, a hint of determination in his eyes as he looks at the tee once more.

He's defo a smoker🚬

Hobie x Squirter!Reader

Reader be making a mess but she can’t help it :,(, it’s Hobies fault yk! she gets embarrassed about it everytime and always apologizes in the midst of her 🌰

Until Hobie just rams her until the bed is completelyyyyy soaked and Reader is dehydrated because… he doesn’t care 🥱

:3

Squirting

Hobie Brown x fem!reader

Warning/s: smut, p in v, I don't know just unholy shit

You were a moaning mess as Hobie was pounding into you, his dick reaching your cervix everytime he did so. Your moans got louder as you clenched around him, letting him know you were close.

Your problem was that you were a huge squirter. Of course, you and Hobie had sex before, and the first few times you squirted he just thought he made you feel really good, then later on both of you were too fucked out to notice you were squirting your juice all over him. But you were embarassed, leaving the bed always drenched in your cum, along with Hobie's face.

He thrusted into you one last time, his hips stuttering has he pulled out to cum on your thighs, only to be met with the sight of you struggling beneath him. He then noticed he had accidentally edged you, making you whine. He chuckled "'m sorry doll, thought you were cumming already" he started rubbing your clit with his thumb while inserting his middle and ring finger into you, making you moan out loudly. Fuck, he was going to see you squirt all over him just because of his fingers.

Your face was flushed as you bucked your hips, finally getting your release with your face scrunched up. And there it was, your cum completely soaking the bed sheets underneath you, along with Hobies hand. You whimpered, mumbling out apologies non stoppingly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—"

"What're you sorry for?" Hobie interrupted you, feigning innocence. He knew damn well.

"For making a mess" you mumbled shyly, but as you looked up at him you were met with the sight of a smirk plastered across his face. Before you could question anything, his face lowered down to your thighs, his eyes not leaving yours as he licked a stripe off of your cunt. You moaned, clenching your thighs around him.

"You think a bit o' a mess 's gonna stop me from fuckin' you?"

You blushed, nodding slightly.

He grinned "guess I gotta prove my girl wrong" and his dick was back into you instantly. You gripped the sheets tightly, your mouth falling open as he didn't give you any time to adjust, literally just fucking your soul out. It didn't take long to make you cum, he noticed on the way you had started rambling, but he could only understand his name and a few plea's.

You reached your orgasm quickly, squirting all over his cock this time. He grunted "good girl, good fuckin' girl" and his praise immediately sent you over your edge again, surprising the both of you. However, Hobie was proud of his work. He made sure to tease you alot about it later. He didn't stop pounding into you, but his dick was covered in your juice, making his thrusts sloppy while your cum dripped down from the both of you.

Hobie pulled out one orgasm after another from you, sometimes using his mouth to make you cum, or his fingers, his dick, he also made you grind on his thigh twice, only for his thigh to end up as drenched as ever. You had started feeling overstimulated a long time ago, but this didn't stop Hobie and you were fully convinced he did, in fact, love making you squirt, even if everything ended up messy afterwards, which included the both of you.

You were bouncing on his cock, whining and biting into his shoulder as tears spilled out of your eyes. "H-hobie.. n..no more, please" you whimpered, your pussy fucked raw and puffy. He chuckled, "you can do one more sweetheart, 'tll be the last, yeah?"

Your eyes fought to stay awake, however you nodded, you couldn't say no to him. "So obedient" he mumbled, helping you to ride him. Your moans had turned into broken whimpers as your orgasm arrived once again. You felt his dick twitch in you and you immediately knew he was close too. He gripped you harder, slowly picking you up so his dick wasn't in you anymore, until he slammed you down, earning a loud scream from you and a moan from him. He did this a few more times, but soon you two were panting and with one more last big thrust he came deep into you, while you drenched his lap.

Your exhausted body went limp on him and you were able to hear his chuckles as he kissed your face. "Luv"

You hummed in response and he gripped your chin with his hand, making you look down to the bed which was fully wet, then to the cum on his lap which was dripping down to the sheets.

"Fuck"

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Bonus

Your body was hugging Hobie's, your legs around his waist and your head in his chest while he held your thighs. Naked, along with you, he picked you up, walking to the kitchen right after you two had the time of your lifes. As he had arrived to the kitchen, he had dragged a towel with him, placing it on the counter with you on top of it. He felt sorry for you after you had pleaded him to just take a towel, you didn't want to cause any more mess.

He stood between your legs, filling a glass with water "drink"

He placed the glass against your lips, and as you didn't gulp it down he spoke up "drink, luv, don't want my whore to faint just because of how many times I could make her squirt"

You blushed, squirming slightly and taking a sip out of the glass.

"Good girl"

Masterlist

Hobie Brown cosplay at Anime Expo 2023 by whoachriswhoa.

Dude I love this to no end

Still remenbering this gem I found in Twitter XD

Okay so random hc I thought of…

So most of the spiders use webslingers meaning they need web fluid. So that they’d have a place to easily get webs Miles makes and decorates little webfluid containers.

I just think this is cute so I though I’d sare!! Also ignore my shit art I can’t draw one bit.

Know that I am going to get pretty serious here, as this post is about Punkflower. I am going to talk about the age situation, the blatant racism ABOUT this ship, and to also talk about the ship itself*. There is also some talk about the shippers/non-shippers + Punkflower antis in general.

[*nothing negative! just like.. discussing it as a whole, because everybody needs to be aware of some important things. the shippers, non-shippers/people on neutral ground, AND the haters/antis.]

There is a BIG wall of text incoming, but all of it is organized to its very best at what I could do!! I first wrote this in docs, I did my best to make it not a whole chaotic mess to read through. It's a big post, but there's a lot of spacing and some text is coloured, so it will be very easy to read.

This is a very detailed and THROUGH post, so it is slightly recommended to read on computer for the best viewing experience.

[It's not needed as you can still just read on your phone/etc, I do want you lovely people to have the best viewing experience possible.]

There will be an expand button, so I will not clog your feed and the tags.

TDLR;

Dear punkflower shippers,

your prayers have been ANSWERED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SHIPPING PUNKFLOWER NOW 🙏

punkflower shippers, do not live in fear no more, for I am here now.

Sincerely, 

tumblr user: godunforgiving

Edited Note (06/21); FYI, I am muting this! Read the edit change log at the end of this post for more information. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

punkflower talk/analysis(?) + talking about Hobie’s age

This entire post is a discussion of various things, of my own thoughts and opinions! Some of the talk is about the posts + comments I have seen other people say about this ship [mainly questioning and worried ones.] All of the pieces of information that I knew were scattered, so I wanted to gather all of what I could find, and put it in a singular post for those still worrying.

[Also where others can actually just refer to this post and just read thru here first, instead of having to spend a lot of time going through the Punkflower tag to desperately find info!]

I would have gotten this finished and posted days ago, but you know, usual IRL things slowed me down, and I had to spend my day in the ER yesterday, lol.. I’m okay as of now! Just have to take it easy, but I really did want to finish writing my ass off with this post, since I know it’s important to me and for many others out there.

Take your time to read through this, and please absolutely feel free to add any of your input/extra knowledge/anything that I should add onto this post. DMs can be the best, or just through the comments can suffice, because I can and will edit anything into this post [that is accurate aka there is backed up evidence/sources to go along with it.] If you do want to see something added here, just tell me and I'll see if I can manage!

I genuinely hope that this post can be helpful to you, as it will be helpful for me!

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Please know that; I will directly quote from many people, as all of them will be credited properly by being mentioned down below and leaving their username (that is linked back) with their respective quotes, because their own pieces of text really helped build this post! I cannot thank each person enough.

Do not be a piece of shit and go after or ‘witch hunt’ any of them. Respect their own privacy and being.

users mentioned (IOOA): @comfortingnightmare, @luvvnobo, @ghostspider-isms, @saltylemonade13, @artisan-is-bored, @bellamer, @uglynavel, @peachypea0ny (fyi, site is not allowing me to tag), @crownecromancer, @raspberryjars, @spideyzpoolsp, @hamiltonforpowerpoint

[If you are one of the mentioned people, and you want yourself to be removed or become anonymous, please let me know ASAP!]

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Notes:

If you are colourblind (some of the text is coloured fyi! colours used are blue, pink, and purple), or have difficulty reading text due to it being too small, or can't read the font, etc, please let me know! I can give you a google docs link of this entire post that is best suited for your needs. No, you will not be a burden to me. Your needs are very important, and I will want to assist with the best that I can do with that!

I, godunforgiving, am on a mix of a positive + neutral ground on the topic of shipping Punkflower. I absolutely adore the comic!Punkflower, and I am fond of ATSV!Punkflower with the way I view it. Reason why I said neutral, know that I am not against the ships by any means!! But I guess why I say that is because there wasn’t a lot of canon media to consume [ATSV!Punkflower], and I want more [Also note that I have NOT seen the movie yet.] I don’t usually ‘do’ shipping when it comes to various franchises, I guess it’s mainly just not my thing? But I do know that I’ve come to like Punkflower.

I do not ‘do’ discourses, nor do I intend to actively join them! This is my first time doing something like this / this being my first ‘discourse’, yet I hope for it to be my last. I made this post with the pure intention to help the Punkflower shippers. Do know that!! I know that many people do not like the topic of discourses, but this one and the problems I’ve seen revolving around Punkflower, I just have to say something. Bc idk if anybody else is going to [with the way I did this post], considering the mess that occurred days ago, but someone has to and has to do it properly.

I am autistic, so I may process words + information differently, or even ‘incorrectly’. So if a sentence doesn’t make sense, due to perhaps my misuse of grammar, etc, please do not hesitate to ask/reach out, and I can do my best to re-explain it to you.

Negative comments [and comments directly to this post where the person is actually spreading misinfo], will be deleted. Know that if you decide that you disagree with this post, then okay! I am not bothering you, just as I hope that you will revert to ignoring me, instead of hating on me. Please have the common decency to just be kind or even don’t say anything at all, and carry on with your day.

If you have any concerns regarding this post, do not hesitate to reach out to me.

this post was originally inspired by a friend, then originally created for @feuille-morte, but it is finished for the rest of the punkflower fans, ily all. take care of yourselves!! anything for these cute silly little guys ok (and the entire punkflower nation)

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let’s get started with an introduction.

“what is Punkflower?”

Punkflower is a slash [aka queer] relationship between two black male teenagers, Hobie Brown and Miles Morales. Usually, it is perceived a romantic relationship, as some other people only see the pairing as a platonic duo and such. I do not know more forms of Punkflower, but I will use the 'main' two forms in this post. Comic![SG!]Punkflower [SG is Spider-Geddon, a comic series first released on Sept 2018], and Across the Spider-Verse aka ATSV!Punkflower.

Think of it as the same ships with the same characters, but in different fonts.

Comic!SG!Punkflower has existed for nearly 5 years now, likely first existing sometime in late 2018 to early-mid 2019. Both Miles and Hobie are very close in age in the comics, at around 16 to 17 years old. Away from Spider-Geddon(?), but still on the topic of comics, Hobie is still 16-17 in the comics.

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“people are saying Punkflower is a problematic ship!”

The main [and probably only] source of this misinformation, is from a clip that was cropped to be posted with the intention of spreading heavy misinformation (We will get into that next.) So, as far as I am aware, and know; Punkflower antis are throwing around p/do allegations, because they hate the ship and they are outraged with people enjoying it. This hate is clearly rooted with racism, and homophobia. So, no, Punkflower is not a minor x adult ship!

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“the interview talk, what happened, and what is actually real?”

If you’ve watched the interview, you can easily see that they were talking about the brainstorming process of developing Hobie's early ideas for his character. A director mentioned that in the early concept stage, Hobie was originally going to be 19-20 [This wasn’t even our Hobie, but Prowler Hobie.]

A person cut a very small clip of the mentioned interview, and uploaded it, a clip that was EXTREMELY out of context. 

The uploader cut out the part explaining that Hobie’s ‘original’ age had changed as his character was being developed.

So from this, and no context given, a lot of people were instantly quick to hate; since it was on purpose to make the entire ship, AND those who enjoyed the ship, look extremely bad. What happened was not okay, yet this disgusting behaviour is at an attempt to be justified [and those people are trying to justify literal racism and homophobia.]

“19-20 thing that the directors mentioned were Hobie’s early designs ideas but those eventually changed as his character changed. Even one of the directors said its up to interpretation plus even his VA was all hinty towards Gwen and hobie so honestly its up to you what his age is" - comfortingnightmare

As soon as the clip came out, I had started to see a number of people saying that, apparently, Hobie looked like he was in his 20s to his 30s** (while also throwing subtle/discreet hits towards the Punkflower ship), but this was after the clip came out.

**Literally saw someone on Tumblr say that he looked like 28, and trying to shut down the idea of Hobie being a teenager. Like be completely serious with me right now..

Things don’t quite add up here. This was because of WHAT Hobie only looked like, and now it just has to be racially motivated, as there are no solid explanations or reasonings for their behaviour and disgust. Those people just look bad [as they should.]

So, no, Hobie is not 19-20. Another director had confirmed that Hobie’s age is UP TO INTERPRETATION.

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[TLDR; The interview got taken completely out of context from a clip that made people start throwing SERIOUS accusations left and right.. Since more people actually later found out that the clip was taken out of context [instead of doing research], the situation died down, but people are walking on eggshells now. The haters were being desperate likely because Punkflower is a black queer/mlm relationship, since there is no solid explanation for this hating.]

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“So.. what can we interpret Hobie’s age as?”

That is where I come in! I have many reasons that can help you decide what Hobie's age is to you. And those many reasons are speculated on Hobie's age being 16-17, as many users already guess that Hobie's age is equivalent to a teenager's age. I also believe this idea, as there are many things that already support this thought process.

[But if you like.. (god, I hope nobody does) go through this list and conclude that Hobie is 18+ and continue to ship that Hobie and 15 yr old Miles (or any of the minors).. GTFOH.]

1. Hobie Brown in other media (I’m talking about the comics for instance) is commonly shown for Hobie to be a teenager at either 16 or 17 years old.

“Hobie is in fact labeled as ‘badmouthed teenager’ since 2014 and is 16-17 in the comics and that just because he doesnt have a confirmed/canonical age in ATSV, hes still in the age range of a teenager (16-18)" - luvvnobo

2. Topic of the spider-bite. 

ATSV!Hobie is likely to be 16-17 years old (18 at the latest), meaning that he would have been bit at the ages of 13-15. So IF Hobie was bit 3 years ago / at 14 years old, then he would be 16-17.

Realistically, this really could have happened, considering Hobie’s living conditions! [aka what led to Hobie getting bit by a radioactive spider in the comics.] If he indeed gets bit at 14 years old (like how Miles and Gwen got bit at that age for example), then either 16 or 17 yrs old.

Again, with how he lived; if he got bit at 13 = 15-16 years old in crrnt events of ATSV. [If you don’t know of Hobie’s conditions, in the comics I’m pretty sure he, like, basically lived on the streets as a homeless teenager]

“During the "Spider-Verse" storyline, the Earth-138 version of Spider-Man is revealed to be Hobart Brown, originally operating as Spider-Punk. He is a homeless teenager who was transformed by a spider that was irradiated as part of President Norman Osborn's toxic waste dumping.” - Spider-Punk: Wikipedia

The topic of the bite / needing to know if Hobie was (x) age when he got bit, isn’t very serious, as he is already grouped with 3 kids.

3. It would be unlikely (and also weird) for a four man crew to be 3/4 teenagers and 1 adult;

WHILE ALSO implying that the mentioned ‘adult’ and one of the mentioned teenagers could’ve had something going on. [Even if nothing really happened (keyword = implying), and how Pavitr treated it in that way, implies that Hobie isn’t that much older than the three.] [I would have kept this reason combined with the Spider bite topic aka reason No.2, since it’s actually referenced off of pastelnightgale’s post, just that this paragraph alone is solid enough as a separate reason.]

4. Hobie’s mannerisms.

Note, I haven’t seen the movie, but I have seen many clips. From those clips, he’s definitely a teenager at least, it made me feel like Hobie was 16 or 17 years old. I’ve asked two of my brothers; they said that he definitely was their age [both being 17.]

“my two cents on the age debate is like. hobie doesn’t have the vibes of an adult even if his age is up to “interpretation”. like i’m eighteen and bro has definitely gotta be younger than that. he makes my “stupid younger sibling” sense go haywire." - ghostspider-isms

5. If you look up “how old is hobie brown”

You will already see many people speculating that Hobie is likely to be around the same age range as Miles and Gwen [if not a bit older.]

Again, Hobie is already 16-17 years old in the comics. 

“in the spiderverse, we have seen that it is common for most spiders (gwen and miles specifically) to get bitten around 14. hobie states he’s been spider-man for three years, meaning he’s most likely 16-17." - artisan-is-bored

6. “Like if Hobie is really 19+ then why is it only a problem with Punkflower?? Wouldn’t the whole love triangle thing be a problem????" - saltylemonade13

Yes. It would be a SERIOUS problem. It also would make the other ships [Chaipunk, others with minors in them] very problematic and illegal ships. But Hobie isn't 18+.

7. Ageing down process happening to various characters in Spider Verse, and Hobie non affected?

If Gwen and the other spiders are aged down in Spiderverse, then it doesn’t make sense that Hobie was not aged down like the others.

8. Hobie literally hangs out around teenagers.

If an adult is constantly hanging out with other children, then that obviously would be the first problem. I wouldn’t really need to keep talking any more about this one. Because if a 19-20 year old was spending a majority of his time around young teenagers, ages ranging 15 through 17, and not really with anybody else his age or above, then yes, that’s already weird.

“it’s also implied that miles is jealous of gwen and hobie. why would the directors make a key plot point of the story be that hobie is a grown ass man hanging out with a bunch of teenagers? and that he might have a thing with one of them???" - artisan-is-bored

9. Genetics do not matter within age.

This is one of my most common quotes by now. Hobie is indeed very tall at almost 6 ft, yes. No, it does not mean that he is above 18+ years old. Hobie can be over 6 ft tall and still be 16-17 years old.

I have seen so many teenagers at drastically different heights, but still be the same age. Many of them being over 6 ft [180 cm], and still being in my age range, and having met a 5’10” 8th grader [aka 13 yrs old] years ago. Both of my previously-mentioned brothers are 6 ft and over 6 ft, yet they are only 17.

“people can look one age and be another." - artisan-is-bored

“hobie’s description as a character. hobie is a foul mouthed TEENAGER. that has been his description for the past five years." - artisan-is-bored

10. “how do i tell them Punkflower has been a thing since 2018 or 2019 and they have interacted in the comics (they are close in age)" - luvvnobo

11. “He has to be an adult, because he goes to pubs!!” Let’s be absolutely HONEST here.

“dude is BFF’s with the Riri of his universe, she can probably whip up a fake ID in no time and even if Riri isn’t in the Spiderverse, he still gets around and knows people. he’s definitely cool with someone who makes fake ID’s." - bellamer

What bellamer said. To add onto this, a pub is different from a BAR as well.

If you look up “what is a pub vs bar” your first result will be this.

To also add, all bars in England aren’t considered pubs.

“If you’re 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if you’re accompanied by an adult. However, this isn’t always the case. It can also depend on the specific conditions for that premises. It’s illegal to give alcohol to children under 5." From the official GOV of the UK website

But literally, let’s be honest here, Hobie would already know at least one person who will help him get in a pub, if he cannot do so himself. If Hobie is constantly going to pubs, then that does not mean he is getting drinks 24/7 when he is there, unless stated otherwise. Pubs focus on serving food and to give drinks [upon request] to go along with the meal.

Before 1995, children under the age of 14 were NOT allowed in pubs in England and Wales. And Hobie is definitely by no means 14. He is likely 16, or 17. He can already drink, with adult supervision, at 16 in pubs. But we know that Hobie is no law-abiding Spider-man.

12. “Hobie wouldn’t be able to own his own place!”

“it’s a key part of hobie’s comic backstory that he used to be homeless. once again, the breaking the law point still stands. wouldn’t be surprised if hobie bought an apartment with a fake ID, was squatting, or was staying in some sort equivalent of the community center that he used as his main group’s operation headquarters in the comics.” - artisan-is-bored

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I do not think that another director/anybody who worked on the movie will come out and say that Hobie is actually 18+ at this point. I CAN be wrong in the future, but right now, he is not, and there are my reasons for why I strongly agree with the idea of Hobie being a teenager.

ALTHOUGH, even IF a director comes out and says that ATSV!Hobie is actually 18+, obviously all of the ATSV!ships with him and the other minors should STOP RIGHT NOW. But as of now [06/13/23 (when I first wrote this)], and from what we already know, I do not see anything wrong with ATSV!Punkflower and my views.

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The racism revolving Punkflower is disgusting.

I’ve seen a lot of people bashing Punkflower when the whole misinfo-hobie-being-19/20-situation occurred, but ONLY with Punkflower [from what I’ve seen.] I didn’t see any of this happening to the other ships that Hobie is in / shipped with Gwen, and Pavitr.

I have not seen any, quite literally nobody, complaining about any other ship that isn’t Punkflower, and it’s insanely overwhelming and confusing?? People don’t complain when it comes to Hobie x Gwen, but if it’s with two queer black boys? Huge problem all of a sudden.

“Love how when it was Hobie and Gwen no one batted an eye but as soon as people started shipping two black males together all of a sudden everyone’s disgusted and outraged” - uglynavel

“none of y’all had a problem w gwen and hobie, but when hobie started getting shipped with miles and pav? y’all got pissed. get your racist and homophobic head out of your ass. even if hobie IS an adult in the movie, that still doesn’t mean that shipping him with miles in the comics suddenly isn’t valid. newsflash, gwen is MUCH OLDER than hobie in his universe.” - artisan-is-bored

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Other quotes, that I wanted to point out, but I didn’t sort them into a spot;

“There are a lot more weird problems in the ATSV fandom, yet people are worried about Flowerpunk and whether Hobie is of age, or not. Those problems are full on grown ass people sexualizing Miles, Gwen, and likely more. There’s already stuff about Peter B. and Miles ship, and THAT is an active problem on hand. More people need to worry about all of that instead of a guy who has an up-to-interpretation age (but is strongly, likely, a 16-17 year old if not an adult.)” - peachypea0ny

“I can’t even enjoy comic versions of punkflower without me being called a pedo or having multiple fucking comments telling me over and over that punkflower is a proship.” - uglynavel

“I’m sorry it’s just really not fucking fair what In THE ACTUAL MOVIE it can imply something between Gwen and Hobie but the SECOND people started shipping two black boys together then it became a huge fucking problem, here’s the thing if Hobie is actually older and they never say that in the movie but imply something to the audience that him and a sixteen year old girl could possibly have something between them THEN THATS GROSS I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE MOVIE IS! But Hobie is always, in other crossovers and his comics he is around 16, he has met Miles before in canon the ship’s not new, it was just small.” - crownecromancer (Edited to make sense, by me, godunforgiving.)

“punkflower is originally a comic ship, its been around for ages before atsv, its normal for shippers to crossover into different areas where the same characters are. he doesnt have an age on his wiki and why would he be said to have a love triangle with gwen if he WAS 19/20, idk why ppl have such a problem with punkflower but not with hobie and gwen??” - raspberryjars

“this is what happens when you believe in misinformation on the internet. no, there is no age gap, because hobie does not even have a canon age. if you watch the interview, instead of 10 seconds of it, he says it was early concepts of hobie. another director has confirmed his age is up to interpretation.. so. yall rlly need to stop with this, its weird asl. this whole thing was rooted in racism and homophobia, stop spreading misinformation I BEG.” - spideyzpoolsp

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Another disclaimer/notice;

PLEASE, PLEASE STOP BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE!! EVEN IN TIKTOK OR TUMBLR!

IF it’s a piece of information that could be misinformation revolving around Punkflower or Hobie Brown, or anything, DO find out if it is real or fake asap!

I’m using a method that I remember from my elementary school that was constantly talked about [can’t believe I’d bring it up in a post about a ship years later], however it really does pay out and work anywhere else tbh. The “Stop, Think, Act method”.

STOP = Pause, if it distresses you; then take a breath to calm down, avoid doing anything on impulse aka don't do anything without thinking carefully beforehand.

THINK = Instead of the “what is the problem, what are the options, best path forward?” in the method itself, we will reuse this but change stuff up that can apply directly to this post. So after stopping and calming down, we will think carefully and review what we already KNOW. If it’s where the piece of information is easily seen/known as misinfo, then you are good. If the piece of misinfo is affecting something that we already know, then we move onto the next step.

ACT = “Proceed with the best option. Act carefully, and revise if needed.” The best option forward from thinking, is to do research, and make sure that it is actually real, and not misinformation with lies laced within. IF it is indeed misinformation, then it is the best to alert others, with proof.

If you are thinking “But why even mention that method??” The best example to use this method is with the age discourse blowup. A LOT of people believed in the misinformation very, very fast. What should’ve happened is that the mentioned method should’ve occurred early, to help prevent most of the freak out and its damages. But many users may not have thought of that, or even know the method, so it is okay. At least it calmed down a lot as of now, just that people are now likely afraid.

[Note; I am NOT blaming anybody!! I also freaked out a bit too, but I stuck to what I already knew, until I found more information. At first I heard “Hobie is 19-20!!!!” I figured that it must’ve been misinfo through what I already knew, because adding all of what I knew and this uproar of info, it just didn’t add up from what I alrd knew. but I still researched and did my homework!! Just that more people should naturally second-guess things that they are suspicious of and also be aware of that method and to apply it online, as it is already useful in real life!]

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Wrapping this post up, finally.

It’s sad to see different Punkflower fans fight each other. But it’s also outrageous and annoying to see the plat!Punkflower shippers, who see Miles and Hobie strictly in a brotherly relationship, to throw the term ‘!ncest / pseudo-!ncest’ against the romantical Punkflower shippers.. Like holy shit, that doesn’t make you any better. Can people, please, stop throwing serious accusations against other people so nonchalantly?

These accusations are SO serious and life changing, even if it's pointed at the wrong person. But people are just too ignorant to realize that unfortunately.

“You see him (Hobie) as 19/20 who’s a big brother to the other spiders? Cool! You see him as 16/17 rebel teen amazing!” - hamiltonforpowerpoint

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End post.

Reblogs, likes, and comments of your own opinions of this post are so welcome!

Again, ily all and take care of yourselves!!

and again, if anything you think that should be added onto the post, let me know! have a great day everybody

A friend asked what’s up with the discourse, asked me to make a post, after hours of research - I absolutely fucking DELIVERED. Love you guys.

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Edit #1 (06/15); had to reformat some things since it just looked broken to me! Using the editor on mobile is a PAIN.. 0/10.

Edit #2 (06/16); an edit update! I rewrote some things (to hope to make the post sound more better), added some stuff in the notes section and some throughout the post itself, updated the crediting so the quotes used are credited and linked back to hell!!!! bc crediting others is awesome! and the post is also def over 4.2k words lol

Edit #3 (06/17); An anon told me that I was “misusing” the 'proship' term, so I edited the post. Proshitters can go to hell for all I care. To clarify, I am talking about problematic shippers. Edit #4 (06/19); oh my god 600+ notes?? i hope all of you are having an EXCELLENT month okay.. i love you guys <3 /plat

Edit #5 (06/21); I am muting this! I saw some people reply to this post, but I just do not have the ability to respond to them (Selective mutism), I did write “drafts” to them, but I do not feel like polishing it and responding. Just busy with other things, honestly! I may end up responding some time later, so yeah. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

Every once a few weeks I may check up on this post as well, until I stop altogether.

HOBIE BEING A TEENAGER IS NOW CONFIRMED! PUNKFLOWERS STAY WINNING STAY THRIVING STAY UNPROBLEMATIC AND UNBOTHERED THE KINGS AND QUEENS AND LIEGES AND ROYAL COURT JESTERS THAT WE ARE

EVEN IF YOU DON’T SHIP PLEASE REBLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD TO STOP OUR MASS HARASSMENT THANK YOU 🙏 🎸🌻 ♥️💙

[P.S. While I’m at it let me spread that one PSA!!!]

"I was just cool hold time"

I'm falling in love with this British guy 🥺✨

PART TWO OF LOVER HEADCANNONS OF HOBIE?? :3

Part Two of Lover!Hobie Headcanons!

-Hobie is not a man of particular tastes. He is content to follow your lead or do as he pleases to you, with consent.

-One of Hobie's favorite places is in between your legs, with your hand gripped into his wicks. He can't resist chuckling into your dripping folds as your hips grind against his face, your hand tugging him to where you want him for that delicious friction.

-He is a cuddler. Wherever you are, he naturally drifts to you and begins to spoon behind you, an arm wrapped loosely around your waist while you watch TV at his place. More often than not, these impromptu cuddling sessions end up with your panties pulled to the side, and his boxers shuffled down just enough for him to rub his cock up and down your slit. "What do y'say, baby, can I fuck you?" He would whisper, kissing the back of your neck fervently. The minute you nod, one hand hooks around your inner thigh and lifting it to slide himself deep with one thrust.

-Lazy mornings are his favorite. I think he may have a slight somnophilia kink. He would love to open his eyes in the morning to see his partner grinding themselves into his hard length through his boxers, having gave his consent for this type of thing ages ago. He would pull you down to kiss him before moving his hands squeezing your hips and grinding his own hips up further into you."Couldn't keep your hands off me, hm?" He would murmur against your lips. "Dirty, dirty~" he chuckles approvingly, knowing he's just as dirty.

How ATSV Characters react to an shy S/O

-Miles is awkward but he tries his best. He doesn't want to overwhelm you and takes things at a slow pace. He will be the one to slowly initiate small touches and contact, his hand lightly brushing over your own as you walk together or a extremely light feather kiss to the top of your head when you get walked home by him. He's patient, if not a bit shy himself.

-Gwen is an overthinker. She thinks too much about holding your hand too long, if maybe offering to watch an movie with you and cuddle is too soon for the relationship so she requires some reassurance now and then. She wants to show you she cares but she's unsure how without flustering the both of you in a way that doesn't seem like teasing. For now, hand holding and light kisses on the cheek will have to do. Not that she minds.

-Hobie. This guy is so confident in himself it's nearly painful. He loves to fluster you by leaning down beside you when you don't notice him, and whispering into your ear and calling you a sweet pet name or pulling you closer when you're sat beside him in a distance he deems that you're too far away from him. He wouldn't take getting an reaction out of you too far but, he does love to test what might make you tick at him. But let's be honest, he would love to piss you off and see you take the reigns.

-Pav is an awkward mix of confident and overly worried. It's funny how he tries to lean his arm over your shoulder all nonchalant while you coincidentally watch an romance movie on the television but he would whisper into your ear "Is this okay?" "It's not too much right?" "Okay, just let me know if you want me to move my arm." "...you're sure you're comfortable with this?" He likes to check that he isn't making you uncomfortable. Making a bit too much but that doesn't hurt right?

-Miguel just feels bad, most of the time. I mean, you have a right to be flustered and shy around him, look at him for Christ's sake. He's aware he's intimidating, and has accidentally managed to scare his S/O on one more than one occasion so he just tries to make up for it with tiny trinkets he made in his very rare freetime. He will try his best to speak soft and sweet to his partner, ensuring that they are comfortable before initiating anything, the most he will start to do is pressing an kiss to the back of your hand. He'll be patient for you.

Hobie Brown with an mute S/O!

-Hobie I feel would already know sign language, sometimes just finger spelling to keep his skills up to par. So when he meets his future mute S/O, he sighs much more around then, just to get them comfortable and not so subtly let them know he signs. He thinks he's so smooth until he accidentally one day trips his future s/o, he panics and forgets all signs and feels horrible but his future partners shoulders would just bounce up and down with an smile, their version of laughing. Yeah. He's smitten from that moment on.

-Once him and his S/O start dating, he's incredibly attentive from the start. He knows that his partner can take care of themselves but that won't stop him from telling the person who made your burger that you asked for no pickles, hand on his hip expectantly. (Not rudely ofc but, he would let his displeasure be known)

-Whenever he's not around his partner, he would just be so used to finger spelling and signing it's second nature, say he's on patrol and he's just finger spelling the lyrics to one of his favorite songs, thinking of his partner.

General Hobie Headcanons!

-He definitely carries a penny in his pockets just so he can use, "Penny for your thoughts?"

-Has the randomest shit in his pockets. Crumbled pieces of paper? Check. An half eaten bag of chips he was saving for later? Yep. Turning those tiny crumbled pieces of paper into balls to toss at Miguel when he isn't looking? You betcha.

-Snacks non stop yet gains nothing. He would be wandering around HQ bored as hell and eating his chips in one sitting, then eat a burger, then drink an soda in like ten minutes and still be hungry. He would stare into your soul while refilling his soda in a water cup down at the spider cafeteria.

-Hobie just has the warmest hands. He's a heater, so he gets warm very easily so him wearing crop tops and tanks should be expected frequently, I see this man just chilling in his boxers briefs at his place, absolutely miserable in the heat and only giving one word hums or grunts in response to anything he's asked.

-He has stabbed himself with his pins on more than one occasion. He switches out his pins depending on the day, but he has some sentimental ones that he refuses to take off. "Ova' my dead body, more like."

-definitely has a weird sense of humor and talks to himself on the daily, although most of it might be late night delirium because he is for sure a night owl. "Is darkness just the lack of light or is light the lack of darkness?" A pause..then a whispered continuation. "Am I just darkness with the lack of light???" Proceeds to stare at his hands as if they personally wronged him.

Piercings and pretty lips

⚠️ TW ⚠️ : Mentions of piercings, needle and decent in depth process of tongue piercing.

Duck- Affectionate British slang term of affection for another person.

Word Count:2,066

"This would go so much smoother if you stayed still, y'know."

You give an incoherent response as you glare at Hobie through the iridescent light of his bathroom, not that he wouldn't be able to tell the mild impatience in your tone regardless of how unintelligible. Your tongue is pinched carefully between Hobies index and thumb finger, his eyes flickering from yours and back to the extended pink muscle.

Being around Hobie must be an greater influence than what you had expected, as you mentioned thinking about getting an piercing in casual conversation with him while lazing about one slow afternoon at his swaying canal boat home, Hobie had practically perked up like an shark smelling blood in the water at the idea.

How you had convinced Hobie to pierce your tongue in his bathroom of all places though in your eagerness, you aren't too sure but you're certainly not complaining while you sit on the edge of his bathroom counter, Hobie situated between your spread legs to get to properly get a grip on your tongue, seeing if you have the proper anatomy for said piercing.

Hobie hums, tugging just a bit on your tongue between his fingers, testing the elasticity of it ignoring when you grumble at him. "Well, you certainly have the anatomy for it." He says, releasing his pinched fingers from your tongue. You bring your tongue back in your mouth, running it along the roof of your mouth to get rid of that odd dry feeling of it being exposed to air for longer than usual.

"Is that a yes, then?" You ask, barely able to contain your excitement at Hobie nod. He leans to the side, one of his hands lightly drums onto your thigh into an practiced rhythm while the other pulls up the tray of sterilized tools he had prepared on the counter for after his inspection of your tongue. Although you're sure he's had it down his throat enough times to know you had the proper anatomy the entire time, but you don't say complain.

"And you're positive you want this, duck?" He says, quirking up one pierced eyebrow at you still drumming his fingers against your thigh, leaning back to fully gauge your reaction. The familiar nickname rolling off of his tongue, you never really did ask why he had started to call you that but it feels too late to ask about it now. You just glare at him and nod, even sticking out your tongue to further solidify your stubborn answer, you feel if you prolong this you might go back on this whole idea. Hobie huffs out an small chuckle as he shakes his head amused by your antics, "Alright, if you're sure.." he murmurs fingers finally resting against your thigh.

He grabs at an thin black marker from his pocket, gently gripping your tongue between his index and thumb finger again his eyes narrowed in focus as he dots right in the middle of your offered tongue. It surprisingly doesn't have an gross taste you note, just a tad bitter. Hobie leans back and releases his hold on your tongue, shuffling to open a drawer beside your calf digging around until grasping at an hand held mirror and holds it up for you to see the dot marked on the pink muscle. "Right 'bout there?" He asks.

You look into the mirror already trusting Hobies judgement and precision, nodding in satisfaction as you deem the placement of the dot acceptable. Hobie nods back, although it's more of an subconscious movement of your own agreement. He places the handheld mirror down beside you on the counter, his warm hand drifting from your thigh to open the sterilized packed needle on the metal tray on your opposite side. He opens the package with quick fingers, likely from practice of piercing his friends over the years and stitching. You feel a hint of nerves buzzing in the pit of your belly, but you trust Hobie explicitly to not screw this up...mostly. But if things were to go wrong, you would have solid blackmail for at least an year you think on the bright side.

Hobie then grabs at an pair of silver long forceps laid on the silver tray next to you, adjusting his hold on them, moving towards your tongue, clamping down on it with an steady grip as he lines up the dot on your tongue with the hole in the forceps. It doesn't feel too uncomfortable just a bit firmer pressure than Hobies fingers, your eyes trailing Hobies fingers as they move deftly into the open package of the piercing needle and picking it up between two fingers.

"Right, on three.." he murmurs, his eyes meeting yours for a moment of mutual understanding, your hands move to grip at the hem of Hobies shirt in preparation for what is more likely going to hurt like an bitch. You close your eyes as Hobie begins to count down, you feel him move just a bit closer his thigh nudging your legs apart just enough to slide a bit further in between them, easily closing most of the space between you. It would be tender how he molds himself to you if it weren't for the giant needle hovering so close to you.

"One...two...three-!" He cuts himself off just as he pushes the needle in through your tongue. Your grip on Hobies shirt tightens instantly as the needle strikes all the way in. You feel saliva build up in your mouth from the sudden sharp pinch, your nose scrunching up as you breathe through the discomfort as you try to keep your tongue still regardless of the forceps doing that perfectly for you.

"There you go, duck...jus' breathe, in and out through your nose." Hobie murmurs soft reassurances as he puts the forceps aside while keeping the needle steady through your tongue while his other hand grabs at the jewelery placed on the side that he had shown you for your possible options of tongue piercings he had kept around in a tiny mint container assuring you they were all sterilized and clean although you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes as he said it was for in his words 'Mo-mintos' .

You had opted for an an small silver one, it's regular in size and shape but he had said it would look perfect with a sly wink, almost as if knowing something you don't. The last thing Hobie had wanted to do was overwhelm you with a larger piercing you assume.

He slides the jewelery in with ease as he pushes the needle out completely, tossing away the needle efficiently to the trash can in the opposite side of the room before working on screwing in the balls of the silver piercing on each end with quick fingers, unbothered when a bit of saliva and blood runs down over his fingers. You finally peek your eyes open squinting at Hobie through the tears.

Hobie looks up from your now fully pierced tongue, his pupils are a black hole surrounded by his beautifully colored iris as he looks into your eyes. He hums lowly in appreciation, his right hand coming up to wipe away at the saliva and blood dribbling down your chin. "How're you feelin'?" he asks, always attentive. If you weren't so focused on how close he is you can hear the undertone of pride as he speaks.

You slowly bring your tongue back into your mouth, feeling the cold metal of the piercing quickly adjust to the warm temperature of your mouth. The taste of your blood in your mouth isn't unbearable, but the amount of saliva gathering in your mouth is a mild inconvenience as you begin to talk. "I feel fine but it feels weird.." you acknowledge, testingly running it along the roof of your mouth before Hobie can warn you.

You wince immediately feeling as if your tongue were struck by lightning, and Hobie clicks his tongue but his eyes show only concern if not a hint of amusement too. His hands land on your thighs squeezing through the denim of your jeans to try to ground you against the pain buzzing through you. "Ya can't just do that. It's gotta heal." He scolds you giving you an raised eyebrows look, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which it is. But still.

You nod as your eyebrows remain scrunched together, mostly focusing on trying to will the pain away, but ever greatful for Hobies quick thinking of using his hands to squeeze and rub up and down your thighs, the warmth of his large palms through your jeans is hard not to notice. His lovely, talented palms. Good God, now you're blushing. As if the pain wasn't enough to make you want to jump off of a cliff.

If Hobie didn't notice the heat rising to your cheeks he most certainly is almost able to feel it by how close he is. You speak after the pain finally dims, just slightly. "I was curious." Is all you state, beginning to feel your tongue swell around the base of where the piercing is nestled. Hobie snorts, his head rolls down to your shoulder momentarily, resting there as he stills his comforting motions on your thighs. You barely stop the whine coming from your throat as Hobie pulls his hands away, only to stop once they land on your cheeks and he looks back up, meeting your burning gaze.

"You're an dunce. Open up f'me."

You don't even bother to validate that with an verbal response, guessing he wants to see the piercing once more. You oblige and open your mouth, sticking your tongue back out, the shiny metal damp with saliva and hints of blood. Hobie seems to drink the sight in eagerly, his eyes glued to the metal jewelry he had placed there.

"Knew it would look killer, had a bunch'a fun memories with this one.." he murmurs, thumbs rubbing subconsciously at the skin of your cheeks. Memories? Your eyes widen comically, and Hobie chuckles, his eyes unsticking from the piercing to your own wide eyes. "Oh? I didn't mention that this was my starter?" He states noncommittally, as if it were the most causal thing ever. You had known Hobie had his tongue pierced, it was common knowledge, like when he stuck out his tongue in sassy retort during fond arguments, when he made up for those exact arguments..

But this was unexpected on an entire new level. You had his first ever tongue piercing jewelery in your mouth, likely from years ago. You can hardly contain your hands from gripping Hobies shirt tighter, butterflies rushing to life in your belly at the thrilling revelation. Hobie can't help but smile wider at your clearly affected reaction, keeping his hands on your cheeks. "If I didn't know any better, you like that idea.. don't you, duck?" He coos with just the right amount of condescension. His hands going to rest from your cheeks to beside your legs on the counter you're sitting on, eyes half lidded as he memorizes your no doubt flustered face, cheeks aflame and still dumbly sticking out your tongue for him to admire.

You nod, still at a loss for words but bring your tongue back into your mouth, the pain is a dull after thought by the way Hobie is looking at you as if you had given him an perfectly wrapped present has you trying to lean closer to connect your lips to his but he quickly evades it by moving his head beside your ear, clicking his tongue again in disapproval.

"Uh-uh, no kissing for three weeks till it heals." He reminds you so quietly into your ear and you feel blood rushing into your hear at his voice so close, so sweetly, but you sink back in disappointment at the mention, new piercing means no kissing after all.

Hobie must sense your disappointment as he gently knocks his head into yours, your disappointing thoughts pushed away as he gathers your full attention, suggesting something even more tempting into your ear. "I never said we couldn't do anything else." He says, nuzzling his head down to your neck, pressing soft kisses and nips to the flesh of your neck. "Just keep those pretty lips to yourself, yeah?"

Hot Damn

A simple bet is how your night started.

A simple, yet incredibly irritating bet. Hobie's best mate, Jensen, had opened his fat mouth, likely running on more than enough liquid courage then the amount both Hobie and you had drank in the few hours you've been at the bar.

"I'd bet that you two love birds can't manage to not touch each other by midnight." Jensen bets, his open beer nearly sloushes over the table as he gestures to Hobie's arm drapped over your shoulder, you roll your eyes but you can just feel Hobie's gears moving in his head at the taunt from Jensen.

"Oh? And what are you betting?" Hobie hums, eyeing Jensen over the rim of his own drink, quirking an intrigued eyebrow at his best friend, rubbing his hand up and down soothingly where it rests on your upper arm. Jensen shrugs, before his eyes brighten, likely with an not so good idea you presume. "How about this, you guys don't touch each other until midnight and I'll shut up whenever you tell me to, and I'll even throw in a six pack." He throws in, and you see Hobie look down at you in silent question 'what do you say?' Hobies eyes communicate.

It isn't necessary an...awful idea as you expected it to be, so you nod in agreement. "Deal." You say, taking an swig of your own drink as Hobie retracts his arm from your shoulders with one last lingering touch before placing it on the table as Jensen smiles cheekily.

How hard could it be, right?

Apparently it's about as hard as walking an straight line when you're pissed drunk.

You stew in your irritation, occupying yourself at peeling away the already ripped leather of the booth seat you're sitting on, flickering your gaze to watch Jensen and Hobie playing pool across the room. You think you're the only one suffering from the no touching bet, until you notice the small longing glances Hobie sends you way whenever Jensen turns to line up his pool cue, his eyes lingering on your form as his lips frown in an sympathetic gesture.

You sigh quietly, stopping your picking distraction of the poor leather seat to take another swig of your drink, nearly choking when you hear an familiar voice call out to you, "Hey! I didn't know you came here. What a coincidence." The voice laughs and you turn in your seat, eyes widening in confirmation. It's Jeremiah, your most recent ex. Walking right up to your table.

You clear your throat as you muster an tight fake smile, absolutely caught off guard from seeing Jeremiah after months of not running into him, debating if it were truly an coincidence.

"Jeremiah! What a...pleasure, I didn't expect to see you here either." You laugh, although it's tinged with nervousness as you push down the disbelief you're feeling. You glance over at Hobie, expecting him to be unbothered playing with Jensen still, freezing up slightly when you're met with Hobie's unimpressed pointed look at Jeremiah, looking him up and down, before his gaze meets yours, with an much softer look although it's still cautious.

You nod, reassuring Hobie from across the room that you've got this. Hobies shoulders lose a bit of their tension, his grip on his own pool cue loosening as he nods back, giving his own reassuring small smile before turning his back to return to playing with Jensen. Hobie knows you can fight your own battles although that doesn't stop him from glancing at you out of the corner of his eye every now and then.

Jeremiah settles himself across the booth from you, his eyes taking you in as If it's the last time he would ever see you. "Well, you certainly have changed, haven't you?" He hums, leaning his hand on the table top. You give an small shrug, "Yeah, that's kinda what happens when you don't see each other for months." You murmur, looking at Jeremiah with unimpressed eyes. Your split with him wasn't necessarily messy or emotional, he just claimed to have lost feelings and you both parted your own ways.

Jeremiah chuckles a hint bashfully, "I suppose you have a good point." He smiles slightly, his eyes drifting down to where your hand rests on the tabletop, his hand beginning to move not so subtly towards yours.

"I was thinking we could-" Jeremiah is cut off by an quick flash of color, an arm placed right between Jeremiah's hand trying to meet yours, slamming against the table "So sorry." Hobie's unapologetic voice says, his hand pulling back with one of his many rings in the palm. "Forgot my ring." He smiles unrepentantly although the smile doesn't reach his eyes as he places the ring back on his index finger. You're sure there weren't any of his rings on the table when he left..

"Oh dear, don't tell me I'm interrupting." Hobie says as he slides into the booth seat beside you, his tone filled with sarcasm, he seemed hell bent on letting this poser on knowing he wasn't welcomed as he glares expectantly at the man across from him.

Jeremiah practically flinches back in his seat, his hands moving up in an placating defensive motion. "I didn't know she was with someone, I'm so sorry mate." He apologizes, and you can practically feel how wound tight Hobie is as his leg bounces slightly beneath the table with adrenaline.

"Sorry? Nah, nah, you're not sorry but if you're not out of this booth by the time my girl blinks, you will be." Hobie's voice drops into an unfriendly blunt tone, Jeremiah staggers to his feet, taking no chances, you're half tempted to blink just to see what Hobie had planned for him.

Hobie lets out an chuckle, watching Jeremiah retreat to the other side of the bar with such quick feet you'd think his feet were on fire. Hobie leans back in his seat beside you, his arm twitching as he begins to drape it over your shoulder, just barely remembering the bet as his arm hovers, adjusting it to lay over the back of the booth with an irritated huff. "This bet is going to be the proper death of me." He murmurs beside you, and you sigh, nodding in agreement, resisting the urge to cuddle up against him as you normally do whenever in reaching distance of him.

"How much longer do we have?" You ask, bringing your drink back to your lips to take the last swallow of the refreshing liquid. Hobie leans his head back, squinting his eyes as he reads the clock hanging above the entrance of the bar. "Thirty more minutes." He groans softly, you groan along with him at the news. "This sucks." You murmur, rubbing your hands over your face.

Hobie hums in agreement, his eyes drifting over to where Jeremiah is ordering an drink at the bar. "Especially with that bloody poser.." he rolls his eyes, his fingers twitching momentarily as he moves to brush an lock of hair out of your face before pulling back with barely restrained frustration, it doesn't help when Jensen comes by with a tray full of drinks, sitting down across the booth.

"I got the drinks!" He says with such drunken cheerfulness it makes your teeth grit not to mention Jensen being both Hobie and yours reason for being irritated, "Oh, fuck off Jensen." You and Hobie say in unison. Jensen just sighs, used to this treatment, "Why does everyone hate the guy who brings the drinks?" He murmurs.

Thankfully about twenty five minutes goes by swiftly, partly due to the nice liquid distractions in front of you. Hobie seems to still be tense, gripping his drink tightly as he drinks at it, his attention seeming elsewhere while his foot taps against the ground beneath the table, you're more interested in listening to Jensen yap on about his girl troubles, using that as another welcome distraction than losing the bet and accidentally touching Hobie out of pure instinct, although your distraction excuses himself to the restroom leaving you wanting for more juicy girl drama.

The clock on the wall begins to ding, indicating it's midnight, you don't even have an moment to think before you're hoisted from your seat beside Hobie and into his lap and spun around to face him as something hard presses into your inner thigh. "Alright, if any of you don't want a show, get out!" Hobie announces to the bar, before his head ducks into the crook of your neck, pressing hot open mouthed kisses and nips to the sensitive flesh there, your protests getting caught in your throat.

There aren't many patrons in the bar, thankfully, but the ones that are there begin to already shuffle out, even the bartender decides to fuck off, merely telling Hobie to lock the door behind him once we're done. Jeremiah is seen gawking at the bar, rooted in place. Hobie turns his head to face him still nuzzles into your neck, sneering slightly. "You had your chance, mate. She's all mine now." And to prove his point Hobies large hand comes down to your ass, squeezing and fondling you through the fabric of your jeans, making you squeal slightly as he rocks you against his erection in his jeans, the friction hitting against your clit just right.

"Be a good lap dog n' scram." Hobie huffs, one of his hands moving to shuffle your shift up, pushing past your bra to suckle at one perky nipple, you can't help but melt into his touch after so long of being restricted from him, wrapping one of your hands into his wicks to push him further into your chest in encouragement, you don't even notice Jeremiah rushing out with an small barely noticable limp, he's going to be nursing his own excitement all by himself it seems.

Hobie continues to lavish that one nipple before pulling back to give an similar treatment to the other, swirling his talented tongue around the sensitive nub. You whine impatiently, grinding your core against his erection through his pants, he grunts at the friction, moving back to look at you with blown pupils, his hips rising upwards to meet your needy movements.

"Tell me who you belong to, lovey." he huffs, his head burrowing back into your neck, biting and suckling purpling love marks. Your back arches as he finds your sensitive spot on your neck with familiar expertise, "Mmfh- I'm all yours, only yours." You reassure him softly, your hand still gripping gently into his wicks.

Hobie groans against your neck before he pulls back, "That'll do it." He nods, lifting you out of his lap to stand before quickly hopping out of his seat, unbuttoning and pushing past the confines of his pants while you do the same, once both barriers are out of the way, he gently but firmly bends you over the tabletop, giving your ass an quick appreciative smack, rubbing it when you turn your head to glare at him half heartily. "You missed my touch didn't you, sweetheart?" He hums, nudging his length to your wet entrance, coating the tip of his dick in your arousal, even in his own need he never fails to tease you at least once. You nod with an whine, trying to roll your hips back onto him, even widening your legs to further entice. "Of course I did! Please just fuck me." You huff with an hint of desperation, trying to look back and see if Hobie at least looks like he'll be merciful and fuck you properly.

Hobie chuckles, one hand moving to wrap gently around your throat as he leans over your back, "So impatient, be a good girl n' take it." He murmurs against the shell of your ear you don't have a moment to call him a hypocrite before his hips move forward, his cock sliding in with barely any resistance from your wet walls welcoming him inside, the both of your groan in bliss as the wonderful feeling of being connected.

"That's it baby, so good f'me." Hobie groans, beginning to thrust into you, pulling almost all the way back until sinking back in with deep strokes, finding an rhythm quickly, you can't help but whimper beneath him, your hands in front of your to steady yourself from his deep thrusts. His grip on your throat remain gentle and sweet, his thumb stroking softly at the marked flesh of your neck.

"O-only for ah~ you." You choke out, barely heard over the sound of wet skin on skin, and Hobies heavy breaths and groans. His dick twitches inside of you, his head goes into the back of your neck as his thrusts falter for just a moment. "G-goddamn.." he curses, "Sweetheart, if you keep saying stuff like that I won't last fer' much longer..." He pants against your neck, the hand not on your throat holds your hip steady, as he pounds into you.

Your walls flutter around him, as the coil in your belly tightens in arousal as his words hit a certain chord in you. You practically purr as your hands turn white on the grip on the edge of the table, you know it isn't a good idea but fuck it, you're already here. "Not gonna fuck, a-ah~ me proper?" You tease through your moans, and that seems to be Hobies final straw, he growls before the hand on your hip drifts to your inner thigh, lifting it up before he thrusts up into you, way deeper because of the new position. "This 'proper' enough for you?" He huffs into your ear his accent thickening, not waiting for a response as he thrusts up into you like his life depended on it, his hand moving further, moving your thigh onto his forearm while he begins to apply just the amount of pressure to your clit the way you like it.

You yelp, your hips bucking at the sudden stimulation and your orgasm practically crashes down on you, Hobies name getting caught in your throat. Hobie hisses at your walls clamping down on him, his own orgasm ripping through him as hot thick ropes of cum flood your velvet walls, you both cry out together as you share your climaxes, Hobie softly fucks you through it, prolonging your pleasure, murmuring soft praises into your ear and for a moment, you're both panting and basking in the afterglow until an door is heard creaking open.

"Hey, where did everyone go?" Jensens clueless voice chimes, Hobie and you look over just in time to see Jensen return to the main area of the bar, his eyes widening comically at the sight of Hobie leaning over you and his hand still gripping your inner thigh, your lower half practically on display.

"Hot damn.."

"Fuck off, Jensen." You and Hobie groan in unison.

Hobie Brown Turn Ons Headcanons!

Pulling him towards you, he's tall and he knows it, so when he gets pulled down to your height for a moment his mind genuinely goes blank, but if you pull him in by his choker? Have fun pulling him off of you.

Wearing an article of his clothing, he can't help but admire your figure, the curves and dips of how you make his shirt or jacket look. He also can't help but scoot closer, his hands drifting beneath the fabric as he stands behind you, his hands trailing higher and higher..."You look delectable, babe, mind if I have a taste?" He would ask, but he's already spinning you around and on his knees, spreading your legs.

Begging. Hobie loves to hear you beg, it doesn't matter if it already started in bed or if you're asking him sweetly to get you the cookies from utop an high shelf in the pantry, he's teasing you. "Say it again, and I might.." he would say with an small cheeky grin.

Play wrestling with his partner, yeah, sure, he does it with his friends but with his partner it's a whole different level of intimacy. Say you and him are play wrestling over the remote, and finally Hobie has got you pinned beneath him with your hands above your head with the remote gripped tightly in your hand, panting slightly. He would huff a bit, leaning in to kiss you keeping your hands above your head. "Fuck the remote-" let's just say it would escalate very quickly to you being beneath him panting for an entirely different reason.

Hobie Brown as a Lover Headcanons!

Hobie Brown as an lover would be an whirlwind, there's no denying it.

He could go from passionate and rough to slow and sensual the next moment. "Come on darlin' a little bit more, mmfh- good girl~" to "You like it rough, oh yes you do, such a good little slut f'me, aren't you?"

He is devoted to your pleasure, ensuring that no matter where or what is happening that you feel the best you can be. "You feeling good, sweetheart?...good, good."

This man lives for quickies, the thrill, the adrenaline rush from possibly being caught is just too good a temptation for him to resist. He would pull you into the back stage room of his band's hangout, and settles you on top of one of the folding tables they have lying about, and absolutely pounds you. If you complain about possibly breaking the table mid passionate moment, he would huff an laugh, "I'll buy the bloody thing if it breaks, who gives a shit?" He would shut you up with kisses the next moment, maybe even thrusting into you a bit faster to make your mouth a bit occupied with moaning his name.

He eats pussy like no ones business, he has had previous partners and he has learned plenty. He would first learn your preferences, what you prefer and what you love. He would let your hand reach down and grip onto his wicks, and he absolutely loves it when you get lost in the pleasure he's giving you and pulls on his wicks. "Ooh! Tug a bit harder, love.." he would encourage huskily against your wet folds, flicking his tongue just a bit faster to make your legs tremble under his enamored gaze, his hands firmly keeping your hips in place, often rubbing reassuring small circles into the flesh.

Hobie has an high sex drive, often times it will result in morning sex more often than not, he would roll over and tug you gently into his arms, pressing his hard length in his boxers against your thigh or against your backside, grinding slightly. His hands would trail up and down your sides as he whispers sweet nothing's into your ear. "Please, baby? I'll make you feel so good, promise..." He would whisper, and within the next moment he's in between your legs, rolling his length into you almost lazily. "Such a greedy cunt, hm?" He would tease softly, nuzzling his nose into your neck as he fucks you slow.

Love bites, he absolutely loves them. Loves to receive them and give them, if you bruise easily he would be tickled pink at the sight of your neck obliterated with bites and hickeys, if you would get a bit angry at him he would come up behind you in the mirror as you think about how to cover them up, Hobie would lean his head down on your shoulder, his eyes focused on the marks in the mirror on your neck, practically oozing pride and affection. "Hmm...s'not that bad, you wanna make me match?" He would cackle and dodge from your swatting hands.

His favorite positions would probably be with you on his lap or mating press, against any surface really. he just loves being able to see your face scrunched up in pleasure, especially if it were a situation where you had to stay quiet. His hand gripping onto your hip as he fucks into you, with one arm above your head to brace himself and fuck into you just a bit harder as you bite onto your lip to stay quiet. He would smirk, leaning close into your ear as he tugs your leg up higher onto his hip, angling himself to hit all the right spots he knows drive you crazy. "C'mon, lovey, you don't want them to hear, do you?" He would coo mockingly into your ear.

can you make another hc of hobie as a brother?? mainly an older brother 🤗

of course!

Hobie Brown as an Older Brother headcanon!

-He is very affectionate, but in an almost annoying way, his love languages are acts of service and touch, for sure so you can expect to get squeezed into an hug whenever you're in reaching distance, but, if you're too tired, he might just help you into bed and untie your shoes for you. (Because he's a sweetie pie-)

-noggies, all day, everday. It doesn't matter if you just woke up, or if you're getting ready for the day, you're getting put into an headlock and noggied. "What? Am I not allowed to show my lil bro/sis that they're loved?" He would say, with an dopey grin on his face as he releases you.

-He knows his sibling very well, if you came home a bit upset that the test you studied for a week for came back as 'F' or something, Hobie, already knowing he looked over your work and knows that the grade is absolutely false and that you deserve a better mark, he would tug you along to the teachers house in the dead of night, to toilet paper and egg the hell out of their house as well as sending an personal note to the teacher to kindly recheck your work. Safe to say, your grade was fixed the next day.

-If you're shorter than him, he is always using you to lean on, not necessarily putting all of his body weight on you but definitely letting you know that he's beside you or using you as an armrest, he often comes up behind you and just places his head up on your own, looking down at what you're doing with mild interest.

-I feel like if it was just you and Hobie growing up, he used to do your hair all the time while growing up, so, if he sees someone else try to do your hair he's glowering at them and their work. "You're not doin' it right, move." He would huff, before coming behind you and undoing the person's braids/hair ties/ twists/etc in your hair and do the style you asked for much more efficiently himself, having done your hair many times when you were smaller. "See? I didn't forget how you like your hair." He would tease.

-Hobie is the type to wait until his younger siblings eats first, before digging into his own food, always ensuring that they have enough food for seconds if they'd like. He has a fast metabolism so he goes through lots of food but, his little sibling comes first even if they don't realize it.

Heatwave Romance

Right now, in the corner of your mind, you can hear your parents nostalgic and irritable words of wisdom. 'dont take things for granted' or 'eat your vegetables' and all that nonsense. But, mostly the 'dont take things for granted' part is echoing in your skull as you lay strewn about on the couch of your apartment, absolutely miserable in the sweltering heat.

Of all the days, your air conditioning had went out during Camden's annual heatwave, just your luck right? What makes it better is that your apartment is under going some construction in the lower levels, so the water has been turned off for the rest of the evening, so, no cold shower for you either! How....wonderful.

You groan, debating on moving to get up to see if there's any cooler room to be in instead of laying about on the couch, sweat beading off your skin each time you move too much. You decide to stay there for a moment longer in some desperate hope it will just get colder rather than having to actually make the effort to get up and move. You don't even lift your head when your window leading to your fire escape opens with an small 'click!', already knowing it's your best friend, Hobie Brown.

"Whew, not any better here is it, luv?" Hobie's voice is heard, and you finally lift your head to glare at Hobie for his obvious answer. "No, it's not." You murmur, slightly annoyed that your misery has company but also a bit relieved that you have someone to complain about the heat to.

Hobie hums in acknowledgement, not bothered by the irritated response you gave him. He closes the window back down with an small shove of his hand before crossing the living room, tapping your legs in silent request to move, and you oblige lifting your legs up, although when he plops down beside you on the couch, you just place your feet right onto his lap and he rolls his eyes briefly but makes no effort to shove you off, opting to slide his mask off and shove it into his pocket.

"Why don't you jus take a cold shower?" He asks, looking at you with an glint of amusement in his eyes, and the glare you give him only makes him snicker, "They shut off the buildings water, they're doing repairs or something so I can't shower, even if I wanted to." You huff, Hobie nods, clicking his tongue. "That does indeed cause a problem.."

There's an pause after you grumble in agreement, Hobie has an slightly thoughtful expression on his face, before patting your legs and you lift them instinctively at his silent request, he stands and shrugs. "Why don't you jus' come to my place, n cool down a bit?" He offers, and you can't help but perk up at that, sitting up. "Seriously? That would be awesome." You smile, Hobie smiles back at you as he nods, "Yeah, course."

You're already on your feet to dress properly, and by properly something that isn't an pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. You rush into your bedroom, changing into something more suitable before walking out to see Hobie, knelt down and inspecting your broken conditioning with an focused glare. He looks at you and gestures to the air conditioning with an baffled look on his face. "What did you do to the poor thing?" He laughs in slight disbelief, standing up.

You shrug, "It just went out on me, what do you mean what did I do to it?" You scoff, eyebrows furrowing as you look at him in equal bafflement. Hobie gives you an even further confused look but shakes his head with an smile, "Just forget I said anythin', you ready to go?" He asks, already walking over towards the window he had entered through, opening it, then pulling his mask from his pocket and over his face.

You nod, following him through the window and stand on the fire escape, wiping your forehead as the heat blasts you further with being outside. Hobie then kneels down, facing away from you. "Your chariot, m'lady." He teases, and you roll your eyes playfully. "You have too many miles on you to be considered a chariot, Hobie." You laugh at your own joke and Hobie scoffs playfully back as you settle yourself on his back piggy back style, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

"How dare you say something so accurate.." he laughs, one of his hands coming to grip onto your calf as you tighten your grip around his shoulders in preparation for what comes next, as well as fighting off the small flare of butterflies you feel in the pit of your stomach. "Hold tight!" Hobie shouts before jumping off of the fire escape, slinging out his webs to begin the short trek to his place on the other side of town.

It's hard to stifle the squeal that comes from your throat as you feel the wind rush past your hair and battering slightly against your face. Hobie chuckles, squeezing your calf in reassurance although there's a hint of genuine concern in the action. "Doin' alright back there, luv?" He calls out loudly to be heard over the rushing wind, you manage to wheeze out an quick, "Never better!" Moving your head to burrow slightly into the back of his neck, hoping to god he doesn't feel the heat of your blush on your cheeks. Hobie snorts at your reply, "We'll be there before you know it, promise." His slightly teasing tone turns to one of tender promise, and your cheeks practically grow hotter from his words, nodding and focusing on trying to get the blush under wraps.

It doesn't take long to get to Hobies place across town, it's a simple house boat but Hobie says any other place would just be wrong to live in as he's been there so long. Hobie swings one final web out, landing right before the door of the house boat. Hobie kneels down and releases his light grip on your leg and you carefully hop down. Hobie stands, brushing himself off before pushing the door open.

"You really should start locking your door." You huff as you walk in behind him, already feeling the cool air and atmosphere of the houseboat refreshing your attitude and body. Hobie merely shrugs, "Yeah, probably." He murmurs in nonchalance at your advice, walking further inside the houseboat and right up to his hammock bed that he swears is the most comfortable for his back, before practically falling down onto it, stretching like a cat that just woke up from an really good nap. You walk over to the couch you always sit at when you come to his house, peeling at the clearly overloved fabric of the couch out of habit. You sigh, leaning your head back as you relax, just basking in the feeling of being cold after so many hours of being stuck hot and miserable in your apartment, closing your eyes in contentment.

"You look quite cozy over there." Hobie is heard saying from his hammock bed across the room and you nod, shuffling to allow your hands behind your head. "Yeah, I am-" you stop speaking as you hear the sounds of floorboards creaking, barely having time to look to see where Hobie could possibly be going before an weight is placed on your lap, and when you look down, you're met with the sight of Hobie smiling up at you, quite smugly.

"What are you doing?" You ask, just staring at him. Hobie shrugs, even nuzzling a bit further into your lap. "You looked rather comfortable, thought I'd join is all." He hums, closing his eyes. The position doesn't...look comfortable, for Hobie at least. His head is placed in your lap, his hands clasped together loosely over his abdomen while...his legs are sticking out over the armrest of the couch, being so tall and lanky he isn't as 'compact' as he calls you and other people shorter than him.

"You don't look comfortable." You state bluntly, Hobie peeks an eye open at you, "Do you want me to move?" He asks, you furrow your eyebrows at the question, shaking your head beginning to speak again. "But-" "Then, yes, I'm comfortable." Is all he says before closing his opened eye, looking incredibly peaceful despite the uncomfortable looking position he's in.

You shrug, deciding not to push. Knowing Hobie can be most comfortable in the most weirdest of positions. You can't help but yawn slightly seeing Hobie so relaxed. "We should nap." You suggest, already closing your eyes tiredly. Hobie murmurs an slight incoherent reply, "Way a head of you luv.." before turning his body to the side, one hand laying lazily against the couch while the other makes itself comfortable underneath the crook of one of your knees, already snoring.

You instantly feel all sleepiness drain from your body at the soft touch, opening your eyes to peer down at Hobie sleeping so soundly. You smile slightly, adjusting your position slightly to allow Hobie a bit more room on the couch.

'I am so in love with you...I'm screwed .' you think as he twitches slightly in his sleep, murmuring something about having to fix your air conditioning...then to leaving the toaster running at Pavitr's?

Yandere Hobie Headcanons

-Hobie never was one for labels but upon meeting you, an new addition to spider society, he was instantly smitten. He couldn't help but gravitate towards you, seeking you out whenever he returned from missions, striking up conversation whenever possible, even if just for a moment. He denies the fluttering butterflies in his stomach each time he gets a glance at you or hears your name.

-Whenever Miguel would speak to you for mission details, he couldn't help but clench and unclench his hands in his vest, barely swallowing the lump in his throat, an uncomfortable pit rising in his stomach, one he hadn't felt in a long time. 'jealously', he recalls the name of the feeling, it's ridiculous isnt it? He's jealous over you, beautiful and intelligent you talking to such an unworthy asshole like Miguel, that just wouldn't do, would it?

-His jealousy grows tenfold when you start to make other friends in the spider society, he follows you around, glaring at anyone who even gives blinks in your direction, Hobie may or may not lead you places in effort to keep you away from others, his hand on your shoulder. "Aren't you starved after that mission, luv? I know the best burger joint ever-" it's all for the best if you stick with him, after all.

-Hobie has an irritated look on his face when you get an hug from Gwen, or an fist bump with Pavtir, but on the inside, he's absolutely enraged. He then decided to up the interceptions for other spiders to interact with you at all, and you just assume it's Hobie being friendly Hobie right? No harm done, he's just...checking on you 24/7.

-Hobie practically spirals out when you get hurt on a mission, be it an sprain or a bruise, he's absolutely worried out of his mind, self loathing thoughts screaming at him for letting this happen to you. He applies ointment, checks bandages, and offers pain medication at every turn, if he was protective before, oh boy is this man never leaving your side. When Hobie is assured you're safe and asleep in your respective dimension, he types in the coordinates to whatever dimension you had been send on for the mission, tracking down the person who had injured you with terrifying precision, and ensures that they die in a way that doesn't ring any alarm bells for Miguel and the other spiders, should they find out.

-Hobie would creep carefully inside your bedroom, having gained your trust and became quick friends, he would let his fingers trail over your clothing in your closet, relishing in how your room smells like you, if you were asleep in the room, he would just kneel beside your bed, his eyes taking in every feature of your face with the softest of looks, his fingers would twitch, wanting to risk a brief hand running through your hair but he would remind himself 'not yet, not yet'.

Hobie Brown dating someone who dresses up Lolita? :3

Hobie Brown with a S/O who dresses up Lolita Headcanon!

-I feel like he would just love every outfit that you would put on, he's living for when he gets a text that you got a new outfit. "No way, fashion show when I get home??"

-If you possibly make your own accessories and dresses, he would keep an eye out for any fabrics you might like, he'll swing by the local fabric store weekly if he has the time. (He knows a guy who knows a guy who lets him take fabric free of charge)

-Hobie would probably really inspired from your clothes, adding the scrapped patches from your projects to his own clothes. "Don't I look pretty too, eh?"

-If you dressed in something Hobie really likes, have a fun time trying to keep this man off of you. "But darling, you look so adorable~" he would coo, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, looking at you with nothing less than absolutely affection.

Can we appreciate Hobie possibly not knowing all American lingo and mistakes Sloppy Joes as an Sex Reference?

Gwen: Hey, Miles! I'm feeling like I could go for a sloppy joe, how about you?

Hobie: *squints at Gwen*

Miles: I mean, yeah but they're so messy and I still have stains on my shirt from the last one-

Hobie: *chokes on saliva*

Miles and Gwen turn to Hobie:

Miles: Dude- do you want one or something?

Hobie: *Stares at them in baffled British* The fuck is an sloppy joe?????

I really love your blog! I love reading your headcannons. :3

What about Hobie Brown dating someone who’s into Kpop? :0

(So sorry! I haven't checked my messages in a minute, thank you for the request!)

Hobie Brown with an S/O who into Kpop!

-He will listen to you rant about your new favorite song with ease, nodding along with interest knowing full well he has felt that rush of finding a new favorite, even if he may or may not be into the genre himself, he'll listen entirely content and patiently.

-If you have a favorite of a certain band, he will tease you softly everytime they show up on the television or your social media. "Oi, luv. Look, it's your girlfriend/boyfriend~" he would tease, not bothered by the fact you might have an interest in a certain person of a group.

-If you tried to get him into some of your favorite groups music, he might give it a few listens, complimenting what he likes, but, ultimately his heart probably belongs to punk rock, but...if you see him nodding his head along to your favorite bands new song, he'll avidly deny it. "Pshh, nahhh, you're imaginin' things."

-He won't be bothered if he comes back to you rewatching some movies or other series that involves your favorite group, merely cozying himself up beside you, grabbing an handful of popcorn. "Is this the one where he cheats on her? He looks punchable.."

Hobie Brown Quirks Headcanons

-Do not bend down in front of this man if you're either his partner or very close friends, he is smacking your ass, regardless of where you are, without shame. When you turn around to scold him, he has an carefree grin on his face, hands up in mock innocnce. "I 'ave not a Scooby Doo what you're talkin' bout."

-He will curse out inanimate objects. Stubs his toe on the way out of his place on a loose floorboard? He's cussing it out, he accidentally gets wacked in the head by a branch? he's flipping it off. His reasoning is, "I ain't about discrimination, everything can be cursed out."

-I don't necessarily see Hobie being a messy person, being punk doesn't equal having an messy lifestyle, however he will have his days where he wakes up, with an ungodly need to clean. he's tying his hair up, and has an armload of cleaning supplies, and just cleans top to bottom. I just see him having a blast cleaning with his favorite playlist in the background bumping, nodding his head along to the beat as he sweeps.

-Pins. Pins and stickers everywhere. His mirror has the edges covered in stickers, with a bit of spray paint edging the rim as well, the back of his door? Covered completely, stickers overlapping from different shows he might have been out to completely random ones. He for sure has multiple pins that's "Kindly Introduce the Rich to my Fist" related. He sees a bucket full of stickers at local businesses? He passes by a few times a week to scope out which ones he doesn't have.

A Right Fool Indeed

Hobie tries his damnedest to keep you content and loved, always ensuring that you have little trinkets from him and that you know that you're loved with written reminders placed around the flat, however he can't always keep his promises of attending date nights time and time again due to something going haywire in the spider society, so, naturally on the fourth attempt of date night with Hobie being an no show, you give him the dreaded silent treatment.

Hobie enters through your shared flat door, in well consideration of your "no dimensional warping or teleporting in the house" rule you've set in place after too many incidents of being crashed into or something breaking due to his fashionable arrival and exits. He is also well prepared to suck up for missing yet another date night, having stopped along your favorite park to gather some flowers, gripping them carefully in his right hand.

He rolls his shoulders, calling out to you that he's home as he shuts the door behind him. he slugs off his vest, placing it on the coat rack to the side of the entryway before making his way further inside, searching for you. "Babe? Are you home?" He calls out once more, looking around in mild confusion, you usually would inform him if you left the apartment before he came back from an mission.

He keeps looking around, his face growing more and more confused each time as he turns up empty handed. That is, until he reaches the bedroom, opening the door with a soft creek of the old wood, Hobie's eyes finally land upon you, laying on your belly as you read a book. He brightens, walking further to kneel in front of you on the bed.

"Hello my little trouble n strife, I was looking for you." He smiles, his handful of flowers coming up to offer them to you, right beside your book as he peers down at it. "Now, I know, I've missed another date night and I truly am sorry, honest." He rambles meaningfully, "I nicked you some flowers from McAllen Park, the one where the little daises and daffodils are, plucked some just as an peace offering-" He looks up, and pauses, you...you haven't even looked up at him, matter of fact, you haven't spoke his ear off as he expected when he came within your view.

Hobie gives a small nervous chuckle, bringing his hand to wave out in front of your face, trying to figure out if you're truly that invested in your book. You merely blink, your eyes moving to side to side as you read each word with almost chilling nonchalance. Hobie only stares at you, his confusion growing each second longer than you read, not greeting him or anything.

Slowly, realization sinks in as you continue to ignore him. 'fuuuuck me' he thinks in his head, he leans closer, and lets his head fall upon the covers of the mattress in front of your book, as well as the flowers and groans. "Sweetheaaaart, are you that angry with me?" His muffled voice murmurs through the fabric of the mattress. You, as stubborn as ever, remain silent and keep your focus on your book.

Hobie looks up from having buried his head in the mattress to gauge if you're looking at him, or, at the very least not reading anymore, he only pouts slightly as he realizes his sweet partner wouldn't be his sweet partner without being as equally if not more stubborn than him.

Hobie places his hands in a begging motion on top of the bed, looking up at you with the most pitiful expression he can manage. "I know, darlin' I have no right to expect your forgiveness, it isn't fair to you that I can't attend the dates we plan and it breaks my heart that I can't be on time, or there at all. I'm a right fool-" that seems to catch your attention, as you close your book with a small thump, finally looking up at him and nod, with a matter of fact look on your face.

Hobie pauses, before repeating the phrase that got your attention, "I'm a right fool?" He questions, and at that you merely nod and smile satisfied with his conclusion, sitting up on the bed and walking out of the room, taking your book with you but you don't acknowledge Hobie other than that. Hobie stands, turning around to watch you leave with a befuddled look on his handsome features.

"Well, I'll be damned." He breathes, realizing the pure amount of effort and time he will have to put into getting you to speak with him again, he smiles and shakes his head. "That's my love, stubborn as a damn mule." He murmurs before walking out behind you, already thinking of ideas to break your silence.

Hobie Brown things he does for his partner Headcanon!

-Hobie is all over spending time with his partner, so, he'll consider most things he does with you as dates or he'll take preparation in doing something romantic but Hobie style. Say you're walking to the shops and you're eyeing a pastry in passing by? You and him are making said pastry at home in bulk later that evening, you point out an empty wall in the distance that would look so cool if it matched the other graffiti around it? You'll awake the next morning to that area graffiti-ed with your and Hobies initials hidden among the spray paint.

-Cuddles. He's extra touchy with his friends you think his partner isn't going to get any of the love? Heck nah, he's all over them. He doesn't really care for "indecent exposure" it's just a few kisses and cuddles in public, HOWEVER, if someone is eyeing you up with ulterior motives that changes instantly, now, he says he doesn't get jealous and he knows you're your own person and that you guys are in a loyal relationship but the other person clearly doesn't get that if they keep looking at you like that so he responds by standing behind you with a hand on your hip, or having you sit in his lap facing him. "Ah-ah-ah, no looking away we're trying to prove a point, yeah?" He'd hum into your ear, while giving the person an very indiscreet flip off behind you.

-He would be an asshole but in a loving way, if you ask him to reach for something on a top shelf or something he would say "No." But he would reach for the item and give it to you anyways. Or say you're in bed together and you want Hobie to get out of bed to retrieve an item you deem too far away, he would groan but poke your sides until you add a "please my wonderful amazing boyfriend" and then he'll get up and retrieve said item.

-Hobie might tie your shoe laces when they're untied and he notices, but, there have been plenty of times where you just haven't tied them when you aren't around him (And you've just gotten so used to Hobie doing it, you often forget to do it yourself), which leads to you tripping and getting bruises and scrapes on your knees. Hobie, ever the observant one, would notice if you were rubbing at your knees throughout the day, tugging you to sit down and giving an expectant eyebrow raised look at you that just says, 'Show me, you idget' so you do and he would lean forward, inspecting the injuries areas with gentle hands but he would click his tongue, looking up at you. "How many times 'ave I told you to tie your bleedin chucks?" He would huff as he gathers ointment and bandages, bandaging your knees with feather like touch no matter what his tone is.

-Says he isn't a giant softy when it comes to you, but he is so the type to dance with you late at night in the kitchen, brushing your hair behind your ear and giving you the softest yet most passionate kisses.

Hobie Doodle <3

Hobie Brown as a Brother Headcanon!

-Hobie as a brother would bring you to rallies and strikes, knowing you'd want to be part of the action as well, and of course he would assist you in making signs and ensuring you're in proper attire before coming along with.

-He would be protective, no matter if you're older or younger than him, especially when someone flirts with you. He would be behind you, noticing someone giving you looks and as they begin to walk over he would murmur in your ear, eyeing the person with caution, "Want em gone? I ain't above murder.."

-He would be the first person you would tell when you rip something that you own, and he would click his tongue, taking the item you ripped and inspecting it with gentle hands. "What 'ave I told you? I ain't your personal seamstress." He would huff, although he's already grabbing at his needle and thread..

-Hobie as a brother would just have a second sense for things, like if you were to get in trouble. He would slide up beside you, looking extremely amused as he nudges your side with his elbow. "So what'd you do? C'mon, tell me." He would urge until you finally give in saying how you graffiti-ed the water tower, he would clap and smile, "That's what I'm talkin' bout!"