Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
ELLIE >>>> - Blog Posts
- You are not my daughter - and I sure as hell ain’t your Dad.
I
“It’s a weird feeling to get prayers,” Dani began. She grimaced then, her face scrunching in distaste as she heard how odd that sounded. “I’m not explaining this right,” she sighed.
She was sat—was more like floating in a seated position—in front of the young heroes, bobbing slightly in the air. There was a mischievous glint in her eye as she mused on how to best word what she wanted to say; really, she could have them all lapping out of the palm of her hand with this one if she let herself really lean into it. However, as she slowly rotated in the air, turning upside down, she could see the adults hovering in her peripheral and groaned as she knew that she had to take this at least somewhat seriously; if word about this got back to one of the senior heroes, she’d hate to have to correct numerous misunderstandings.
“Ok, get comfy. This could take a while…”
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Just borrowed ipad, working on a new thing and waiting for a new episode.
I miss drawing. Hopefully I’m back.
As promised..I post something else today..)
(This one was also hard to imagine & draw.. Well..Not exactly a phone call..I guess..)
Just a video call with some friends from Emerald city😉✨
(Not actually something romantical..Sorry..I dunno why this idea poped up in my head, when I started to draw..😅)
Little reminder, event by @strawbeaniie✨
Hello there
Hey you! Im Ellie. And that’s my first entry!
Yay! Im very motivated! ...probably too motivated. But I'm just so excited right now to share all the thingies of my mind. Yeah... I don't even know what to say. I have so many ideas and things in my head, but I have no words to describe them. -That... makes no sense. Anyway, as I said, I have so many thingies on my list and if I have no idea what i could tell you, then just do what I want spontaneously. I mean - yolo! You onyl live ones, don't you? ; 3 So I'm happy to pour you the chaos of my head out and tell you what's going on in it when I don't say anything. And I can tell you - there is a lot going on! So if you feel like stopping by, you are welcome to do so. I would be happy. Oh! And one last thing - im really sorry for my bad english, so if you'll find some mistakes, please forgive me for them.
Have a great day! Ellie
Given the fact that Arthur’s made it clear that anyone who wants to date Ellie has to be able to beat him in a fight, I think it’s safe to say Ellie’s gonna stay single for a LONG time
literally me the whole episode:
shower thoughts
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ellie williams x reader
summary: a lazy shower after a slow morning with ellie leads to contemplation of your continuously budding relationship.
(implied homophobia from parents; established lovers)
a/n: not sure how i feel about this one lol ,, i might have to release something else soon to make up for how short it is
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Your hair sticks to the back of your neck and back in wet clumps. The light touch of Ellie’s lips to your skin is soothing as she kisses your shoulder, then the space between your shoulder blades, her mouth just barely grazing your skin.
It was a slow, quiet Saturday. Both of you had woken up in the early hours of the afternoon, and, after a couple more hours of burrowing under the covers like mice, decided to wash off your grogginess in the shower. It was nice, sleeping over at Ellie’s. Sure, her bedroom was always a mess, with comics strewn around the carpet and charcoal somehow smeared across her walls, but that gave it character. It was all so Ellie.
“D’you think we’d still be here even if I didn’t slip you my number at that coffee shop?” you murmur suddenly, barely audible over the sound of the showerhead.
You were feeling thoughtful as it neared half a year together as a couple. It was strange to think back on how you two had met now that you had come so far. After seeing Ellie, a then stranger, a couple of times at your favorite little coffee shop in the city, you had finally decided to bite the bullet and approach her after some hyping-up from a friend. That was back in March of last year. It was December now, and the two of you had been going steady since that summer after your first introduction.
Ellie kisses at your nape silently for a moment. You can tell that she’s pondering your question even if you can’t see her face with her standing behind you.
“Why’re we talking about this?” she asks softly, though not accusatorially. Her fingers come up from your waist to play with the stands of hair at the back of your neck, pushing the hair away from the damp skin and gingerly wrapping the strands around her fingers.
You don’t reply for a long time. You just relish in the feel of your girlfriend standing behind you in that tiny old shower, in the feel of the hot water pouring down against your front from the shower head, burning your skin deliciously.
“I almost didn’t do it,” you finally admit, letting your eyes close and dipping your face slightly so that the scalding water poured over it.
That was the truth. You almost didn’t approach Ellie that day. There were a couple hundred worries plaguing your mind as you had sat at your little table in the far corner of that coffee shop, squeezing your paper cup tight and hashing out the details of how exactly you were going to go about it. At the forefront of your thoughts were your parents and what they would think about their daughter asking out a girl.
That was a worry you had poured over quite a bit last year before you and Ellie first started talking, before she had sat down with you on your worn down couch in your own apartment that one night after you had nervously confided to her and gently told you, “Y’know you’re not obligated to tell anyone anything, right?”
Ellie knows about your struggle with your sexuality, with accepting yourself and with not worrying so much about others accepting you. With your parents and how hard it’s been not being able to be honest with them. The two of you had talked about it before, of course, lots and lots of times.
“I was really scared,” you admit, using your girlfriend’s silence as a cue to continue, “of what it would mean if I approached a girl. Of what it would mean if I approached you.”
“But you did it,” Ellie murmurs into your skin, lifting her face from your nape, “You approached me in the end.”
You nod, mostly to yourself, silent for a moment. “I did.”
Ellie kisses your skin again, nimble fingers rubbing at your naked sides as the water streams over the two of you. You swear to yourself that this is as close to serendipity as you’ve ever been — under the hot stream of the shower-head with your girlfriend, hidden away in her tiny apartment away from the rest of the world. One day, you’ll have the strength to seek out more — holding hands with her outside in front of strangers, kissing her under the rain in the city center, showing her off to your parents — but, for now, you were content.
You turn in Ellie’s arms to face her and study her face carefully, taking in every single detail of it and committing it to your memory — the freckles dotting her rosy cheeks, the scar on her right eyebrow, the slight part of her pretty lips.
“You’re so pretty,” you exhale, eyes darting without purpose as Ellie’s hands move up to brush wet clumps of hair from your cheeks, “I really like you, Ellie.”
Her thumbs rest on your cheekbones, rubbing absentmindedly at the warm skin of your face. “You’re such a dork.”
Ellie’s lashes flutter though, in that way they always do whenever she’s flustered or surprised, even if she’s trained herself to maintain a mellow expression. She swallows, throat bobbing ever so slightly. You almost miss it.
She reaches for the loofah, almost as a distraction, lathering it up in the lemon shortcake scented body wash you had brought over one night because you didn’t like smelling like pine trees. Her hand moves gingerly against your neck, loofah squeezed tight in her grip, then down your bare front. It’s strangely intimate, and you let her lather you up without saying anything, gaze trained to her face. She’s looking down at her hand as she works, but her gaze flickers upwards to meet yours after a while.
“I’m glad you approached me that day.”
Her voice is soft, almost inaudible, and you can tell that her words are genuine. They melt you, and you find yourself leaning into a subtle, barely there kiss. When you draw back, Ellie’s lashes flutter again.
“I’m glad too.”
hey besti, drop some answers to mis preguntas tanks
1. you or cloud has a nightmare, how does one comfort?
2. what video games to you make iwa play? is he willing?
3. favorite date with iwa-chan so far?
4. has dango read to help you sleep before?
5. zack takes you to the beach, what’s the schedule?
6. favorite spot that iwa-chan has taken you?
7. neuvillette takes you to another nation! where and why?
8. this can uh be a free space too.. okok have fun
hi wifey<3 i see we copied my idea of sending questions!!! teasing, i love these and being asked them makes me feel sm better<333
1. kurasora (sky means sora in japanese, this ship name sounds better imo if anybody is stalking this post):
for cloud, i’m assuming either he’s still recovering from trauma or that sephiroth has invaded his brain. i feel like he just could use some warmth so i would definitely hold him and tell him that no matter what happened, it was never his fault and that it’s okay to still have nightmares. i’d probably soothe him by making him some tea mostly or even just running my hands in his chocobo-like hair. for myself, cloud would also do similar except he lets his actions do the talking instead of his words so he’s definitely hold me tight — rather rare since it’s harder for him to show affection since he doesn’t want to get too attached but he’ll do his best in order to comfort.
2. iwasky:
hajime is RELUCTANT but he tries to play final fantasy with me cause i told him i’m in the game (he regrets it because he knew i am not). he ends up liking aerith because he sees me somewhat and he gets annoyed since i said he’s basically cloud with the way he acts (his amazon cart has the cosplay already in it). another game is smash bros but he likes that more cause then he can get payback against me, his main is cloud (he also regrets this for like 0.2 seconds but he likes his playstyle) since i get distract and ultimately, he wins. i tried to get him into genshin, honkai star rail, and fate grand order but he said no cause he doesn’t want to go broke for pixels.
3. iwasky:
my favorite date is probably our first date since he was flustered and probably went for the most casual thing he could think of, an amusement park to which he won me a giant gible plushie and he was able to protect me from my fear of heights. he did NOT pick this idea, tooru did and he hatecrimed tooru because i looked miserable on every ride to which tooru texted back, “it’s okay, you’re protect her, iwa-chan! 😋🫶✨‼️” the arcade was fun as well as the food. bonus if it’s disneyland because star wars land is the BEST.
4. skyheng:
i mean honestly, yes. dan heng and i definitely enjoy just being next to each other so i believe quality time is a great one. he probably works on the data bank while i sleep since i sleep so much and he ends up reading it out loud to me to check for grammatical mistakes but also since i’m curious about his adventures since leaving the luofu. i’m sure it was relaxing for the most part to speak about his adventures and just makes me wish to travel more so maybe one day we could take our own little adventure outside of my dreams<3
5. skyzak:
i feel like this was inspired by a certain conversation… but anyway! love this one AHAHAHAHAH! anyway zack is the type to not have an iternary because he’s just bouncing off the walls which who blames him?? ITS BEACH TIME!! but i digress, a beach day is definitely a fun day! (provided that costa del sol isn’t also giving monsters a vacation as well, ahem anyway…) but definitely he’d grab me and throw me into the water as soon as we got to the beach, he’d make sure it’s safe but he’s also SUCH a tease. though, he’d realize we forgot sun screen so he waits about 20 minutes before throwing me in again. we also would have a picnic on the beach honestly, the resort provides the food though. he’s like 23 at this point so he’s a bit more mature but still has that childish glow. i’d try to teach him beach volleyball too, he’s so bad unless he’s serving overhand LOL. overall, a fun day without the monsters as we play in the water, perhaps building sandcastles and teaching each other small things about ourselves :)
6. iwasky:
iwaizumi hajime does not neglect great date SPOTS. he definitely does just silly little things like errands but sometimes he’ll trick me and just take me on a long drive!! my favorite time that he did this is when he took me up high on a mountain and overlooked the whole city as well as all of the lights below. he claims it’s because i needed to get out of bed more but i know he’s dying to take me. what’s even better is that along that, there’s an observatory at the top of the mountain and there’s a planetarium since he knows i like the stars but all he sees is his star while he smiles brightly at how happy i am, looking down below.
7. neuvisky:
neuvillette definitely seems like the type to be mr. worldwide SOLELY FOR THAT FACT that the water is delicious. i believe he would want the journey to be as short as possible though for work… unfortunately. he and i are both glad he could make the time though. we’d definitely go to the new area that released!! he probably likes it because there’s so much water there so it’s similar to what he’s used to and cause it’s closer than the rest. it was a small date for the two of us but it’s definitely nice to see how much neuvillette knows everything and explain the difference between waters<33
8. obesky / skylusiné:
q: your trope with them & why?
oberon and i would definitely fit enemies to lovers because he would hate my guts and be all tsundere but it’d be cute. or even sunshine x grumpy cause he is such a bum and claims he almost ruled the world if it weren’t for ritsuka and co. (he’s my perfect mothman)
melusiné & i would have the “i hate everybody but her” and the “who did this???” tropes because she loves with all of her heart and sacrifices for those she loves. i don’t believe i could like anybody else if she wasn’t there to fill me with the joy that she does every time i open fgo… i know miss dragon would lose herself if somebody were to hurt me though — she gets protective and possessive easily.
hi tumblr crush hi im your simp and no. 1 fan mwah i worship you for writing such good content it is giving🤲
my writing is alright at best </3 but it’s more for people’s enjoyment and such! but hi my no 1 fan and simp, i heart you lots<333 hopefully it’ll continue to give in that case :>
You guys do get the point,right?It's a pity that such interesting characters were not shown enough
This show is pretty good, yeah?
I thought I'd share my process picture for my Last of Us poster. :) Happy New Years lads and lasses!!!
i was playing borderlands 2 and these r my lately works!<3
we got siren!zer0 and assassin!maya
and still my favourite,renaissance costume
Can you write an imagine of jealous reader, Ellie and Cat are already dating and the reader has been avoiding and ignoring Ellie because of it. Unfortunately they get assigned patrol together throughout the ride Ellie tries to get the reader to talk laugh look at her anything but nothing does the trick, a horde forces them to stay overnight in an abandoned building. Ellie confronts the reader of their current behavior but the readers is just sour and petty toward her. The next day Cat is waiting at the gate and showers Ellie with kisses and hugs, Joel & Tommy are there for her too while the reader just walks pass them alone. Yes I love angst
Summary: Reader breaks ellie's heart and ellie breaks readers, will they ever be the same again
A/N: Thank you for the request <3 I love angst so much but writing it breaks my mf heart PLZZ. Sorry if this was short :(
Warnings: Angst, heartbreak and jealousy
Word count: 1.9k
"Ellie and Y/N will take the gas station." Tommy said.
Those words made your heart drop, god fucking dammit. You could already sense Ellie's excitement, she always got excited when you guys were assigned together. As of right now you were angry with ellie but she had no idea, fucking clueless.
Ever since cat and ellie got together you couldn't look at ellie without wanting to deck her in the face. You liked cat, she had done a tattoo of yours before, but you liked ellie... so much it hurt. Ever since she came to Jackson your stomach did twist and turn at the thought of her.
You would always catch her and cat making out with each other in the back of the church at dances, kissing by the fire when y'all would sneak out, holding hands while running from hoards. All the things you wanted Ellie to do with you she did with cat, it made you sick to your stomach.
"I don't think that's going to work out!" You shouted, causing everyone to turn around and look at you.
Tommy looked up from his clipboard, giving you a surprised look. The looks you were getting made you want to sink into the floor, especially the look Ellie was giving you. She looked at you with confusion but still looked so fucking cute while doing it.
"The gas station I mean...." You tried to save yourself but you could sense you were failing miserably. "I've never done the gas station before and I would feel more comfortable doing something I've done before."
That was a lie, the gas station was probably one of the easiest places too clear but you couldn't go with ellie.... it would be torture. Some of the others in the room laughed silently knowing how easy the gas station actually was, it's not like you couldn't do it.
"Y/n, i can't c...." Tommy started but was interrupted by ellie.
"I can show her!" She blurted out, a stupid smile on her face.
You gave Ellie a death stare, almost as if she just shot a loved one in front of you. You wanted to say something but you didn't want to dig the hole deeper so you just bowed your head down and threw your bag over your shoulder.
"Okay then... it's settled." Tommy started, handing you a key to the gas station. "You guys leave tonight!"
It's only for a couple of hours, the worst that can happen is getting stuck up in a hoard and having to stay at the gas station overnight with ellie. You hoped it would go smoothly though, clear the gas station and its surroundings then get out. easy enough
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Of course the worst that could happen, happened for you. You had been ignoring Ellie ever since you left. No words were spoken on your end, just a few okay's and half ass instructions. Ellie was really trying to get you to talk to her, like everything in her power.
Ellie felt she did something wrong or you hated her for some reason, which was odd because not long ago you guys had been really close. She was getting really worried about you, you just didn't seem like yourself lately.
The assignment was going well, there weren't many infected to kill so it was super easy. That night came along and the hoard came through, but the hoard was the least of your problems at the moment. You and Ellie were trapped in a small room in the back of the gas station, door bolted shut and very little room.
It wouldn't be that bad usually, you would actually quite like it, being all trapped and cozy with ellie. That was until ellie decided to tongue fuck cat every second of every day, now it just wasn't the same.
You guys were now sitting at the small fire you had created, wrapped up in your jacket while eating a can of beans. Ellie was poking at the fire, watching as the flames danced around the wood. Ellie looked nice in the glow of the fire, enough to make your heart skip a beat but not too get out the images of you third wheeling every time cat was around.
"I'm getting tired of this weather man." Ellie spoke, putting down the stick and curling up under her own blanket.
You stayed silent, eating your beans and watching as the fire dulled a bit. You hated winter, especially when you had to go out in it. It made it harder to travel on horseback and by foot, so you were basically fucked.
Ellie let out a small sigh, you could sense the hard hitting question from a mile away. The silent treatment, all the dirty looks, the bitterness.... Ellie wanted to know what your damn problem was before she exploded.
"What's wrong?? Why are you mad at me?" She asked, causing a slight eye roll from you.
You felt stupid yes but you couldn't help it, ever since ellie got here you felt for the first time maybe there was some light in this fucked up world. You were being stupid and jealous but you really liked ellie and obviously she would go for someone like cat.
A couple seconds of complete silence went by like hours, Ellie staring you down as you tried everything not to look at her. You were afraid you would never be able to stop looking at her, you just wanted to sleep, not fight with the love of your life.
"Is this about cat? I mean ever since we started dating you've been acting like this." She spoke, her voice nothing but calm and filled with complete concern.
Even though she was being nice, her voice was silky smooth through the rough air, that was enough for you to snap. All the anger and hatred all piled up in one tiny body, a body that has been broken over and over again and this was the last time it was going to be broken.
"Jesus christ ellie!" You shouted, enough for the infected to hear. "Is everything about cat!"
Ellie was surprised she got you to talk, after not talking to her for days or even weeks it felt, the first thing out of your mouth is pure venom. Ellie did like you, that was the whole point of her wanting to talk to you but she thought you didn't like her back and the friendship you had she didn't want to ruin because she knew what happened when friends kiss friends... She learned her lesson.
Ellie's heart broke a little when you raised your voice, she never wanted to hurt you or be hurt by you. She let out a small breath before taking up the courage to look you in the eye and speak. Your anger filled up the entire small room.
"So you don't like cat?" She asked the stupidest question she could have asked at this moment.
You felt like your body was literally shaking. You were so angry, why can't she just shut up and leave you alone...something normal people would do when people ignore them for days at a time. But you forget Ellie isn't any normal girl, she's heartbroken and scared of being left alone.
The next thing that came out of your mouth was horrible, something not even Ellie deserved in this moment and you will never forget it. You balled your fist up in the sheets, holding back your tears as you let out
"Have you ever considered maybe i don't like you!" You shouted, venom flowing out of your lips.
Ellie's eyes twitched, pure sadness hit her all at once. It hurt, it really hurt Ellie more than any wound she could suffer. She felt like her heart was being crushed in a million pieces, the heartbreak she has felt many times before.
You felt bad, so bad that you yourself could cry. If it was an option to stand outside in the hoard and let them eat you alive, you would do it. Ellie didn't deserve you snapping at her, but obviously you couldn't show that. If it made it so she didn't talk to you ever again and finally left you alone to wallow in your own self pity, you would say it again even.
"Y/n i..." She started, eyes hooked on yours, not once looking away.
"I'm going to bed, we have to leave early...you should get some sleep." You interrupted, not even giving her a minute to speak.
You laid down, body turned turns the door so ellie couldn't see the tears that flowed down your face. Ellie deserved cat, they were a match made in heaven... you just couldn't be led on anymore. It's shitty yes but there's nothing you can do now.
You could hear Ellie shuffle next to you, back turned to you as well. You let out a few silent sobs, face pressed harshly against the pillow so Ellie couldn't hear you. You shouldn't have come, you should've done everything in your power not to come here.
The trip back is going to suck...
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You both woke up in the crack of dawn, gathering all of your stuff in your backpacks before opening the door to see the hoard had moved up north. You both stayed silent throughout the entire trip, not wanting to talk after last night.
Your trip went smoothly, the only sound was birds chirping and the sound of the river flowing. It was beautiful, but you didn't care, the view was ruined by the awkward silence that had aroused since last night. You hated yourself so much at the moment, you ruined your chances of ever getting close with ellie.
At the gate Ellie stopped for a minute, turning around to stop you dead in your tracks. This was the first time this morning you had looked at her face, her eyes had been puffy and your nose had been stuffed up, apparently you weren't the only one crying last night. Her eyes met yours, dried tears streaked her face.
"I don't know why you hate me but I love you Y/N and I want you to know that.... not even some petty words can ever stop me from loving you. Whatever you're going through... I hope it gets better because you don't deserve it." She stated, eyes watering as she tried to break eye contact.
Fuck you ellie... You thought, now feeling like more of a piece of shit. You hated being the one to hurt her and her still loving you even if you did basically punch her in the face with your words. You couldn't hate her either, you were madly in love with her but it hurt you too much to see her with cat. You opened your mouth to say something
"Ellie!!" A woman's voice squeaked, it was cat.
Ellie wiped her cheeks before cat jumped on her, placing her lips on Ellie's. You watched, wanting so badly to sob right there. You felt what Ellie felt last night, pure heart break. Cat jumped down from off her, giving her an award winning smile.
"I missed you so much babe!" Cat spoke, placing her hands on Ellie's cheeks.
You could see Tommy and Joel come to welcome her back, but you didn't stay for very long. You walked past them, walking into the gate before setting your stuff down. Ellie's words echoed in your head, telling you that she loved you and you just stood there dumbfounded.
You knew you would always be the girl that had hurt Ellie, she would always look at you like that but she would still love you no matter what and that in itself hurt you like crazy.
I’m gonna find, and I’m gonna kill every last one of them.
THE LAST OF US PART II 2020 | dir. Neil Druckmann
stubborn love
warnings: angst, jealousy, slow burn?
pairing: ellie williams x reader
the day you came to jackson was probably the best day of your life, you were fifteen years old and never had a real home until you became a part of this friendly community, you were on the road with your brother when you ran into tommy who offered you to come back with him to jackson.
you were a little scared and nervous to follow a complete stranger somewhere but your brother convinced you that everything was going to be fine and it was. you remember how fascinated you were with everything that jackson had to offer. you were a little anxious when you saw so many people but then you met ellie and you knew that you were going to be just fine.
Weiterlesen
giving a fictional character a little blood on their face or clothes is like seasoning it adds flavor
I can imagine people thinking I hate the game based on how incredibly critical I am of it in my essays and that couldn't be further from the truth. I love this game to pieces. It has been on my mind nearly every day since it came out, it fascinates me, inspires me and has like nothing else that has been released in the past year made me think about my own craft and skills, I have never been this productive and this thrilled about storytelling before. And if I'm being honest, I could write just as many, just as long essays gushing about certain aspects of the game, I just don't think that'd be an interesting read and/or give reason to have interesting conversations. No piece of art is perfect, so me being critical of it is not necessarily a reflection of my overall stance. Again, this game and its story mean the world to me.
Ellie + Seattle day 2 outfit
Hi there, anon last week who offered some criticism about bias/etc in response to the Joel essay. Was looking forward to your Abby essay and really wanted to be open minded but truthfully you managed to cherry pick the absolute shit out of moments in the game and ignored so many allusions/small nuances/moments that you claim aren’t in the game (Abby showing regret, etc). That take is one of the most biased takes yet that I have read about this game. Also your use of the word retarded to describe Ellie’s questionable decision making with Mel and Owen isn’t cool. If you’re capable of writing an essay like this, you’re capable of finding another word to use instead of that.
But onto the issues with some of the arguments. This is going to be long so buckle up. (I hope it sends in it’s entirety so apologies if it doesn’t). I don’t expect this to be posted, again this is just a criticism to try and point out some bias that I’m seeing coming through. I tried to stay in a linear order of examples you brought up but if I bounce around I apologize. There’s a lot of moments that you give as examples where you would seem to embellish what happened and twist it to fit the narrative that you wanted regarding Abby and her arc.
After Joel’s death, there’s references made to Abby not sleeping and we see that she’s still having nightmares about running into the operating room and finding her dad/finding Lev and Yara. If she truly felt justified in her actions and that she had gotten her revenge, why would she still be having nightmares about this subject? Perhaps she is feeling guilt and didn’t receive any closure from Joel’s death and it’s not until after she knows Yara is okay that we finally see some sort of closure where the nightmare of death turns into a dream. It could be argued that perhaps she’s found a new purpose in life after the end of a 4 year quest and that through taking care of those that saved her life, she’s been able to move on because of this. There’s also moments during the opening of her half (specifically when we see the mansion scene again but from her view) that after the final blow, there’s no relief. For one or two moments, some of her expression look like she could be contemplating the extent of her own actions. It doesn’t seem like there’s any joy or happiness there.
Next. Expecting Abby to change her view on the Seraphites in two days because of some kids she saved is highly unrealistic. She has conversations with Lev though when they’re making their way up to the sky bridge where they discuss the religion, how the prophets teachings have been skewed over time. Even learning about them, the Seraphites would try to kill her regardless. There’s no reason for her to have a change of heart because she’s met two outliers to their religion. The majority of them still are religious fanatics.
As far as expressing remorse to Ellie for what she did to Joel, Abby didn’t know of Joel’s importance to Ellie in the same way that Ellie didn’t know it was Jerry’s death that Abby sought out vengeance for, not taking away the cure (as stated by Ellie int he theatre confrontation where she states ‘I’m the one you want, there’s no cure because of me’.” This was a really interesting decision on the writers part. Personally I would loved to have seen some sort of revelations with these but I also enjoy the fact that they never know how significantly their lives impacted each other. Abby had to reason to show Ellie remorse because she simply didn’t know the connection. For all she knew, Joel and Ellie could have been a randomly paired patrol group from Jackson. Not a father-daughter like bond.
I do agree with your assessment that perhaps Isaac had something to do with her dark ways. Clearly he has no qualms with brutal tactics and seeing as Abby is consistently referred to as one of the top WLF, it’s not unrealistic to assume that he had a direct hand into grooming her violent ways. That’s not to say she didn’t have a choice, but it’s an interesting concept to explore how he could have shaped the growth of a 16 year old Abby hell bent on revenge.
Owen’s drunk provocation of Abby is an interesting scene because Abby has always relied on Owen to be by her side. To hear his unfiltered thoughts on Joel’s torture could have come as a shock to the system because he has always been straight with her and to have someone as important to her as him paint her brutal actions in such a blunt, disapproving way could have maybe felt like a slight betrayal. There’s no excuse for Owen cheating on Mel, but we see a moment of weakness and vlunerability with the two of them. Not sure why the sex scene gets bashed so much. Whereas Ellie and Dina are allowed to be intimate (granted yes not anywhere near as explicit as Abby and Owen), there seems to be no issue with the former as opposed to the latter. Sex is natural. What’s so traumatizing about the scene? Genuinely curious.
Onto arguments about Seraphite island. You call the line from Yara a throw away line (about how there’s fighting and gun fire from the other way) yet if the conflict has spilled out to where they were, why would they go back that way? Abby trusted Lev and Yara to know a way out because she wasn’t familiar with the island. Why shut down their suggestions when she knows nothing about the layout or inner workings? Regarding Isaac, I don’t think Abby all of a sudden offering to torture a Seraphite would have been an automatic get out of jail free card. Isaac wanted the fight to be over, why would he allow one soldier to take a boat to take a child away for torture? In the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t make sense. Abby could have chosen to go back to the WLF but instead, she chose her new family (Lev). To act like she was best friends with all of the WLF and this means she shouldn’t have killed them once again doesn’t feel realistic. Even Isaac makes a comment about the Salt Lake Crew and how close they are, there’s no reason to believe that she went out of her way to befriend others when she already had her group. Abby more than likely would have gone to SB with Owen and the others (pre Mel conversation) since she was already an enemy of the WLF by that point. There’s no need to call writers less talented/less creative because you didn’t like the story. Resorting to personal attacks on their abilities doesn’t help your arguments. It comes off as petty.
Onto Abby ‘dragging’ Lev to the theater. You’re more than willing to point out Lev’s traumatic experiences but not Abby’s. Lev chose to give Abby the map. He had no reason to, but instead offered it up to her. Lev isn’t stupid. In his interactions with Abby, he shows an understanding of Owen’s importance to her so it’s not out of the box for him to understand the implications of giving her a literal map to the location of the person that had killed the two of them. As for why wouldn’t they give up Abby’s location: Mel was ready to do so and was going to. We know she doesn’t like Abby, figured she was likely dead, and saw a chance to perhaps save the two of them if she gave Ellie what she wanted. Owen cares for Abby and didn’t want to risk the possibility of Ellie finding her, interrupting the conversation before Mel could give any info. Owen approaching Ellie wasn’t wise, but how is his effort to try and deescalate anything other than an attempt to protect both himself and Mel?
Next. Abby did not respond with glee to learning Dina was pregnant. I’m not sure what you think glee is, but there’s nothing happy or joyful about the way she reacted. She’s fueled by blind rage at that point and it’s already been established she’s an eye for an eye type person. Ellie had killed Mel who was pregnant (she’s wearing a coat because there’s a giant ass rainstorm. I’m not sure why her wearing a coat would be so confusing and out of character?) and Dina happening to be pregnant would be an eye for an eye in Abby’s view. Does this make it right? No. But she was not jumping for joy and oh so happy to find that out.
Not sure what the qualms are with something as small as collections cards vs coins. It’s a video game. There was a chance to add more collectibles for a trophy so why not? This seems like a detail to just pick at just because you can. Giraffe/zebra, we knew in the first game wild animals were running around. Why is it out of the box for a group LIVING in SLC to make a hobby of watching them? Again, seems nitpicky. A father/father figure teasing a child about a relationship. Isn’t this just a dad thing? Again, feels nitpicky and serves no purpose as a legitimate critique. The museum/aquarium, are people not allowed to explore and have things they’re intersted in?’ These little details you throw in serve no real purpose other than to nitpick and are basing this off an emotional response instead of trying to use logic regrding game mechanics/achievements/explanations/etc.
Im sure there’s things I’m missing or that I forgot to mention but this has become quite long. As a wrap up, it feels like you truly haven’t tried to look at the game from a neutral perspective. Perhaps you really have tried, but that doesn’t really show in your essays. It shows as still having a strong bias towards anything that isn’t complimentary of Ellie or Joel and their stories. I do enjoy reading different perspectives on the game and having discussions, but I would still find it hard to approach and have a thoughtful discussion because there seems to be no openness and the vibe that you know the story better than the writers do. That paired with insults flung at the writers makes it feel like nothing more than a spiteful rant for not living up to your expectation rather than a constructive critique. I look forward to further essays and hope that perhaps the tone can become a bit more neutral in them. Have a great evening.
First of all, I wanna say thank you for reaching out and offering some critique, of course that is what I am hoping for (I'm not writing a 4500 word essay only to have it not be read and discussed), so again thank you for that. The next thing, you are absolutely right about the use of the word "retarded", I'll change that as soon as I posted this response. Regarding the cherry picking, I yet again have to agree with you. Of course I picked scenes that serve as (for me the most fitting) examples to support my claim/stance. I think you would agree that talking about every single scene of this game, especially in a single essay, is near impossible. So I instead reduced the list of my arguments to what I believed to be most crucial ones in informing my opinion (thus hoping they would also be most convincing to the reader). Before I go on to react to the specific arguments you make, and I had hoped I worded my essay in a way that that becomes clear, that essay is an outline of my thoughts in a way, it is me saying: this is my opinion/position/stance and these are reasons x, y, z of why I have that opinion. Subsequently, it is neither a definitive statement of any kind nor is it a critique to people who feel differently than me. I repeatedly say "in my point of view", "for me", "I expected", as well as giving room for other interpretations (I literally state that other interpretations are possible, and then went on to explain why I interpreted it the way I did). Which leads me neatly to your first argument. For you, Abby's nightmares read as an expression of guilt as well as other instances, allusions and nuances as you say, that could be interpreted this way. But that is exactly my critique. Interpretation is something so subjective and all these supposed allusions (again that is up to the individual's interpretation) are so incredibly vague that there is no way we could ever make a definitive statement about what they actually allude to. You reading it as guilt concerning Joel is absolutely and 100% justified, but me not doing so is just as legitimate. And Abby didn't strike me as feeling guilty the first time I played, and she still didn't the tenth time I did. Additionally, a glance that lasts a few seconds (and could be interpreteted in a marriott of ways) is unfortunately not substantial and concrete enough to balance out all the concrete evidence (Abby's actual actions) I have of her being a questionable person. This is one of the reasons why I needed Abby to have an actual conversation, to verbalize what's going on in her head. And it could have been with any one person, honestly, it didn't need to be Ellie. And I 100% agree with you there that we'd have to tweak a lot of the rest of the game if we were to arrive at my proposed alternative ending, since Abby wouldn't have the information needed (none of my proposed fixes work in isolation btw, so this goes for the Isaac confrontation as well). But it instead could have been a conversation with Lev, or Owen during that scene on the boat for instance (which I absolutely adore, by the way, it's one of my favourite scenes in the entire game). Owen's heartfelt monolgue could have been the perfect stepping stone for Abby to reveal her inner conflicts, thoughts, and motivations. But instead we get a sex scene. My issues here lies with the fact that they decided to show as much as they did for pure shock value (as opposed to implying it like they did with Ellie and Dina). But this is only issue #273 I have, so let's move on to the more important stuff. And this is where it gets interesting to me personally: You argue that Abby living with the WLF for the past four years would not lead her to having a strong enough connection to her comrades to not be willing to kill them. How is her connection to Lev so strong then after just 48 hours? Looks a lot like cherry picking to me. And this next argument has to be my favourite: You don't have to critize the writers just because you didn't like the story. Have you considered that I didn't like the story because it was
poorly written? I have no idea why people put writers on such a pedestal. It is their literal job. And when they don't do their job well I have the right to critize them for it. Abby dragging Lev to the theatre is and will remain inexcusable to me. First of all, Abby's "traumatic" experiences pale next to Lev's, but on top of that she's an adult and Lev a literal child. If you don't care that she's dismissive of his feelings and struggles here, because she prioritizes her own, that's your right. But I find it horrendous. "Glee" might have been the wrong word to choose here, but you still understand what I was trying to express. Her reaction to receiving that information is still messed up and concerning. And if Abby is indeed an eye for an eye type of character, and that is the supposed motivation for her to want to kill Dina, why then did Joel saving her life not lead to her letting him live in return? That would have been the eye for an eye solution, you saved my life so I will spare yours. And yet. Now, as the second to last thing, I want to address the critique that I do not come off as neutral enough. And I am absolutely aware of that. I had a second person proofread my essay before I posted it and they also let me know (even though I was aware of it beforehand) that as a reader one can tell that I am getting increasingly more frustrated as the essay goes on. And for a while I thought of going over the essay again to fix it to try to sound more neutral, objective and unemotional (like I did with my other two essays, that still aren't entirely neutral or free of personal bias by any means, as no text expressing opinions and feelings ever truly can be), but I ultimately decided against it. Not only is this a game specifically designed to elicit strong emotions, and pointing out all the issues I have did frustrate me, so why should I try to play that down? But also, why am I the only person expected to be completely rid of personal bias or emotions? Why are my arguments only seen as valid or legitimate if I present them in precisely the one way that suits you best? How am I expected to anticipate any one reader's interpretation and thus emotional reaction to my words and consciously construct my essay in a way which aims to prevent said reaction? No utterance, especially regarding opinions and feelings, is entirely neutral or free of personal bias. Your critique of my essay is filled with personal bias as well as it is emotionally charged. Does not take away from the legitimacy of your stance and/or arguments though, does it?
My priorities when I write these essays are: accumulating enough strong arguments to support my position, structuring them in a logical way as to assist the reader in recreating my thought process (to increase comprehension), wording it in a way that is as thorough while also as efficient as possible, attempting to word it in a way that is as neutral and objective as I can be (the exception being my Abby essay as I have just explained). And since I am not dismissive, condescending, or accusatory towards people who might disagree with me, I don't see a problem with being emotionally charged every now and then.
Now, finally I do wanna thank you again for voicing critique. I do appreciate it a lot. Not only for reading my essays, but again trying to look at them critically and informing me about issues you have found within my writing. It continues to force me to look at my own opinion with a critical eye and more often than not I have found myself persuaded by compelling arguments presented by people like you. And while you said you wouldn't be interested in having an open discussion/conversation, I would have to disagree, but I think an oral conversation would be more fruitful since I do get the feeling a lot might get lost by having it be a written conversation.
Why Abby never redeemed herself (and what that means for the story)
As divisive as the discourse surrounding Abby as a character and The Last of Us Part 2’s story as a whole is, I have felt the need for quite some time now to properly put into words why much of the intended effect the highly ambitious narrative attempted to achieve has unfortunately never occurred for me. This is due to a single central problem: Abby does not have a redemption arc. A redemption arc consists of two equally crucial aspects: a) the character undergoing the arc realizes that they made a mistake/have been acting morally reprehensible b) they make the conscious decision to do/be better Abby doesn’t do either of those things. Regarding the first aspect, the only instance where Abby alludes to feeling some type of guilt or shame or regret regarding any of her actions (both in terms of what happened in Jackson and what’s going on in Seattle) is on day 2, while she descends the hotel with Lev. When asked by him why she’s helping them, Abby says she “needed to lighten the load a bit”. This is most commonly interpreted as her feeling guilty. This one sentence, however, is so incredibly vague that it’s impossible to determine definitively what she’s talking about here. More than likely, she is referring to having slept with Owen. Not only did that happen mere hours ago, meaning it would still be on her mind, but additionally, Abby has remained consistently defensive, almost aggressively so, when being questioned or challenged in the slightest about Jackson (nearly all her conversations with Mel and Manny during the first day showcase this), so why would she out of nowhere admit any feeling of guilt concerning Joel? Furthermore, nothing occurred that could have acted as a trigger for Abby to start looking back on her actions with self-reflection/self-criticism. And for precisely these reasons I didn’t take that line as an allusion to Joel. (Again, it is possible to interpret it this way, I’m just illustrating why I deem it unlikely.)
Her decision to save Lev and Yara, as is implied by the narrative, is motivated by her feeling like she owes them for having saved her life. And thus (since they would likely die otherwise) she felt somewhat obligated – against her better judgement – to help them in return. Abby doesn't feel the need to change her mind about the Seraphites, she merely makes an exception for these two. Even when interacting with Lev and Yara, she continues to be reluctant, judgmental, and condescending throughout the majority of the first two days (we can spontaneously think of snide, condescending comments Abby makes toward Lev whenever he is talking about his faith), again showcasing that she clearly has no desire or intention to change her mind about their faction, as well as continuously refusing to take them seriously/treat them respect. And while on the subject of Lev and his faith, we do see Abby learning quite a bit about the Seraphites’ religion, but it’s always through the lens of Lev, who makes an effort to distance himself from the rest of his people. When explaining himself to Abby, he makes it clear that this is his belief, and that the Seraphites deviated from their original beliefs/teachings some time ago, thus only reinforcing Abby’s previously held beliefs. She is given no reason to look at the conflict between the two factions from an objective/distant perspective, possibly realizing that misunderstandings, prejudices and year-long, one-sided, vicious rhetoric might have blown the conflict out of proportion (and that she may have been complicit in that). As a result, Abby continues to have no qualms with slaughtering Seraphites. On the morning of the first day, Abby doesn’t hesitate because they're all just religious lunatics to her, and she continues to have this attitude at the end of the third day, Lev being the only exception. There's complete absence of self-reflection, admittance of fault, or desire to change her way of thinking from Abby's side, so where exactly is her supposed character growth? Ultimately, Abby believes to be 100% justified and her enemies to be 100% at fault (this goes for both the Seraphites and Ellie). But there is another problem. Even if Abby had undergone a decent arc, learning the error of her ways, or at the very least realizing how her years of blind loyalty and narrow-mindedness led to unjust, meaningless bloodshed, it would ultimately be irrelevant unless she also drew a connection to her misdeeds against Joel and Ellie. Her supposed “redemption arc” during the three days in Seattle is entirely removed from what she did in Jackson. Thus, even if her arc was well-written and brilliantly executed, she would have at most redeemed herself with regard to the WLF/Seraphite conflict. Let me quickly illustrate why: in a hypothetical situation where I set your house on fire and then immediately afterwards cross the street to give a homeless person 100 dollars, would I have repented myself in your eyes? Would you absolve me of my crimes against you? No, because these two acts are entirely independent of each other. I have not shown repentance towards you or made amends for the injustice you suffered because of my actions. Similarly, Abby has not redeemed herself in my eyes, even in the hypothetical best-case scenario where she undergoes a well-crafted and fantastically executed redemption arc in Seattle (which would give me something to work with at least). Unless she makes the connection and expresses some sort of regret or remorse for what she’s put Ellie through, it is impossible for her to redeem herself regarding this offense and that’s the redemption I was interested in seeing. Some players seem to hold the belief that Abby doesn't need to redeem herself for killing Joel. I cannot argue with that. All I can do is illustrate my position, I believe that her actions were wrong, particularly regarding Ellie who had absolutely no part in killing her father. Hence, I expected – in some way even demanded – a redemption arc, at least if I was ever expected to come around to Abby.
I went into her section looking forward to seeing things from her perspective, wanting to latch onto her personality and get engrossed in her arc, but was ultimately let down. And I wanna make this absolutely clear: Abby does not need to regret having killed Joel in order to redeem herself (both in the audience's and in Ellie's eyes). Her motivation is after all understandable, much like Ellie's is. Still, I would have liked to see her feeling regret for having killed Joel in such an exceptionally and unnecessarily brutal and sadistic way. Perhaps Abby could realize that Isaac's years of training turned her into a heartless, unfeeling killing machine, and that this “darker side” of her came even more to the forefront during that highly emotional moment in the ski lodge. Perhaps, in retrospect, the fact that, despite Ellie's repeated crying and pleading, Abby still went through with killing Ellie’s father figure right in front of her eyes, is slowly starting to gnaw at her conscience (since Abby has been in a similar situation). Just imagine a confrontation between these two women where they actually get to have a conversation with each other. Imagine Abby eventually expressing regret, apologizing to Ellie for having caused her so much suffering. How would that effect Ellie who has been desperate to kill this woman up until this point (in this alternative, hypothetical story)? I cannot express how much potential for compelling dialogue and really powerful drama lies in this alternative scenario. In this version, Abby, who gave into her darkest impulses due to her anger and sadness and insatiable need for vengeance, could ultimately, through self-reflection, realization and asking for forgiveness (a.k.a. actual character growth), prevent Ellie from going down a similarly dark path. And I am in no way implying that this is the only direction this story could have gone that I would have accepted, but I needed to be given something at least. But we were denied all of this. No critical self-assessment, no admission of guilt, no want to redeem herself in the eyes of the people whom she wronged. And thus, Abby's potential redemption arc turns to dust. Now I feel the need to address another incredibly large issue I have with Abby, not as a character within a story, but as a person within the universe. Because unfortunately I am not convinced that I’d be capable of coming around to her even if all these major issues were fixed. And the reason for this being numerous independent acts which I am not able to overlook or excuse. Beginning with her sleeping with Owen. Completely ignoring the fact that him and Abby talk about torturing someone only to 5 seconds later do the devil’s tango (which is quite frankly one the most disturbing things I’ve ever had to witness), I personally find infidelity an inexcusable offense. There is not a single good reason not to be honest with your partner, not to resist your impulses, not to do the right thing. The fact that Mel is about to bring Owen’s child into this world is not exactly helping either. And with this one act (of which I’m to this day unsure why it was included in the game at all? What purpose did that sex scene serve apart from traumatizing me for life?) the writers pretty much sealed the deal for me regarding my opinion of Abby, all the goodwill that might have been left completely eradicated. But I had no idea what profoundly disturbing and repellent things were yet to come. On Day 3, after Abby followed Lev onto the island and he just lost his sister, Abby, in order to ensure they escape the island together, goes on to mow down WLFs and Seraphites alike. For one, the matter of fact is that there would have been plenty other ways to get out of that situation, for instance: a) Why do they not return to the boat with which they came (and landed on a very remote part of the island with)? I know they offer some bs throw-away line from Yara about hearing gunshots coming from there, but honestly anything would be smarter than going through the main battle that’s going on in Haven.
But no, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. b) In that confrontation with Isaac (I still can’t get over how they actually ran into him, like what are the odds of this) why wouldn't Abby just tell Isaac that she wants Lev to herself, that she wants to take her sweet time torturing him? Don’t tell me Isaac wouldn’t be on board with that. But then Abby and Lev would be able to escape the island no problem, and we need to show how much Abby cares about Lev (who she met 24 hours ago btw) by having her willingly accept getting shot to protect him. We can’t have Abby making rational decisions that would ensure both her own and the kid’s survival she apparently so desperately cares for, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. What I am trying to illustrate is that there would have been more than one alternative to avoid having to kill her own comrades. But no, Abby instead opts for the way that not only takes longer and is much riskier but is also the one that forces her to kill her own comrades/friends. (Me criticizing the stupidity of the character's actions is obviously by extension a critique of the poor writing, since a more creative/more talented writer would have come up with logical, sensical ways to get to this plot point/action set piece. I'm not criticizing the fact they prioritize a certain plot point, but there's ways to reach those in more organic, logical, non-contrived ways.) And what does Abby have to say when Lev asks her about just having killed dozens of her own people? “It doesn’t matter.”. Mind you, these are the people she has spent the past four years with, the family and the home she was granted after having lost that in Salt Lake City (keep in mind how much effort they put into showing us how chummy Abby was with literally everyone during Day 1 too). And she ploughs through them with absolute apathy. No hesitation, no moral dilemma, no inner conflict, nothing. This woman is a literal sociopath. And I know it sounds like it couldn’t get any worse, and yet. I think my absolute favorite thing about Abby has to be how selfless and empathic she is. Only take the scene at the end of day three where she finds Owen and Mel dead in the aquarium. What is the next thing Abby does? She drags a 13-year-old child into a combat situation, a child who has recently been through five – count them five!!! – severe traumatic events within the last three days. a) He was excommunicated from his community, whose members then went on to hunt him and his sister down for sport. b) His sister lost her arm trying to protect him, nearly dying in the process. c) He had to kill his mother in self-defense because she was so unable to accept him for who he is to the point of attempting to kill him. d) He lost his sister whose last act was saving his life once again. e) He watched the community he’s been a part of his entire life being slaughtered in front of his eyes while his home and the physical manifestation of his faith, their place of worship, burned and razed to the ground. This 13-year-old child needs all the affection, attention, compassion, support and time in the world to be able to cope with all this. But unfortunately, Lev is stuck with Abby, who couldn’t care less. As soon as she finds her two friends dead, Lev’s struggles are immediately brushed aside. So much so that she drags him along, willingly putting his life at risk again while also expecting him to be capable of focusing enough to assist/aid her. “I know you – a literal child – just lost everything that made up your sense of identity and belonging, but I really liked my two friends, so shut up, we need to focus on me first.” And people expect me to like this person? Of all the things Abby did that make her the most psychotic, despicable, and morally reprehensible person, this one might take the cake for me personally. How far up your own a**, how far removed from any capability of showing empathy do you have to be to act this way?
It seems to me that she does not care about Lev after all (only when we need a cool action set piece where she kills all her friends – she does it out of love for this random kid though, so it’s okay). And yet there remains one final moment, one decision, one act that we need to talk about – when Abby reacts with glee upon hearing she is about to slit a pregnant woman’s throat. And once again, if it wasn’t for the presence of a literal child, she would have gone through with it. I've heard claims in defense of this heinous act such as she deems it retribution for Mel's death. And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get the impression she liked Mel all that much, especially considering she barely bestows a glance at Mel’s lifeless body, she instead cries over Owen. Let's compare her to Ellie for a moment, as people often tend to, thinking it would benefit their defense of Abby: When Ellie confronts Mel and Owen in the aquarium, she makes it clear from the very first second that she is not interested in them, but in Abby (prioritizing the actual perpetrator as opposed to mere (somewhat innocent) bystanders). And I’m gonna have to rant for a second about how utterly dumb and contrived this whole scene is: a) Why exactly is Mel there to begin with? Why is a woman as heavily pregnant as she is even allowed outside the base, much less in a combat situation? (It almost seems like the writers needed to make sure there’s a pregnant woman around for Ellie to kill, no matter how nonsensical and contrived it might be, especially considering we’re in a post-apocalyptic world where pregnant women would be the most valued (and thus most protected) members of society, seeing how they literally ensure the survival of humankind.) b) Mel conveniently wears a big ass coat that hides her belly, when every other second we see her throughout the game she has it on full display so that everyone can immediately tell how heavily pregnant she is. c) Why in the world would the first thing out of Mel’s mouth not be that she’s pregnant? Someone’s holding a pistol to her face and she doesn’t even consider pleading to Ellie to spare her and her child? That Owen doesn’t say anything is even funnier, but we already knew that he doesn’t care about Mel and his own child, so. d) Why would they refuse to give Ellie the information? Not only has it been established that Mel doesn’t care too much about Abby, there should be no dilemma for her when it comes to choosing between protecting her own child and ratting Abby out. But also: Abby is on the Seraphite island where an attck is currently taking place? What are the odds of a) Abby surviving that in the first place, b) Ellie actually managing to get there, and c) Ellie surviving, finding and killing Abby? You have absolutely no good reason to not give up Abby's location, you have nothing to lose and only your own and your child’s life to save. e) Why the hell would Owen approach Ellie who is holding a gun to his pregnant girlfriend’s face? Yeah, sure, don’t comply with her, she can only kill the three of you within milliseconds. (Like, I want so badly to empathize with these people, but it’s really difficult when they continue to be so utterly stupid and incompetent.) f) Ellie, if you threaten someone with a gun, you make sure they don’t come within a two-meter radius of you. And if they don’t back the f*ck up, you shoot them in the kneecap. Then you point the gun at the preggo lady and tell her you’re gonna kill Owen unless she gives you the information you want. Why are you suddenly the most idiotic and incompetent human being? You see, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need to show that Ellie is the evilest person to ever exist, no matter how contrived and nonsensical all the events leading up to it are (including discarding Ellie of her core characteristics and skills). Look, she killed an unborn child! Yeah, sounds fine in theory, only problem being:
a) Ellie didn’t know Mel was pregnant b) they attacked her first, she killed them in self-defense c) she had a complete mental breakdown when she found out Kinda the exact opposite of Abby, wouldn’t you agree? Abby knew Dina was pregnant, neither Ellie nor Dina was a threat to her any longer, and she was thrilled to take Dina’s (and her baby’s) life. You can try however hard you like to convince me that Abby is somehow justified here or that she’s a morally grey character, but no matter how you slice it, chief, that is not morally grey, that is repellent and disturbing. I have now done everything in my power to illustrate as detailed and thorough as I was able to why Abby did not have a redemption arc and why both the absence of her arc as well as her deeds independent of it led me to have as strong a negative opinion of her as I do, both as a character within a story and a person within the universe the story is set in. Another question that could be posed, however, and the final thing I wanna address, is whether Abby even needs a redemption arc. After all, there’s a plethora of despicable, morally reprehensible, detestable, and downright loathsome characters in popular media who are widely beloved regardless (we collectively have a soft spot for villains it seems). And I think I’d be much more forgiving if the overall consensus was that yes, Abby is a horrible person, but some people enjoy her regardless because she’s still a well-written character. And if that is your personal stance I would never bash you for that. It only gets exceptionally annoying when the game itself seems to imply that I am a bad person if I do not end up liking Abby. And not for their lack of trying, no, they really tried to a comical degree. This essay is way too long already so I will just quickly outline a fraction of all the cheap and manipulative tactics this game uses to trick us into siding with Abby. a) Play fetch with the dogs that you were forced to kill in earlier parts of the game, don’t you feel bad? No, I do not. The alternative was dying, I did what anyone in that situation would have done. I do not feel bad for protecting Ellie's life. b) Do you hear that sweet Gustavo soundtrack? The one that so many players associate with all the good feelings the first game elicited in them? The one that so well encompasses the “The Last of Us” experience? Yeah, we’ll play it mostly during Abby’s parts of the story and leave it out of Ellie’s (except for the prologue/epilogue), so you feel more inclined to sympathize with Abby. c) Look at how precious Abby is with her kid side character, it’s such a lovely and heartwarming dynamic, reminds me of someone else but I can’t quite put my finger on it. No, we couldn’t have possibly written a different dynamic that doesn’t play on the player’s preexisting emotional associations. How could the audience possibly empathize/connect to a dynamic that isn’t a replica of Joel’s and Ellie’s? d) Look at all those mechanics and weapons in Abby’s gameplay, the strangling people, the shivs, the ladders, the flamethrower/hunting pistol (El Diablo), isn’t it reminiscent of playing as Joel in the first game? Yes, we will continue to shamelessly exploit your emotional investment in characters from the first game (while simultaneously doing everything to thoroughly obliterate said characters you have such a strong connection to). e) Who would have thought? Abby had a dad who was such a good guy, saving Zebras in his spare time (which by the way is so laughable, that’s something a 10-year-old would come up with to make his character sympathetic). Doesn’t really cancel out the fact that he got a hard-on at the chance of killing a 14-year-old child, but he was such a good guy though.
And don’t you love how we once again feel the need to replicate Ellie’s and Joel’s relationship to such a comical degree? Collecting artefacts (cards/coins), bonding over an exotic animal (giraffe/zebra), teasing my daughter about her potential boyfriend (Jesse/Owen), the day trip to a place that becomes like a safe haven to us (museum/aquarium). The main problem I have with these tactics/parallels is that they do not serve any narrative function. They never amount or lead to anything, never play a part in a character’s arc (e.g.: one them reevaluating their opinion of the other because they share similar origins/motivations) or serve to elevate the themes/message during a crucial emotional pay-off. None of these things ever influence the plot, influence a character’s motivation/goals, heightens/showcases/elevates the themes of the story, meaning they do not serve any narrative purpose. And thus, their only remaining function is to manipulate the audience. All these framing devices ultimately reveal that the writers were clearly biased towards one of our two protagonists. They do not hold Ellie and Abby to the same standard. Abby gets her revenge, never aims to forgive Ellie or be the bigger person, and still gets off nearly scott-free, with her life, Lev by her side and the promise of finding the Fireflies. Compared to Ellie who doesn't get her revenge, is expected to be the bigger person by forgiving Abby and still loses everything in the process. Pretty biased for a story that is supposedly about how there's no good or bad side – the writers clearly seem to think there is. Compare this to our introduction to Joel in the first game. One of the first character defining actions we see him take is abandon another family on the side of the road because Joel is the kind of guy that prioritizes taking care of his own. That is who he is. And the game simply presents this to us, never telling us how to feel about it. Similarly, I think it would have worked much better if they made Abby a character defined by clearly setting herself apart from Ellie (instead of ham-fisting all these not-so-subtle parallels in) and letting me make up my own mind about her, instead of constantly and patronizingly forcing me to feel a certain way. If you write a complex, multi-dimensional, compelling character, chances are I will be able to connect to or at least appreciate that character, no matter how villainous, despicable, and loathsome they might be. I personally adore Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones. And she is an absolute c*nt. I actively despise her within the confines of the story because she continuously tears down my other favourite characters in the most horrific ways. Yet I absolutely adore the artistry, talent and creativity put into creating such a complex and intriguing character, so much so that she is my all-time favourite character. I know the difference between liking a character because they're well-written and liking a character because they're a good person. However, “I don’t like this character because they’re a shitty person, no matter how well-written they might be” is a strong enough argument regardless. A character being a horrible person is justification enough for someone to not like that character. If Abby were well-written, the writers would not have felt the need to resort to blatant and transparent emotional manipulation to force us to feel a certain way about her. The fact that such a large portion of the audience still failed to connect to Abby is not a reflection of the audience’s inability to feel empathy for morally grey characters (again, even the most horrendous villains are often beloved, as long as they are well-written), but instead a reflection of how much the writers failed to create a complex, compelling character we would want to root for.
Happy Pride to these two adorable gays!
After All We’ve Been Through. Everything That I’ve Done. It Can’t Be For Nothing