Coming Out - Blog Posts

part 1 of the andreil coming out thing here

ok, so andrew and neil aren't the most openly affectionate

there's no hints to the public that they could possibly be together, considering their little... rivalry

however, with andrew out now, a few people like to believe that andrew and neil could have an "enemies-to-lovers" situation

some people even think that they're already together

nevertheless, this is a very small population in the grand scheme of exy, and most of this is indulging in fantasies anyways — few people really believe in these theories

and as months pass after andrew's coming out, people stop pestering him every 0.2 seconds about who his boyfriend is

andrew and neil think they're finally free of all the annoying paparazzi and slightly overbearing fans

and it's under this false sense of security that shit hits the roof

it's a random september night when it happens, nothing terribly significant

but the whole week, andrew had been craving a closeness with neil, the kind that comes with not seeing your person for weeks

so he booked a flight to where neil was, realizing that had this occurred a few years back, andrew probably wouldn't have even acknowledged that he missed neil, let alone made steps to actually see him again

on a flight.

(he thinks bee would be proud)

anyway, he reached neil's apartment with minimal damage and proceeded to be drowned in kisses

it's a good few days.

and then, on that fateful september night, andrew is hit with the urge to take neil out

(not like murder. more like... a date?)

they don't usually go out on those, but it's not like they've never done so before

so andrew books a dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant, fully intending to take his man out on a nice. fancy. relaxing. drama-free. date.

of course, the universe has other plans

andrew and neil arrive at the restaurant (a little late but neil's lips were a good distraction for a few hours, okay? (they may have left the kitchen in disarray from lunch, but that's irrelevant))

their table is a secluded corner where they're pretty much hidden from view, save for one or two tables, and the seemingly solid privacy relaxes andrew and neil

their dinner goes by relatively uneventfully

(excluding when andrew gave a small smile to one of neil's dumb jokes, who proceeded to dump marinara sauce into his water instead of next to his garlic bread while staring dreamily at andrew, and then nearly choked when he took his next sip from the glass)

(also excluding when neil gave a not-so-innocent suck on his fork and andrew, frustrated over laws about public indecency, stabbed his brussel sprouts aggressively, causing one to fly up and hit and burn his eye)

(also also excluding— )

ok, so maybe it was more of a mess than andrew was ready to admit

but andrew dug into his panna cotta feeling lighter than he had in weeks as neil teased him about his sugar addiction and held his hand under the table

it was as andrew leaned over and kissed some cream off the side of neil's lips that he got the feeling of being watched

he whirled around, hair nearly hitting neil's face, as his gaze landed on a cell phone camera pointed at them

he caught the eye of a very guilty looking man, made even more errant when said man proceeded to leap out of his chair and run out of the restaurant

andrew was half-out of his chair to follow him when neil tugged on his shirt sleeve, an instigative glint in his eye

"neil. do you want to see this on every gossip magazine in the next few hours?"

"well no, but that fuckwad is always going to have those pictures. we, however, can make sure he doesn't get the headline he wants"

"... i'm listening"

about 40 minutes later, back at neil's apartment, neil posts a picture of his extremely messy kitchen on twitter

@neil_josten_official: well fuck me 🥴

@03andrewminyard: if you insist

~ 30 minutes later ~

@neil_josten_official: *image attached: andrew is laying his head in the crook of neil's neck as neil kisses him on the top of his head, andrew's fingers running through neil's hair. they both appear to be shirtless*

@neil_josten_official: BREAKING NEWS: just had sex with my (very hot) boyfriend to get revenge on unfulfilled gossip "journalists." life really couldn't be better :)

@neil_josten_official: ok but really, stop trying to out closeted celebrities (and people in general). it's not cool. it's not trendy. our lives aren't a scandal to report on. you're all just assholes and fuck you

@neil_josten_official: but not literally. a metaphorical fuck, if you will

@exykevinday.official: I'm proud of you for coming out and finally ending your ridiculous rivalry @neil_josten_official and @03andrewminyard, but was there really no other way you could have done so without informing me about your sex life?

@03andrewminyard: haha. no.

needless to say, the internet erupts in shock at neil's tweets

theories emerge left and right about how, when, why andrew and neil got together

the two of them get requests for so many interviews, talk shows, panels, magazines, all of which they turn down

of course, there's the occasional question in a post-game or team interview that's hard to avoid, and for the most part, these rare moments provide the only things the public knows about what they affectionately call "andreil"

but apparently when you're in a very public relationship, there are certain expectations fans have about how much of it you disclose

and while andrew doesn't necessarily want to divulge their private life to millions of people, he also can't help but be reminded of how seeing nicky and erik's comfortable relationship in his late teenage years solidified to him that him liking guys wasn't a bad thing

and it's with that in mind that he posts a picture on his instagram from earlier in june of him and neil curled up on the sofa, a massive rainbow flag draped around them with neil kissing his cheek

it's one of the few pictures he posts of the two of them (photos are more of neil's thing (when the hell did he take such model-esque photos of andrew?))

but andrew constantly @'s neil on twitter for literally anything

@03andrewminyard: don't forget the cat food the spoiled idiots take the most expensive stuff @neil_josten_official

@03andrewminyard: hey @neil_josten_official get me the mega stuff oreos from the store ok bye

@03andrewminyard: i- @neil_josten_official. why. is. there. neon. orange. paint. all. over. my. socks.

needless to say, neil's retaliation of posting gorgeous photos of andrew always flusters andrew

and if andrew needs to press soft kisses to his lips to stop neil's gleeful laughter and his own flightful smile, well, that's no one's business

part 2 here <3

andrew is very loud about being gay.

he doesn't really "flaunt it" that much in college

but it gets to the point where he just wants to prove to kevin that yes, he can be successful and gay

so really, it all starts with a bet

anyway. neil has so many videos of andrew getting drunk in front of him and waxing poetic about boys (one in particular)

"neil. neil. this guy has such nice eyes. and ass"

*sigh* "andrew that's a picture of me"

"woahhhh"

but these are (mostly) all private moments

andrew isn't super open in front of others, considering how reserved he is in public

that all changes four years after going pro.

there are some days where queer people just feel exceptionally us and we just want to tell everyone we know

(but being closeted kinda... makes that hard. ahem.)

andrew isn't exempt from these feelings

and one day, the morning of a major interview, he's just hit with the sudden urge to tell someone that he's gay

it's bursting inside him, a physical feeling he can't push down behind the apathy

he tries to ignore it as best as he can and goes to the interview with his team

it's pretty chill. the team is playing a game called "Truth or Drink", where if you don't say truth... you drink?

so everyone's getting tipsy while andrew sits quietly in the corner of the sofa

eventually, one of his teammates realizes that no one had asked andrew anything yet, so when it's her turn, she turns to andrew

"andrew! truth or drink?"

andrew blinks slowly, a bit surprised that the question was directed to him

he considers his options. that weird feeling is still bubbling up inside his stomach and he figures alcohol will probably make things feel worse

so after a moment, he glances up at her and says quietly "truth"

she looks gleeful

after a bit of drunk conferring with some other teammates, she faces andrew with a glint in her eyes

"so," his teammates lean forward. "do you have a girlfriend?"

andrew groaned internally. of course this is the one thing they'd ask their most private, closed-off teammate

"no," he scowled. he was going to leave it at that, really, but his mouth moved faster than his mind and before he could stop himself, he blurted out "i do have a boyfriend though"

there was a moment of silence

then everyone started talking over each other, asking questions and demanding to learn more. andrew slumped in his seat, mentally preparing for the next 30 minutes

a few days later, the interview drops

predictably, the internet goes wild

fans speculate wildly about which guy andrew minyard could possibly be dating

it ranges to other exy players to celebrities to random students from PSU

neil and andrew don't come out for a while though

but in that gap, between andrew being out as gay and actually revealing that he's dating neil abram josten, andrew is pretty vocal about his sexuality

it starts with donations to LGBTQ+ groups and messages of support on social media

lots of sports fans (and people in general) understand how revolutionary it is to have an out athlete of this caliber

so they're constantly putting out encouraging messages

and after all this support, andrew eventually becomes a bit more... lax about what he posts

it starts with this on twitter:

yeah... andrew breaks the internet again

nicky tweets out an unholy amount of keyboard smashes

and andrew just... keeps posting gay memes

you can't go a single interview without andrew randomly interjecting the fact that he's gay

there are compilations on youtube like "andrew minyard being a gay icon for 17 minutes" or "20 minutes of andrew minyard being fruity af"

(andrew finds these far too funny — every time he comes across one of these, he just has to share it on social media)

andrew ends up on the face of so many queer magazines and pride events and such

of course, there are some shitty homophobic people

but every time a kid comes up to him and tells him how he inspired them to come out, those people become easier and easier to forget about

needless to say, by the time he and neil come out, andrew's already pretty comfortable with sharing his sexuality on the internet

being out as a couple, though? well, that's just a whole other story

LOOK OUT FOR PART 2 IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS it's abt andrew and neil coming out istg it's a mess but a very fun one lmao

I'll come right out and say it.

I am asexual. It feels right to say it, to myself and to the world.

And to all you aces and aspec people, I see you, and I'm so glad to be a part of the community!

💜🖤💜🖤

💚🖤💚🖤

Queer Narrative

Coming-out stories [...] generally assume a stable sexual identity [...].

The idea of a stable identity has always puzzled me. As a person, I tend to grow and change with every breath I take, every experience I make, every conversation I have, every piece I read. Life is change and identity can change along the way. Sexual identity is no different.

Mulhall, A. (2020). Queer Narrative. In S. B. Somerville (Hrsg.), The Cambridge Companion to Queer Studies (1. edition, p. 142–155). Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/9781108699396.011

These Witches Don’t Burn

“She’s my ex,” I whisper, my stomach clenching as I wait to see how [he] responds. Coming out is always nerve-wracking, no matter how many times I do it. [...]

[He] pauses a moment, considering me. Then he lets out a knowing sigh. “My first boyfriend broke up with me a few months before he went to college, too.”

“Yeah?” I ask, instantly feeling a tighter kinship with my new coworker, like seeing a familiar face in a crowd of strangers.

“What happened?”

“Some of it was the usual stuff, [...]. Mostly, though, I don’t think he wanted to date a guy.” When [he] sees my confused expression, he clarifies. “I’m trans. I came out senior year.”

Sterling, I. (2019). These Witches Don’t Burn. Razorbill.

I'm Agender and Asexual.

🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤

🖤

🩶

🤍

💜

Thought it was a good way to end the month.

~♡

Me: "... Does this change anything?"

Dad: "Mm, no. Not really."

Me: ".... Do you still love me?"

Dad: "... Of course. Nothing's gonna change that."

STOP IM CRYING ILY DAD

THE CLOSET SHALL BE OPENED!

If/when this posts reaches 5555 notes, I’ll come out as trans to my parents.

No rules. Spam however much you want (But please have some mercy, like at least let this post take a few months 🙏).

Yeah, I been away for a while. But ya bois back, and with a new gender. Suprising how being stuck in the wrong body actually causes some serious anxiety and depression. But guess this is my official coming out on this website. Pronouns he/they and im gonna make that every bigot's problem.

Woah mama, you can come out if you're an egg, we're really accepting here

woah mama theres weird ominous plastic eggs on your blog???

Woah mama they're gonna put me in the egg

new way of coming out as bi...

just say:

"iodine, americium, bismuth."

let them figure it out on their own... see what happens...

Got sent home for threatening to come out to my grandparents to spice the family reunion up

coming out pansexual be like:

me: why its rather stuffy in here

*nudges the cupboard door*

me: WOAH

*falls out of cupboard with the pots and pans making shit tons of noise*

everyone: 

me: im gay

I visited a market yesterday and picked a card from the Tarot that a vendor had splayed out at her table. I tried for the card most hidden, and eventually picked the second of two cards that were stuck together.

I flipped it over for the witch manning the table. She read it aloud. "The Candelabra." She thumbed through the pages of a Tarot meanings pamphlet, and continued her reading. "This could mean Crossroads. A Junction. Paths. A Journey. Whatever that may mean to you."

I don't take much creed in the magical, but sometimes it's fun to indulge. And I wanted to indulge. I didn't speak of it, but to me 'Crossroads' meant the choice to come out to my family that night. To do it, or not to do it. 'A Journey' meant that I was ready to take the path. Ready to tell them what and who I am.

I was excited, to say the least. My parents had invited my Husband and I over to watch TV that night. My whole family would be there, it would be perfect.

But it wasn't. My husband and I got home after a big day at a local comic convention and we were exhausted. We fell asleep.

It's now 11 after midnight. The next day technically. I know that the Tarot has no real hold over my life and the path I take, but it feels like I missed the opportunity. I didn't tell my family. I missed my exit off the highway, and I'll need to wait for the next turnoff before I can circle back. I felt so ready but I'm not so sure anymore. I've felt so euphoric lately but now all I feel is dread.

Maybe I should give it some time. That readiness will come back soon.

I have my own Tarot deck at home. It may be time to open it up and do my own readings. Maybe it'll tell me the proper time to do it, or maybe I'll decide against whatever doomsaying it tells me and I'll do it anyway. Whatever. Sounds fun.

Any tips for personal tarot reading?

I am a trans girl. I have been for a long time. I wish I started my transition earlier when I first realized, but better late than never. I'm on HRT for 10 weeks exactly. Almost time for my 3-month follow-up with the doctor.

I'm coming out on Tumblr now because it hurts me so much to hold it in irl. Perfect opportunities pass for me to come out to my family and friends and it hurts, but I'm not ready for social change. My body doesn't match my brain yet and I need it to at least be closer than it is now to matching in order to come out. I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe at the sight of myself. I need to be confident because nobody else will be for me. I need to be as happy outside in public as I am in the shower playing with my hair and discovering my new body for the first time.

I think it would help if I had more trans friends, people who could guide me and help me. People who could come over and do my makeup and help me try on nice outfits that I can be proud of. People I can be comfortable being myself around. I'm never myself unless I'm alone. Even with my boyfriend I'm a little reserved though I should try not to be, he's so sweet and supportive and as a trans man knows very well what I'm going through.

I hope very much that someday soon I can wear my favourite skirts outside my home, or feel pretty when I look in the mirror, or feel like I deserve the happiness I feel when my new breasts ache.

Maybe I'll be a little more talkative on the subject now that I've made my very own first post that isn't a reblog.

Update: So I told them, and here’s how it went:

My stepmom looked a bit confused but she said, “Okay”, and that was the end of that.

My dad, however…well, he started yelling, saying the typical things. “What does that even mean?”, “You’re confused”, “That’s impossible” and things like that. And I don’t know what happened, but I just blew. I started yelling, too, which surprised the both of them because I’m usually quiet. I started talking about how the both of them needed to start taking my feelings into account before they talk and act. They couldn’t just say something hurtful and ply it off as a joke every single time. Although I didn’t express it, I had feelings too, and hearing them say things hurtful about me or the LGBTQIA+ Community hurt those feelings. That shut my dad up really quickly. We had a long talk about communicating and how we would work through this.

So, all in all, I’d say it was pretty successful. In the end, I got accepted and had a meaningful talk with my parents that will hopefully make my life a little better.

I’m just about to come out to my parents. I said (posted) earlier that I already told them I was Ace, but I feel like they kinda forgot about it. Plus, this time, I’m going to come out as AroAce and genderfluid. (I know I said I was demifluid, but I realizes otherwise.) Hope and pray for me. I’m pretty sure they’ll accept me (at least the AroAce part), but I don’t know about the Gender-fluid part. They’ve made some transphobic remarks before, so I’m super effin’ nervous. I’ll update later on, after I come out.

I’m just about to come out to my parents. I said (posted) earlier that I already told them I was Ace, but I feel like they kinda forgot about it. Plus, this time, I’m going to come out as AroAce and genderfluid. (I know I said I was demifluid, but I realizes otherwise.) Hope and pray for me. I’m pretty sure they’ll accept me (at least the AroAce part), but I don’t know about the Gender-fluid part. They’ve made some transphobic remarks before, so I’m super effin’ nervous. I’ll update later on, after I come out.

!!! this me

i realized that the lesbian + aro flags have the same number of stripes so here. either an aro lesbian flag or a lesbian / aro solidarity flag!

update because i have not been here :

I found out I am autistic and have ADHD

I lost my best friend for a year (she was toxic as fuck)

I came out to my mother

I got a lecture on friendship, homosexuality, and depression/mental health

I got a new psychologist

I discovered my new spanish teacher did not wear bras, yet wore tight fitting and see through clothing

I identified as genderfluid

I accepted I was an atheist

I identified as asexual

my therapist gave up on me

I identified as panromantic instead of pansexual

i identified as demigirl

I became confused on my gender

I did 🍃

Coming out was easier than coming out as an anime fan.