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Chronic Pain - Blog Posts
Your friends and family with chronic pain aren't doing well.
Yes, even the ones that say they are.
Yes, especially the ones that are complaining and lashing out already.
Chances are high that however bad they will admit things are it's actually worse. By a lot.
We're conditioned to be "okay". If we're breaking down at non scheduled times we aren't coping well. I promise.
Your sibling/partner/bestie/parent who is breaking down without preamble on a Tuesday is suffering. Be kind. We're sorry.
hi, i want to share stuff about my life with chronic migraine and other health struggles. i'm still in the process of getting diagnosed for the latter, but strongly suspect that it's mecfs. a few weeks ago my condition got worse and i feel very isolated so here i am.
The gentleness of caring
Event: Angstpril 2025 by @chaos-company Prompt: Day 2—Chronic Pain Fandom: Boku No Hero Academia | My Hero Academia Ship: Bakugou Katsuki x Todoroki Shouto | TodoBaku Rating: T Tags: Reincarnation AU, dreams of previous life, chronic pain, domesticity Beta: @sysiumblue
The nightmare that Katsuki had was familiar, but so much worse than usual. Dark views of someone that looked surprisingly like him in a tight shirt and cargo pants and fighting someone a lot bigger than himself. And then, he felt the heat prickle through his veins, before the big boom that he could feel in his wrists. The bones felt like shattering, but they were kept together by a sheer force of will from his body.
Those dreams are how he tries to explain away his wrist problems in day-to-day life, because no doctor could ever find an answer. Nobody knew why he’d be feeling the pain that he was.
He felt a shift in the sheets next to him a few seconds before Shouto’s head popped out from under the mountains of blankets he swears he needs. His eyes immediately fell to where Katsuki was massaging his right wrist. The dreams always made the pain more pronounced.
Without saying anything, Shouto gave him a kiss on his temple before climbing out of bed. Katsuki knew that it was to get all the creams, tapes and guards he always adorned Katsuki with to survive throughout the day.
They didn’t need words for this ritual anymore, Katsuki just hoped he could probably show his appreciation for Shouto the way the love of his life deserved it. But, that brought up the pod of guilt Katsuki always felt after the dreams. He couldn’t tell Shouto. That they always fought. Almost to the point of death. How Katsuki had died at some point.
That even less than lovers, they were sworn to be enemies by trade.
Shouto padded back into the room in his too-big pajamas, and sat cross-legged next to Bakugou. It took him back to when they were just in High School with Shouto in front of his books in the very same position. Tongue sticking out in concentration.
And Katsuki’s chest squeezed knowing that Shouto put the same effort into his care as he did into his studies, his work, everything that had ever been important to him.
Shouto gingerly took Katsuki’s right wrist into his hands and started methodically massaging the inside with deep heat cream before putting on a compression band, securing the wrist guard and fastening it to where he knew Katsuki found it comfortable. With his left wrist, Shouto used sports tape to tape out a makeshift guard. After each turn, Shouto placed little kisses on Katsuki’s wrists; the warmth felt like it would burst out of his chest. He couldn’t care about the position they were in, or the fact that Shouto felt insecure about morning breath most days. Katsuki took Shouto’s face into his hands, letting his thumbs trace out his husband’s face under his own calloused fingers and finally pulled Shouto close enough to kiss him.
Shouto gasped in surprise, before pushing back into Katsuki, and when they pulled back, Shouto had a light flush spreading over his cheeks.
“Good morning, icy.” Katsuki’s voice was still gravelly with sleep and Shouto only sighed and leaned his forehead on Katsuki’s shoulder, drawing closer and relaxed in Katsuki’s embrace.
Yeah, Katsuki didn’t care what happened in the dreams, because they didn’t include this. And this, right here, was everything he wanted from the life he was living.
TW sleep deprivation, derealisation, depersonalisation, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts
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Can we talk about the effects of spending all of your formative years dealing with chronic pain? About what comes with it besides "just" the pain?
I used to routinely go days without sleeping. And I don't mean the way some people say they "didn't sleep at all last night" when actually they did sleep 2 hours. I mean no sleep at all for 3-4 ish days, I'm not sure bc my memories from that time are fuzzy (wonder why). The pain kept me up night after night. And it wasn't until the overwhelming urge to sleep finally won over the pain that I would be able to sleep.
Do you know what happens when you go without sleep for too long?
At first, you're just more tired than usual, it gets harder to concentrate, you get snappy easier. Then it'll feel like everything is too loud or slightly shushed like you're in a bubble, it's hard to focus your eyes properly, the ground and the walls get squiggly. Obviously, the pain you already have gets exponentially worse but also different, heavier.
If you are awake still, you'll start to have micro sleeps. That's when your brain shuts down briefly for a micro second while you're awake bc it fucking needs to sleep. Time feels weird, stretching and shrinking in on itself. It won't feel real. You won't feel real. You'll forget basic shit like your own name.
It varies from person to person how long you have to go without sleep before the visual and auditory hallucinations start. But if you're awake for long enough, they will start. Whispers of your name when you're alone, songs playing when there's no music on, shadow people in your peripheral vision.
Maybe you'll think about killing yourself just to make it stop. Maybe you don't even think killing yourself would mean death, but instead you belive you'll wake up and everything will be back to normal. Your ability to reason, to think logically will twist.
Eventually, the urge to sleep will be greater than the pain and finally you will get to rest.
I understand all too well why sleep deprivation is used as torture.
In what universe does experiencing this countless of times when you're a literal teenager not affect you when you're an adult. Even when it doesn't happen anymore bc of semi proper pain management and meds to sleep. It haunts me. Still.
Hiii, I thought I'd make a post where I write some stuff about myself:) my handle used to be "trapped-in-a-burning-body"
So, intro facts:
▪︎ Danish
▪︎ 24 years old
▪︎ Nobinary lesbian
▪︎ My pronouns: they/them
▪︎ Disabled, lived with chronic pain for most of my life
▪︎ Studying medicine
I'm navigating going to uni while attempting to have a personal life and respect my body's boundaries. It's challenging on the best days, impossible on the worst. I've just learned how to bind books, and I've made a few too many already. I'm trying and failing to watch less netflix AND I've just started watching anime, which is very exciting. I love reading, mostly random medical books or fantasy, and I write poetry, mostly about being disabled.
I would love to connect with more people on here, so feel free to dm me:D
I've used a wheelchair for about a week now and I was soo nervous about it. But it's honestly been great, despite the minor accidents. I've gotten both thumbs stuck between the tire and the fender sideguard.. and I've tipped backwards onto the ground. But the worst part about that was that my open drink spilled everywhere:(
It feels easy, natural, amazing to just be able to move so freely with a lot less pain than before. I'm gonna be really sad, when I have to give it back.
Seeking advice: new wheelchair user
I will be using a wheelchair semi-regularly the next month to see if it will help reduce pain flare-ups / baseline pain and to figure out if it's helpful for me.
Tomorrow is the first day and I am going to uni and therapy. I have only used a wheelchair a couple of times but I'm comfortable with folding it and such as my dad's disabled and it's his wheelchair I'm borrowing. In theory I know how to maneuver around but I'm nervous about it.
Do any wheelchair-users have tips/advice for new wheelchair-users?
Extra info: it's a foldable wheelchair, brand is Quickie. I'm nervous about tipping backwards (no anti-tip), going up and down curbs, taking the metro, painful hands/arms/shoulders.
I forgot about this post. But I did it @wittlepuppydog. I didn't shave my head completely, I just got a short hairstyle instead. It was about 5 months ago now and I absolutely love it. It has made the pain considerably more bearable as hair is no longer brushing against my face constantly, and I no longer have to tie it up to get it out of the way (which also hurts).
Honestly, it's not even just about the pain. I feel more like me. I recognise myself in the mirror. I like my hair, I like my face - something I could never comfortably say before. It feels like my pain gave me a gift. I never thought I would say something like that about my chronic pain. But yeah, it has helped and I have never felt more like myself than I do now.
And people's reactions and their staring honestly haven't faced me. I don't care about it anymore. Also, it's hard to say whether they're staring bc of the hair or bc I'm young and disabled and walking with a cane.
Thought I'd add some pictures for reference;)
I've been considering shaving my head because of the pain. It's still constant and my hair makes it worse. Is it stupid? Will I regret it? Will I feel like I'm "giving in" to the pain? Does that even make sense? I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over the pain. And this feels like a way I can maybe at least not hurt myself more and gain a little control back? I don't know. I'm tired
I recently started using a cane everyday and so my previously invisible disability is suddenly visible. I also started medschool. It's been a while since I was properly social so I have questions...
People don't walk next to me. And if they accidentally do, they leave to walk next to someone else even if that means squeezing in three people on the sidewalk. No one talks to me if it's not to ask me "what's wrong". I have really tried to make an effort and talk to people but I don't know what to do.
Can it have something to do with my disability and my cane? Like they're scared to say the wrong thing? Or maybe it's because they've sensed the autism?;)
I recently went on a touristy vacation where I knew we were going to be walking a lot so I brought the cane I have with me. Mind you it was a 3ish week long vacation in a foreign country. I had bought a cane maybe a year before even though my doctor didn't think I needed it because "you could just sit down or not walk for long distances instead" and "you're too young to use a cane". So naturally I ignored her and followed my disabled friend's advice instead and bought a cane. But I barely used it because I got in my own head about not reaaally needing it and other internalised ableism stuff. Also people staring didn't help.
Fast forward to the vacation where I used it religiously. And it helped soo much! I noticed I could walk farther and walk for more days in a row, because my pain levels were lower. It helped so much that I could no longer justify not using it to myself.
Now it's 6 weeks later and I use my cane everyday.
Yeah, so where's my credit?🥺
Being chronically ill or having chronic pain is exhausting, but it's also normal for you after a while, so it's not really a bummer most of the time. It's just "oh yeah lol my hands usually feel like someone attacked them with small hammers" but you know, it's whatever.
That is, until one time you get up on the wrong side of the bed, or you're a bit hormonal, or too many other things go wrong, or you're just Sick Of It for a minute, and you completely break down and you can't stand the continuous discomfort, the tiredness, the pain, the having to remember medication, always keeping your guard up, dealing with risks day to day, watching your self care habits, not being able to work (and oftentimes having to anyway) etc etc. But then you're fine again and you go back to the small hammers and it's normal again.
It's tough living with that and never getting any credit for it, tbh
I've been considering shaving my head because of the pain. It's still constant and my hair makes it worse. Is it stupid? Will I regret it? Will I feel like I'm "giving in" to the pain? Does that even make sense? I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over the pain. And this feels like a way I can maybe at least not hurt myself more and gain a little control back? I don't know. I'm tired
It's so frustrating that my neurologist is so clearly in over his head. To my face he's denying that there's any uncertainty in the diagnosis he has given me and is blaming anything that doesn't fit on my mental health. But on paper he has gone back and forth between two diagnosises for months now. He is switching between the two every time he writes in my medical chart and when I ask him about it he denies that he's unsure. I can't fucking wait to start af the headache clinic
I've been dealing with some of the worst pain of my life for the past 6 ish months. Knowing it could have been avoided if my pain doc had not decided to stop one of my medications is bittersweet. If she had only listened when I told her the pain was worse. But she didn't care. She simply told me to try not to think about it. I should have fought harder but I was so exhausted and dissociated. I've finally started treatment for it again, I just hope it works fast. I'm so tired...
Can't believe it took me 8 years to realise that the random pain I get in half of my face for a couple of days to a week every other month is a migraine...
I always thought it didn't matter bc it's not every day like my fibro pain
My chronic pain has gotten worse every winter for the past 4ish years. And not just a flare up that goes away again but permanently worse. And I don't know if it's simply a coincidence that it happens every winter but I'm so nervous and scared because it's getting cold again.
I finally got the tattoo I've wanted for years😁 so I always have an extra spoon for bad days🥄
i- this needs to be shared, no matter if you need it or not.
Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!
it just registered to me that i might be physically disabled, but im scared to say it outloud
rant below the cut
my dad has EDS and i have all the syptoms, just less seveare, ive spent over an hour in the bathroon about to cry in pain, my shoulders almost constantly ache, one time a few years ago it got so bad so suddenly i felt like something was broken, for a couple days, my wrist and ankle amost are always just, uncomftable and ive been so nauseos i couldnt sleep all night cuz i was dry heaving because i got slightly sick, i use my dads topicle pain medicine on my wrist consistently and ocantially shoulders, hell ill get nausos if i drink to much to fast
but im still scared to say im disabled because unless its a flair up i can do most things (or im being stoped for mental reasons not physical),
but ive had times where i couldnt breath becuase my girl scout troop was hiking to fast, i cough like im dying when im fine,
i just started using a wrist brace my parents already had for my right wrist and it helps so much, i might need to fing the one for the other wrist and i also might need to get ankle braces, but i feel as though im faking it even though i know im not
please someone help me feel a but better about this