Batfamily Funny - Blog Posts

Orphan (sweetly): If you murder anyone while we're on a mission, I will kick you in the crotch first.

Red Hood (tilting his head, confused): First?

Orphan (seriously): I know specific nerve endings can cause immense pain. I love you, I do, but you know my code. While we're working together, don’t kill anybody. That's all I ask, or…

Red Hood (playfully challenging): You'll hurt a specific part of my body that really hurts?

Orphan nodded, her expression unwavering.

Red Hood (grinning, impressed): You're hardcore, but that's what I enjoy about you. I have rubber bullets. They won't kill anyone, just really hurt.

Orphan tapped her chin, contemplating his words, then shrugged casually.

Orphan: That works. Let’s go, baby brother!

With a giggle, Orphan jumped onto Red Hood's back, her arms wrapping around his neck.

Red Hood (chuckling as he adjusted her weight): You are a few months older than me. Why are you on my back like a monkey?

Orphan (giggling): My feet are tired, and you're strong.

Red Hood (amused, shaking his head): You're annoying.

Despite his playful complaint, he took off running, carrying her piggyback, both of them laughing as they dashed into the night.

Talia (singing, talking to Jason on her phone): Have you forgotten the lessons I taught you? He's still a threat until he's dead! Finish it.

Batman (connecting the dots): Are you the reason he does that?!

Talia: What are you talking about?

Ra's Al Ghul (smoking): Yes. I have a bunch of videos of them singing together.

Batman snatched the phone away making Talia angry and almost made Ra's attack, but Talia held up her hand to stop him.

Batman: Don't!

Jason (raising his sword for the kill but stopping himself): Oh shit, you're here too.

Talia: I enjoy musicals as well, what of it?

Batman: I knew it! WHY DO YOU ENCOURAGE HIM!

Ra's (in Arabic): La tasrakh ealayha! (Don't yell at her ass!)

Batman (speaking back in Arabic): Autlub minha 'an tatawaqaf ean altaathir ealaa abni! (Tell her to stop influencing my son!) Yeah I learned the language, jackass!

Ra's wanted badly stab the man, but walked off in a huff.

Talia: Don't blame me for him being a talented singer.

Talia held up her hand and walked off ending the conversation.

Batman (into the phone): Don't kill him!

Jason: But... I wanted to. I had a song for it and everything.

Batman (regrettably singing): What good would killing do? When mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use. The blood we shed, it never dries. Is this what it means to be a warrior of the mind? I hated all of that, but I'm doing it for you, remember that!

Damian on the other hand clapped making his father more embarrassed.

Jason: The bastard sung to make me stop. Damn it, fine.

Batman has to constantly remind them he's not going down with the sinking ship when it's not his fault

Superman: Yeah, so we're turning ourselves into the government. Do you want to meet us there, or should we meet with you?

Batman: …

Wonder Woman: Batman, we're on a time crunch. Just give us your answer.

Batman (while driving, hesitating): First, I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Second, my son, who is in the car with me, is also fine… thankfully. Third, are you on crack?

Superman: I… We as a team voted that it's best if we turn ourselves into the government.

Batman (flatly): That's a decision you made. You guys have fun with it. Can I go now?

Wonder Woman: You’re part of the team! You have to turn yourself in!

Batman: Says who?

Wonder Woman: We decided as a team!

Batman: Yes, good for you. Why am I being dragged into this?

Wonder Woman and Superman: YOU ARE PART OF THIS TEAM!

Damian (in the background): Father, can we get McFlurrys later?

Batman (to Damian): Why do people eat those? They taste disgusting.

Damian: You have to get the one with the Oreos.

Superman: We’re still on the call!

Batman (annoyed): Right, not going in. Bye.

Wonder Woman: Don’t end the call! You have to hear us out.

Batman: I should just hang up, but I’m bored and need something entertaining to listen to. Proceed.

Flash (speaking first): Take one for the team, Bruce.

Batman: Okay, first, when I'm on a call with any of you, call me by my hero name. Commissioner Gordon can get away with that, but I’m not on that level with most of you. Second, I’m not on this team if you want me to do this ridiculousness. Third, seriously, are you on crack?

Green Arrow (in the background): Thank you for not saying heroin.

Damian (in the background): Father, why do they think you’re dumb?

Batman: Because they’re not very smart.

Green Arrow (expecting this): It’s amazing how badly this is going. I told you guys he’d say no, but nobody listens to me.

Batman: This is one of the rare times I agree with Arrow. I didn't sign up for a team where we all turn ourselves in for something I didn’t do.

Superman: It’s a team decision.

Batman: I don’t care.

Superman: But it’s for solidarity.

Batman: That I don’t care about.

Superman: Again, we’re a hero team. We’ve saved the world together; can’t you do this one little thing?

Green Lantern (Hal): And his response is…

Batman: Fighting villains, I enjoy. I wouldn’t be on a sports team, a firefighter team, or a doctor team with you if you're going to be this dense, and I sure as hell won't be on this team if you want me to do something this stupid. Is the brain cell you share gone for the day?

Superman: Okay, well… Kara is going with us.

Batman: And I've lost a little respect for her.

Supergirl: Hey! Wait, you had respect for me?

Batman: Did you contact any of my adult kids? Nightwing? Red Robin? I know Red Hood would just laugh before hanging up.

Superman: We haven't called them yet… but I bet they'd say yes!

Batman: No, they wouldn’t. I know that because they just texted my youngest son, who’s with me, and their messages say, “Not a chance in hell.” I didn’t even have to say anything. I raised them well.

Superman: Can’t you put aside your ego and just do this for us?

Batman: Who’s going to pick up my son from school? Go to my daughter's recital? Attend my other son’s group therapy session? Talk to my future fiancée about where I’ll be? Just curious, which one of you will handle that?

Batman waited for a few seconds, and none of the members responded.

Batman: Right. As stated, I'm not going, and if you call me again with this stupid request, I'm cutting the power to the building for a month. I will let that building decay to prove a point.

Damian: You tell 'em, Father!

Batman ended the video call without another word.

Wonder Woman: He’s getting calmer with his reactions.

Green Arrow: Yeah… Guys, maybe we don’t turn ourselves in this time. Maybe we… do something else? Anything else, because he has a point. I'm not sinking in the Titanic when there's a lifeboat.

Aquaman: Good Titanic metaphor.

Green Arrow: Thanks, man.

jason es un hermano amoroso pero raro

So I get the idea in my head that Jason is a very loving brother, but in his own way. They never showed him any real affection, but sometimes his mother did, but in a weird, silly way. Jason usually arrives at the mansion pushing everyone with his broad shoulders and weird smile. But then when he's feeling genuinely sentimental, he comes and steals his brothers' food. It doesn't matter that he doesn't even like Damian's vegan food. He just takes a bite and moves on. But then he sits down, looks his brothers in the eyes, and with a thick, intimidating voice, says, "Tim, I love you, but... I'd trade you for a pizza." He always does that. He mentions anything edible, and that's it. His brothers are offended and touched by it, so they usually give him chocolates as a token of affection or cook something he really likes so that when Jason steals their food, he'll enjoy it.

Básicamente escribo esto porque es lo que yo hago con mis hermanos.

Porciento vi un post de que Jason es fan de las donitas Bimbo pero la verdad yo soy fiel creyente de que el es el fan número 1 de los buñuelos Bimbo. No puedo dejar de imaginar cómo alfred lo regala porque deja boronas en la baticomputadora

bebe jay

Well then I discovered that it is no good trying to use Ibis Paint for the first time at 2 am on my broken tablet

So I have this idea that at first Batman took Jason to the league meetings because he's definitely better behaved than Dick.Jason usually sits in a corner and watches or just plays. But today he was trying to finish his volcano project Barry and Hal were still playing next to each other they didn't bother to move because they thought Robin would dodge anything but Today Robin was too focused on his homework. Then Robin gets hit so hard and at first they think it's nothing, they saw the boy get thrown out of a window,They think it's nothing to him. But then Robin starts running around crying, yelling "DAD" and just jumping on Batman while crying even louder. Batman is the father of that gentle child?

Estoy trabajando de mejorar mi inglés con esto , espero funcione