Actually Traumagenic

nuclear-graveyard

1 year ago

This is truly beautiful work <3

wonderful

The comic consists of 18 images. Each image is drawn with a light, yellowish-gray background, and is accompanied by a small, faintly colored doodle and a line or few of text. The text in the first image reads, "An old cat's words to systems who feel isolated from the others, unseen, or otherwise invalid: My name is Yellowfang. It is a pleasure to share my thoughts with you." (End text.) The drawing shows a cat sitting amongst a small patch of flowers reminiscent of daisies. The cat is, as described, named Yellowfang. She is an introject of the character of the same name, from the series, "Warriors". She has dark-grey, nearly black, fur, with a flattened face or muzzle. Around her muzzle is lighter grey fur. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "(Underlined.) A disclaimer: (End underline.) This post is not meant to be diagnostic. You should still meet diagnostic criterias for DID or OSDD in order to have it. This is only meant to refer to the different ways that DID or OSDD can present itself in those with it." (End text.) The drawing in this image is the same as the previous. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "I feel comfortable saying that my system is one that is majority made up of (quote.) uncommon (end quote.) functions and qualities. Each one has made us feel a little more insecure and troubled, wondering, (quote.) Does this invalidate the rest of our experiences? (end quote.) (quote.) Are we truly a system if we do not experience things exactly as everyone else appears to? (end quote.)" (End text.) The drawing shows a feminine-presenting person, the original poster's system's body, standing, and facing, off to the right side. They are wearing a black hoodie, and their arms are crossed underneath their chest and most of their face is obscured by their mid-length, reddish-orange hair. However, what can be seen of their face shows discontent eyes. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Some of these differences... such as not having a headspace, memory blackouts, or even a host... prevented us from knowing we were a system for many years. We disregarded the possibility time and time again due to the lack of these seemingly (begin italics.) essential (end italics.) experiences." (End text.) The drawing is of three people. On the right is the system's body from the previous images. The other two are undefined humans with no distinguishing traits or features, other than a general form and mouth expression. The two unspecified humans are smiling and engaging in conversation with one another. Meanwhile, the system body from before is not engaging with them, and is instead appearing depressed or left-out. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "But even after we acknowledged we likely have OSDD-1b, these differences weighed us down, making us feel as though we were faking what was happening to us." (End text.) The drawing shows the back of the system's body and the faint silhouettes of, presumably, the two unspecified humans from the previous image. The system body is reaching out to them with one hand, but the other arm is chained to something out of frame. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "However... we came to peace with them in time. In long time, perhaps, but in time. With great time and exploration were we able to speculate and make sense of why we function in some of the ways that we do." (End text.) The drawing shows part of the chain from before, however there is a break in the middle of it, separating it into two. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "In honesty, our differences brought us to respect and care for ourselves much more. It allowed us to acknowledge how even the smallest of struggles throughout our life, and the tiniest of details about ourselves can web together to create such intricately and frighteningly effective ways to help us survive." (End text.) The drawing shows the back of Yellowfang's head off to the left, with the main focus being on another figure. This figure is a feminine humanoid-owl, an introject of Octavia from "Helluva Boss". She is wearing a black jacket and a beanie with a crown over the front of it. She is holding her hands together out of view and smiling off to the side. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "After all, being a system is for survival, not for convenience. It is convoluted, frustrating, with seemingly endless questions and concerns! And it may not always be so clear and straight-forward. Is this something you see yourselves in?" (End text.) The drawing now shows the front of Yellowfang's face. She has a slight smile, but is otherwise just looking forward fondly. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe... you have never seen your personal experiences discussed amongst other systems. Perhaps it hasn't bothered you, if so, or maybe it has?" (End text.) The drawing shows an unspecified human standing off to the right, shrugging nonchalantly. To the left are several empty text boxes with a few exclamation marks. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Perhaps you are a very large system. Perhaps you are a small one." (End text.) There is two drawings to correlate to each sentence. The first one shows a large number of small doodles of humanoid figures. The second shows only three. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe not much about your system makes sense to you. Or maybe most things do?" (End text.) There are two drawings, similar to the previous image. They are set next to each other. They are both two unspecified humans. The one on the left is shrugging with a frown and confused expression on their eyebrows. The human on the right is holding two items in both hands; one is a unlabelled notebook, and the other is a notepad with one page flipped over the top. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe you have introjects, or are one, who is nothing like your source. Or, perhaps you are near-identical to it, like looking into a reflection." (End text.) Like previously, there are two drawing to represent each scenario. Each drawing shows a view of the back of two figures, presumed introjects. The first one is a girl with a black high-ponytail. The sides of her head are shaved and are white. She has dark skin with lighter patches across some areas, though most is out of view. She is wearing a headpiece and armored shoulders, with one black sleeve down one arm. There is a red diamond on the shoulder of the sleeve. The second introject is a grey animatronic wolf with thick, fluffy white hair with green dyed in the front. She is wearing a red top and has piercings in one of her ears. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Perhaps you have a very complex, intricate inner world. Or maybe your inner world is compact and simple. Maybe you have no inner world at all." (End text.) There is two drawings to correlate with the first two scenarios. There is space left for a third drawing, for the final scenario, but it is left empty with no drawing. The first drawing shows a large landscape, focusing on a lake with a few small houses. It is surrounded by a forest, with mountain peaks and city buildings in the background. The second drawing simply shows a couch beside a door. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe your system splits very easily and often. Maybe it takes a great lot for you to. You may function one way, or another, or a mix of both, or something that is entirely different." (End text.) There is two drawings to represent the first two sentences and scenarios. Each is a drawing of two small doodles of humanoids. The first shows five, with one slightly leaned forward as if in distress. The second drawing has only two humanoids, with one also leaned in distress. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "You are doing wonderfully, whichever you see yourself in, or any other that I could not include. That is what is so important to me... my inability to include. I could sit here for hours, detailing all the different possibilities for how systems may function, and I will still never be able to capture it all. It seems no two systems are exactly the same, even when they may appear to have overlapping experiences on the surface." (End text.) The drawing is of four flowers, each in different colors. One is not yet bloomed. Two of the flowers have four petals, and one only has three. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "It is not pleasant or fair what led us to be the ways we are now. Being a system... It can be so dreadful and miserable, yet sometimes wonderful and comforting, and other times absolutely terrifying. But the fact that you are here now, despite everything, surely must show something. These little differences you may have-- you may not see it, but I believe that they contribute to what strengthens you. You are strong because you are here." (End text.) The drawing is the same as before, but the image has become slightly more transparent and less visible. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Treat yourself with the love and respect that you deserve. Do not insult yourself and your strength by negatively comparing your individual experience to another's. You are no less, and no greater, than any other system." (End text.) The drawing is of Yellowfang, slightly bent forward with her eyes closed and a stem of flowers in her mouth. The flowers are various shades of pink with wavy-shaped petals. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "You are wonderful, and I am very proud that you are here to read this. I want you to be proud of this, too. You are here. You exist. Just know that out there is a mere old cat rooting for you." (End text.) The drawing is now the stem of flowers on its own. (End ID.) The comic ends.

i don't know if we will leave this up, because we aren't sure if it comes across how we would like. but the alter who wrote this, yellowfang, has wanted to create it for some time, so we opted to try.

we, once again, apologize for any art style inconsistencies. the comic artwork itself was worked on by several of us.

Tags

system stuff did osdd osddid osdd system traumagenic system did community system introject alters traumagenic osdd actually dissociative osdd 1b actually plural fictives system blog endo neutral other specified dissociative disorder osdd did system comic actually traumagenic traumagenic osdd

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nebulus-collective

1 month ago

Sory for just randomly venting I just have to get this off my chest.

I look for DID and traumagenic content for the relatability, and I just see rampent anti endo/willogenic/mixed origin systems etc.

I just hate how rampent this is. Maybe I've just been in an echo chamber for a while, but the plurality tags are so much more accepting and just better imo.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk.

Tags

endo safe plurality anti endos dni actually plural pluralpunk actually traumagenic

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nebulus-collective

1 month ago

Exactly, like wtf.

...why are there so many singlet alterhumans who are vocally anti-endo....what are they even doing. like these people could be the most radical inclusive physical nonhumans ever that are actively trying to normalize "weird" mental health things and all that crap, and your cursor hovers over the follow button, but then you realize that their dni says "ENDOS F*** YOURSELF KGJHAGSWDJDWJDKADS" huh??? first of all we're your freaking cousins, second of all that's not even your battle to fight

Tags

anti endos dni actually plural pluralpunk actually traumagenic

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nebulus-collective

1 month ago

As a traumagenic system I do not feel safe in the systempunk community, anti-endos are not our allies, they will fakeclaim you, harass you and laugh about it to your face. They don't care about us! If you want your traumagenic spaces I can understand but using those spaces to spread hate on our cousins and siblings doesn't make it a safe space, it makes it a space primed for attacks on anyone deemed "bad" or "wrong" which when you are a system... can be for any reason.

I will always be pluralpunk! I believe in a future for all of us not just the "correct" systems.

Tags

pro endo actually did pluralpunk actually traumagenic

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polyfragmentedsyscourse

3 years ago

I've experienced similar things. Every endo that has responded to me, on this blog and on other platforms, has brought up the "there's little to no research on this disorder so there's no way to know" argument. Yeah, no shit. That's why I don't believe that you're real. There's no evidence to say you are real. No study has been done yet on endos. You can't prove anything.

Endos and supporters use the little research argument to prove that they are real. Babe, you aren't making a point.

It's like saying magic is real because no one has documented it yet. Sounds dumb, yeah?

I do not care. Endogenic systems aren't real systems. They are taking our real, debilitating experiences, and using them for pitty and internet points.

I have been told to kill myself

I have been told I'm lucky to have trauma

I've been told I am lucky to be so fucked up

I've been told I'm lucky to have such severe PTSD

All from endogenics.

I will not consider them real systems until I am given a legitimate, scientific study, proving me wrong.

That is my opinion. If that makes you mad, block me.

My disorder will not be used to gain sympathy.

Tags

txt ☆ˎˊ˗ anti endo syscourse actually traumagenic fuck endos

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chalkworldsys

1 month ago

brave of you to explore system tumblr bc the amount of ppl spreading blatant misinformation would make me explode. we admire ur patience

NONNIE you would not believe how many times we've internally exploded.

like how can people be SO stupid. 🔇's favorite thing literally used to be scrolling on endo tags and bitching them out (NEVER like. Actually. To their face. It was always outloud or in our head.)

THANK YOU THOUGH NONNIE !!! I hate misinformation and I hate endos <3

Tags

endos dni anti endo did osdd did system endos fuck off actually did anti willogenic actually traumagenic anti nontraumagenic anti endogenic

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chalkworldsys

4 months ago

pro endos id like to see u defend this..

Tags

endos dni anti endo endos fuck off sysblr traumagenic system syscourse anti willogenic anti tulpa actually traumagenic fuck endos anti nontraumagenic anti endogenic endos arent real

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chalkworldsys

4 months ago

THIS !! I can NOT stress this enough. OSDDID is not something fun to have, sure it has its positives (positive experiences) But it's still a trauma disorder. I'm tired of seeing radqueers on here saying "fuck you anti radqueers !! I'm gonna form a system becuase I can :3 I want dissociative amnesia ! I want horrifying flashbacks >w< and I want to have split headaches so bad they're crippling! >:3" I wish every radqueer, endo, pro endo, endo neutral a very get well. A very get educated. It hurts to see these types of people refuse to understand how NOT FUCKING FUN these DISORDERS are, which mind you are INVOLUNTARY. You cannot pick and choose having OSDDID.

DID is more than just having parts. Its also,

• amnesia

• confusion

• headaches

• nausea

• repeated childhood trauma

• anxiety

• spikes in fear. Anger. Or shame

• mood swings from parts

• body dysphoria

• depersonalization

• derealization

• self puzzlement

• loss of control

• flashbacks

• dizziness

And more.

DID is not "friends in your head" its traumatic, scary and uncomfortable. Its not fun it's a terrifying TRAUMA BASED disorder. And it should never be romanticized - Vesper

Tags

endos dni did anti endo systempunk syspunk did osdd did system dissociative system traumagenic system system dissociative identity disorder osdd actually did anti radqueer anti willogenic not endo safe actually traumagenic fuck endos anti nontraumagenic anti endogenic actually system endos are ableist endos not for you

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chalkworldsys

5 months ago

THIS.

Endos arent a part of syspunk bcause ableism isnt punk

Tags

endos dni anti endo systempunk syspunk endos fuck off actually traumatized actually did actually plural actually a system actually osdd anti willogenic actually traumagenic fuck endos anti nontraumagenic anti endogenic endos arent real endos are ableist pro endos dni pro endos fuck off endos arent valid

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chalkworldsys

1 year ago

inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.

Tags

endos dni did osdd did system endos fuck off teehee feeling silly actually traumagenic endos not for you i would be delighted!!! please talk to us !!! ever so lonely

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paddingpaws

1 month ago

For us, we’re not plural because we’re daemons. We’re plural because of trauma.

But like, would we still be plural without it? It’s an interesting question. I like to think I’d still exist as a daemon.

Tags

did osdd mia daemon daemonism daemian endo neutral actually traumagenic

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Actually Traumagenic - Blog Posts

wonderful