‏تذكير كل يوم:

I LOVE YOU SM JOUD, YOU'RE SO CUTE

UR THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE <33333333

كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

"Every son of Adam sins, and the best of the sinners are the repentant."

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2499

A Burning Hill / The Only Heartbreaker – Mitski

(Idealism is a disease) by joud abu rashed

Idealism is a disease

Once it enters your system it feeds off of your mistakes

It spreads like a wildfire making you quake

Symptom after symptom you start to hallucinate

A thought becomes a reality

There’s no real definition of actuality

All you can do is live in brutality

And endure that cruelty

There’s no one to blame but that little voice in your head

Making you wish on sweet death

Whispering to you as if it was your own closest friend

The doctors say there’s a cure

One that’s pure

But there’s a price

First you have to apologize

To the body you forced to idealize 

A vulnerable state of you past mistakes

Drowning you in a lake

The water reflects an image of grief and regret  

As it overwhelms you slowly you start to forget

A cold breeze of acceptance washes all over you

A warm feeling is new

A smile takes over you

Now you are cured.

this poem speaks about my struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. I hope you find a sense of comfort in it 

THE OTHER SIDE

theirs this wall made of iron and steal blocking me of the far near I'm no brave man to climb all for I fear the fall Lost, I always seem to walk around its edges What is behind, I ask myself too many times maybe a gleamy forest withholding lilly fields but in my mind it's dark full of starving wolves that lurk curiosity is a sin, I need a redeemer some say it is liberating to be a dreamer but is the freedom worth the injury?

Nostalgia

“don’t worry, shell eventually grow out of it’’

I never did

Change: A process through which something becomes different

With growth comes along change

I grew, yet I remain the same.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia evoking me, an attachment grasping me in what seems to be the past

‘’move on’’ How can I leave what tended to structure me?

In a manner I am an adult, yet a sense of maturity is still to be held

I’m taller!, I’ve grown! Somehow a child reminisces within me, a child which Iv not abandoned, he isn’t what I used to be, he is what I am, maybe not fully but an essence still floats within me, and I carry it wherever I go.

I remember you falling into my river, and I remember your little pink shoe.

Spirited Away (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

Mahmoud Darwish, tr. by Fady Joudah, from The Butterfly’s Burden; “Take my horse and slaughter it”

this search for the essence of who I am

TRUTH UNTOLD - by Joud Aburashed

I have so much to say But the world might decay Fear hurts not as much as regret  So I sharpen my sword ready to strike For my words are a weapon filled with might I look into the eyes of those souls Who were taught to keep their words behold Reassurance floods as for me I'm bold This is a new chance For righteousness to breed and enhance  Something weighs on my shoulder  It burns like ice yet even colder  So I release Finally feeling relief  This wasn't a war  This was for peace  For what is most valuable to me My morals that run glee So speak up for what you believe  You might feel relief