THE OTHER SIDE

— But… the sensation that I’ve lost something lingers for a long time after I wake up. YOUR NAME (2016) dir. Makoto Shinkai

no shape, no form.

I stare at the vanity 

Yet, My eyes aren't looking 

All that is there for me to see is a figure

It blurs and blurs I still cannot figure 

No shape, no form 

I must reform 

How? It’s said souls flow into creeks 

Taking the shape they please

But I cannot fit into a mold 

I have no definition 

Nothing worthy of attention 

Maybe this is how it’s meant to be

 floating around with no destiny 

I'll do that for eternity 

I'll latch into what I find in front of me

Till one day it tells me it needs me

I don't know who I am 

But maybe that's fate

For I aspire to elate within everything 

Nothing in this world and its luxuries 

Can limit me 

I simply am free. 

“Who has seen the wind? Neither I nor you: But when the leaves hang trembling, The wind is passing through.” - 'The Wind Rises'.  

my world~

idealism is a disease

the letter

Day-Dream

Attack on titian

Truth untold

A little boat at the sea

a tall child

The other side

no shape, no form.

a rainbow of van gogh—

in order: Peach Tree in Bloom (in memory of Mauve), 1888 / Red Poppies and Daisies, 1890 / Willows at Sunset, 1888 / The Sower (Sower with Setting Sun), 1888 / Undergrowth with Two Figures, 1890 / Landscape with Couple Walking and Crescent Moon, 1890 / Branches with Almond Blossom, 1890 / Starry Night Over the Rhone, 1888 / Irises, 1889 / Wheat Field With Cypresses, 1889

Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.

Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.

Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.

Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.

Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.

Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of "grinding" is better than not doing anything at all.

Don't beat yourself up for not being "productive enough". A little productivity is still productivity.

(Idealism is a disease) by joud abu rashed

Idealism is a disease

Once it enters your system it feeds off of your mistakes

It spreads like a wildfire making you quake

Symptom after symptom you start to hallucinate

A thought becomes a reality

There’s no real definition of actuality

All you can do is live in brutality

And endure that cruelty

There’s no one to blame but that little voice in your head

Making you wish on sweet death

Whispering to you as if it was your own closest friend

The doctors say there’s a cure

One that’s pure

But there’s a price

First you have to apologize

To the body you forced to idealize 

A vulnerable state of you past mistakes

Drowning you in a lake

The water reflects an image of grief and regret  

As it overwhelms you slowly you start to forget

A cold breeze of acceptance washes all over you

A warm feeling is new

A smile takes over you

Now you are cured.

this poem speaks about my struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. I hope you find a sense of comfort in it 

I LOVE YOU SM JOUD, YOU'RE SO CUTE

UR THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE <33333333

Nostalgia

“don’t worry, shell eventually grow out of it’’

I never did

Change: A process through which something becomes different

With growth comes along change

I grew, yet I remain the same.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia evoking me, an attachment grasping me in what seems to be the past

‘’move on’’ How can I leave what tended to structure me?

In a manner I am an adult, yet a sense of maturity is still to be held

I’m taller!, I’ve grown! Somehow a child reminisces within me, a child which Iv not abandoned, he isn’t what I used to be, he is what I am, maybe not fully but an essence still floats within me, and I carry it wherever I go.

You're the sun, you've never seen the night But you hear its song from the morning birds Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds- Mitski ‘’Your Best American Girl’‘

Night sky