Henry: Let's Kill Bunny.

I want to read a fanfiction about Henry and Richard being an AU version of Sherlock and Watson.

The scene where Richard tells Henry about the moon landing and Sherlock telling Watson he doesn't know the earth revolves around the sun are just......

💫perfection💫

Imagine the shenanigans they will get into. Henry being the smartass who doesn't know how the metro works (or the modern world to an extent) and Richard being his babysitter/oblivious partner (who doesn't know what the fuck is happening) and they are roommates! (Omg, they were roommates)

They even have the same unresolved homoerotic tension like Sherlock and Watson.

Ps: Richard used to study Medicine in the past and Watson is a Doctor....boom

Favourite Jane Austen novels (a.k.a all books)

1. Emma

2. Pride and Prejudice

3. Northanger Abbey

4. Persuasion

5. Mansfield Park

6. Sense and Sensibility

7. Lady Susan

The many stages of depression: (TW)

Depression is one of those feelings that a lot of people have experienced at least sometimes in their lives. It is quite correct to state that everyone at one point in their life have been through it or will go through it. Some get depressed more than others; it could be due to environment, abuse, loss, bullying, mental disorders, stress, poor health, etc.

It is something widely experienced but not widely explained. The mystery of why depression happens to certain people can boil down to their psychological state but should not be considered the single parameter for its existence. Depression like cancer can happen to anyone regardless of any amount of money, status, love or psycological wellness they have. And like Cancer you can't just tell someone with depression to just ignore it or say they are overreacting.

As someone who goes through bouts of seasonal depression and lives in a place where depression is not even considered "real". I have broken down depression according to personal experience into 5 stages.

I am not a medical professional ( I do want to become a psychologist) or someone who can give advice on this topic. But as a patient of depression for around 2 years I can give a little insight into it. Just because I said there are 5 stages doesn’t mean it has to be these stages only, or in the same order.

Here it goes:

1. Anger: just like the stages of grief I always thought the 1st step towards depression starts with anger. It could be outbursts, sudden rage, irritation, annoyance, physical reactions such as intensive urge to kick or punch something (I always have days when I want to burn buildings down and kill my classmates). These reactions can be due to the sudden change in mentality we get before full blown depression kicks in. When we just hate every thing. Everything is stupid. Everyone is being annoying. One of our 1st reactions to anything upsetting is to be mad about it. Depression is not an exception. Anger is where you start. When you start to blame everything around your for causing the pain you are going through. This stage is very important, it is always good to take out your anger before it becomes too much. During this stage I am at my peak of annoyance and can be diabolical.

2. Paranoia: the stage that continues what anger started. This is when realisation kicks in that something is wrong in your mind. You can become paranoid of everything around you. Why is my friend ignoring me for 5 minutes? Why did my parents became quiet when I walked in? Why does it feel like someone is watching me? Why can’t I trust anyone? This is when you are at your peak in terms of insanity. I have been in this stage for the most part of my depressive episodes. Especially as an intuitive, paranoia can be disturbing and harmful to your mental health. It makes you question silly things that don’t even matter for the sake of increasing your blood pressure and start to isolate you from social life. That’s where stage 3 will come

3. Withdrawal: not the withdrawal due to addiction. This is when you start isolating yourself from others. Paranoia put the seed of doubt in your mind about people and how you don’t want them to be near you. People can be a problem sometimes. And this stage is just what being isolated means. This is also the stage people are the most familiar with, because it is often what depression is portrayed as: isolating yourself from other humans as way to build a wall to protect yourself from what paranoia caused. During this time I stop taking calls from my friends, family, anyone. I stop messaging or replying. I often stopped eating with family or having lunch at school with my friends. As an introvert this stage isn’t even that hard, but there is a difference between the choice of isolating yourself because you don’t like to be around strange people and the want to isolate from people you care about.

4. Sadness: the most well known stage of depression, some people mistake it for the definition of depression, which is so wrong. After isolating yourself, you become vulnerable. This is that stage of vulnerability and mostly when people start to have negative thoughts (suicidal thoughts). Sadness itself can’t be explained that well, other than that it leads negativity, hopelessness and the lack of interest in anything cheerful. When I get into this stage, my depression is the most apparent to other people. This is when my mom steps in and ask if things are wrong. And I say #fine when I am so not. Sadness can manifest in tears, coldness, increased self awareness, intrusive and harmful thoughts etc. This is one of the hardest and longest stages to overcome. Yet not as harmful as the next one…

5. Numbness: let me deep breathe before this……this is the most dangerous stage of depression. Every stage before this one had some sort of emotion in it. Anger, paranoia, withdrawn, sadness. But Numbness is the lack of any emotion that can be experienced, even negative ones. You lose all your hope. All your wishes and goals. Everything becomes a barren wasteland of nothingness. The lack of emotions is the worst thing that can happen to you. Just like how you die when your heart stops beating, having numbness to emotions will as in many cases lead to death. Unfortunately, this is the stage when most suicides take places. The inability to have any interest in life and getting overwhelmed from the fact you stopped living the moment you stopped feeling. Have I been in this stage? Yes. But since I am alive there must be a way out of it.

When I said 5 stages of depression, it was meant for those who sadly ended their lives because of it. Stage 6 is for those who made it out alive.

6. Acceptance: again like the stages of grief Depression ends with acceptance. Accepting your problems (I am the problem it's me!), accepting yourself as a problem, accepting help from people who care for you and accepting the little hope left deep down. If you made it to this stage, you are capable of doing anything you want.

Note: You are worth it! (Can't believe I AM saying this) And if you are going through depression or anything related to that, remember that one of reasons to stay alive is to pull revenge on all the people you hate. Maybe in future you can show your haters that the reason they hate you is beacuse of how strong willed you are. You don't have to prove your talents. You don't have to accomplish things to justify your existence. You are here for nobody but yourself. Be selfish, be a bitch and live out the best life there is.

Every winter all I think about is a holiday in a snowy place, in a village perhaps, where no one talks to me or see me. Where I can sit in front of the fire and drink hot tea listening to classical music and read novels. Where I can smile as much as I want. Cry as much as I want. Nothing comes in my way, I don't come in the way of others. I just exist. I don't have anything to worry about, anything to look forward to.

Taylor Swift is like a friend to me, a therapist, a mentor, a sister, a cool aunt. She just makes me feel understood. It's hard to describe what kind of parasocial relationship this is but I am happy it's there.

*Atsushi drinking for the first time with the ADA*

Dazai: Atsushi-kun now that you have drunk, say goodbye to your childhood, you are an adult now!!!

Atsushi, smiling obliviously: I never had a childhood.

Dazai:

ADA:

Dazai: me neither

Yosano: Have any of us had a normal childhood?

Ranpo: I had a dad when I was 14, does that count?

Kunikida: how many of you have gone to a proper school?

*no one answers*

Dazai: but most of us have killed people!

Kunikida: is that a good thing?

Reading IWWV was such a journey. While I did enjoy TSH, it never broke me like IWWV did. The book is shorter than TSH but has more impact than the prior. The style, the writing, the characters and the story is so vastly different yet same as TSH. The thing about it is, I can read TSH as many times as I want, get new theories and discover more details. But I couldn't read IWWV even ounce after the first read, because all I could feel was pain.

Francis: Rules are made to be broken.

Henry: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Richard : Uh, piñatas.

Charles : Glow sticks.

Camilla: Karate boards.

Bunny: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Francis: Rules.

Henry:

I watched Persuasion (2022) and can't BELIEVE how terrible it was. Like I heard it was bad. But I never thought I would get so much cringe from a Jane Austen movie.....

As if writers actually think gen Z won't understand Jane Austen's writing.

The reason we read Jane Austen is to read lines like

"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you"

Have I memorised that....YES!!!

Persuasion (2022) tried to be the next Emma (2020) but became Bridgerton.

"if they are enemies, let them stay enemies. They are enemies in the canon 😡"

Me: No they are lovers, hope that helps ❤️❤️