Shakespeare Incorrect Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 4

Shakespeare Incorrect Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 4

Benedick : Am I right, Beatrice?

Beatrice: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Hero: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Hero, gesturing to Beatrice and Benedick fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

Friar Francis: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?

Imogen: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

Benedick: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

Benedick: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Beatrice: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Hero: While I'm gone, you're in charge Claudio.

Claudio: Yes!

Hero, whispering to Beatrice: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad.

Beatrice: Obviously.

Beatrice: What do I get?

Benedick: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Beatrice: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Benedick: It won't be you.

Beatrice: I'll get my coat.

Hero, pointing a camera at Beatrice: There they are, our sweet baby.

Beatrice, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?

Beatrice: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

Claudio: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Beatrice: And you came to me?

Claudio: Hero, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Hero: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Claudio: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Benedick.

Hero: Wait- Claudio, no-

*At the police station*

Beatrice: Hi, I’m here for Benedick.

Police officer: Who’s Benedick?

Beatrice: Ah, you must be new.

Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Hero: But we lost Claudio.

Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Beatrice, to Claudio: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Hero: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Claudio: Mine just says "Claudio no."

Hero: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Beatrice: I didn't drink that much last night.

Hero: You were flirting with Benedick.

Beatrice: So what? They're my partner.

Hero: You asked if they were single.

Hero: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Claudio: I only have 6 weeks left to live.

Don Pedro: Oh my god, really?!

Claudio: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.

Leonato: I just found out from Hero today that when Claudio died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Beatrice said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”

Beatrice: Benedick and I got married!!

Hero: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Beatrice: Claudio, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-

Claudio: Aww, thanks-

Beatrice: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Beatrice: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Claudio: Benedick, why are you standing in front of the fan?

Benedick: I’m waiting for Beatrice to look into our window when they come home. When the fan is blowing on me, I look like a fancy supermodel.

Claudio: You want Beatrice to think you’re a supermodel?

Benedick: Giving them eye candy is the least I can do. It’ll probably be the best part of their walk!

Claudio, sarcastically: You’re selfless.

Benedick: Thank you for noticing.

Hero: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

Beatrice, poking Hero’s arm: Hero Hero. Hero. Hero.

Hero: WHAT?

Beatrice: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

Claudio: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*

Benedick, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

Claudio: Hey, Benedick? Can I get some dating advice?

Benedick: Just because I'm with Beatrice doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Beatrice: I hate you.

Benedick: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Benedick: Beatrice and I are no longer dating.

Beatrice: Benedick, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Claudio: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Hero: *blushing* I—

Benedick, butting into the conversation: Beatrice is perfect, thanks for asking.

More Posts from Theangelwithawand and Others

1 year ago

So, I’m rewatching Season 1 of Good Omens because we are hours away from Season 2. (I’m very normal about this obviously).

Anyway, I noticed a line that I had never really thought about.

And I finally realized just how hopeful this series is. It’s something I so desperately needed so enjoy…

After Warlock’s birthday when Aziraphale and Crowley are in the car, Crowley mentions that “it’s the last [party] they’ll ever have”.

So…he doesn’t think this plan is going to work. He thinks the world is going to end, The whole “influence the antichrist” plan is his idea, but he doesn’t think it will work.

The funny explanation is that he is convinced after seeing Warlock’s behavior (which included bullying Aziraphale. How dare), he comes to the conclusion that Warlock (who he still believes is the antichrist at this point) is pure evil.

However, Crowley has been visibly less optimistic about their chances (as seen on the bus) for awhile.

Even after Dog is named he bleakly states “we’re doomed.” Yes, he could mean himself and Aziraphale, but his back-up plan is to run away together. I like to think he’s including the two of them along with the humans. Earth is their home as much as it is the humans.

But despite everything, he still tries. He still does his best to save the Earth.

Yeah, he doesn’t want to lose his easy life on Earth where he doesn’t need to work hard and he can drink and drive and listen to music and see Aziraphale relatively unnoticed.

But deep down, despite all of the bad he sees humanity commit, he still thinks that they are worth saving.

When he’s in his apartment, yelling at God, he expresses that She “shouldn’t test them (humanity) to destruction. Not to the end of the world.”

A demon from Hell who has seen the worst of humanity for 6000 years still thinks we’re worth saving. Because he’s also seen the good. And for him, that’s enough.

And that’s honestly so beautiful.


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2 months ago

Those who avoid anti-AI discourse are the ones who don't like getting exposed or called-out as lazy or brain-dead.

Deep down, they already know that.

1 year ago

Star Wars Headcanon:

When Leia makes her light saber, she styles the hilt to look like the Rhindon sword.


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4 months ago

Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

Photoshop’s new terms of service require users to grant Adobe access to their active projects for “content moderation” and other purposes pic.twitter.com/weRjMfWvxx

— Dexerto (@Dexerto) June 5, 2024
Here it is. If you are a professional, if you are under NDA with your clients, if you are a creative, a lawyer, a doctor or anyone who works with proprietary files - it is time to cancel Adobe, delete all the apps and programs. Adobe can not be trusted. pic.twitter.com/LFnBbDKWLC

— Wetterschneider (@Stretchedwiener) June 5, 2024
2 years ago

There are spoilers for HTTYD 2 below: (sorry I didn’t warn before).

They really did Astrid dirty in the second film. It’s pretty much her fault that Berk gets attacked and Stoick dies, because she goes on that rant to Drago. Yes, sometimes she’s hot-headed and impulsive, but she’s not stupid especially when it comes to military tactics.

I’m also not saying characters aren’t allowed to make mistakes, but no one in universe really seems to care about what Astrid did. She never gets a chance to make up for it, and gets reduced to nothing more than Hiccup’s cheerleader by the end. Now, I love supportive Astrid, but she needs to be more than that.

Literally all they had to do was have Eret be the one to tell Drago that the Riders of Berk were coming after him and that the man on the Night Fury will come for them when Drago is physically threatening to kill him. Then he can still have the same redemption, but it would be even more impactful and Astrid wouldn’t come off looking like the moron she isn’t.


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1 year ago

Good Omens S2 Incorrect Quotes 2

Nina: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

§

Nina: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

§

Crowley: So jellyshish-

Nina, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?

Crowley: You know what I meant!

§

Maggie: Made you all playlists!

Maggie: Nina, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Maggie: Crowley, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Maggie: And Muriel has the ABBA Gold album.

§

Crowley: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

§

Crowley: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Nina: You and me!

Crowley: *tearing up* Ok.

§

Crowley: Nina likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

§

Maggie: Today, Muriel said a swear word, so Nina said that they were going to wash Muriel's mouth out with soap. Muriel replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, they’ve been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles.

§

Crowley: *raises eyebrows*

Nina: Put those back down!

§

Nina: Don’t be sad!

Crowley: Why not?

Nina:

Nina: I don’t have a good answer.

§

Crowley, to Muriel: Please, picking locks is my specialty.

Crowley: *throws a brick through the window*

Crowley: Okay, let’s go.

§

Crowley: While I'm gone, you're in charge Muriel.

Muriel: Yes!

Crowley, whispering to Maggie: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad.

Maggie: Obviously.

§

Nina: Do you need help getting up?

Crowley: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

§

Crowley: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Nina: What hints have you given them?

Crowley: Well, I think about them a lot.

Crowley: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

§

Nina: How would you like your coffee?

Crowley: As dark as my soul.

Nina: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

§

Maggie: You know what your problem is?

Crowley: I only have one?


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2 years ago

Y’all there’s Jazz version of “Uptown Girl” by the Cooltrane Quartet.


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1 year ago

Good Omens S2 Trailer Thoughts:

- What’s going on with Crowley and Aziraphale? Where was Crowley? Why is Crowley so nervous. Why is Aziraphale so chilly? Maybe this takes place later in the series than it appears? Wait! I got it! Crowley went into hibernation during lockdown remember? Maybe that's actually canon?!

- Aw! Crowley takes off his glasses to be more open with Aziraphale.

- I liked the bookstore set better last season.

- Michael…your hair is so awful.

- Poor Muriel. How did no one tell her about Crowley? How does she not know what Gabriel looks like? There’s literally a poster of him in Heaven. Maybe by this point she’s already working with Aziraphale and Crowley.

- Um, Mr. Gaiman have you been spending time on ao3? Because um…the whole amnesiac/ Gabriel stuck with Aziraphale for some reason on Earth thing is familiar…

- Poor Crowley. He’s just not having a good time. I wonder if that lightening is coming at him or from him. The latter is kind’ve angelic…

- “You know what it’s like, when you don’t know anything at all, and yet you’re totally certain that everything would be better if you were just near one particular person?” Ahhhhh! My heart!

- Aziraphale thinking back to 1945 and Crowley during that line. Ahhhh! Az is still so in denial it’s hilarious.

- Ooh, Crowley in heaven! I wonder if we’ll get to see how it feels for him to be back.

- Crowley’s angel disguise is so awful! What is his hair? 😂

- Tennant and Sheen together again!

The mystery plot is great and everything, but I’m here for Crowley and Aziraphale adopting Muriel and watching their found family create chaos…

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!


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2 years ago

Joel: Zones out while Midge is talking.

Joel: Remember when you met my parents?

Midge: Remember when we fought in the back of a cab because I was doing something for you because you didn’t properly communicate your needs?

Joel: Remember when I cheated on you while you were pregnant?…anyway, want to get a drink?

Midge: Sure

————————

Okay, the reunion was cute but it felt like a season 2 plot. Plus, it didn’t really go anywhere. Also, what happened to Marcie and Janie, the friends Midge specifically mentioned in S3E5? Eh, I guess ASP just forgot.

……………………….

Awwww Abe! I love this man. Recognizing his mistakes.

————————

Oh, I guess this is a way to use your lesbian characters? It’s not…a great one…but it is one.

……………………….

Oh. Oh no. Oh no. Is the cliffhanger about Abe? Is he not going to be able to see Miriam…I really hope I’m wrong but…wait, Esther says that she and Abe were close so…


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1 year ago

Crowley’s Type?

Season Two Spoilers Below

Okay, so when Shax and Aziraphale are in the car, Shax says to Aziraphale, “You don’t seem his [Crowley’s] type at all.”

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

What does she think Crowley’s type is? What is she basing this assumption on? Crowley’s aesthetic? Did Crowley curate some kind of reputation as a lusty tempter of goths downstairs in some hilarious scheme? How?! He’s so bad at that kind of stuff!

Maybe she’s just preying on Aziraphale’s insecurities?

I need to know!!!!


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Angel With a Wand

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