Childe: Zhongli And I Have Been Fighting Lately

Judge: How do you plead?

Chat Noir: *looks at Ladybug*

Ladybug, mouthing: Not guilty.

Chat Noir: Hot milky

Ladybug: just lock him up

Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late

Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things

Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

Venti: dam girl, r u a construction worker cauz ur building

Xiao: ...building?

Venti: 👍

Xiao: what the fuck does that mean

Venti: mind your own business

Diluc: bitch

Kaeya: blocked

Diluc: wait unblock me i need to tell you something

Kaeya: unblocked

Diluc: bitch

so I heard there was a new harbinger

Childe: i think i might’ve ate Xiao’s almond tofu

Childe: how long do you think i have to live?

Zhongli: five

Childe: five??? five what???

Zhongli: four

Leviathan: once mammon walked into my room and started sniffing the air and went “oh i smell a quarter” and walked over to a pile of clothes and moved it and picked up a quarter and i literally can’t stop thinking about it it’s been like a year and it haunts me to this day

anders: hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let’s make ouw fiwst wittle incision

hawke: dowcto, wew’re loswing him!!

anders: quick! hand me the defibwiwatow! 

fenris: please, turn off my fucking life support

Deacon: if you want to know who your real friends are, get pregnant, those who stick by you are the real ones

Curie: I feel as though there are steps you could take beforehand

BAXTER DLC SPOILERS

Baxter just straight up lying throughout his dlc for absolutely no reason is so fucking funny to me. It wasn’t even Shiloh type lying, he just decided to make up fun facts for fun. he’s so me coded