4am Thoughts, I Love Pokémon Ship Names. Like Okay You Can Have Your AfterDeath And Your Chiluc (I'm

Okay so I've posted about my main Tav, now to post about my main Durge who I've done 2 playthroughs with the same character and will probably do more, and any time I post about my Durgetash stories/AUs she's the Durge in question unless I state otherwise. Due to being Durge I don't have much for her backstory since.. it's kinda right there, but I currently have two AUs for her and a third I'm working on. Without further ado, here's her "canon" storyline (in which I do say fuck actual canon 🫶)

Yurena

The one difference to the canon Durge backstory is that she did love Gortash, truly and while knowing her god - her father - disapproved. She never meant to fall for Gortash, but after meeting a few times and having written several letters back and forth, it was hard not to. The two of them began having visits outside of work, getting to know each other better than they knew themselves. Yurena admired Gortash for his brain above all else, for his ability to invent and plan and even his artistic side - something she eventually began to pick up on. They grew to trust each other completely, to genuinely want to rule together - Yurena would comment on how Gortash's death could be so beautiful but she preferred him alive, and Gortash was more than willing to share his bed throne with her

But then Orin came along, and everything fell apart. Yurena woke up on a mind flayer ship, having no memories yet her emotions remembered something. So she made her way along the Sword Coast, traveling alongside Astarion, Shadowheart, and Wyll. While at camp at one point, majority of the companions (Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Shadowheart) convinced Yurena to help the grove (Astarion didn't want to, Lae'zel was focused on the crèche and didn't care). After helping the tieflings, while at the party, Astarion approached Yurena. The two ended up talking, during which Yurena said she believed she'd had a lover before and she wanted to figure out who it was

Fast forward to the party chasing Ketheric into the illithid colony, watching as the Chosen Three talk, and Yurena can't stop staring at Gortash. Can't shake the feeling that she knew him, that he was important. She doesn't say anything about it until they're in Baldur's Gate, and she's standing face to face with someone unafraid to call her "nearest and dearest". At this point Yurena has to explain to Gortash her amnesia, and has to pretend like she can't see behind the unbothered mask of his, like the light in his eyes doesn't seem to dim as he hears that. Still he offers to work together, to rule together, and Yurena accepts the offer more than willingly. There's just one person left in the way; Orin. Yurena is able to deal with her easily, only to be greeted by her father. Yet when Bhaal says she will be his Slayer, that she must kill every living thing, Yurena can't imagine it. There are some people she's too fond of to kill, and she rejects her fate

After this there are two main routes Yurena's story can take. The first one and the one I talk about a bit more often follows canon for a bit longer, until the Netherbrain is defeated. After the story is said and done, Yurena has nowhere to go and stays in her Lower City camp with Withers. She finds as much about her past as possible, including countless letters between herself and Gortash. Knowing he's an important piece of her past, knowing she had once loved him, she works on convincing Withers to bring him back - saying that if he were to come back he'd have no reason to worship Bane anymore, that the two of them could live out their lives as nobodies. Just travelers, seeing the sights of Faerûn, maybe even doing some good. And it works, Gortash is brought back free of his Chosen title. He's hesitant at first, since he wasn't exactly consulted about this, but sees his second chance with Yurena and decides to accept it. This post ending AU is the two of them learning to live free of the influence of Bhaal or Bane, finding out who they can be when they can be anyone, and loving themselves and each other.

The second and actually original storyline begins with Yurena convincing Bhaal that total global murder isn't the way to go, as it means in the future there can be no murder. She remains his Chosen and the leader of the Bhaalists. After this things continue essentially the same until it diverts from canon during the Netherbrain encounter - Gortash tries to interrupt, but Yurena doesn't let him take the Netherstones, telling him she's made progress and will finish this. Once the Netherbrain is destroyed, Yurena ensures Gortash is able to remain the Archduke. She becomes known as his blade, a guard that is never more than a few feet away from him. The companions all go their separate ways, and Yurena stays living with Gortash in Baldur's Gate. They rule the city together, and though it's nothing like the grand plan they once had, they're alive and together - and plotting new plans to rule the whole of Faerûn, but more cautious now

When it comes to the companions, Yurena struggled connecting with most of them. Astarion was the only one she really got along with, sometimes Shadowheart could be included, but that was about it. Lae'zel thought her needlessly violent, Wyll and Karlach saw there was a barely contained evil that Yurena seemed all too ready to accept, and Gale really did try to be friendly but even he was put off by Yurena at times. Yurena mostly traveled with Astarion, Shadowheart and Wyll, and in her universe(s) Wyll was the one encouraging Shadowheart to be better while Yurena and Astarion made each other worse in many ways. In the universe where Yurena is killed by her father then revived, none of the companions hear from her after the celebration at the end of everything - it's after that reunion that Gortash is brought back and the two slip away. In the other universe, where Yurena and Gortash rule Baldur's Gate, well to be honest I'm still writing this one and haven't decided yet lol. We'll see where the story takes itself!

As a writer whose default is dialogue, kudos right back to writers who use more description and such. Y'all put so much detail into your works and I love it, wish I could explain what I visualize as well as you guys do

kudos to writers with dialogue-heavy works, I got mad respect for y'all. love using dialogue as a tool, but my default settings are non-verbal (dialogue) and non-stop yapping (description).

I'm going to pretend this is canon and no one can stop me

Also this gets 10 times funnier if you think Durge and Gortash were dating and Ketheric was the third wheel. Durge and Gortash are unsubtly flirting with each other and Ketheric is trying to keep them on the topic of the Absolute

Myrkul is the third wheel of the Dead Three, and you can not change my mind.

Bane and Bhaal hate each other so much, and Myrkul's just there like

"I hate both of you"

and the other two are just busy yelling at one another

I swear Bane and Bhaal are exs, and Myrkul has to now deal with this eternal falling out

I know it's technically about how Bane got the most power and Bhaal is jealous blah blah blah, but this is funnier

They are divorced, your honor

And Myrkul is just there, sick of it

"What's on your mind?" Oh nothing just that Durge knew their feelings for Gortash were wrong in Bhaal's eyes but all they could do was ask for forgiveness. It wasn't the admiration that was wrong, the connection with another person, but rather that Gortash is the Chosen of Bane. "Forgive me, Father, for I cannot help but admire the Chosen of your sworn foe: Enver Gortash."

These two are all I think about anymore. They make me sick. I love them

Oh no this isn't writer's block, I have an entire detailed alternate ending story with detailed dialogue and plot points that have been edited into being cohesive. However this is my bedtime story in which I mentally act it out until I inevitably fall asleep, acting as though I'm falling asleep in my MC's love interest's arms. I exclusively think of this story between the hours of midnight and 4am

Just remembered the girl I'm gonna be talking about doesn't have Tumblr so allow me to be gay for a minute

I've had a crush on her for a month or two now. We've been friends for like a year and a half, and in November we started an ongoing bit about dating. It's a very committed bit, our friends stopped believing it was a bit a week in. And as it happens when you're best friends with someone, very open and emotional with each other, talk every chance you get, support each other, and for like 4 months joke about dating, I caught feelings

Now, her birthday was earlier this month, but due to her school we won't be able to hang out until the 27th. And I've made/bought a total of 6 gifts for her. Note that she loves Stardew Valley. One of the gifts I got was the mermaid pendant (yes I know bouquet is for dating and pendant is for marriage, but the pendant is more recognizable and lasts longer). So when we hang out, I'm going to ask her out

But the thing is!! And this is why I needed to rant, this part is hilarious. We were talking about how a lot of things have been parallels to one of my previous relationships (aka my best relationship thus far). Because there's too many parallels, but that's not the point. I hinted that it would be really funny if we did what my ex gf and I did; start dating and not tell anyone for a monthish. We settled on a day to start dating (yes we are pre planning an anniversary for a bit), AND THEN we start wedding planning. It's nothing serious aside from a day that would be cool (it's connected to one of her interests)

I haven't even asked her out yet and she wanted to plan a wedding. I love her she's so committed to a bit and I don't think even she sees it as a bit

I don't normally post about having DID and that prob won't change but there's something so funny about being an alter who doesn't write as much/isn't as good at it and fronting not long after one who LOVES writing. What do you mean someone in my brain wrote several thousand words and spent a week figuring out how to work a new character into the main story. I'm reading what he wrote and I'm actually upset he didn't get to finish writing the last part. Come back, little writer man, control these hands we share and continue your story so I can pretend I know peace

My biggest head canon for my Durge and Gortash is that Gortash was the one that decorated her horns. Yurena wears chains and rings and stuff on her horns and I fully believe Gortash started that with the rings, he probably was given some silver rings but he likes gold so he just.. put them on Yurena's horns. Something like this;

Gortash: I have no need for these, and silver would look good on you. Would you like them?

Yurena: Your fingers are much larger than mine

Gortash: Ah, right. Hm. Here, I have an idea *puts a ring on each of her horns* see? They look lovely like that

Yurena:

Yurena: Do you have more

Picture of Yurena below to show off her horn jewelry

Work is hell let me daydream about my domestic Durgetash AU/alternate ending

Did I come up with it today? Yes. But also it's about to be my only source of comfort as I brave the storm that is working at a grocery store

Listen, of the 1,025 Pokémon that exist I will always find a way to defend 1,024 of them

However, there is one, exactly one Pokémon that I hate with every fiber of my being. Remembering that it exists fills me with rage. Seeing it instills disgust. His very existence has caused me to avoid passing through certain routes if I can help it, just so I don't have to see it. I don't hate much, but I despise this stupid Pokémon

I hate him to his very core

I hate how humanoid he is. I hate how his horns look like hair. I hate that he wears shoes, as ugly as they are. I hate the stupid pink dots on his fingers. I hate that his name gives him a title, Mr. Mime. I hate his Detective Pikachu appearance that must have been created by a monster wishing to give children nightmares. I hate his shiny that stands as the singular proof that lime green is too widely used, controllable or not. I hate his Galarian form that somehow makes him even more off putting, I hate that he was given one instead of a better Pokémon. Most of all, I hate that he comes from something so cute

Do you want to know the only time I have released a Pokémon, dear reader? It was when I had caught Mime Jr. at 8 years old, so excited that it would evolve into something pretty or cool. I would add it to my team, and it would battle alongside me to victory. Alas, level 19 came, and to my younger self's utter horror I watched as my adorable clown became a creature that never should have been created. How could Arceus allow such a creature to exist in its creation, to thrive while crushing the hopes of children? This child who knew not how the game properly worked immediately released the abomination, leaving behind a Pokémon she once held hope in but now couldn't recognize

11 years have passed since I taught that Mime what trauma is, and to this day I despise what my child became