One Less Thing I Have To Worry About

Okay so since this is getting some notice again I want y'all wonderful autistic people to know that ASAN is taking applications for their ACI (Autistic Campus Inclusion) program until Feb. 23!! It's for people who are or want to be autistic self-advocates in secondary education (grad school is good too). I learned so many fantastic skills and got a ton of incredible opportunities (I met JUDY HEUMANN and LOBBIED ON FREAKING CAPITAL HILL) And the best part for me was being part of a fully-inclusive (yes I mean that*) autistic space. I'm almost always in some state of dissociation and I was fully present for the whole week. It was absolutely amazing and I want everyone to know about it. If you're even a little bit interested please, please go check it out!!!!

https://autisticadvocacy.org/projects/education/aci/

Autistic Self Advocacy Network

Autism Campus Inclusion

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is now accepting applications for the 2020 Autism Campus Inclusion (ACI) Leadership Academy!   Download t

*I can promise financial, physical, emotional accessibility etc. They encourage people of color and AAC users to apply, just as an example. Most of the people I met were LGBTQ+. I have really weird triggers and when I was suddenly no longer able to handle my dorm situation they made sure I was okay and found me a a new place. I had never had my needs respected like that before and it was life-changing. Please please apply.

Message me or tag me somehow if anyone needs to talk or wants more info on the post or autistic rights and advocacy in general. We're here and we're amazing. Much love and happy stimming 🌱

Punishment for stimming is BAD.

I don’t care if my blog’s not popular, if this post reaches one person it’ll be one more person helped. I just had a college class in abnormal psychology where the professor taught us that punishment is a workable and useful therapy to “treat” autistic symptoms such as head-banging, biting etc. What he neglected to tell the class is that those behaviors are forms of self-stimulation (aka stimming) which is necessary for most people with autism to regulate their sensory systems. Specifically the above destructive behaviors are forms of overload stimming, in which the person will turn to types of self-stimulation that blocks out whatever is causing them distress in their environment. For example, head-banging and biting cause pain and so the body is forced to process that instead of what’s outside, temporarily interfering with their perception of the world to give them a reprieve. To clarify: this behavior isn’t good, it’s dangerous. The solution is to replace the overload stims with healthier ones, let them remove themself from the situation, and give them coping mechanisms and plans so that next time they don’t have to get to overload levels of upset.

The solution is NOT to punish them for overload stimming. They are not exhibiting bad behavior, they are trying desperately to do what their body needs them to do. If you punish them and they stop overload stimming in response, it’s not successful learning: it’s abuse. They are not stopping because they ‘see the error in their ways,’ they are stopping because they are afraid of what you will do to them. All punishment works like that, but it is called for when the person does something wrong, not when they are working to do what their body needs because there is nothing wrong with that.

By the way, this is true for non-destructive types of stimming as well. Preventing any kind of stimming is abuse because it prevents people with autism’s bodies from working as they should. Instead stimming needs to be accommodated and respected or, if it absolutely must be stopped, immediately replaced with an equally effective option.

To recap: punishment is designed to stop bad behavior. Stimming is not bad behavior because it is an action that people with autism need to do to regulate their sensory systems. It is abuse to punish someone without cause. Therefore it is abuse to punish someone for stimming. Instead find non-destructive stims and solutions that solve the problem without the damaging consequences.

*p.s. if someone is overload stimming they’re already really upset. don’t make it worse. it’s common sense and so easy to do if you care about that person.*

I’m so happy about the new games.

Hey as a proud Jew I can't support what Israel is doing. As a proud Jew I want to share the Holy Land with Muslims because it's as sacred to them as it is to me. Israel is supposed to be my home and destination but it is for Muslim people too and I don't understand why it can't be for us both. So even though I'm Jewish don't think for a second that I'm behind Israel on this one. It honestly makes me really sad.

*Edit: Hey guys I got a negative response on this one so I wanted to say I'm sorry if I said something offensive. If I did please know that it was never my intention. If anyone's up for it and wants to teach me more about the subject I'd be happy to learn, but for the moment I'm going to stick by this opinion.

God-damn crucial.

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ 'Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. 'Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. 'oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an 'up’ gesture. 'you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. 'oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

Game Boy Color Promotional Demo (1998)

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

NO ONE CAN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME. WE HAVE CONFIRMATION AND I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER

You guys!!!! DREAMWORKS DID THE THING!!!!!

Asexual meme of the month: loving and supporting their bisexual brethren unconditionally

Hi!

So I have a blog now…that’s pretty cool!

Some info to start things off: •Irl addressee of @param0re’s #samantha look at this (go follow her she’s awesome) •If you know where purple-37-bird came from, message me and we can be friends •I have absolutely no idea how to blog, but I try to be a decent human being! So if I do something inappropriate or rude, that’s never my intent; feel free to call me out for it so I can make it better!

Message me with questions, comments or concerns, and enjoy! ^u^