Nature

this hurts my soul in indescribable ways

a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted

their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"

"Every writer"?

come on

^ actual blessing of a post

Today in therapy I learned the term double bookkeeping and everything makes much more sense now

“Double bookkeeping is a term introduced by Eugen Bleuler to describe a fundamental feature of schizophrenia where psychotic reality can exist side by side with shared reality even when these realities seem mutually exclusive.”

This is why I can know I’m schizophrenic and still believe my delusions. My psychosis is its own separate reality where everything is possible. Logic doesn’t apply there, I’m unreal, my reality is unreal so unreal things can happen. I know it’s physiologically impossible and implausible, I know it’s a symptom of psychosis and not an experience I share with most of the world, but it’s still real to me

Do any other schizospec folk experience this?

developing your ocs is 50% waiting for bursts of divine inspiration like an oracle sleeping next the vapours seeping from fissures in the temple floor and 50% stalking them in your mind relentlessly like a persistence predator until they tire out enough for you to get close and scamper away with the bloody scraps of "eye colour: brown" and "dislikes: people who think they're funny" clutched in your mouth like a hunting trophy

dear gods the world does NOT need a Cult of the Lamb x 40K crossover. Noooo thank you the lamb is already a menace without the chaos gods

combine your first real fandom with your current one to create a terrible, terrible au

My poor little traumatized meow meow who was groomed and mistreated by two separate shitty father figures

Lil angst poem :)

And I Am?

“And who might you be?” Well, I’m many things And yet I’m too scared To tell you any of them Too scared to tell you My names that are true Too worried to claim I know who I am So I’ll tell you now Another lie Because what’s one more When I’m drowning in them? “I am ------” But it feels so foul to say It feels like a lie Because that’s all it is. “I’m this and I’m that” But none of it is true And I can’t breathe Someone help But I don’t know how And I am A liar And a coward And someone who is scared I am foolish I am weak I am someone who is scared I shouldn’t feel this way But I do, I do, And I don’t know what to say When you say the name I picked out so carefully Like a slur Like a curse Someone give me a chance Let me explain how I feel Just to be refused again. And I am Someone who is alive But sometimes I don’t know What to say or how to act Because I am not the norm And the norm will kill me In a day or a year The outcome’s the same Suffocation or a blaze Who really cares? And I am Someone who is scared And I know it is without reason And yet I don’t know this But I do. And I am Someone who is confused And who can’t form these words To tell you what it felt like To hear you say my name Like I am a slur and a failure A sinner and a liar.

so I overreacted yesterday but we're so back now guys

Walk With Me

If I asked you

When I die

Will you walk with me

Down to the gates

And leave me there

With one last talk

When you go up

To the clouds?

If I asked, when I am gone,

Will you remember

Me as me?

When I go down

To the gates

Of a pit so deep

Will you walk there with me?

If I begged you

Right here and now

Will you let me

Hold your hand

While I walk

Down to the pit

And take my place

In a tragic end?

And if the answer’s yes

Then let me ask you now

If I can be so selfish

As to have you watch me go

Down to that pit so deep

Then turn around

and go to the clouds

To take your rightful place?