Give Me Mexican Jason Dancing Payaso De Rodeo In Park Row With Other Mexican Immigrants. Him Teaching

Hey, I was thinking of a fic idea. I don't know if it's been done (please send link if so)

I was thinking that it was a risky move from the syrens to mention a daughter when she perfectly could've not mentioned it. Unlike with the water fear thing, she wasn't prompted. Now syrens are supposed to know every way at sea, so I bet they have a wide net of information. So what if they had information on Ithaca as well? Would make sense, wouldn't it? Maybe not the best info, but info nonetheless.

Now, I don't know about you, but if my husband were to go to war, I'd be real affectionate those last few days iykyk. Also I don't think there was a very effective birth control yet, was there?

So what if Penelope sees them away, everything's normal, Telemachus is a baby, all good. And then as time goes on, she starts feeling symptoms but she's in denial. No, she can't be pregnant when her husband isn't home to know about it. She can't. She must be just anxious, or ill or exhausted. Oh, her belly? Yeah no, it hasn't yet gone back to what it used to after telemachus. Oh it's bigger? Yeah, she ate a lot tonight. Totally normal.

By the time she gets over her denial and realizes that oh shit she's pregnant, Odysseus is on the battlefield, not just on the way. She asks Hermes to deliver the message, but Athena convinces him not to, because he's already eager to go home, and if you add that his wife is pregnant, he'll try to make it home before the birth, but that would only make him reckless. It'd get him killed. No, they'll tell him when the war is over. Except of course it takes longer than expected.

Now meanwhile, Ithaca receives her Princess not even a year after her Prince. They get along great. Telemachus adores his little sister. And Penelope adores both her children. She sees a part of her husband in each of them. But the girl (I'm thinking Alkmene, which I'm aware is already a character of Greek mythology, but roll with it) is Odysseus's spitting image while Telemachus is hers.

All of Ithaca can see that the Princess is the miniature version of their King. She makes the same expressions, snarls the same way when she's pissed off, has the same features, from his hair, eyes, face shape. She's his mini-me. So, Ithaca slowly shifts from calling her Alkmene to Mini (alkmene, mene, mini).

Meanwhile Telemachus is his mother's son through and through. The Prince and Princess look like the King and Queen genderbent. And act like them too. Telemachus learns arts, sits alongside his mother as he learns to play instruments and she even teaches him to weave. And Mini, she tries. She does, truly. But she's just not the most patient. She can't sit still for hours on end handling a thread.

So Penelope sits her down hands her a knife and a piece of wood. She knows Mini is just like her father, and hopes his hobby will be something she finally picks up. So she teaches her woodcarving. And would you look at that, she likes it.

Now, Telemachus as the heir, he is the one most in the public eye. Mini tends to hand back, carving wood and watching her brother with sharp eyes, but doesn't stay seated for long, no, she sticks to the shadows and shifts which pillar she's resting against. Unlike Odysseus' leadership and commanding presence, though, she doesn't like to be perceived. She moves on quiet feet, never stays in one spot for long, and doesn't speak much. It's hard to keep track of her. But she's always watching.

Telemachus and her have different ways to feel close to their father. He steals his accessories and clothes (I read a headcannon and a fic and loved this), and she usually sits by her father's bow and talks to it, as if it were her father. Eventually, just before the war ends, she takes a regular bow and teaches herself to use it. She sucks at it at first. She struggles to even string it. Just like Telemachus struggles with fighting.

She does this on secret. She sees the way her mother stares at the bow. Her brother isn't all that interested in learning that yet. So she sneaks out and practices. She sucks. Truly she does. The amount of times she's hit herself on the face just trying to pull the string back, or later cut her cheek with the string as it shoots, the amount of times her arrows were pathetically weak.

Meanwhile, the war ends, and instead of telling him, by now Hermes isn't paying much attention and Athena wants to, really, but can't find the way to tell him "oh by the way, you also have a nine-year-old daughter and I knew all along but didn't tell you", and then you know, they argue and such. She never actually tells him.

And when Hermes makes his appearance during Wouldn't You Like, he also doesn't tell him because there are more pressing issues. But after the Syren thing, on the way to Scylla, he comes down again like

"uhm, actually... You do have a daughter. Your wife was pregnant when you left."

"What?"

"Yeah. Your spitting image, that one. So much so, they call her Mini. Mini of Ithaca, has a ring to it, doesn't it? Mkay, I'll take my leave, have fun~"

"Wait no, you can't just— Hermes, come back!"

And then everything goes as it does. His seven years on Calypso's Island are torture, not only because he has to wonder how his wife is doing and how his boy grew up, but also because he spends them thinking of the daughter he didn't know he had. Was she his spitting image physically or personality wise? What traits of his did she get? What's her real name? Because okay, they call her Mini, but what's her name? Ctemene, like his sister? Something else?

And as the years pass, his anxiety rises when he thinks of home. Because by now, she must be grown up. By now, both his wife and his daughter must have suitors, and he's not there to scare them off.

And meanwhile, during those ten years after she first took the bow, she spends most of her time hidden, trying to learn. The first thing she tries to learn is to hunt, she's not great at it, but she tries. Not for sport either but because as the suitors start to arrive, boy can they eat, and she doesn't want them in her space. This gets Artemis's attention.

Artemis sees this young woman, trying to hide from suitors (some of them also try to get her, because hey, Queen or Princess, same thing right?), trying to learn to hunt but not doing so unnecessary or out of malice. This girl tries to befriend as many animals as she can, but still does hunt. And she takes her under her wing. Now I know Artemis was on the Trojan's side, but come on, it's been almost twenty years.

Under her tutelage, Mini becomes a great archer, just like Telemachus becomes a warrior under Athena's. Unlike Telemachus, she's not too interested in fighting. She does archery because she feels it brings her closer to her father, not because she wants to be a warrior.

And so she becomes an archer as good as, if not better than, Odysseus (Because come on, while Athena is the Goddess of war, Artemis' weapon is a bow) And people know this. She's scary good.

Much like Telemachus with Athena, Mini befriends Artemis.

So during God Games, Apollo is actually firmly on the Releasing Odysseus side, much to Athena's surprise. After all, hey, his sister likes his kid, might as well help her get her dad back. With this change, Athena doesn't get beat up as badly, because that's three gods (Apollo was like "lol isn't that your protégé's dad? Yeah, you should watch this") standing up to Zeus instead of one. They each receive a beating, but not as bad.

Also imagine like:

"Hey, Apollo—"

"It's Odysseus of Ithaca, right? That Odysseus?"

"Yes? I know he killed your Syrens, but listen—"

"Yeah, so mean of him. Anyway, release him."

"... What?"

"My sister is friends with his daughter."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

"Mmhmm. Bye now, you have others to convince."

Now, during The Challenge, the suitors are like "No, this is impossible, it's literally not possible, you're trying to trick us"

And the nineteen year old princess snorts, stands up, strings her father's bow and shoots through the axes cleanly. Then unstrings (?) the bow and puts it where it was.

"Dunno, seems very possible for me."

Later, during Hold Them Down, these bastards also plan to take her the same way they will her mother. Break her pride, they say. Put her in her place. A girl can't be better than them.

Odysseus is filled with pride for his daughter at the thought that she's so much better than them that it broke their egos. He's also filled with anger, logically.

Now, it is 108 men. What if they did manage to get Telemachus just a little before (not that he lasted less, just that it happened a little earlier), and Odysseus is in check, because fuck if he attacks they'll hurt his boy. He's seething with rage and trying to formulate a plan. He could take them, he absolutely could, but how will he do it without harming his son? Their eyes are all on him, he doesn't have the element of surprise anymore, he can't move quickly or they'll kill his son.

And then an arrow flies. And it's not his.

The arrow pierces the head of the man holding Telemachus, at the perfect angle that it doesn't harm the boy, and it comes from behind and slightly above.

Odysseus looks up, and he sees his own eye staring back at him, but she is much younger. And yes, I said eye, because she's wearing an eye patch. He doesn't think much of it because she's an archer, and some archers use an eye patch. Also, it's cool as heck, looks more like half a mask than an eye patch, with intricate designs and expanding over more than just her eye to her temple.

"Shit it's Mini!" "Where is she?"

Between the three of them, a close-range warrior, an archer, and a versatile, experienced warrior, the fight is over soon. You can't not turn your back on at least one of them, especially when Mini, just like her father moments before, hides in the darkness and shoots.

After they're all dead, she steps out of the shadows. And damn, she is his carbon copy.

Then you know, I Can't Help But Wonder is kinda different because it's not one child but two. Also, he finally gets to learn her name. And listen, Odysseus is fascinated by his children, because Telemachus is Penelope's copy and Mini is his. Down to the height, Telemachus is taller than Odysseus and Mini is almost his height.

After the reunions and all, family bonding is hard. He feels like Mini stares into his soul and it unnerves him, a little because he's used to being on the giving end of that look, and a little because she doesn't take off her eye patch. She changes it up, has many designs, some more like masks than patches, but is still always wearing one, and always has her bow and quiver on her person or next to her, which makes him feel like she's always on guard, which puts him on edge.

"Does she ever take the patch off?" he whispers to Telemachus

"No, hasn't for years."

Also, Argos is an old doggo but he's alive because I say so. Still, Mini has two Hunting Dogs because again, Artemis's protégé. Argos sticks by Telemachus and Odysseus, and her dogs are loyal only to her. They don't leave her side. They are big, like wolves. Artemis herself picked them for her. One black, one white. And they flank her at all times, it's certainly unnerving. They're not playful puppies, at least not to anyone but her and her Goddess.

"Did I... Do something? You're staring at me, Mini."

"Nah, she does that." her brother replies instead "Nothing personal. She doesn't like to talk much."

And yeah, she doesn't. But things are still a bit awkward between them, and he's not sure how to fix it. She seems to judge him. Sometimes she outright snarls at him if he suggests she lower her guard a little and take off her eyepatch/mask. They're no longer at war, the suitors are not a threat anymore, they're all safe. He made sure of it. And yet, the worst thing he could've done was try to take her mask off.

He got close to her, gave her a side hug, tried to be a dad. And everything was fine. And then he tilted her face up and she looked at him. She seemed relatively relaxed, but not fully.

"Kid, you can relax. I promise you're safe. You don't need to be battle ready all the time here, take it from me."

And he reached out to take off her mask. It was meant as an act of comfort, like Polities prying his sword off his hand when he was tired during the war. A sign that he'd take care of her and she could relax.

But she smacked his hand and pushed him away. She glared at him, one eye portraying the message just as well as two would. She took her bow and quiver and left without a word. She only came back before dinner (she left after breakfast), with fresh meat for their meal.

Her one visible eye (the left btw) glared at him the whole dinner, and, he felt damn uneasy, and she snarled at him when he tried to talk to her. Which wouldn't be all that intimidating if her dogs didn't snarl every time she did, baring their teeth and growling. Penelope and Telemachus, bless their hearts, tried to de-escalate the situation. Telemachus started talking about absolutely anything that came to mind and his sister's attention snapped to him and she relaxed slowly. She loved listening to her brother rant and be happy.

It went on for days. Eventually, she stopped glaring at him, didn't snarl at him anymore. But damn her dogs did. They didn't seem to like him, and he really didn't want to get into a fight with them, because either they'd rip off his arm or he'd kill them, and neither was a good option. She had them well trained, though, so as they growled at him, she only clicked her tongue and they quieted down.

With time and effort, he got her to relax a little more. Still, she never took off her mask/eyepatch. It still got on his nerves.

And then one night, as Telemachus was talking about his day, she relaxed so much she fell asleep.

Odysseus lifted his daughter in his arms, her dogs flanking him but not growling at him, just seemingly protecting her, as they always did.

He took her to her room and tucked her in. Now, he's a man who learns from his mistakes. He knew he shouldn't take her mask off, she wouldn't want him too. But today's mask was rather extravagant, and it probably would be quite uncomfortable to sleep with. So he took it off her face.

And he stumbled back, his breath knocked out of his lungs. Because his daughter had a trident scarred across her eye, starting at the bridge of her nose and diagonally across her eye. Her eyelid had been torn and sewn back together, but there was no question of it it had harmed her eye. It was purposeful, careful, designed. It was a mark. It was Poseidon's.

That bastard had blinded his daughter for blinding his son. An eye for an eye. It was a damn miracle he didn't take both her eyes, and that was probably because of Artemis. However, it did look a bit older than just his last confrontation. It must've been while he was in Calypso's island.

No wonder she was wary around him. She must know it was his fault that Poseidon partially blinded her.

Odysseus knelt beside her and took her hand. "Forgive me" he whispered. She didn't stir, but one of her dogs huffed at him, the other growled. And for once, he didn't try to calm it down. If it tore him up, he'd deserve it. He wouldn't fight it.

He fell asleep at the foot of his daughter's bed, her mask set beside him and her hand between his.

He woke up as she stirred. He was the lightest of sleepers after twenty years in danger. He thought Mini was just waking up, but she wasn't. She whimpered and thrashed. He didn't know what to do, should he comfort her? Wake her up?

Alkmene curled on her side and clawed at her scarred eye. One of her dogs got in between her arms and her face, preventing any more damage. Not for lack of trying, the girl whined and growled in pain, trying to claw at it, but the dog kept interfering. Her growls and whimpers turned into desperate gasps and growing screams of pain. A wound inflicted by a god likely hurt like new every once in a while. What could he do, if it wasn't even a nightmare. It wasn't that she was scared and he could comfort her, she was in pain so excruciating she wanted to claw it out. Her dogs protected her face, they didn't mind that it meant she clawed at them instead. He didn't know what to do.

The black dog locked its jaw around his wrist, firm but careful, it didn't even hurt, And it pulled his hand toward his daughter's face. Odysseus carefully pressed his palm against her eye, cringing at the texture of the scar. The pressure seemed to relieve the pain, however slightly. She still gasped for breath, but no longer screamed. She still tried to claw at her eye, but she only managed to scratch his hand and wrist, clawing so desperately that it broke his skin.

He welcomed the pain. A fraction of what he put her through, a fraction of the pain he's to blame for. A part of him hoped she tore his skin. A part of him hoped her dog would lock its jaw and puncture his arm, so he'd have the scars to remind him of his daughter's. So she wouldn't be alone in her pain tonight.

He stayed steady there for hours, pressing gently on her face. He memorized the feeling of her scar on his palm, jagged and rough, imperfect and cruel. He wished he could take it from her, he wished Poseidon had taken his eye instead.

Little after dawn, her eyes fluttered and he took away his hand. He had dried blood all over his wrist and hand, and she had it under he fingernails. He was nervous, terrified she'd hate him, terrified she already did.

Her eyes opened, and once again it knocked him off balance, seeing her right eye open but discolored. Broken. She stared at him for a minute and he bowed his head in shame.

"Telemachus can't know. He'll blame himself, think it should've been him." is the first thing she said, instead of the insults or reprimand he expected.

"Alkmene…"

"It's Mini. Listen, it's your fault. None of this would've happened if it weren't for you. So I was told. But I know you did your best with what you had. And you didn't know Poseidon would take my eye as revenge."

"He told me. When I came back, he said he'd take my son and take his eyes. I didn't think he already had."

"Yeah, couple years ago. I was alone in the coast, an easy target I suppose. It was meant to be my brother, but he settled for me. And hey, at least it works. I'm an archer. He did take my dominant eye, but I adapted. Archers don't need both eyes anyway."

"Damn you are too calm about this."

"Well, I mean, it's been years. I don't hate you for this. It's hard to hate someone who I only heard the best of stories about, and by the time you arrived, I'd come to terms with it. I was tense around you because you kept insisting I took my mask off, and I couldn't exactly tell you off without making it obvious that I was hiding something. So quit that and we're good."

"I'll never pressure you about it again."

"Good. I'm so glad we see eye to eye" she grinned

"Yeah, I didn't like coming in blind about you" he joked back despite himself. He didn't know if he had the right to. But she snorted, surprised by the pun.

"So I got my humor from you. I should've seen that one coming."

"we probably shouldn't joke about this, but I suppose I can turn a blind eye to it"

"come on, don't be blinded by your righteousness, this is fun."

"Yes, I suppose I shouldn't lose sight of fun"

All day, father and daughter exchanged bad blind puns, much to the confusion of Penelope and Telemachus. But hey, at least the tension between them had dissipated.

Odysseus saw his daughter in a new light. He caught all the small gestures she had that hinted at her partial blindness. He understood now the way she struggled with depth, often trying twice to reach something, and struggling to catch. He noticed her relationship with her dogs. They were more than just her pets and companions, they were her eyes, always alert and flanking her so she wouldn't need to be on guard, especially the one on her blind side. They prevented her from bumping into walls and furniture, even if it meant she bumped into them instead. He saw the way she startled slightly when Telemachus touched her unexpectedly or moved too fast.

Bonding with her became easier as the tension dissipated with bad jokes that had Telemachus smacking his head on the table, yet smiling.

And then he figured they could bond over archery, all of them. Penelope was good, a Spartan through and through. Telemachus was getting the hang of it, but he was better at close-range fighting. Odysseus enjoyed helping him out, fixing his form and aim.

He knew his daughter was a good archer, but he thought surely there would be some tips he could give her, with twice her experience. Or hey, at least he could show off a little. He took his bow and aimed. As his arrow flew, it was knocked off course and split by another. He looked up to see Mini hanging from a tree branch, a shit-eating grin on her face.

"What's the matter, old man? Can't land a shot?"

Odysseus huffed and fired again. Once again it was intercepted by another arrow.

"I thought you were an archer, My King." she mocked.

"I am, you little Winion!"

And for hours, they tried to one-up each other while Telemachus and Penelope watched fondly. They did all sorts of trickshots and they were generally pretty evenly matched, though their techniques were different. She was more fluid, she could aim while hanging upside down or while running, while he slowed down and had a more traditional technique.

Hunting was still very much her thing, though. When Odysseus and his children went to hunt, he and Telemachus went all Warrior Of The Mind, thinking of traps and strategies. While Mini just set her dogs free and her and her canines moved like a unit, rounding up prey. They were stealthy and the prey did not see it coming.

However, she was respectful. She didn't hunt more than necessary. It was a quick death and after reaching the prey she thanked it for the sacrifice. There was not a moment of fear or pain for the prey. It was the way of Artemis, the way of nature.

He had thought himself a great hunter, but of course the protégé of the Goddess of Hunting would put him to shame.

I have a head canon for the batfam specifically Tim that when any food he chews it methodically almost unnaturally because Janet and Jack told him to always chew his food. But also Tim once watched Janet take a bite of skewer and chew it so little Tim assumed that if food was on a stick you had to chew it enter-

Batfam: “eating ice cream/popsicles”

Tim: “takes a bite out of a popsicle and chews it”

Jason: I know you did not do that.

Tim: what?

Ok, hear me out. An AU where Janet Drake is best friends with Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen.

They met in school, and she's a high society girl, not expected or allowed to be much more than a pretty face, but there's this trio of smart idiots (they did all sorts of stupid stuff at school, but they are overall very, very smart), and they're in all sorts of cool classes and extracurriculars, and she wants to learn

So, she snakes her way into the group with well-timed looks and blushes. They eventually include her in all their activities, and so she learns all sort of stuff that she usually wouldn't be allowed to learn, because they help her keep it in the down low. No, she's not taking classes with them, she's being a proper lady and cheering her smart friends on through the oh-so-hard classes.

At some point or another, they all develop a crush on her, fleeting as it may be (they're hormonal teens and they're required to flirt, it was bound to happen)

They flirt publicly, as it keeps the media from pressuring them into relationships— or so they thought. It backfires when they're adults, the media is demanding Janet settle down and stops leading all three of them on. But there would be a scandal if she picked any of them, so she picks Jack, someone who doesn't love her or she loves, but someone desperate enough to climb the social ladder to care if he loves his wife.

When he's not allowed to flirt anymore, that's where Bruce realizes that he actually liked her.

When Tim comes along, and Janet has to go on trips, she leaves him with her trusted friends. So, Tim learns a lot from his Uncle Lex, learns to shoot a bow from his Uncle Ollie, and loves staying with his Uncle Bruce and his children. He figures him out far too easily and does become Robin when Jason figures he's ready to pass on the mantle to his little brother (because they're brothers. Tim spends a lot of time in their house)

Bruce adores Tim, he really does. It just kinda hurts, that he's Janet's kid, but not his.

Eventually, Janet divorces Jack, and she gets to spend a lot more time in Gotham. But by now Tim is as much Bruce's as he is Janet's, so they co-parent the gremlin that is her son, which leads to a lot of time with Bruce.

Bruce treats her better than Jack ever did, and she trusts him far more. They have the memories of years together. Eventually, Bruce tells her the truth— that he never truly moved on from his best friend.

When they marry, sure it's a media circus, but also not a surprise.

She's also a good mom, to Tim as much as to Dick or Jason.

When Jason finds out Catherine is not his mom, sure he gets curious, but he has a mom already, he's happy. He does want to meet his bio mom, but he agrees to do so safely, not go alone. Fine, B, you can come with.

Joker never happens. Jason is disappointed when he finds his mom is not at all what he expected, and he has a much better one at home.

Eventually, when Damian comes into the picture, he's snappy with Janet. "you will never be my mother, you harlot!" but Janet simply puts a hand on his shoulder and speaks calmly, yet sharp as the blade he threatens her with

"You will not speak to me like that, boy. No, I am not your mother. But I am married to your father, and I hold the authority as such, so you will go up to your room, you will cool down, and you will never threaten or insult me again, or you will be grounded."

"You can't do that!"

"She can. She has my full permission to discipline my kids, Damian. In this house, she holds as much authority as I do." Bruce interjects

Damian, begrudgingly, learns to respect Janet, and eventually he does see her as a second mom

The amount of times Oliver or Lex visit the Wayne-Drake household is absurd, but sue them, they like their friends. This leads to a lot of chaos, because every time Oliver visits so does Roy, and Roy hangs out with Dick and Jason, while Damian sticks to glaring at everyone.

Meanwhile, they dote on Tim, because they sure as hell have a favourite nephew, and it's the one they watched grow inside the belly of one of their best friends, the one they all changed the diapers of, the one they've taught a lot of skills to, the one they helped raise in a way they never helped raise any of the other Wayne boys. They don't even try to hide their preference. Now, of course they like all their nephews, but it's always hilarious because when Tim is around his uncle Lex, he's ten times the evil mastermind he generally is, and Oliver encourages it, simply for the chaos, and so does Janet, while Bruce is downright terrified of the idea of Tim as a villain (everyone is)

Hallucinating while doing homework fucking sucks. That's it, that's all I wanted to say.

In a few hours I'll pay a big amount of money to get tortured :D

It's a Tilt Table Test. It's definitely gonna send me into a flare. Monday I start school and probably I'll still feel like shit (more than usual), we'll see. But look, as long as it works. Also, let's hope it's a flare because last year I sent myself into a flare via stress and woke up feeling shittier one day, and haven't felt better. So.

Wish me luck, I'll report back in a few hours

update, apparently my heart stopped for about eight seconds. Looks like all those times I fainted were actually tiny little heart attacks.

That is... Creepy

But good news, this is the only type out of five that has treatment. Not cure, but treatment. So. Uh. Good?

I'm so goddamn freaked out

Or both! It's in the works, but I'd love to read your take on it!

Ok, hear me out. An AU where Janet Drake is best friends with Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen.

They met in school, and she's a high society girl, not expected or allowed to be much more than a pretty face, but there's this trio of smart idiots (they did all sorts of stupid stuff at school, but they are overall very, very smart), and they're in all sorts of cool classes and extracurriculars, and she wants to learn

So, she snakes her way into the group with well-timed looks and blushes. They eventually include her in all their activities, and so she learns all sort of stuff that she usually wouldn't be allowed to learn, because they help her keep it in the down low. No, she's not taking classes with them, she's being a proper lady and cheering her smart friends on through the oh-so-hard classes.

At some point or another, they all develop a crush on her, fleeting as it may be (they're hormonal teens and they're required to flirt, it was bound to happen)

They flirt publicly, as it keeps the media from pressuring them into relationships— or so they thought. It backfires when they're adults, the media is demanding Janet settle down and stops leading all three of them on. But there would be a scandal if she picked any of them, so she picks Jack, someone who doesn't love her or she loves, but someone desperate enough to climb the social ladder to care if he loves his wife.

When he's not allowed to flirt anymore, that's where Bruce realizes that he actually liked her.

When Tim comes along, and Janet has to go on trips, she leaves him with her trusted friends. So, Tim learns a lot from his Uncle Lex, learns to shoot a bow from his Uncle Ollie, and loves staying with his Uncle Bruce and his children. He figures him out far too easily and does become Robin when Jason figures he's ready to pass on the mantle to his little brother (because they're brothers. Tim spends a lot of time in their house)

Bruce adores Tim, he really does. It just kinda hurts, that he's Janet's kid, but not his.

Eventually, Janet divorces Jack, and she gets to spend a lot more time in Gotham. But by now Tim is as much Bruce's as he is Janet's, so they co-parent the gremlin that is her son, which leads to a lot of time with Bruce.

Bruce treats her better than Jack ever did, and she trusts him far more. They have the memories of years together. Eventually, Bruce tells her the truth— that he never truly moved on from his best friend.

When they marry, sure it's a media circus, but also not a surprise.

She's also a good mom, to Tim as much as to Dick or Jason.

When Jason finds out Catherine is not his mom, sure he gets curious, but he has a mom already, he's happy. He does want to meet his bio mom, but he agrees to do so safely, not go alone. Fine, B, you can come with.

Joker never happens. Jason is disappointed when he finds his mom is not at all what he expected, and he has a much better one at home.

Eventually, when Damian comes into the picture, he's snappy with Janet. "you will never be my mother, you harlot!" but Janet simply puts a hand on his shoulder and speaks calmly, yet sharp as the blade he threatens her with

"You will not speak to me like that, boy. No, I am not your mother. But I am married to your father, and I hold the authority as such, so you will go up to your room, you will cool down, and you will never threaten or insult me again, or you will be grounded."

"You can't do that!"

"She can. She has my full permission to discipline my kids, Damian. In this house, she holds as much authority as I do." Bruce interjects

Damian, begrudgingly, learns to respect Janet, and eventually he does see her as a second mom

The amount of times Oliver or Lex visit the Wayne-Drake household is absurd, but sue them, they like their friends. This leads to a lot of chaos, because every time Oliver visits so does Roy, and Roy hangs out with Dick and Jason, while Damian sticks to glaring at everyone.

Meanwhile, they dote on Tim, because they sure as hell have a favourite nephew, and it's the one they watched grow inside the belly of one of their best friends, the one they all changed the diapers of, the one they've taught a lot of skills to, the one they helped raise in a way they never helped raise any of the other Wayne boys. They don't even try to hide their preference. Now, of course they like all their nephews, but it's always hilarious because when Tim is around his uncle Lex, he's ten times the evil mastermind he generally is, and Oliver encourages it, simply for the chaos, and so does Janet, while Bruce is downright terrified of the idea of Tim as a villain (everyone is)

Umm excuse me??? The symbolism? The art? Who gave you permission to make it that good??? I should charge you rent, that'll be in my mind for a looong while

my sister bullied me into posting this on the blog, here's my animatic for Hold Them Down from Epic the Musical

content warnings/spoilers below!!!

this song contains a bunch of fucked up dudes wanting to kill their rival's son and violate his wife, but I've drawn nothing explicit for it coz that's nasty brother!! regardless the lyrics are still pretty blaoouough so if its not your thing steer clear

It's not quite the fact that Tim is smart what makes him their favorite. I mean, Bruce loves them all the same, and while Janet will always love her little boy the most, it's not by much, she loves the others. But Ollie and Lex? It's one thing the kids that one of their best friends adopted, and sure, they're smart and charming and don't get me wrong, they adore them. But Tim is in a whole other level, not so much because of his own personality but because they've loved him since before he was born.

See, Janet in this AU had a difficult pregnancy, but she always wanted to be a mother, and Jack only married her because of the social ladder and agreed to a child because it's expected of them and because she insisted. But he doesn't love her. And he didn't stay by her side during the hard pregnancy— you know who did? Lex, Ollie and Bruce. They watched Tim grow inside Janet's belly, they were there for the ultrasounds, they helped her pick out a name, and they waited in the hospital for Tim to be born. They held him in their arms and they watched as he fought and clung to life. They visited him every day in the NICU and read/talked to him. They did everything in their power (read: threw money at the best doctors and build their own NICU and tech) for him to just make it to his first few months. His first birthday may as well have been the biggest achievement.

They changed his diapers and raised him from scratch, the four of them (plus the occasional involvement of Jack). They taught him how to Person. They were there for his first words, fists steps, first everything. For four whole years he was the center of their little universe. For four full years, it was just four best friends and the little guy.

And then Dick came along, more than twice Tim's age (tim's 4, Dick's 10 because I want him a little older) and raised by his own parents, with his own ideals and personality and temper. His own little person, impressionable as he may be.

Now, Dick is Bruce's everything, his son, his whole damn world. He adores Dick. Everyone does! Ollie and Lex love the little guy, too, that's their nephew. Janet adores him, she's so glad that Tim is not the only kid anymore and that he gets along with Dick. Dick is charming and brilliant, and so kind and yet so fiery and fierce and angry. They love the little shit.

But this is their nephew, as opposed to their pretty much co-parented by all of them child. The only Firsts they get from Dick are his first day of school and first gala. Bruce of course isn't included in this, he loved Dick just as much as Tim and Dick's his baby, and he got his first fight and first weapon and first night as Robin, but none of the others know this. Janet isn't included either because no matter how much she loves Bruce's kids, they don't compare to her own son (yet, at least)

Then Jason comes along. Snarky, skittish, sarcastic little fucker, they love him. He's the happy one of the brothers (Dick and Jason, Tim's not included yet). But again, he's not a baby they get to raise from scratch (tim's 6, Jason's 10, Dick's 12). This doesn't prevent them from loving the two little shits like family, they ARE family, but they're their nephew, Tim's their kid. I repeat, they took turns raising the gremlin, he's their collective co-parented son more than a nephew, while they don't get to raise Jason and Dick, partly because Bruce doesn't go away half as much as Janet does, and when he does they either come with or stay with Alfred.

Also, they know Oliver is Green Arrow but he doesn't know they know, and he doesn't know they're the Robins.

My point is, they don't go stay with Lex or Ollie almost at all, while Tim has a room in each of their homes.

Let me clarify that this is not a biological vs adopted thing.

When Damian comes along, he's raised by both Janet and Bruce (already together) but not by Lex or Ollie. Again, he's their nephew, but not on Tim's level despite being Bruce's bio son, because they didn't get to raise him either. He's on Dick and Jason's level, which is pretty high up. It's like the difference between your siblings and your best friend. You'd kill for either, but you probably love one of them just a little more fiercely.

Also, Tim literally changed the course of Lex's life by just existing. He's a lot less evil just so Janet won't take him away, and if you asked him who his favorite person in the whole universe is, he'd answer Tim without hesitation— not his family, not Bruce, Ollie or Janet, but Tim. He would burn down the world (literally) for him.

Ollie would answer Roy, but Tim is a close second, and the rest of his nephews, then his best friends (good dad Ollie here)

Think about it like Tim being Lex's almost-kid. The rest of the friend group each has at least one child, but he has enough with Tim, up until he makes Kon and learns to love him, but Kon wouldn't be his child if it weren't for Tim convincing him to raise him like a kid and not a weapon.

Ok, hear me out. An AU where Janet Drake is best friends with Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen.

They met in school, and she's a high society girl, not expected or allowed to be much more than a pretty face, but there's this trio of smart idiots (they did all sorts of stupid stuff at school, but they are overall very, very smart), and they're in all sorts of cool classes and extracurriculars, and she wants to learn

So, she snakes her way into the group with well-timed looks and blushes. They eventually include her in all their activities, and so she learns all sort of stuff that she usually wouldn't be allowed to learn, because they help her keep it in the down low. No, she's not taking classes with them, she's being a proper lady and cheering her smart friends on through the oh-so-hard classes.

At some point or another, they all develop a crush on her, fleeting as it may be (they're hormonal teens and they're required to flirt, it was bound to happen)

They flirt publicly, as it keeps the media from pressuring them into relationships— or so they thought. It backfires when they're adults, the media is demanding Janet settle down and stops leading all three of them on. But there would be a scandal if she picked any of them, so she picks Jack, someone who doesn't love her or she loves, but someone desperate enough to climb the social ladder to care if he loves his wife.

When he's not allowed to flirt anymore, that's where Bruce realizes that he actually liked her.

When Tim comes along, and Janet has to go on trips, she leaves him with her trusted friends. So, Tim learns a lot from his Uncle Lex, learns to shoot a bow from his Uncle Ollie, and loves staying with his Uncle Bruce and his children. He figures him out far too easily and does become Robin when Jason figures he's ready to pass on the mantle to his little brother (because they're brothers. Tim spends a lot of time in their house)

Bruce adores Tim, he really does. It just kinda hurts, that he's Janet's kid, but not his.

Eventually, Janet divorces Jack, and she gets to spend a lot more time in Gotham. But by now Tim is as much Bruce's as he is Janet's, so they co-parent the gremlin that is her son, which leads to a lot of time with Bruce.

Bruce treats her better than Jack ever did, and she trusts him far more. They have the memories of years together. Eventually, Bruce tells her the truth— that he never truly moved on from his best friend.

When they marry, sure it's a media circus, but also not a surprise.

She's also a good mom, to Tim as much as to Dick or Jason.

When Jason finds out Catherine is not his mom, sure he gets curious, but he has a mom already, he's happy. He does want to meet his bio mom, but he agrees to do so safely, not go alone. Fine, B, you can come with.

Joker never happens. Jason is disappointed when he finds his mom is not at all what he expected, and he has a much better one at home.

Eventually, when Damian comes into the picture, he's snappy with Janet. "you will never be my mother, you harlot!" but Janet simply puts a hand on his shoulder and speaks calmly, yet sharp as the blade he threatens her with

"You will not speak to me like that, boy. No, I am not your mother. But I am married to your father, and I hold the authority as such, so you will go up to your room, you will cool down, and you will never threaten or insult me again, or you will be grounded."

"You can't do that!"

"She can. She has my full permission to discipline my kids, Damian. In this house, she holds as much authority as I do." Bruce interjects

Damian, begrudgingly, learns to respect Janet, and eventually he does see her as a second mom

The amount of times Oliver or Lex visit the Wayne-Drake household is absurd, but sue them, they like their friends. This leads to a lot of chaos, because every time Oliver visits so does Roy, and Roy hangs out with Dick and Jason, while Damian sticks to glaring at everyone.

Meanwhile, they dote on Tim, because they sure as hell have a favourite nephew, and it's the one they watched grow inside the belly of one of their best friends, the one they all changed the diapers of, the one they've taught a lot of skills to, the one they helped raise in a way they never helped raise any of the other Wayne boys. They don't even try to hide their preference. Now, of course they like all their nephews, but it's always hilarious because when Tim is around his uncle Lex, he's ten times the evil mastermind he generally is, and Oliver encourages it, simply for the chaos, and so does Janet, while Bruce is downright terrified of the idea of Tim as a villain (everyone is)

I've been listening to EPIC:The Musical on repeat for the last few days, and just so you know, I was this close to making one of my fics into a reincarnation fic (DC x EPIC. Especifically Epic and not The Odyssey because the whole fic revolves around music so it's fitting)

So the fic as it is is Tim being married to a woman named Wren, an OC. Together, they are musicians, they're a duo called Howling At The River, and their identities are hidden because Tim didn't want his parents knowing, so Tim is Wolfhart and Wren is Hummingwave.

They met when they were 5 and went from friends to lovers and ultimately eloped during the Brucequest, so his family doesn't know. It's not that he keeps it a secret, it's just that she's such an important and central part of his life that he thinks they know. They don't. They don't know he makes music either, because their identities are magically hidden and it hasn't been brought up.

It's a slice of life fic that I write in between my other fics to keep the creative juices flowing when I have none. It has no plot beyond the Batfam finding out Tim's married and is a relatively famous musician. Beyond that, it's slice of life and a bit of a ranting space because I gave her my disability so now when I'm in a flare, I write Wren in a flare, and she used to be a dancer but now she can't, because dancing was my dream and now I can't (though she did get training where I didn't get to). That's all there is to this.

I'm only two chapters in, and two drafts. So a lot can still change, so I almost made it a reincarnation fic.

Tim would be Odysseus, Wren would be Penelope. Not quite soulmates, not random people either. The Fates figured they made Odysseus suffer enough and took too much family time away from him, so they decided to reincarnate their souls over and over, but not in every lifetime did they find each other.

It is already stated in the first chapter that their meeting felt right, even if they were only five years old. Their love is beyond just love. It's adoration, worship, devotion. They're each other's whole world.

And then Ra's would take her.

And Tim would go full Odysseus on him. Full man-made monster. It's not a battle, it's a damn massacre, as Tim storms into Ra's base, slaughtering any and all assassins he finds. The rest of the Bats arrive a little late and go after him, following the trail of bodies, the absolute river of blood.

They try to stop him, because they don't kill. They'll get her back, just not like this.

Odysseus Tim is not having it. They took his Penelope Birdie. They're going to die.

And so he aims a bow he took from an assassin to them, to his family.

"Listen, I love you. But I love her more. And I will destroy anyone who stands in my way. So move, or I'll go through you." and he's not bluffing. There's no hesitation in his grip. If they try to stop him, they will get an arrow sent their way, whether it'd hurt them or end them isn't something they want to find out. So they let him through.

Meanwhile, Ra's has Wren tied up, and she's surprisingly unafraid. Maybe she's trusting that Tim will get to her. Or, Ra's thinks, maybe she's just stupid and naive.

He figures she can serve as training. There's a young prodigy, a preteen, son of assassins and raised as one as well. He follows orders, he's a natural at fighting, especially swords and bows. And so Ra's brings him forward and tells him to hurt Wren. Not kill—he wants her alive for now— but inflict pain on her.

The boy nods and unsheathes his sword. And then he looks into her eyes and he can't hurt her. He can't. It's not that he can't hurt people. It's not the fear in her eyes, or the lack of it. It's not the pity and compassion in her face. No, it's none of that. He can't put his finger on it, but he feels an unyielding loyalty towards her. He just met her, but he feels the need to protect her.

"Go on, boy."

But he can't. He can't. Ra's gets impatient, and he reaches for her, meaning to tug her up. The boy swings his sword.

Not to Wren. To Ra's. It makes a cut on his arm, superficial, but it's treason. It's a death sentence. Ra's draws his sword, disarms the boy, grabs him by the collar, and prepares to strike the boy down.

And then Tim storms in, shooting an arrow straight towards Ra's. He has tunnel vision right now, he sees red. He doesn't register the boy yet, he just wants Ra's gone.

The arrow misses him for a few inches, but it makes him flinch back and away from the boy, who immediately picks his sword back up, and instead of running, he fights off the other assassins that try to take Wren, while Tim fights Ra's.

Tim doesn't pull back this time. He stabs Ra's repeatedly (think Poseidon) and eventually cuts off his head. Will his death stick? Probably not. He then turns to kill the rest of the assassins, only to find most of them are already dead or wounded. He deals a final blow to the wounded ones and turns his sights on the remaining three assassins, two fighting one. An arrow to the throat takes one out, and the other's throat is slit by the young assassin.

Tim snarls, not trusting this assassin even though he killed the rest. The boy drops his weapons and raises his hands in surrender. He moves slowly, Tim's arrow aimed at his head the whole time as he leans down to take the keys to Wren's cuffs, telegraphing his moves.

"Why did you help her?"

"I don't know. I couldn't hurt her."

"Free her and run. Try anything and you're good as dead, kid."

"Yes, sir."

With slow moves, the boy gets on his knees before Wren, and his trembling fingers get the key into her cuffs. They fall to the ground, and he goes to open the ones on her ankles. Wren runs a hand through his hair.

And the world stops. For all three of them.

Memories of another life rush in. Of waiting, of fighting, of protecting. A husband, a wife, a child. A father, a mother, a son. Memories of days spent weaving, nights unthreading. Of a son protecting his mother from the suitors, of waiting for his father. Memories of fighting gods and ending lives to get to his family.

This is their son. Their Telemachus. Born on another age and to different parents, probably orphaned by Tim's hand, born halfway across the world, with another name, and only like ten years younger than them (they're 22), but their boy nonetheless.

Tim drops his weapons and they embrace. They're safe. Tim won't let anything happen to his son and wife.

"Telemachus..." Wren whispers, tilting the boy's chin up. The boy nuzzles into her palm.

"Mom..."

When the Bats catch up, Ra's is dead (at least for now) as are many other assassins, Wren is safe, and there's a twelve year old assassin being embraced by Tim and Wren.

"Who's that?"

"My son."

"...??? Tim you're twenty two."

"Hi, I'm Elliot."

"And he's my son, ages be damned."

"Ah, pulling a Bruce, I see you."

With their memories now awakened, Telemachus Elliot and Odysseus Tim are unbeatable. They have literally more than a lifetime of experience fighting, after all. Tim was always good, but now he's unstoppable. And he's the only one who can beat Elliot, though Dick is a tough challenge for the boy (not like he encountered many acrobatic-style fighters in Ithaca, or in the League)

Tim gets bolder with his strategies, no longer shy about them. He steps into Odysseus' leadership.

The boy eventually becomes a wolf themed vigilante. Not a bird because he doesn't answer to Bruce, he's not Batman's bird. He's his father's Little Wolf. Maybe Red Robin eventually changes to an owl themed vigilante (nod to Athena)

Father and son are unstoppable. They work with decades of teamwork, they move fluidly, reading each other's moves in a way no one else can.

And they speak Greek. They do so during patrol so that the enemy can't eavesdrop, or during planning, on instinct. They speak Greek between them when they're just hanging out, and they speak Greek with Wren when they want.

Speaking of Wren, they treat her like a Queen. Tim always has, she's his everything. But Elliot started treating her like royalty as soon as he got his memories. He makes her tea, reads to her aloud, and protects her like a loyal guard.

He's very protective of her when it comes to men. If anyone is even remotely creepy to her, he's going all out on them. Tim does so by ruining their lives and exposing their secrets, because he's better adapted to this lifetime. But Telemachus? The boy who had to listen to his mother's suitors talk about abusing her? The boy who guarded his mother's door with his life because if he didn't, they'd use her? He's not having any of it this time around.

One day, while Tim is at work, Elliot and Wren go to a mall. He insists on carrying her bags, even though she can do it. People assume he's her little brother, because again, she's 22 and he's around 12.

At some point, his gaze lingers on a toy section of a store, but he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to leave his mom or make her wait. Luckily, she doesn't need to be told. She notices his longing gaze and encourages him to go check the toys out and get some if he wants while she checks out some clothes. It takes a little convincing, but eventually he agrees.

When he comes back, an owl plushie cradled in his arms, he sees a man ignoring Wren's boundaries and personal space. She repeats that she's married, asks him to leave her alone. He doesn't listen, and instead he reaches to grab her waist. Telemachus sees red.

The toy drops to the floor as he lunges at the man, landing a solid hit to his jaw. That usually would be enough for him, but this guy harassed his mom (just like them). He keeps hitting the man, and Wren knows it's a matter of time before security is called and they're escorted out, probably getting into trouble if he continues.

"Elliot, stop." he doesn't hear her, bringing down hit after hit "Elliot, that's enough!" but he's zoned in, the man pinned to the floor receiving the beating of his life.

"Telemachus!" she snaps. The boy snaps to attention and hurries to get off the man, getting into a soldier position, his focus on his mother, his Queen. He ignores as the man scrambled to his feet, but snarls in his direction as he hears a "crazy bitch" muttered. Wren leans down and picks up the discarded toy, and hands it to him.

"Thank you for defending me, sweetheart. I appreciate it. Let's just not get arrested, hm? Come on, kid."

When they tell all this to Tim, he high-fives his son. When Jason finds out, he buys him candy.

He's the kind of boy that holds other men accountable. Rape jokes and comments do not fly with him. He has and will punch guys twice his size for making those sorts of comments. "What was she wearing?", "she was asking for it", "shouldn't have been out/drunk/alone", "did she say no?", "playing hard to get" and comments of the sort are all one-way tickets to his shit list and probably the hospital, depending on if you double down or apologize.

Elliot is the kind of boy you'd trust with your drink at a party. The kind that covers them and hunches around them, glaring at anyone who comes close.

Also, from his late teens onwards, he acts as a sort of bodyguard for any girl who might need it. It started with a friend of his sitting next to him and asking if he'd do her a favor.

"So, you're... Intimidating."

"Oh? Oh! I'm sorry. Do I make you feel unsafe? Because I would never hurt you, and if it's something I do, please tell me and I'll-"

"No, a good kind of intimidating. The kind that wards off creepy guys. Look, I just, my little sister has a party she has to go to, and there might be a boy there that won't leave her alone. I was wondering if you could accompany her, make sure she's safe? I'll pay you! I can pay you by the hour, I don't care how much, I just want my sister safe and—"

"Hey, stop. Yes, I'll do it. I'll keep her safe. I charge one origami star per hour though." he jokes, because that specific friend makes origami stars all the time and he likes them.

And he goes to Jason to play up the whole "scary guy" vibes. And at the party, the boy approaches the girl, and Elliot looms behind her, and he leaves her alone.

He doesn't like parties, they overstimulate him, but he goes as a bodyguard to his friends so they can enjoy without creepy men. Sometimes he returns home with blood on his knuckles, and it's not his.

Also, just so you know, these two also kind of adopt Bart (who I made five years younger than Tim because creative liberties) and he and Elliot have a funny relationship because while Bart is older than him, Elliot can sometimes behave like the old soul he is. So they're in an eternal circle of "I'm the older sibling", "No, you're not", so they settled on twins.

Anyway, that was the idea I had. But I highly doubt it'll happen, because those who are reading the fic are there for wholesome interactions, not adventure, and they're there for Tim, not for Odysseus and Penelope. Also, I have never written action and I don't know if I could truly write the whole League of Assassins part the way it should be written.