"Aim High. You May Still Miss The Target But At Least You Won't Shoot Your Foot Off."

Peter: Loki! Violence isn’t the answer

Loki: I’m a god. Therefore I have the authority to say it is.

Peter: *pauses* Can’t argue with that logic

Tony: oh no

Clearly you don’t know Johnny Storm

Clint, after being drenched in gasoline: Oh no. Fire is my only weakness.

Y/N: Yeah, fire is everyone’s weakness.

Y/N: It’s fucking fire.

Bucky: Nice hands, Nat.

Nat: Thanks?

Bucky: But they'd look better around my-

Sam: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE! PRAISE RHE LORD JESUS! AMEN!

Thor: *giving uncle advice to peter* Remember, a good romance starts with a good friendship.

Loki: And a bad romance starts with a “ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma”

Sam: Oh hell no! I’m not giving Bucky $100,000 dollars!

Bucky: I would because I hate myself and then because I hate myself would give it all to Steve. He deserves it

Rhodey: You’re offered $50,000, but if you accept, the person you hate the most in the world would get $100,000– do you take it?

Tony: Why would I miss out on the chance to get 150,000

Tony scolding Peter for doing stupid and dangerous things on patrol: Why?! You’re going to get yourself killed!

Peter and Loki: Here for a good time not a long time

Shuri coming in with a bottle of bleach: I was summoned and I brought drinks.

The problem is Gray never knows where his clothes are

Juvia: Juvia is cold.

Gray: Here have my jacket.

Lucy: I'm cold.

Natsu: Want me to set you on fire?

Loki summoning daggers:

Where is it?!

Thor frantically trying to calm him down:

Loki, wait!! You should treat spiders how you wish to be treated!

Loki:

Killed without hesitation!

Thor:

Not again! Please stop dying!

Reacting to a kidnapping attempt part 3:

Guardians of the Galaxy edition

Quill

Gamora

Drax

Rocket

Mantis

Groot

Nebula

The spider that bit Peter Parker’s was from a cross-species genetics lab right? Think of the possibilities for fanfiction and headcanons.

P.S. I’m starting an au oneshot book about this. It doesn’t exist yet though. It will be on Wattpad because I can’t find my drafts on Tumblr ever. @adopted_by_hestia is the account