What About The Ones Who Don't Figure It Out? Do They Splash Around In Love Till Someone Comes Along And

Pain still lingers,

in places you left untouched.

Craving for a healing,

that never found its way to me.

No one deserves this slow death,

but I'll be lying if say I hate it.

Sweet words unspoken,

make cuts deeper than oceans.

Yet you left it that way,

knowing I'd never survive by myself.

Maybe I was wrong when I thought I loved you.

Maybe I just loved myself a little less.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/08/2021

10:50 am

You think at some point you'll figure life out. But it's doesn't happen. I've been waiting, patiently, hopefully. But it's the same as before. I have my life in my hands, but I can't seem to place the pieces together. There are no patterns or silhouettes in there. No path, nor a destination. Like a silent river that flows till it meets the sea....my life is flowing till it meets the sky.

I've given up on trying to figure it out. I shall wait under the shade of the afternoon slumber, rest and wakeup while the world goes on. Let it unfold on its own. And I'll gladly welcome it home.

Singing your praises to the stars have kept me alive for the last few centuries, but now that you've found another to orbit around, will it make a difference if I burn brighter than the sun until my wings have caught fire and I look like the dream you see in your sleep?

I can forget the pain of a few burns if it means keeping you warm.

I love the morning sun's kisses

And the sweet smelling flowers.

I love the way the rain dances on the lake

And the song of the wind.

I love the tenderness of a daffodil

And the depth of the vast blue sea.

I love the way the mountains stand guard

And the calm reassurance of the flowing river.

I love the little frog under the big shroom

And the cute little dance of a squirrel.

I love the slowness of the setting sun

And the gentleness of the moon's light.

I think I am falling in love with this life

And it's warm embrace.

Ohh to be surrounded by all this beauty.

Ohh to be me.

I woke up to the sound of his heartbeats.

It's a slow rhythm, one that comforts me in this darkness.

With only the light of the fake phosphor stars,

I can see his pale, beautiful face.

He's asleep, but very much alive.

At least for now.

At least for a few hours,

I'll still be able to embrace the warmth that's him.

Until the fuel runs out and we are doomed forever,

I can hug him and listen to his soft breaths.

There's a strange beauty to our current situation.

We're literally lost among the stars.

Held by the other, breathing the same air,

we float amidst the lights in the vast empty darkness,

miles away from the place we once called home.

Because now, nothing else exists to me except him.

Now, all that's real are his arms around my body.

Entwined together, our fingers are the last remnants of life.

And as I drift away into sleep once more,

I press my lips to his shoulder.

A final goodbye,

and then we're gone,

together.

Two hearts lost in space, and in each other,

till the end of time, perhaps.

Love is so strange.

It's different for different people.

And it's different during different seasons.

It was a summer afternoon in May,

when I loved someone for the very first time.

I felt like somebody had sprinkled fairy dust inside me.

It felt all tingly and sparkly and good in every way.

Then autumn came and it was September,

when you said you loved me for the first time.

I knew what butterflies felt like in my tummy.

A beautiful cool sensation, jittery yet so magical.

But soon after, winter visited as well.

I was left alone on the park bench,

in the midst of December,

while you held her hand and walked away.

The fairy dust of the summer,

started choking me up.

I ran home and closed the bathroom door.

And ended up puking all over.

I guess those were the butterflies I felt in Autumn,

now all dead and garbage.

As I waited for the winter to pass,

I dreaded the arrival of summer.

I didn't want no more fairy dust and butterflies.

All I wanted was to be me again.

To stop feeling dead and grey all the time.

It was February suddenly,

and I was walking to my favourite coffee shop.

I hadn't been there in a while,

and I missed it like anything.

Half way through my favourite book,

you stumbled upon me and fell.

We smiled and apologized,

and I extended my hand out to you.

It was when you grabbed my outstretched hand,

that I suddenly remembered spring existed as well.

© Moonyloonywitch

10/08/2021

There will always be reasons to return.

In the form of old forgotten promises.

Or slow songs filled with a sort of comforting sadness.

Patter of the raindrops will call you back.

Every twinkle of the stars will remind you of home.

Of the heart that awaits yours after all this time.

It's never too late they say.

But it still is too early, says time.

The passing days are a blur of white and gold.

But in the tiredness of the lonely night,

your smile still keeps me warm.

Sometimes I wonder if I have wandered too far,

but then I close my eyes and there you are.

Right beneath my skin and always on my mind.

Space and time may keep us apart,

but still the yearning hearts find ways to be alive.

There's a kind of hope that stems from helplessness.

And everytime I crave your voice, I hope I can hear them in the soft crackle of the summer's fires.

The colors of it seems too much like the shade of your eyes.

It soothes me in this lone journey of mine,

What a pity that I can't hold it in my palm.

But then again fire and water never did get along.

Except maybe for us.

Is that why the stars were aligned like this?

So that I may cross unknown oceans and you may burn in my absence.

But they never anticipated that love might find a way.

Because we did and we always will.

It's getting cold and dark and the sky is full of stars that remind me of your eyes.

Maybe when morning comes I can take my first step back home.

Towards your waiting arms.

And towards our forever.

There's a pool of sadness in my being.

And sometimes I can hear it sing.

An eerie voice lingering long after it ends.

Accompanied by ghostly visions of the past.

Sometimes it sings at dawn.

And sometimes it sings when I am asleep.

But always, always, it sings only when I am alone.

The constant hum has a blue softness.

Almost like the way my smile looks on my tired days.

But on rare days the hum becomes a vibrant violet.

And feels like the shade of the magic in my eyes.

The songs are about the things I hold in my heart.

Like the stories of my childhood times,

and the places where I left pieces of who I am.

But on nights when I can no longer fall asleep,

the songs take on a familiar tune.

They become the whispers of the restless sea,

and the slow crackling of the campfire on the shore.

It brings back the smell of the waves,

the vibrations of their crashing spreading through my bones.

For a brief moment, I become a child again.

Free to laugh and smile,

and free to sleep without the usual accompaniment of nightmares.

Even though all of this is in my head,

simply the long gone moments from my past,

the ghostly visions are what keeps me sane.

Reminding me that not always will life be so blue.

And that blue is not always so sad.

Knowing this, the pool of sadness sings on and on.

The humming taking on a sweeter tone.

© Moonyloonywitch

Past lives flicker through my mind, as I stand gazing up at the moon. The night's pretty much silent, except for the slow rumbling of thunder in the distance. Every now and then, a cool breeze goes past me. I stand in the moonlight, waiting for a miracle.

You said you'd meet me here, under this old tree covered in moss. It's almost dawn now, and still no sign of you. I have second thoughts, debating whether to turn around and go. Maybe you meant it as a joke.

Afterall, gods never fall for beings beneath them.

Sighing quietly, I start walking back to my home. It was a waste of time, I realise now. I should've never trusted your words.

I pass the lavender patch, and a familiar fragrance hits me. Smiling at the full blooms around me, I sit down on the damp earth and close my eyes. The smell of lavender takes me back to my favourite memory. You sitting beside me as I laugh at your joke.

I open my eyes and find that my vision has blurred. I hate crying but that's all I wanna do right now. Feeling like stones sinking in my stomach, I lay my head in the ground and weep.

The night has become a tired dream, and the stars have gone and hid.

But when you slowly started wiping my tears away, I felt like the world was holding its breath. I sit up and lock eyes with you.

"I thought you wouldn't come" I said in a barely there whisper.

"I wanted to make sure that you were serious about this. About us." You replied in an equally quiet whisper.

"So you were testing me? " I ask with fresh tears in my eyes.

"Not really. More like I was testing myself. And I failed. When the first tear ran down your face, it felt like I was stabbed here." You take my hands and place it over your heart.

And surprisingly enough I felt it beat.

And that hasn't happened in a long time.

© Moonyloonywitch

26/08/2021

I am glad that I met you.

Or else I would've never met myself.

And I am glad that you left me.

So now I know that being by myself is not so bad.

Sure, I was broken into tiny pieces when you stopped holding hands.

Sure, I did cry myself to sleep whenever I thought of your cold eyes.

I bared my soul and you gripped it a little too tight.

Now I lay broken, and like the blood in my veins, I flow through your cold fingers.

Drip by drip I fall onto the floor, a puddle of dreams and uncherished love.

But somewhere along the way, the red started to turn black.

And somewhere along the way, my tears started to form stars.

The tired sighs that fell from my lips have turned to swirls of white and gold.

The day you broke me, I fell.

I fell a human, and landed a galaxy.

I can still feel the pain of your touches.

But on those days, I burn a little more brighter.

I may have been broken once, but I gathered the pieces and here I stand.

A galaxy amidst the vast, cold emptiness that's you.

A galaxy that you can never touch without burning yourself too.