As Much As I Love Angst I Do Also Adore Familial League Of Assassins Shit, And Since I Keep Seeing Them

Dear EPIC Community

please reblog once with the next line, and let's see if we can get through the whole musical)

*ahem*

"Alright, my brothers listen closely

the thing I find charming about the jedi apprentice books is the absolute dedication to giving obi wan a taster of literally every other character's personal trauma.

oh you were a child slave? yeah that happened to him. you had to kill someone you cared about to protect innocent lives? yeah he did that at like 13. you were forced to lead children into battle as a child yourself? obi wan did that. you had to live on the run from all factions of a planet torn by civil war? that happened to obi wan like three times.

also as an adult he never once mentions any of this. icon behaviour.

Yea so Ody is finally home and he’s with his wife and son. It’s all cool and fun. But hold on. Can you imagine how HORRIFYING Odysseus and his family must be to other Royals now?

Here is a king that fought monsters, witches, slaughtered most of the male Nobles in his kingdom. FOUGHT POSEIDON AND MADE HIM BEG FOR MERCY!

And worst of all, he is crazy smart. So negotiating or trying to make deals with Odysseus must be the most horrifying thing in existence at the time. You can’t threaten him, you can’t negotiate a better position than him, you can only just sit there and smile as you pray you don’t accidentally offend him.

Oh and that’s not all, If Penelope also dislikes you, you’re f***ed. Because Odysseus fought a war for 10 years over an oath. Imagine what he would do if someone tried something with his wife… OH WAIT, we don’t have to. He SLAUGHTERED them! And she might not even need him to.

She is from Sparta and by Odysseus own words JUST AS SMART AS HIM. The main reason she didn’t go out and fight those nobles/kick them out is because of the laws of hospitality (which are enforced by Zeus). But with her god piercer husband, she doesn’t need to be so polite anymore. And she held the kingdom together for 20 years! She knows how to handle business. So yea, don’t mess with her either.

And his kid? He’s a warrior of the mind now! Who has the favor of ATHENA! WHO in a very short time learned how to fight. Going from losing a fist fight, to fighting dozens of men who only overwhelmed him because he got TIRED of kicking their asses! He has ATHENA on his side as his best friend. Dont even try

Point is The Ithaca royal family is a f***ing nightmare to deal with now.

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

to the people who are following me

thank you

im sorry

Not a moment of peace

...i will be right back

Your are the monarch of a historical/fantasy kingdom, who perished many years ago and your name is only written down in recorded history, know only to future generations.

Out of the 130 options in the picker wheel here (all are gender neutral),

And yes: there is a 'no epithet' option in there.

I got The Oathtaker.

That one mutual you had like three convos with forever ago, whom you consider a dear friend and whom you would willingly die for without hesitation

@periwinkle-the-11th

I would love to see a fic where Kal Skirata and his associates meet the Command Batch. (I'll write it myself. Eventually.)

The second Kal -- or any of them, actually, said something along the lines of, oh, I don't know, "Must be hard, working with a bunch a baby-stealers" or more Jedi-bashing shit like that, we all know how they'd react.

Cody: Listens for a moment, then politely sets off a riot.

Rex: "Okay, bitch, get over here."

Wolffe: There's a mass murder. How dare you insult his father?

Doom: Hits the speaker in the groin.

Neyo: "First off, FUCK YOU--"

Fox: "I want a Jedi! I don't give a fuck if they're baby-stealers, I need one!"

Bly: Strangles the speaker.

Bacara: He lets them talk for a while, laughs hysterically, and beats the shit out of them with his helmet. The only one allowed to be an acidic bastard toward his Jedi is him, goddammit! (If Ki-Adi is watching, he's touched by his Commander's display of affection.)

Gree: Proceeds to rip their reasoning apart with detailed fact-checking and citations. He has a slide show with dancing graphics.

Ponds: Gives them the glare his General gives to particularly enraging Separatists.

Monnk: Raises his middle fingers. Then he raises his middle toes.

Ahsoka sipping on some hot chocolate: Where's the fire?

Rex frantically rushing past Ahsoka: Jesse dared Fives to try out his pick up lines on Kenobi! I have to stop this!

Ahsoka now jogging along with him: Master Obi-wan is pretty chill, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Rex: It's not Kenobi I'm worried about.

-----------------

Fives, seating himself down across from Obi-wan in the mess: Your robes look nice today sir.

Members of Ghost now staring at Fives in horror:

Obi-wan, trying not to laugh: Oh? Thank you.

Fives, ignoring the shadow that falls across him: You know where they'd look even better?

Cody, hand suddenly gripping Fives shoulder, with the most deadpan menacing voice: Where would that be trooper?

Fives, life flashing before his eyes: Right where they're at sir!