SNK S4 EP13: CHILDREN OF THE FOREST

There has been a great deal of discussion about what would appeal to the character of William James Moriarty—what dishes he would enjoy, which types of tea he would favor, how he would sleep, and so on. But let’s focus instead on what he would not like.

The desire to live in aesthetics—have you ever considered how utopian and absurd it is, how pro-capitalist it is, thereby representing a piece of the foundation for class inequality? In our time, every "aesthetic" is nothing more than a consumption product, as everyone who wishes to be part of it is not an innovator but a consumer. It represents the final stage not just of the capitalist social structure but of fading thought. People are divided not only into masculinity and femininity, classes, but into entire groups defined by a particular "aesthetic," which in turn fosters stereotyping and limited thinking.

When we see someone in a classic outfit with the hashtag "dark academia," we automatically assume they represent a developed member of society. Do not mistake my words—this is not about individuals but the bubble they stand under, unknowingly supporting. Many of us are familiar with Donna Tartt’s widely acclaimed novel, "The Secret History." This book did not fulfill its purpose. Fans of the book like to argue and say that it satirizes the romanticization of bourgeois pseudo-intellectual lifestyles—yet it failed to do so. Each of Tartt’s books, which has become a symbol of the "dark academia" aesthetic wave, was not written to embed ideas in the masses but rather for mindless consumption.

The need to "aestheticize" has led to the aestheticization and exploitation of religions, books, writers, incorrect historical facts, and misguided interpretations of literature.

In the term "dark academia," there is a lot of darkness and very little "academia," because currently, the books associated with this category do not provide food for thought. It has become more about ties and suits, shirts and chessboards. No, you can’t be both Albert Camus and Fyodor Dostoevsky—have you actually read their works? Have you delved into their contexts, the conditions under which they wrote, and, most importantly, the historical periods they were writing in? Where they were born and what influenced them? Clearly, no.

And this is where the pursuit of so-called "aestheticism" becomes a catastrophe. It is not done for the sake of knowledge, which should always be shared—bringing something to society. It is done for a couple of photos, a few videos, and a few out-of-context quotes from books.

The very popularization of a book that has clearly failed to achieve its purpose, along with the continued use of "prominent" names in Russian literature, stands as evidence of my argument. This wave of aestheticization is nothing more than yet another elegant veil of pseudo-intellectualism.

This is precisely why I cannot take seriously the fans of William who present themselves in this manner. William would never have appreciated all this decorative frippery; he would have condemned it outright.

today i want to present you Gabi ‘i don’t fucking care about Falco’ Braun:

yeah

she doesn’t give a shit about Falco just at all

bonus:

Lanzhou and Control

[spoilers up to chapter 220ish]

So I’ve been working on a future post and have been rereading my personal chapter summaries and notes. As I refreshed my memory and even reread some specific chapters, I ended up asking google a question that sent me to an interesting Reddit post.

Basically someone said they didn’t understand why Shen Zechuan initiated intercourse in chapters 40-41. Someone else gave a very thoughtful reply which you can read here, but the part I’m focusing on for this post is Shen Zechuan’s relationship with control. The replier shared, amongst other things, that Shen Zechuan gave Xiao Chiye control in that situation.

I actually just reread chapter 40 today and noticed that on page 413 of vol. 1 it says “Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to gather his wrists into one hand”. I never really thought much of that phrase in my previous readings of volume 1, but I feel like that it only really sunk in for me after getting better acquainted with their relationship as it developed.

Throughout the story it’s repeated over and over how both leads HATE having their lives out of their hands. Xiao Chiye despises that he was forced away from his family and home. And Shen Zechuan hates how he was held at the mercy of others for years as well; vowing to never be in such a position again. Both of these individuals crave freedom. And yet, Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to do as he pleased with him.

Now, their first time being intimate has a lot of nuance to it. They both used that moment to escape reality for a time. And this particular instance of relinquished autonomy literally had Shen Zechuan expecting to be handled roughly. But once their relationship developed into a mutual romance, time and time again, Shen Zechuan surrenders control, letting Xiao Chiye take the lead, and following his whims.

I’m currently at chapter 220 and while some of their unions still have escapist undertones, there are still pure romantic moments where Shen Zechuan completely gives himself up to Xiao Chiye. And I think it shows a key difference in these two’s desire for control: Xiao Chiye likes to dominate by nature while Shen Zechuan feels like he has to for survival. Not to call Xiao Chiye a freak, but bro is literally described as enjoying fights, likes the struggle of taming wild animals, and is possessive as hell! While Shen Zechuan’s need for control stemmed from being abused by others throughout his life. When he’s not in control, he gets hurt. So that told him when he’s in control, he can protect himself.

I have taken mental note of a few scenes during Shen Zechuan’s conquering Zhongbo era where he’s tired or even annoyed by the work that goes into running essentially a country. But why doesn’t he delegate those tasks to others? Because unless he is genuinely incapable of getting the job done himself, he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. He’s also stated several times that he doesn’t desire to be at the top: two examples that immediately came to mind being in chapter 70 when Xiao Chiye asks “Don’t you want a turn at the top?” and in Shen Zechuan’s conversation with Yao Wenyu in chapter 146. While in both of these instances he was bluffing, part of me thinks there is at least a semblance of truth to the statement.

When he lived with the Jis in Duanzhou, he was content with his simple life. He wanted to be like his brother and become a squad commander one day, but that’s nowhere near as ambitious as taking over and bringing peace to several prefectures. He was happy. And then his world was flipped upside down.

While I don’t think he necessarily regrets the path he is on now, he definitely misses simpler times. In chapter 209 Shen Zechuan says he forced himself to stop thinking about his days in Duanzhou because remembering those times make him cry. He was forcefully removed from a life he loved, and thrusted into the middle of a violent political struggle.

All of this to say, while Shen Zechuan is implied to be a natural leader and has a domineering nature, it isn’t really a position he chose to be in. Every action he takes is deeply calculated from multiple angles for the best possible outcome. Even carefully crafting his persona to attempt to control how he’s perceived. And living your life like that is DRAINING!

Oh man, Shen Zechuan is tired 😩

But when he’s with Xiao Chiye, he can turn his brain off. He can forget about his meetings. Forget about trying to watch everything the other enemy factions are doing. Forget about trying to put up a front as to not scare those around him with his true self. He can melt into Xiao Chiye and think of nothing but him.

I think the real turning point in their relationship was in the Public Ditches arc. Shen Zechuan is literally out of commission for several days due to illness and Xiao Chiye came to watch him every single night. Shen Zechuan had no choice but to let Xiao Chiye take care of him… but the tenderness Xiao Chiye showed him? The genuine concern? The comforting whispers and cuddles? It left an impression on Shen Zechuan.

I think Xiao Chiye’s sincerity truly shined through to him in those moments. None of those actions were necessary, and yet Xiao Chiye ran himself ragged handling his professional work and his silly little guy.

Shen Zechuan being cherished in such a vulnerable moment showed him that he could really trust Xiao Chiye. Half a decade before, people in power took advantage of Shen Zechuan and pinned the deaths of tens of thousands on a confused and delirious teenaged boy, while this big love struck dummy showed Shen Zechuan an intimacy he had never experienced before. And that’s so beautiful I could cry.

Shen Zechuan doesn’t need to be on his guard around Xiao Chiye, and Xiao Chiye likes being a leader. Shen Zechuan has his trusted confidant and Xiao Chiye tamed his falcon. …well, work in progress. His falcon still gets himself hurt carelessly.

Shen Zechuan needed stability and someone to lean on. And he found that in Xiao Chiye.

I have so many thoughts. OMG I’m so unwell about these two. I started writing this at 3am and forced myself to go to bed and finish it upon waking up. They drive me crazy. All the worm in my brain are Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye shaped!!!

In my next essay I shall explore why they rolepla—

“You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart.”

Thinking about Buddhism as it relates to Madoka Magica, sadly for the first time as I have no personal frame of reference surrounding the religion as a white Canadian.

I think just as much as Madoka criticizes aspects of Christianity, it is also criticizing Buddhism. Namely that the salvation Buddhists seek in the pursuit of nirvana can rob us of our inherent human experience.

“According to Buddhist tradition, the Buddha taught that attachment or clinging causes dukkha (often translated as "suffering"), but that there is a path of development which leads to awakening and full liberation from dukkha”.

Huh. Attachment and clinging causes suffering… where have we seen-

Homura is the fairly straightforward unideal person in Buddhism. Attachment and clinging in Buddhism is called ‘tanha’, and there are three main pillars of it, each of which Homura represents in Rebellion (and the girls all represent with their wishes):

1. Kama-Tanha: Craving for sensory pleasures. These are usually material things and mostly associated with our base desires, like food, sex, wealth even, etc.

2. Bhava-Tanha: Craving to be something, to exist, to unite with an experience. This one is more difficult to understand; but it seems to relate to the idea of wanting to be important and exist in others’ lives and thoughts.

3. Vibha-Tanha: Craving for non-existence. The desire to not experience unpleasant things, and also the desire for self-annihilation (suicide). Homura exemplifies this one strongly.

Buddhists seek to distance themselves from these things in order to seek nirvana, the cessation of desire and thus of suffering. But when you are left without this ‘suffering’, you are also left without the beautiful things in life.

What is a life worth living without desires? What is life for a god who has no attachments? Madoka Magica through Homura, the antithesis to Buddhist ideals, asks this question blatantly in the Concept Movie Trailer.

What is happiness without delicious food and sunbeams (sensory kama pleasures) or connections and existence (bhava)?

Madoka’s existence as a so called enlightened being in heaven (nirvana) goes against what makes us human beings, and her own happiness in turn.

The cessation of desire, a driving force for basic human emotions, does little but make you emotionless and numb. It disconnects you from relationships. What then is to differentiate you from emotionless Incubators?

Attachment and clinging can bring despair to people like Homura in Rebellion. But in the right circumstances, attachment, desire - it brings happiness and love. It is happiness and love. Without suffering, there is no joy. Is an existence without joy worthwhile?

the you i knew

stormbringers fucking insane for using rimlaine as a contrast to skk. these two couldnt trust each other fully and rimbaud only believed he could help verlaine feel human, not truly be so, and still considered him Other, however much he believed them to be equals, verlaines humanity only existed in rimbauds eyes because he gave it to him. verlaines inability to accept his own humanity or even really that rimbauds feelings for him were genuine because he, alone, singular, monstrously set apart from humanity, should be incapable of receiving anything resembling affection or genuine understanding, such that it left him betraying his partner. and then they cannot exist as two beings working seamlessly together. rimbaud and verlaine in fact cannot exist as two beings at all, only as one conjoined entity. verlaine kept alive with rimbauds skill, and rimbaud, long dead and refusing that reality until he can find his partner, existing only as an extension of verlaine. while skk who do trust each other blindly, who do see humanity in each other enough to look past when they doubt it in themselves, who see humanity not as a defined be or be not, but as a set of values, as a do or do not. they are able to exist as one act in two parts. interdependent, always, even down to their skills, but still functioning as one unit in two separate cogs made to fit together.

There is a cyclic tragedy inherent to Mori's character wherein he's actually a deeply lonely man, but it's mostly because his resolve to do morally reprehensible things and think of people as pieces on the game board is something he prioritizes over his relations with those very same people, and this inevitably pushes them away (for very understandable reasons). And it kind of sucks honestly because the most frustrating thing about Mori is that he 100% has the potential to be a fantastic teacher and mentor, and more than that, I think he loves it! Just look at Beast! But for as long as he decides he needs to be the one to make "the hard calls" to "preserve peace", then Mori will inevitably continue in this cycle of alienating all the people he has a fondness for.

I do feel as though Mori's loneliness is something he views as a necessary sacrifice that he is making for the greater good (and if he is so willing to sacrifice, then Dazai's unwillingness to do the same comes out of left field because - "what do you mean? you're supposed to be just like me!").

Anyways.

Mori voice: "I'm so alone"

Also Mori: *continues to prioritize pure logic over the emotions of his people and himself*

The people: *get rightly angry and/or become extremely traumatized and leave him*

Mori voice: "I did what needed to be done"

Mori: "..."

Mori: "..."

Mori: "I'm so alone"

Sir. You are doing this to yourself.

William and the Fibonacci sequence

While math isn't really the main focus of the story, being a mathematician is still an important element of William's personality and mindset. It's the lens through which he views the world, incorporates experience, and thus gives meaning to things around him.

That's also the reason why I find so peculiar one little remark that he tells Sherlock at their first meeting:

"While that was a slightly forced deduction, you did make quite a good observation. However, rather than the golden ratio, I am more interested in the Fibonacci sequence."

The question is: why in this particular case does William correct Sherlock and specifically point out that he's interested in the Fibonacci sequence, but not in the golden ratio itself? The golden ratio and the Fibonacci sequence are closely intertwined with one another. There isn't any real reason why he would be interested in one thing but not in the other if he were solely curious about the properties of the spiral.

So, maybe, it isn't about the math and the spiral at all?

To answer this question, I'd like to look at the chapter's context first.

In a sense, ch. 5 is quite special by itself, as it represents the point of no return in the story. It has two major points to focus on. One of them is the final introduction of William's grand plan, which he had not revealed in full up until now. Another one is the moment when William meets Sherlock for the first time, or the staircase scene in question.

Now, as William states, at the core of his plan lies "the play of death". He means to turn London into a grand stage, and so, every step he takes is a carefully written plot that has an underlying message and a running theme, connecting one act with the other. Everything is measured and well within his control, as if he were indeed a screenwriter writing a play.

Luring Lord Enders into committing a crime serves to prove William's intention as well. While carefully guiding him to a breaking point, William is even shown to think of each step of his plan as a "scene". And right up to the meeting at the staircase, he ensures to execute this project through and through, not leaving a single possibility unattended, and not a single moment unaccounted for.

In other words, a good chunk of the chapter is dedicated to showing William's approach to what he's doing, as well as to his vision of himself as a director of a play. which he is not, but that's a topic for another time

Coming back to the Fibonacci sequence, it is evident that here it resembles exactly William's grand plan. It's the sequence of actions, or rather deaths, that he intends to carry out. While taking a step back to observe the stairs, he also takes in the whole picture of the stage that he so carefully set, and the actors at play.

But what's even more interesting to me here is the golden ratio and William's lack of attention to it. The golden ratio is an irrational number. It is the limit, towards which all ratios of the sequence must converge, but one that cannot be reached. It's the ideal.

It's William's wish to create the ideal country, or even world, devoid of all humanity's corruption.

So, why won't he look at his ideal, for which he yearns so much?

Being a mathematician, one of William's problems throughout the story is that he's constantly seeking a single, clear-cut solution. He dedicated his whole life to coming up with an equation that could've led him to his desired outcome, his ideal world. And the equation he came up with was that of utilizing the fear of death in people's hearts.

But the reality of a human heart and mind is far more complex for any possible calculation. It's just as irrational and ever-present, as the golden ratio itself.

Seeing how William constantly adjusts his plans, I think that he, as a true mathematician (and a perfectionist to the bone), at one point became far more obsessed with finding the ideal solution for his equation, rather than the end goal itself. On the other hand, he also feels a desperate need to hold every possible thing within his control. And especially Sherlock Holmes, who very much dislikes playing his assigned role in William's play.

But another reason would be that William must really not be able to imagine how this beautiful world of his is supposed to look, as he never intended to see it for himself.

In William's eyes, he's just another one of many numbers in the sequence.

Another devil to die before wrapping up the ultimate solution that he was searching for all this time.