Writing Porn Just For The Sake Of Porn Is Super Valid Actually.

Omg...

Can these evil gentlemans grab those little ladies even softer then they already do? XD

They're like: 'be careful with the ladies'

This is so cute :3

reading the anti takes about AO3 feels exactly like this

hey sorry if this isnt true i forgot exactly where i read it but this person should be brutalised and subjected to some of the most horrific acts of cruelty humanity has ever seen. it might be nothing though i might have the people mixed up

Fun facts about Fran Bow #2

(It's also about Little Misfortune)

Both Fran's and Misfortune's fate was decided before they were even born.

I... I don’t know what I’m doing...

In 2015, I compiled a list of innuendos spoken by the different characters in Crash Tag Team Racing. Here they are, though I’m certain now that it’s an incomplete list:

Coco (when clashing): “Hey, not so hard!”

Coco (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “This is why this girl likes big guns.”

Crunch (when starting a race): “Let’s… get… bizzay!”

Crunch (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “Call me daddy!”

Crunch (when picking up an item): “Mmm, lay some, sugah!”

Crunch (when running over a Park Drone): “Not even prison-pretty no more!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash, you must point me in the direction of the nearest lavatory. MY ROCKET IS DRAINING!”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Crash! We must really stop meeting like this! I told you… only after 10PM… don’t call me here.”

N. Gin (talking to Crash): “Oi Crash! You… didn’t see me with that peacock feather, did you?”

N. Gin (when Crash attacks him): “Ow! That hurt! Thank you.”

N. Gin (when starting a race): “Okay, who thinks they’ve got the marbles?”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “That hurt my colon so much!”

N. Gin (brushing against an opponent’s vehicle): “Ow, my chapped thighs!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “NO! The sweet pain!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “Oh, the sweet searing agony!”

N. Gin (when his vehicle is destroyed): “The delicious burning!”

N. Gin (when picking up an item): “Oh, the firm love of a fine Power Crystal.”

N. Gin (when winning a race): “More! Shoot more lovely weapons at me!”

N. Gin (during the credits): “Hey– what? Stephanie, I love you! You can touch me if you want… hee-hee-hee… please.”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “Nobody makes me bleed from there!”

Dr. Cortex (when attacked by Crash): “The pain! The sweet pain!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Ladies react very favorable to that.”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill): “Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!”

Dr. Cortex (when starting his vehicle from a standstill or passing an opponent vehicle): “Who’s your daddy?”

Dr. Cortex (when passing an opponent vehicle): “Ain’t my backside pretty?”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “I’m hiding this Crystal in my special place.”

Dr. Cortex (picking up an item): “Begin quivering with excitement!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against an opponent): “Come back here and plow into me like a man!”

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “¿Dónde están mis pantalones?” (Translation: Where are my pants?)

Dr. Cortex (when brushing against a wall): “Summon my proctologist!”

Dr. Cortex (when destroying an opponent vehicle): “It’s not my fault he sucks platypus eggs!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “Fool! Watch where you’re aiming that thing!”

Dr. Cortex (when hit by a weapon): “I’d rather be the hammer than the nail.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Wow, that felt good!”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Now move a little to the left… that’s better.”

Dr. Cortex (when clashing): “Not bad! We need to see each other more often.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “And I’m spent.”

Dr. Cortex (when de-clashing): “Now tell me how my backside looks. Tell me!”

Dr. Cortex (when losing a race): “That’s just wrong in every sense of the word!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Michelle! Be seeing you later. Oh, and Michelle, say hi to JOE’s kids, Neo Andrew and Neo Nicole.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Mr. Plumbly, you really know how to shoot one pass the goalie! Wink wink, nudge nudge! Little Plumbly is proof of that.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Trevor would like to thank the Olsen Twins, whom he’s never met.”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “Hello, Corey’s wife, Laura. You dirty girl!”

Dr. Cortex (during the credits): “And Dwayne Shephard. Nobody says [insert long bleep here] with such authority.”

Nina Cortex (when de-clashing): “Was it good for you, too?”

Pasadena (when talking to Crash): “You gettin’ heat stroke, Crash? You need mouth to mouth or somethin’?”

Pasadena (when attacked by Crash): “Stop whoopin’ me~”

Von Clutch (when picking up an item): “Oh, I am tingling with delight! At least I think that’s delight.”

Von Clutch (when running over a Park Drone): “I know that shouldn’t feel good. But it does!”

no offense but some of y'all should really consume more weird media ok some of y'all are ready to clutch your pearls at the mere sight of the slightest offbeat concept in speculative fiction and this can't go on

I wanted to make this for a long time now XD

Modern fandom went awry when people stopped learning how to avoid content that upsets them and instead starting actively seeking it out.

I mean this in the kindest, most loving way possible, but babes you'll be so much happy when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

You'll never be able to stop people from liking what you hate, and the best way you'll find any peace of mind is properly utilizing blocking, blacklisting, and muting tools. Take it from someone who used to run a shipping discourse blog, fandom is supposed to be what you enjoy, stop focusing on things that upset you.

Glowy dark mode site skin

🎼 You would not believe your eyes, if 10 million fireflies ended up in the header of your AO3. 🎶

It's been a while since I tried glow effects, but I saw the fireflies and I couldn't resist.

CSS code and instructions for adding a skin to your account can be found posted on AO3 here.