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I've swallowed my pride and spat my feelings out

Told you things no one cares to know about

You knocked down my walls and I stripped my armor

Opened the windows, welcomed you to my doors

We were happy, explored the rooms together

Built new ones, through the gardens we wander

Yet as I offer you a permanent place, you refuse

You're my story but I'm not your muse

Told me you were only having fun and passing through

A temporary shelter, until you find someplace better suited for you.

Her

She's such a sweet rose

The bright spring, in a dark, cold winter

She's all I can remember

She has that angelic grace

That saved me from my demons and monsters

But maybe it'll be best to forget her

For all her smiles,

Her laugh, her voice that used to make me better

All faded away the day she chose her lover.

Ruins

You're still stuck in the crevices of my mind

Still haunting all the places I can find

I've given you the key, offered my chains

Hoping for a shelter, yet you turned out to be rain

You promised freedom but you are chaos

You made certain I'll never recover from your loss

Yet still here I am, waiting for your forgiveness

Still believing you're my one shot at happiness

Will I ever be free from the angel in my memory?

Will a time come when I'll finally see?

That the pedestal I put you on has already been toppled

And the sand castle we've built have long since crumbled.

Bittersweet

I hear the rain softly tapping on the window

As I slumber and continue to burrow

In my blankets, blocking the noise with my pillow

I can still hear your twinkling laugh, see you glow

And I can't open my eyes yet and go

For in these fragments of dreams, I can make you stay

Make myself believe that you never say

Goodbye, and forget that fateful day

Forget your broken promise, that you ever went away.

Spellbound

You smile and I feel myself melt

Are these the cards I was dealt?

For I'd certainly lose in the depth of your eyes

In that honey in your voice as it whisper lies

I should turn my back, I know better than this

But I'm dying to get a taste of your lips

So spin me around, play my strings

Make me dance, make me sing

I'm just another fool to dance right to your web

And I'll stay 'till your interests reach its lowest ebb.

Disillusioned

Looking back, I thought you might have seen the good in me

And you tried to bring it out so I could also see

But that was only a flicker, something that flared your hopes up

And I knew that, so I asked you to stop

I'm broken that time and I couldn't trust anybody

Yet you insisted that it'll not be bad as I thought it would be

And for a bit of time, it seems okay

Until I can no more keep my demons in bay

I turned out to be a monster and you saw it

I punished you for the past I was burden with

I got you confused on with the truths and the lies

Having enough, you flee and bid me goodbye

And still, I wish I hadn't let you see,

That there's still good left in me

Maybe then, you wouldn't keep your hopes up

Saving us the time and pain, if you have stopped.

Bewitched

Tell me another lie

Please, anything but goodbye

You are my poison

But you are also my cure

I'd rather live in your prison

Inhale you sweet and pure

For your taste, I'll now forever crave

I'm dying, but I don't want to be saved

So, drown me in your essence

This is how my soul will be cleansed.

Farewell

The moon-

That was the last thing I remember

We were staring at it

Like it was the most beautiful thing ever

Then a hug

For that was the last time we'll see each other

I wish I have stayed

On that warm night of November.

Spent

As I walk, it feels heavy

I know this won't make me happy

So, though I want to continue the show

I turned my back without letting them know

Maybe I'll put an end to this tonight

And accept that I lost this fight

For I can't go and pretend anymore

I can't continue banging on these doors

The fog is covering my mind

The exit is something I cannot find

So I will simply make my own

When I leave this world at dawn.

Unrequited

I watch as you chase after someone

I watch as you shatter with every run

I watch as your tears fall to the ground

Wishing you'd notice me this time around

I wonder why you always look pass me

I wonder why you can never see

That I'm here and always will be

That I can be your long-lost key

If you will only give me a chance

It'll be me to take you to dance

And I won't take another glance

I'll hold you for lifetime in my arms.

My Hurricane

The clouds roll in

Lightning flashes

The storm falls

I saw you

So beautiful, so wild

A force to be reckoned with

Leaving me again

In awe and in ruins.

My pieces are scattered all over the place

Lost my mask, lost my face

Yet my heart remembers how it beats for you

The past, the future we drew

The corners are filled with your ghost

I kept what I only hoped to lost.

I've learned to love darkness as if it is light

Learned not to chase what eluded my sight

So before you try and make me feel okay

Be reminded that I prefer the stillness of night than the buzzing of day

I've learned to enjoy the battles, the wounds, the scars

The monster, the demons, the way they are

We clash, we fight for this body, this mind

But their company, I can never leave behind.

If I’ll ever meet you again someday

I wouldn’t know what to say

Should I smile or cry

Do I need to say hey or goodbye?

I’m wondering how would you react

Would you walk away or come back?

Would you see the misery your absence brought to me?

Or would you act as nonchalant as you can be?

I don’t even know if I’m over it or not

If there’s no more feelings or there’s are a lot

What I know for certain is this pain

And fear that I might forever wait in vain

There’s too many questions, too many regrets

If you’re not meant to be mine, why can’t I forget?

I’m trying to catch up, but you’re too fast

If we meet again, this insanity might stop at last.

She left me in November,

And I cried for the whole December

I begged for her in January,

But by February, I lost her completely

Can't you love me again?

You loved me.

I didn't.

I love you.

You don't.

We keep on missing each other. Can we meet somewhere in the middle someday?

Not Your Puppet

maybe i can climb these walls

show them that i can also be tall

maybe i can open their eyes

that i'm more than the stupid white lies

they look at me like i could never know better

like a mirror they can easily shatter

they talk like i couldn't even hear

they caught me in their headlights like a small, scared deer

maybe there's still time to escape

that i could still create the world that i crave

i have never belonged in this prison

i'd rather die on my own than with their poison.

-D.G. Gir// 04/07/2018

Free me

they have broken the person that i am

no matter what i do, i'll never be the same

i have only wanted happiness, something that'll last

something that'll prove i'm more than my past

i know that my soul have flown today

and i'm more alone that i'll admit to say

i even have lost that little smile within me

i'm nothing but a worthless broken machinery

i hope someday they would see

the creature we turned me to be

but i know that it's too late now

for the human inside me have taken its last bow.

-D.G. Gir// 04/06/2018

Will you ever come back?

i don't know how i can describe you

you're like my guardian angel who suddenly flew

leaving me overwhelmed by your greatness

since then, looking for you became my quest

you became my anchor to the real world

in the midst of coals, you became my gold

i hold on to you with everything i have

i lay at your feet all that i love

you made me happy like i thought i'd never be

in my own tiny prison, you set me free

right then, i thought something might last

but as i turn around, you became my past

as i sat there, feeling numb

i ask myself, how i can be so dumb?

that i have never realized, you were there only for a season

that you only came to teach me a painful lesson.

-D.G. Gir// 04/04/2018

This is what i like about photographs- they are proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.

Jodi Picoult

Hands are unbearably beautiful, they hold on to things they let things go.

What should i do with these hands if they can’t hold you?

Give me your hands

My soul will sleep inside of them

Inside of them my soul will sleep for eternity

Her hand in mine and in my chest a garden.

But i still don’t know how to hold your hand without reading the ugliness of my own, but i can’t contain my soul from enveloping yours!

I clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos.

I don’t know what to do without you, i don’t know where to put my hands.

Texting sucks, lets have deep conversations and roll on the grass instead.