YES THANK YOU

omark thinks if imark just finds out about gemma he'll love her the exact same way omark does and he becomes genuinely frustrated that that's just not the case. he just doesn't understand that his innie is his own person with his own relationships and memories that he takes just as seriously and just looking at and learning about his outies wife won't suddenly ignite something in him. oirving wanted to try to be loved the same way his innie was, idylan fell for gretchen as he got to know her. imark has helly, he doesn't know gemma, he doesn't need to reach across the barrier to find romantic connection, he's got everything he needs on the severed floor. and omark's inability to understand that is why his wife has been left alone in the lumon stairwell

its hard to think about world issues when most of my world is just trying to deal with my health.

my world feels so complicated and big and demanding and exhausting.

and then trying to think about the 8 billion other people living lives.. many in countries where there are political wars or genocide or severe environmental damage etc.

its overwhelming.

why the winx club christmas special is the best christmas special

- the other fairies have no fucking clue what christmas is. jesus doesn’t have time for magical space fairies - “where’s bloom?” “oh she’s at magical girl space hogwarts learning to control the ancient power that created the universe…i’m sure she’ll be here for christmas dinner” - “christmas magic? the fuck is christmas magic? that must be the source of bloom’s power. we must steal it” - seriously the entire episode is predicated on a misunderstanding about the meaning of christmas magic - the boys have the rest of the day off due to a conveniently timed plot device! brandon proposes bowling. stella is having none of that bullshit - to stop bloom from getting christmas magic and becoming all-powerful or something the witches summon GIANT FUCKING ICE DRAGONS oh and also a force-field - bloom tries to phone home, but her cell signal isn’t getting through the ice dragon force-field or the hundred bajillion light years between her and home. mark watney was right. at space hogwarts no-one can hear you scream - “bloom, as the fairy of technology it is my duty to inform you that cell phone signals don’t work in ice domes” - who could be behind these giant fucking ice dragons?? could it be the one villain with ice powers?? nah - “okay there are giant fucking ice dragons but more importantly let’s throw bloom a christmas party!” “does anyone know what christmas is?” “shit” - TO THE INTERNET - tecna pulls up the internet and gets a list of extremely vague decorating advice - headmistress dumbledore reveals that the dragons are INSIDE THE SCHOOL!! the demons were within us all along! - turns out that googling “christmas” on the intergalactic hypernet returns some really shitty advice about how to do christmas. shenanigans abound! and so we all learn the true meaning of christmas: friendship bracelets -  "bloom has too many friends. let’s drop the invisibility spell that protects the ice dragons and get the shit kicked out of us instead, because of reasons.” - the villains blow up the christmas tree!! bloom, enraged that christmas is ruined, goes super-saiyan - “the magic of christmas is in your heart” - headmistress dumbledore breaks the first rule of magical girl space hogwarts and teleports bloom’s whole family and a bunch of random earth kids in - a musical number - seriously though is nobody going to question what exactly they’re celebrating if the universe’s equivalent of god is a magical fire dragon that lives in a teenage girl

i really want to reapproach the way i see success.

i think ive slowly been doing it for a few years now, but theres definitely more i can do.

i always think of it in the grand life goal kind of way.

but it doesnt need to be that..

and for me, i really wanna see if i can find things in my day-to-day life that are, a success.

did i put myself out of my comfort zone that day trying something new?

did i take a deep breath and calm my thoughts before getting frustrated at somebody?

did i show care to myself even when i felt unworthy of life?

did i do anything where if i was reading a book about me. would i be proud of the bee on that page?

because the answer is probably yes most days. but im not treating myself as if thats the case.

im so harsh to myself and i know this. i give grace to others where i would never for myself.

i just want to treat myself gently.

so cheers to small successes, the steps forward even when theres also steps backward..

and to not just treating others the way we want to be treated, but treating ourselves that way too.

yea..

It’s hard not to feel alienated sometimes by your friends, even if unintentionally, as a physically disabled person.

“Oh, let’s go to this place!”

“How far away is it?”

“It’s only a three-minute walk.”

But you can’t do that three-minute walk. And it’s uncomfortable speaking up that you can’t do that three-minute walk. And maybe you’re well enough that day to push through it, but you pay for it afterwards. The worst part, your friends think they’re being accommodating because it’s such a short walk. However, a short walk to them isn’t a short walk for you. But eventually, you simply start saying no to hangouts because you don’t want to be a burden because you can’t engage in basic activities that are easy for everyone else.

Sometimes you do speak up, and you’ll ask something like, “Can we drive there?” and there’s always pushback. “Oh, it’d take longer to drive there than to walk” or “walking is good for you!” You regret mentioning anything at all; the discomfort and guilt linger.

Structural inaccessibility adds another layer to this problem. You’re forced to say no to countless hangouts that aren’t wheelchair-accessible. Even if you can walk, you might not be able to walk far enough to enjoy the planned outing. People start noticing you always say no, and before long, they stop inviting you at all. Maybe it’s better this way. It still feels lonely.

ughhh this is so goooood

Ive been noodling around with the idea of icy being bloom’s mirror since with her backstory in season 8 it sure looks that way. But instead. I shall do smth else.

Icy’s mirror is not bloom. Bloom n icy are not mirrors of each other.

Icy’s mirror is Daphne.

Both older sisters, both heirs to their kingdoms. Both kingdoms cursed, both wanted to save their little sister. Icy is what Daphne could have become if she was too late to save Bloom. Daphne is what Icy could have been if she succeeded in saving her sister n sacrificed herself in the process.

At first icy hates bloom for inexplicable reasons. Run of the mill reasons. But when she realises what bloom’s story is and relates it to herself, every time they face off, icy is faced with the fact that this could have been her sister. And when she sees daphne (in season 5 when they trap her to steal sirenix), that is her mirror. She is faced with the fact that that is what she could have been (at least similar) if she had succeeded. She could have seen her sister grow up. I think what’s the most heartbreaking part is when bloom wishes her sister’s corporeal form back.

Coz icy is clearly being thrown in jail/has to flee again, But bloom and daphne has their entire family back. Mom and dad and all. And i think resentment only builds from there WHICH i wld say is the motive for her to always go after the winx. Even after season 5.

STUNNING CRIES

Bloom

I’m practicing painting and I’ve been in a winx funk lately

intersex person: yeah my parents agreed to put me under surgery as a baby because my doctor thought my genitals made me ugly. they feel numb half the time. sometimes i can’t tell if it’s blood, discharge or piss down there. i feel violated in every sense of the word. i can’t look below the waist without wanting to throw up

person you thought was safe: lmao imagine being so privileged you complain about getting surgery that some would die to have lollll #cis privilege

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.