One Day My Father Will Sneeze So Hard That The Sun Will Explode Prematurely

batman wrote this

batman comic arcs are so mindlessly dark all the time. “the killing joke” “death in the family” “batman’s grave” how about “batman has a nice fucking day for once” huh? “batman chills the fuck out and spends some time with his kids” “batman and the relaxing picnic” “batman has a really good cup of tea and its not poisoned or drugged because he’s been stressed lately” huh???? what about that, assholes.

do you know what sadness is........ its when you get paneer butter masala but the paneer is not paneer, its tofu

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

i am of an average height by my country's standards, but have since realized that i am an oddly puntable size by american standards

potatoes are batteries and no one does anything??? what about a potato operated car. what about that huh. or are you too deficient in Whimsy to consider the possibilities

@anti-potato when the world finally comes to a halt you shall be the only to remain. and you will look into the dying, engorged sun and know that you will but become another form of a potato: a fried potato

you can pry this potato out of my cold, dead hands

throwback to when my delirious five year old sister sat on the toilet, counted on her fingers, and declared with bone-deep wonder and joy that 7 + 3 is eleven

Flowers in the garden.

you can pry this potato out of my cold, dead hands

fake it till you make it i guess. carry your head high, shoulders back and romanticize your day (or try to). and one day you'll just get there.

How the fuck do I achieve confidence and... *mumbling* self love...? Sounds made up.

Anyways yeah how do I get that?